*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:38*


Pugs is slurring his speech today and he's not even drink yet. Kelly has decided that they are the arbitrators of cool and Pugs says that he has been claiming that forever. Eric is away at Disney World to spread the ashes of his grandparents into a lake and Kent is running the board today. Kelly finds it troubling that the happiest place on earth has a lake specifically designed ash spreading. She also hopes that it is not the same lake she went water skiing in. We have two Apple I-pods to give away and one of the ways to win one is the name game. Pugs and Kelly will be giving out a name of their favorite show every hour. Whoever can name all five shows at the end of the show will win an Apple I-pod. The first show is, Nip Tuck. Kelly says that Julian McMahon is cute. Pugs says that since he is a heterosexual male he can't call Julian cute so instead he calls him handsome. Kelly asks Pugs if it is Ok for a girlfriend to comment on other guys. Pugs says that since he likes to check out other girls it's just a trade off. Pugs believes he was lucky with his ex-wife's, Sloan, obsessions, Drew Carey and David Letterman. Kelly thinks that it is an important aspect of the show to point out good looking guys. Pugs wants to see Carlos Mencia this weekend but has nobody to see him with... me, Pugs.. pick me.... Kelly says that she would like to go and will have a big picture of Jesus to watch her kids for her. Pugs has another E-mailer with a problem and expresses his pride in being the helpful show. Nick slept with a girl from work but broke it off when he found out that she had a boyfriend. She has started to cause trouble for him at work. She has claimed that she was pregnant and has made his work life a living hell. Kelly states that girls will go after guys with girlfriends because they think that they are obviously prime. Pugs says that the guy manual clearly states that that you do not pursue a buddy's girl Kelly believes that girls don't follow that same code of honor. Coming back to the E-mail, Kelly says that Nick should tell the girl's boyfriend and Pugs says not to. Kelly thinks that it is the only way to get it to stop.

11:55
*break*
12:08

Kelly thinks that the girl Nick was banning isn't hot enough. She explains that if a girl is hot enough it wouldn't matter if she had a boyfriend or not. Pugs and Kelly both agree that the rule book is thrown out the window if a person is hot. Pugs says that the guy manual clearly states that when it comes to 8s and up, you must pursue. Pugs suggest going to the boss and hoping that, if it is a he, he understands. Ray calls in and says that he is banging this 23 year old old at work because she isn't getting it good enough at home and he thinks it is great. Kelly says that Ray should be careful because the chick can throw that affair into her boyfriend's face and that could be bad for Ray. Pugs informs us that they are cutting this segment short because Carlos Mencia is there.

12:16
*break*
12:24

Carlos Mencia joins us and Kelly reminds everybody that Carlos is on the board of directors for getamexican.com. Carlos already gets dumped and Pugs expresses his worry with the FCC going crazy on everybody. Carlos says he wouldn't intentionally get them fired and prepares to go on a rant. Carlos wishes that these people who are complaining about offensive material on the radio would have kids that get sent off to Iraq so that they would have bigger problems to worry about. Carlos reminds us that this war we are fighting was suppose to be to a way to protect our freedoms and he reminds us that your feelings aren't protected by the constitution. Carlos says that he is offended by Christian stations because they say that if you don't follow their way you're going to hell. Kelly says that she is shocked that Mel Gibson has a writing credit on "The Passion of the Christ". Steve Trevino is there too and says that he is here just riding Carlos' coat tails. Pugs reminds us that every time that Carlos come into town it gets sold out. Pugs says that he needs somebody to go with and receives and E-mail from a listener. She says that she would like to accompany Pugs to the Improv but that she has a boyfriend and that nothing will happen... she gets a *BUZZER*... Pugs says that is all he needs, some angry boyfriend coming after him with a bat. Carlos remains Pugs that all good stories end with a guy with a Louisville Slugger. Carlos says that he is working on a pilot and that he doesn't want it to be the stereotypically nice show. He wants his "show son" get a trophy so that Carlos can throw it out and call him a loser. Carlos is tired of people walking up to him to tell him to stop being mean to the Native Americans and he reminds us that there is a team called the Washington Redskins. Carlos wants to know why we can see naked boobies on national geographic shows but we can't see Janet Jackson's breast on TV. Pugs says that it is because we dehumanize "savage" people. Kelly thinks it is because we don't observe native peoples' culture in a sexual way. Carlos says that it is perfectly fine to think something is inappropriate but to be offended by something you never saw is ridiculous. Why step on our rights to view such things? James calls in and informs all of us that Jesus loves us. He also asks what is wrong with being nice on the radio. Kelly says that there is nothing wrong with people laughing at fart jokes. James pulls the stupid public airwaves routine and describes radio as somebody on a street corner yelling their beliefs... that's funny I've been shouted out by people on the street corner too and they are normally trying to "save my soul"... James says that he monitors the shows so that they can talk about it in church. Kelly thinks that is creepy. Pugs says that James is offensive because he is pushing his beliefs on others. Carlos says that it is wrong to ruin fun for other people. Kelly reminds James that Jesus was killed for speaking his mind.... I'd like to say that Jesus was a sandal wearing hippie and was a pioneer of the freedom of speech.... Pugs says that Americans are allowed to have different views but that we have the free will to not have to follow the template that the bible lays out if we don't want to. Pugs apologizes for ruining the comedy segment and Carlos reminds us that on stage he has no limits... visit Carlos at www.carlosmencia.com and www.carlosrules.com

12:50
*break*
1:02

Pugs is chowing down on custard from Woolleys... wooleysfriendsandcustard.com Pugs loves custard and says that he is cheating on his Atkins diet now. He says that he has been craving Ice Cream and that the custard officially called him in. Pugs shares with us that Carlos noticed that Pugs was losing weight and that it is now OK for him to eat. Pugs would like to state that they didn't mean to beat up on James during the previous segment. Pugs would also like to say that it isn't the suits that are the problem right now that it goes all the way up to the president and his FCC. Pugs and Kelly both state that Infinity has always been a great company to work for but somebody has changed the rules in the middle of the game. Kelly says that they can't tell you why they changed. The second show in the Apple I-pod give away is... The Apprentice.... Its game time and today's game is "Mommy Dearest" is about bad celeb mothers.

Adam VS Jake... Let's get it on.
1. Jake
2. Jake
3. Adam
4. nobody
5. Jake
6. nobody
7. nobody
8. Adam
9. Jake
10. Adam

Jake wins the Apple I-pod

Kelly tells the two to pick up a People Magazine because these weren't hard.

1:18
*break*
1:26

We are back and we are informed that they are waiting for the verdict in the Martha Stewart case. Kelly finds it amusing that they barracaded the court house. Pugs says that this is the golden age of high profile cases. Randall E-mails Pugs to say that he shouldn't have apologized to Rick because he started the conversation by pushing his Christian beliefs on him and shoved the ultimate power trip on them. We are still waiting for the verdict to the Martha Stewart trial an we turn up the TV... nothing. Pugs thinks that she won't get jail time because the big charge was dropped. Instead of Apprentice talk right now we are going to listen to a very messed up Christina Ricci on Leno. Pugs says lets play "What's Christina Ricci on?". Kelly is proud of the fact that she was able to identify Ricci as being messed up yesterday because she has never been able to see it. Pugs says that a guy has even come into the studio for Club P and K with cocaine residue on his nose and Kelly was still oblivious to it. Pugs asks Sybil if she remembers who it was and she says no... *mikes off* Sybil now remembers. Last night, Kelly called Pugs to turn on Leno because Ricci was acting funny. Kelly says that she was watching it with a puppy dog head cock. Pugs thinks she was weeded up beause of the way that she would giggle and lose interest mid way through her stories. They discuss what they should call this segment and finally decide on " DRUNK HIGH OR STUPID".. after about 5 times of trying to say it in unison they do. They play the clip and wow... she's F***ed up. She says she loves Dr. Phil and she find him comforting.. and something about him being a linebacker. Leno calls her out and asks if she had been drinking. Kelly says that every high person she has ever encountered starts a story and forgets what the story is about midway through... kind of like this show.... Pugs says that on the Tonight Show Leno couldn't have asked Ricci if she was on drugs but he can ask her if she had been drinking. Pugs, who wasn't a big fan of Ricci before, found her to be absolutely delightful. Kelly brings up that Kent pointed out that she would point to something while talking and then forget that she was pointing and just hold it there. Apparently, Christina Ricci just sits around all day watching TV with her worthless boyfriend. A caller named Tim says that she is probably coming off of speed. Kelly says that she recognizes the "high talk" because of the callers.

didn't get the time
*break*
1:59

The next show in the big Apple I-pod give away is... Average Joe. Pugs asks, "How great is the apprentice?" "Ding dong the witch is dead" Omarosa has been knocked off.. "WE INTERRUPT WITH LATE BREAKING NEWS!" Martha Stewart has been found guilty on all counts and there is a lot of legal jargon and my head hurts. Pugs points out the massive chaos that is breaking out. Pugs asks for somebody to explain it to him and Kelly does... I'm still confused.... A caller says that Omarosa hurt herself for any future job in DC she might have in the future. Pugs calls her lazy, manipulative and conpriratory. They play a clip of her and Heidi arguing about sitting down to eat despite the fact that they had a limited amount of time to accomplish a mission. Omarosa she has a headache and needs to sit down... I hate hearing these stupid yuppie arguments, that's why I never watched this show, I tried but argh... yuppies.... Kelly says that Omarosa has pulled the race card before and calls her a poison. Pugs calls her reprehensible. The more she whines and complains the more attention she gets. Another clip is played, Trump is scolding her for what happened and she explains that she needed to sit down and eat because of her concussion.. Trump calls bull on that because the piece of plastic that hit her was little bitty and that was weeks ago. Pugs calls bull crap on that too. Pugs expresses his disdain for her hateful condescending tone. Kelly infoms us that when you are a CEO you work sick, hurt, tired, and even dead. They play another clip of her crying helplessly and then barging into the advisor's room. Trump just rips into her. Pugs reminds us that Omarosa was suppose to be a strong independent woman and Kelly tells us that Trump doesn't like emotional people running his business. They play the final clip of her being canned. Pugs says his favorite to win is Nick but Amy is a serious dark horse. His pick for the person getting fired next week is Katrina.

2:27
*break*
2:43

The last show of the day is.. The Shield, awesome show by the way... the 15th caller wins. *Eye of the Tiger by Survivor* Guy Mezger and Buddy Clinton are in the studio. Pugs calls them Buddy Guy and I start to write down a blues joke but Buddy says it before me... bastard, I'll rip out your heart.... The place hosting Club P and K this week is Club Clearview. Guy says he only drink one time a year on his birthday/new year. Guy says that he only drink protein shakes and Kelly points out that Pugs would call him a tool if he wasn't afraid of having his arms ripped off. WE are drinking Clearview Jewels today and they are strong and tasty. We learn that Club Clearview and the Curtain Club have combined and that a pass from either club will get you into both. Pugs says that he doesn't like the black light room because if you have stains or dandruff on your shirt it shows up. They are remodeling the rooftop into a garden atmosphere and he brags about the great view of downtown Dallas. Club Clearview 2803 main street.... Guy Mezger is there to plug "The Night of Champions". He calls it a new format in contact Karate. It is a throwback to old school karate and to kickboxing. Guy says that a lot of awesome athletes are going to be there and informs us that it will be USA vs Mexico. Pugs says that Guy looks young but isn't and he asks when he plans on retiring. Guy says that he takes care of himself. Guy points out that the UFC fighting game made him really bad and that he tries to explain to 6 year olds that he doesn't really suck. He says that he left the UFC right before that game came out and went over to pride... watch his match with Sakuraba, it was awesome.... and that if you want a better version of a video game Mezger get the Pride game. Erica calls in with all the shows, Nip Tuck, The Apprentice, Average Joe, and the Shield... ERICA WINS! Pugs bust Buddy a little bit and says that he is being awfully quiet for somebody that is doing play by play. Guy plugs the Lion's Den in Dallas and guymezger.com

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:59*


I Heard It Dude (IHID)
Sybil Giggle- 4
Bell Dings- 15
Buzzer- 6

NOTE!!!!
all you drunkards call the weekend debris line, 214-583-BJ18



comments, suggestion, free lap top.. come on I need one!/ gerbil jokes? E-mail Will at castorprometheus@hotmail.com

*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:42*

We start the show as we start every show, Kelly giving the line up and bells are dinging. Eric says he feels great and Sybil says she is tired. Pugs says that is because of her second job and he brings up the friendzy gathering there. He says that he met a lot of really nice people but he wasn't sure who was there for the friendzy thing and who was just there. Pugs says that he feels like a douche if just walks up to people and introduces himself to people that don't know him. Kelly says that's embarrassing and Pugs says its embarrassing. Kelly says its so disheartening when she thinks people recognize her but they don't. Pugs says it's quite disheartening when he thinks that people recognize him but they don't. Kelly would like to give a big shout out to Jonathan from Bank One. Pugs, never one to be outshined by Kelly, decides that he would like to give a shout out to Ashley from Nordstrom. He went to buy some clothes there for Aaron's dinner yesterday and he found out that Kenneth Cole doesn't want fat people wearing their clothes. Pugs says that the x-large was just too small and Kelly says that high fashion clothes are like that. Eric says that JC penny rocks. Pugs says that Target rocks and proclaims that he has dress shirts from there that only cost him 14 bucks. Some suit store owner calls in but I miss this part because I had a very old Asian grandmother yelling at me in some funny language.... I come back to Kelly saying they should make over a man to make him ready for the dating world... me... pick me damn you.... Pugs says that in college he was a big fan of the resale shops but wants to know if it's OK for a 34 year old man to shop there. They are giving away another I-pod today by playing the word game again. The first word is.. Steve Ray Vaughan...

11:56
*break*
12:09

We're back with Kelly plugging everything and Pugs' voice is mysteriously absent. Pugs comes back to say that his E-mail is down and that means that the segment they were going to do is crapped. Pugs complains about getting thirty virus filled E-mail. The internet magically fixes itself and now and Pugs reads an E-mail from Brian. Brian recently got out of a four-5 year relationship with his girlfriend and wants to know how he should go about getting his stuff back. Kelly describes the feeling of being recently single as being like the the dog you don't like and then one day its gone and you miss it. Brian doesn't think that she wants her stuff back but he really wants his back. Pugs says that he has lots of stuff that has belonged to all of his exes and apparently he has a lot of mystery Girl's stuff but isn't sure where it is. Kelly suggest E-mailing each other to set up a face to face exchange. Pugs thinks that there must be a better way to do it than to be face to face. Pugs explains that when his relationships are over he has to pretend that the other person is dead and when that other person pops back into his life, he gets twisted. Pugs says that time is the only medicine and that he is looking forward to what comes his way this year. Kelly steps all over that demanding to know why Pugs thinks this year is going to be better. Pugs says that Mystery Girl had the misfortune of breaking up with somebody that was moving. A caller says that she dumped all of her boyfriends belonging in a box on the break room table of where they worked and includes that his speedos were inside of it. Pugs and Kelly talk about what kind of guy wears speedos before the caller explains that he was foreign. Pugs can't work with an ex-girlfriend but points out that Kelly does. Another caller says to get a friend to pick up your stuff. Kelly says that you have to give stuff back but Pugs believes that the stuff that gets left behind is booty. They discuss how the dumpee always wants the stuff back and the dumper doesn't. Kelly says that the person that left more stuff at the other person's house was more involved in the relationship. She also points out that when people start claiming stuff back it is a sign that they are backing up toward the door. Pugs says you can Fed_ex it but Kelly says that it is offensive to be expected to pay to have the person the left you's junk sent to them. Kelly says to just suck it up and shut up. A lady calls in and says that when a girl wants her stuff back it is just an excuse to see that other person. They both kind of say duh in a nice way. Pugs says that when the relationship fails then the items lost are a tax. Kelly says that he has no right to to take her stuff if he dumped her and informs Pugs that she will be calling and messaging him everyday to get it back. Pugs says he'll just sit back and laugh at it. Kelly screams, " YOU DUMPED ME!" and Pugs tells her that maybe if she was a better girlfriend this wouldn't be going on right now. Kelly says that she would go to the Pub and Grub and convince all the girls not to go out with him. Pugs thinks that's OK because none of the girls at the Pub and Grub want to go out with him anyway. Pugs says that you have to give the photo albums back but Kelly says no.

12:30
*break*
12:39

We're back with more photo album talk. Mystery girl and Sybil's sister, Krysta, both brought their photo albums over to Pugs' house. Pugs showed his wedding album. Pugs says that you can never throw out a photo album and Kelly says that if you do, you'll never get back with that person. Kelly says it's a bad sign when boyfriends start making you take your stuff home and she admits that Tyson use to make her do that. Pugs says that he has chased a girl down the side walk holding items of clothing just so they wouldn't feel the need to come back. Chris calls in to say that he bought his girlfriend a 300 dollar car and took it when he broke up with her. She asked for it back and he went to a crushing yard and found one like it and crushed it. He informs us that he still has the real car and the fake one is still in her back yard. Joel calls in to ask if it's OK to take an expensive ring back. Pugs says that presents are losses. Kelly says that she has left her music library with every boyfriend. A guy calls in and says that he dated this chick for a week. He decided to break up with her because she was a crazy drunk. Pugs wonder why all of the girls in Dallas are wired that way. "This is filled with crazy drunk bitches" he says. The guy goes on to say that he left his coupling box set and that she use to beat him. Kelly makes fun of him for his week long abusive relationship. David calls in and gets dumped out and hung up on. Sybil comes into the studio to explain that David was going to say that he went left his camcorder and wants it back. Pugs says that he should get it back and Kelly calls him on his two-facedness. Leanna says that Pugs is the type of guy that can justify everything he does... Leanna, welcome to the show. As a long time listener I can inform you that Pugs is never wrong. He's much like the Catholic church in the regards that he only admits fault months after an incident and those times are few and far between.... Leanna goes on to say that he is mistreating Mystery Girl... all of Dallas just slapped their foreheads. Kelly says that she won't go there and Pugs threatens her life on the air. Aaron says that she stole all of her Ex-boyfriend's socks... genius. A man calls in and calls Pugs a girly man for having his wedding albums. "I can't throw them away. Do I throw them away? I can't throw them away." Pugs says that his wedding was kick ass and that there are people in the photos that aren't around anymore. A guy calls in and says that a girl stole his toilet seat and he thinks she tried to take his shower head too. Kelly is shocked at that. Stuart calls in and tells Pugs to look out for himself. Kelly starts teasing Stuart, who is 17, for being too young to know what a relationship is.

1:01
*break*
1:13

The second word for the Apple I-pod give away is.. Nora Jones. Pugs wants to know if Eric find Nora Jones sexy. Eric says yeah and Pugs informs all of the DFW metroplex that Eric can't function down there anymore. Kelly says that this was an office thing and not a show thing but Eric says he'll eat one for the show. Eric first noticed that his stuff was fading in October and by November it was gone. Pugs is amazed and he also proclaims his love for viagra. Kelly informs us that girls always think it's their fault. Pugs assures her t hat 99.9 percent its the man's fault. Pugs wants to know if anything mentally taxing happened in October. Eric says that his grandparents got really sick and that was he decided to stop living the slutty lifestyle. Pugs says that when it fails you once, you constantly harp on it. Eric confirms that and says that he thinks about it hours before he even has to do it. Eric also says that he isn't even able to maintain when he's alone. He can get aroused during conversation but loses it when he starts to make out. Pugs says that when that happens you get into a rush job and want to get in and out real fast. Kelly thinks that may be a good thing because it might be that hump you need to get over your hump... can I give myself a "honk honk" ?... Eric wants viagra and Pugs proclaims his love for it. Kelly says that you'll become dependent on it and Pugs says he likes being addicted on it. A woman calls in and says that Eric is like that because he is gay. Pugs says that Eric is self-loathing. Kelly says that Eric has a hex on sex because, he thinks that you screw her and then it's over. Kelly believes that Eric thinks that he'll sleep with her and not want to see her anymore. Eric confirms that fear and Pugs tells him to get over it. Kelly thinks that Eric needs to forgive himself. Kelly thinks that Eric could use the company therapist but remembers that Bobby did and he went crazy. John calls in and says that he's had an erection for 10 hours now. A doctor is on the line and says to go see a doctor. Kelly says that it's scary to make an appointment for a problem like that. The doctor is concerned that Eric can't complete himself... Pugs dumps him because he is still twisted by the new FCC laws. Kelly says that Dr. Drew can say stuff like that. The doctor comes back and Pugs tells him that the term "yank it" is actually safer to use now. Pugs asks the doctor about viagra and the doctor says that it can become a mental crutch if you depend on it too young. Pugs dumps him again... Eric says that it snowballs, you think about it and it gets worse and worse. The doctor says that it is a mental thing as well as a physical thing. Eric says that he would like to see the company therapist. The doctor gets to plug his.. endorchonoligist practice in Dallas... isn't that a planet on Star Wars? Rick calls in and says that he was "skeered" until he figured out that it was his cold medicine. Steve calls in and says that he thinks about his small equipment and it makes him go limp. Kelly says that all you guys think its too small and Pugs points out that Kelly points to things and says, "hey look, its my ex-husband," and Pugs isn't even close to being that size.

1:42
*break*
1:57

Pugs wants to talk about the girl scout cookie story but Kelly suggest they give out another word first. The third word in the I-pod give away is... ZZ Topp. *Jetson bell* It's Carlos Mencia on the phone. He didn't realize that he was suppose to come in and apologizes for it. Carlos wants to know about the girl scout cookie thing. Pugs reads the story and Carlos says that is why Mexicans have the highest rate of pregnancy. Carlos goes into a rant on race and how "the man" keeps trying to keep us down. I try to keep up but I'm laughing so much that it hurts to write. We say goodbye to Carlos and Kelly wonders if Planned Parenthood does abortions too. Pugs finishes the story. Pugs wonders if there is a way to be pro-life without hurting the little girls. ... by the way Pugs is outraged... These right wing Christian wack job have been telling these little girls that they won't buy their cookies because they support abortion. A spokesperson for Girl Scouts of America says that the girls do not support abortion and none of the money that the cookies bring in will support planned parenthood. Steve calls in and is outraged that parents push their political views onto their children. Pugs is outraged because he doesn't believe little girls should be able to pronounce abortion. A caller says that planned parenthood teaches you how to raise a child. Kelly says that girls in college use to go to planned parenthood because birth control was cheaper there. Kelly is outraged that poor people can't afford birth control and all these rich people want places like that closed down. Thea says that she recently moved from Waco and that her daughter was involved in the scouts. She explains that planned parenthood does a one seminar with the girls to teach them about abstinence. She says that she worked in an office where 3 teenagers were pregnant. These girls came from the same homes that are probably staying clear from the girlscout cookies. Some rightwing wack job calls in and talks about that Christian mumble jumble.. Pugs is outraged by him and so am I... Chad says that he is a Christian and has Christian beliefs. Kelly asks him what he is doing listening to this station. Pugs says to make a political statement and buy cookies. Kelly says she likes the samoas and Pugs like the thin mints.

2:21
*break*
2:35

the final word of the day is Kelly Clarkson. The 15th caller wins and Apple I-pod. Kelly says that poor Eric has been having to play the stupid weather warning all day and that they need hipper warnings.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1 In Evansville, Illinois a state trooper pulled over a car and noticed that the baby inside had a heavy diaper. He went to change it and found crack,
Kelly says that the couple will probably get off because that is an unlawful search. Kelly says that nobody will change her baby's but her but Pugs says that the cop probably thought he was doing a good thing. Pugs reminds us that a baby that belongs to a crack head is probably pretty rough looking. Pugs also says that the Evansville High School basket ball team is so poor... HOW POOR ARE THEY?.... they are so poor that they only have t-shirts to wear as jerseys... *canned laughter*... wait I don't get it.

2. Biker chick cole slaw wrestling competition was won by a 61 year old.
EWWWWW. Pugs goes on a rant about what makes cole slaw.. he gets so passionate about his food.

2:42
*break*
2:46

Pugs is happy that Cheap Trick is coming to town.. I am too! SUUUUUUURRENDER SUUUUUUURRENDER!
Jesse calls in with all of Apple I-pod words... Steve Ray Vaughan, Nora Jones, ZZ Topp, and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly wants to know if Jesse notices the theme today and he says that they are all from Texas. Kelly also wants to know if Jesse thought that today's show is good and he says it was. Kelly is scared about the show meeting with Gavin today.

3. The kid that went down the Niagara Falls is now in a circus leading llamas around making $100,000 a year.. I should quit college...
Pugs says that shouldn't the kid do something daredevilish and Kelly informs us that llamas are quite ferocious.

4. Lionel Ritchie's wife is divorcing him and here are her list of demand....
300,00 dollars a month... Pugs says that he's rich and he and Sybil start singing Lionel Ritche songs... Kelly thinks that one of the songs they sang was a Kenny Rogers song. Pugs tells us that Lionel Ritchie and Kenny Rogers trade off songs. More singing and I'm laughing...
Sybil starts to run down the reasons why she needs 300,000 bucks a month but we run out of time and we get promised to talk about it tomorrow.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:35*


I HEARD IT DUDE (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 19
Comments on Eric Being Gay- 1
Bell Dings- 22
Buzzer- 1

Comments/ suggestions/ drug facts? E-mail Will at castorprometheus@hotmail.com

*" El Distorto de Melodica" @11:20"

Welcome to the show! Pugs makes Kelly try some of his drink... when he did that to me I woke up in a back alley with my pants undone smelling like vomit... Kelly trys his hippie water thing and says its good. Pugs says that he is a big fan of the sugar free jello as is Kelly. Kelly says that she is too lazy to actually make Jello and finds it easier to buy the little Jello packs. She said that she sometimes blows money when she accidentally buys the non-sugar free packs. Pugs says that he blow some cash when he accidentally bought caffeine free Dr.Pepper instead of caffeine free diet Dr. Pepper. It is Metro Aaron's birthday today. Pugs was calling people up yesterday for a birthday dinner party and Tyson never called him back. Pugs says that he was mad about that until Tyson saw him this morning and was asking about the dinner. Kelly thought she wasn't invited because Pugs never asked her. Pugs calls that stupid. Kelly tells us that she told Tyson that if he wants to go out with the boys then go out with the boys but if you're out of this area you don't need to come back to her home tonight. Pugs lets Kelly know that he would never let Tyson cheat on her but, also admits that he would never tell her if he did. A caller named Ben points out that they had the same argument last year. Kelly wants to be invited out more by Tyson. Pugs says that he called Tyson out of a mutual guy respect. He feels that if he would have invited Kelly he it would have made Tyson feel like a secondary character. Kelly thinks Pugs is right. Pugs also says that in his cell phonebook T is easier to get to than K. Kelly says that Tyson and her just have a communication breakdown. Tyson IMs Kelly to say that they are both retarded. Kelly is getting a massage and she also got Tyson to do yoga. Pugs is excited about working out at a place that offers underwater bike riding and informs us that the last time he was inside of a gym he was a senior in highschool. A caller named David says that Tyson must be awesome in bed because Tyson puts up with a lot of her crap. Tease for topless lady talk.


11:41
*break*
I didn't get it my very old grandmother called for me and had me do stupid stuff

We announce a game for the hardcore listener, the prize?... an Apple I-pod. Here's the game, during the show they will announce four words that make up a phrase, at the end of the show whoever can tell them the whole sentence wins. The first word is aperger. Sybil explains that it is a form of autism. Pugs lets everyone know that it is Sybil's third anniversary in radio and points out that it is 3/3. Pugs says that his is 2/2. Pugs explains that Don and Mike are big stars on the East coast that have had rivalries with O and A and Stern. Pugs lets us know that they are good. Kelly says that they need a show to hate except for that one guy that they have been not mentioning anymore in negative light... I know who it is..... Pugs says that they hate Fitz cause he steals all the food but Kelly points out that they still invite Fitz to go places with them. Kelly doesn't like Randy Galloway because he sounds like he is always eating a turkey leg and he thinks he's a know it all. This obviously leads us to boobs. In Florida some biker chick thinks that it should be legal to flash and walk around topless. Her argument is that it's a focal point of the biker culture. Pugs informs us that biker chicks are always ugly. Pugs wonders why breast are so demonized now and informs us that when you go to the topless beaches you become complacent to the boobies running around. Kelly says that flashing is designed to titillate and that means that it is a sexual act. Pugs believes that flashing has been desensitized thanks to Girls Gone Wild. Kelly isn't sure if she has ever flashed and Sybil says she hasn't. Pugs reveals that Sybil showed her nipple ring to him... hey you guys want to see my piercing?... Pugs says that all 22 year olds aspire to be drunken flashers. Kelly wants to know if society becomes desensitized by something, does it hurt society?

12:08
*break*
12:21

We come back to more biker boobie talk. Pugs says that lots of guys are attracted to other parts of girls' body and that if you cover up everything that turns us on then you will have nothing but the Taliban. A plumber calls in to say that he gets flashed all the time and that there is nothing wrong with it. Kelly still thinks that it is a sexual act because it is a form of exhibitionism. Pugs says that while he doesn't want his girlfriend to do it, he doesn't have a problem with girls that do. Pugs brings up that at one time the flapper outfits were considered too provocative and now its G-rated. Eric says that nude beaches suck because they are filled with ugly people. Some chick from Germany brought her son's friend to Germany to hang out and he stared blankly at the naked breast at the beaches. Kelly wants to know how you can keep yourself from looking. Pugs blames it on the puritanical beliefs that this country was formed on and says that Australia was formed by criminals and that's why its so kick ass. Kelly asks about the German crime-rate, you know besides the Nazis. The caller says that since prostitution is legal you get less rape. Kelly wants to know why prostitution isn't legal here and Eric says it is because it's too hard to tax. Kelly says that she doesn't want her daughter to go topless. Pugs says that he doesn't want his daughter to go topless. Kelly says that when you show off skin people seem to think that it's OK to touch. Pugs says that when you show off skin people seem to think that it's OK to touch. A man calls in with an interesting fact, Texas law states that you can only get in trouble if you show off genitals and/or anus.. and breast are neither one of those. Pugs reminds us that if we regulate the stupid stuff than we regulate everything. A caller named John says that he doesn't want to be desensitized to boobs because he loves cleavage and unwrapping them... I kind of agree with him. I love breast.. I spend 18 hours out of the 20 hours I am awake, staring at them, but there is something magical about cleavage.. and the feeling you get when you are alone seeing a woman's breast that you have been lusting after for quite some time is priceless... then she sprays you with pepper spray.

12:45
*break*
1:04

Cody is there today despite the fact he doesn't work Thursday. Pugs asks if it is because a wrestler guy will be on and he says no he just wants to work. Eric calls bull crap on that. Kelly says that she wants Cody to get a girlfriend so that he would be more inclined to watch her house on the weekend so that she could go over to Tyson's. Pugs points out that Kent has a boyfriend and shares with us Kelly's fear that Kent would get it on in her bed. Kent assures Kelly that he would never do that after Tyson IMs to say that he would put Kent's head through a wall. Eric, Pugs and Cody.. I think it was kind of hard to tell who was who... all admit that they've had sex in their parents bed. The next word in the Apple I-pod give away is... Syndrome. Pugs tells us that we have found a bigger tool than Todd Newton on "E!" and that person is Billy Bush. Pugs asks how Billy Bush is related to the president and Eric says that they are first cousins. Pugs thinks that Billy Bush sucks and only has that job because of his last name. Pugs calls him abrasive and Kelly compares him to the jerk at the party that acts like he knows everybody. Pugs setups the first sound clip by informing us that Alec Baldwin hates everything about the Bush family... doesn't everybody in Hollywood... the clip has a very toolish Bush being blown off by Baldwin. Eric thinks that it was the producers that told him to act like an ass. The next clip is played and it's Sandra Bullock scolding Billy for interrupting her conversation. Pugs hypothesizes that Billy Bush is a running joke in Hollywood and Kelly believes that there most be something wrong with a grown man that wants to be called Billy. Pugs lets us know about the man that was sitting in between Renee Zellweger and Nicole Kidman, he is a big Hollywood hotshot who is responsible for both of their careers... he's probably the most important man in the room. They play a clip and Billy is completely disrespectful to him and Renee may have swore. Pugs they sounded drunk. Another clip of Billy standing in between Oprah and Uma Thurman... Oprah... Uma... Uma... Oprah... my god this is the biggest tool in the world I feel less smart just listening to this. Pugs does his bad weatherman/typical shock jock voice mocking Billy Bush.

I didn't get the time
*break*
1:37

We come back with Pugs doing the typical shock jock voice and Kelly taking the role of the stupid girl sidekick. They play a final clip of Billy Bush throwing the whale rider 13 year old clip at Johnny Depp. Luckily Johnny Depp is a class act but she was still mortified. Rob Van Dam joins us on the phones Pugs asks him about some poll. Chris Cawthorn is there to interview RVD and Kelly brags about how Chris was there early. Pugs and Kelly bow out and Chris starts out with a two part question.

OK.. I will try to reenact this the best way I can.. I may be off a little on the answers that RVD gave but who cares? I was laughing a lot through this and could barely hold my pen....


How did you get your start in the business and who inspired you to join?
When I was a teenager I went to my first live event, I got to meet Hillbilly Jim, the Killer Bees, Andre the Giant and somebody told me that I should start working out so that I could become a wrestler.. so I did that in December of 1989 I met the original Sheik and he had Sabu stretch me out and they decided to train me. Kelly interrupts the interview and it sounds like everybody is eating loudly... this is funny... some one is banging on the keyboard.

How did you feel about ECW closing?
It was a sad day Rob starts talking about in more detail but we hear more talking in the background I believe it was about the Atkins diet thing and a little bit of TV... I think it was the TV.

How is the WWE different from ECW?
In ECW you killed yourself every night.... Pugs is definitely asking about his Atkins diet I believe something about being able to eat chicken or fish for his diet. The music is louder and RVD is still talking through it... I'd like to tell everyone that Rob Van Dam is a well known pot head and that this is the most focus I"ve ever heard a pot head have.

What has been your best match so far?
RVD vs Jerry Lynn on ECW PPVs Pugs is coughing loudly into the mics and RVD tells "Billy" to stop coughing.

What was the worse injury you've ever had?
My broken ankle in ECW came at a bad time, I was the undefeated TV champ for a long time and I had to relinquish the title

Chris takes a few calls and it's a guy named Tom calling in to inform Pugs that he can in fact eat fish on the Atkins.

What was it like to be in your first Wrestlemania match?
I can't even tell what RVD is talking about now because Kelly is just babbling loud loud loud in the back and the TV is blaring and RVD is now starting to become confused... or he is getting it.

What is your ultimate fantasy match?
RVD vs the original sheik Kelly pretends to care... hehe...

Are you planning on branching out Five Star Comics?
I would like to.... More TV and talking and I can't make out what is being said but I can't stop myself from laughing... pen getting heavy...

You are well known for being a laid back guy have you ever lost it?
I'm a pretty laid back guy and that he has never really lost it but that wrestlers are people too and they can get annoyed or be in bad moods.

Pugs screams TAKE A CALL! Rhonda calls in to ask about fans taking pictures and RVD says that its cool it doesn't take that much effort to put a thumb up for a picture. I hear Kelly talking in the background about some meeting Steven and proclaims himself to be a big ECW mark and asks RVD who from ECW would he bring over to the WWE. RVD says Super Crazy, Masato Tanaka, Mike Awesome, Sabu, and Balls Mahoney. Pugs calls in and has his radio on.. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..... Kelly is in the background. He asks if anybody wants something from the corner store and RVD asks for rolling papers. Rob is starting to sound annoyed. Eric, who is now holding the show reigns, says we'll be back after this and RVD says he wants to be back too.

It's at this time that I wipe my drool from my mouth and catch my breath...

2:02
*break*
2:14

Chris is back and so is RVD.

What is it like working at Madison Square garden?
Pugs is talking in the background about inviting people to the dinner and Kelly reminds him about Schwartz and Vollers.

RVD would like people to know that pot is illegal... hehe.

Kelly ask RVD if he is high right now
huhehuhehuhu

Pugs says to wrap it up and RVD calls this show an alright show. RVD says he would like to come into the studio next time... make sure Tyson is here just in case he wants to kick your asses.... Candace, a lady that knows Chris, and says that he did a good job. Pugs thinks that Chris did an awesome job considering what Kelly and he were doing. He also says that RVD was a cool cat. They announce the third word and Kelly makes sure to tell us that it has a hyphen.. skibble-jabang.

2:19
*break*
2:28

They play a bit of production in honor of Sybil's third year with the show... that was nice. Sybil says thanks for letting her do this... That's my kiss ass line missy... and Pugs points out that three years later and she still has to work two jobs.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. Texas is the only state that allows castration of prisoners. A child molester named David Jones volunteered for castration.
Kelly says that it's better for society when a person that is wired that way takes responsibility for it. She also says a big word and my head starts to hurt. Pugs would like to salute that child molester.

2. Shaker Heights, Ohio, Two sisters were out screwing around with boys late at night and got punished by their father dad. In revenge they put pine-Sol in their blind mother's V-8.
Kelly wants to know what happened to the after school specials.. they discuss the one with Helen Hunt freaking out and jumping out the window and the one with Ricki Lake in a bikini locked in a room with the good looking guy. Pugs brings up one of a kid smoking pot in his closet and freaking out and killing his dad. Sybil shares with us her desire to have somebody come to the studio and smoke PCP. Kelly says that Gavin won't let them do that.

3. A Boston flash Mob that was suppose to go to an Oprah house and sing Row Row Row your boat but they didn't show up.
Sybil would like everybody to know that Flash mobs are out. Pugs brings up Avril doing a flash mob tour but calls it a ploy to sell records... well duh

4. A student and a teacher made a 20 dollar bet that the student couldn't jump out the window without being hurt... the kid won....
Kelly interrupts the story with something about hating.. the third? I think... hmmms all around.

5. A car in Indianapolis was found with 100 9 pound bricks of marijuana that was visible from the outside.
Pugs says that you can make a car out of pot but then realizes that may have been a Cheech and Chong movie.

2:41
*break*
2:47

The last word for the Apple I-Pod is.. jebop... Call I now the 15th caller with the right phrase wins. A caller wants to know the rest of the kid and teacher jumping bet was and Sybil says that the kid won and the teacher got suspended.

6. Scarlet Johansen and Benecio del Toro are dating and we're seen making out at the Oscar parties. They were seen going to his hotel room at 2 in the morning.
everybody is disgusted. Pugs says they are having.. a deltorrid.. affair.. *HONK HONK*

7. Something incoherent about Disney world and then everybody starts talking about Disney world and it is revealed that Eric is going to Disney world... Eric is going to Disney world Friday and Kelly wonders if that is why Kent was standing there during the whole show and Pugs says its just because Kent is creepy. Eric is going to Disney World to dump the ashes of his grandparents into a lake. Pugs calls that gross... ewwwwww.. imagine eating a fish from that lake.. ewwwww... that would be like eating your grandparents... ewwww. *Jetson's Bell* David is here to win the Apple I-pod.. Asperger Syndrome Skibble-Jabang Jabop.. David wins! Pugs says that they made it up five minutes before the show and Kelly reveals that they got in a fight about the hyphenated word.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:55*


I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 6
Bell Dings- 10
Buzzer- 2

comments/suggestions/are you a woman with low standards? E-mail Will at castoprometheus@hotmail.com

NOTE!!! You can view the archived blogs by clicking the dates at the bottom of this page.


*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:31


We are welcomed to the "Bugs and Kelly show" by Pugs. Pugs also greets us by coughing up a lung while Kelly runs down the station line-up. Pugs says that growing up he was faced with the tough decision of choosing to listen to Don Geronimo or Bubba the love sponge. Kelly plugs the website and informs us that we must go to live1053.com and then click the link to pugsandkellylive.com so that they don't get in trouble. Kelly informs us that it is super Tuesday and that makes Pugs.. SUPER PUGS!!!! able to get off topic with a single shiny object, to become incredibly outraged at the most insignificant moments... to come so close to sounding like he's going to hit his partner without actually doing it... SUPER PUGS!!!! and SUPER KELLY!!!!! with the incredible ability to tear away at Pugs' manhood... powered by the yellow sun, SUPER KELLY can leap over perverted listeners with a single bound and look good doing it... for truth, justice, and boobies! SUPER KELLY!.... sorry about that, I got carried away. Pugs says that in California they are running nothing but ads for and against proposition 55. Pugs imitates Governor Arnold, "Vote yes on proposition 55" but he sounds more like a kid with down syndrome. Kelly proclaims that the political part of the show has been covered and teases Jesus talk coming up later in the show. They talk about Jesus right now anyway and Kelly informs us that she watched "The Passion of the Christ" this weekend. Kelly jokes that she went drunk and Pugs mimics a slimy trashy guy saying, "we snuck beers in the passion". Kelly fires back with her own imitation, "we snuck in a fifth of vodka". Pugs admits that he has snuck beers into theatres and shares with us that when you knock one down it rolls forever and that you feel like everyone is staring at you. That concludes Jesus talk and we now focus on why they took the day off yesterday. Pugs and Kelly don't appreciate the tones in some of the hate-mail they got... sorry guys, I wasn't trying to be rude... I just had my daily routine disrupted and it bothered me, the blog has become an important part of my life, as loserish as that sounds, and I had no idea what to do for the rest of my day... Kelly explains that they have vacation time and choose to take Monday off. Pugs explains that Metro-Aaron's father had passed away and that Monday they went to the funeral. Pugs says that it bothered him that nobody had any faith in him that he would be civil around Mystery Girl. .. I believe in you Pugs... I believe.... For some reason Pugs says that he got lost looking for a Banana Republic outlet before reassuring us that he was on good behavior. Kelly tells us that it was an uncomfortable atmosphere yesterday and you know she manes it because her voice cracks while saying it. Pugs says that he was so hammered last night that he wasn't sure if he was going to hit her or hit on her. Pugs shares that Mystery Girl went through some bad stuff as a result of her being on the air and Pugs says that's unfortunate... catch the sarcastic tone?..... Chad calls in to tell Pugs to stay strong even though Pugs made it clear that he handled it fine.

didn't get the time... I had to pee.
*break*
12:01

We come back with Pugs plugging everything possible and seemingly trying to hide the fact that Kelly wasn't around. They have a new contest for today... After today's sounder, "I'm little dingy in the head, I don't know whets going on right now", the 15th caller will win "The Monday Night War" on DVD and an opportunity to interview Rob Van Dam, RVD. Pugs wants to know if Kelly knows what an Apple I-pod is so that he doesn't have to read the little paper on it. Kelly says that its a super walkman and then gets cut off by Pugs reading the specs on the device.. *Dingy*... we now focus on Average Joe talk. Kelly thinks she was drunk because she PVRed American Idol and they both agree that yesterday seemed like Sunday. They also say that today feels like Monday. Coming back to the topic that they didn't even get into before jumping off track, the chick picked the pretty boy. . Kelly reminds us that Larisa wasn't your typical woman, that she was a pageant winner who got paid because she looked good in a crown. They say that Gil, the pretty guy, looked more like a Chad or a Brad... I'll post a "P and K generalizations and stereotype FAQ" one day... Pugs brings up how Gil wanted to be an actor because "it would be like cool to pretend to be other people and stuff". Pugs is outraged by pretty people that have no respect for the craft of acting. Kelly says that Bryan/Brian, the average Joe, looked good in his suit last night, need I remind you people that Kelly has a thing for dorks? Pugs believes that nobody would pick the dork over the pretty guy to go on a exotic vacation with... I wish I wasn't a dork.... Kelly says that Gil is so forgettable and Pugs thinks that Gil has a very boring all-American good looking guy look. They get ready to play a clip and Pugs points out that if you listen closely you can hear Bryan/Brian's world exploding. "CLIP.... sounds like she leads him on to believe she is going to pick him and names all these great reason why.. and then she flings poop at him.. bitch* Kelly craps all over what Larisa said and Kelly has seemed to have replaced Pugs as the outraged guy. A caller blows the Fabio surprise and disrupts the order of the show.. thanks douche. They play Larisa picking the pretty boy.. she says that it was her gut instinct to go with him... I say it was tingling sensation in between her legs.... Kelly says that "when in doubt, go with pretty." They tease the shocking moment, even though a caller already blew it, is it a penis? Was she a pornstar? Does she have five kids? Pugs says that maybe she was a virgin... We'll find out... after this!

12:18
*break*
12:25

Pugs and Kelly both agree that Larisa and Gil probably screwed like bunny rabbits on their vacation prior to the shocking secret. Kelly says that she was walking funny. *drum roll* and they play the clip of the shocking moment, she says that she dated Fabio. Kelly says that she was waiting for the "and" and Pugs wants to know what is wrong with Fabio? Pugs thinks that Fabio must be humiliated today to be the punchline of a joke. Pugs brings up that Sybil's sister, Krysta, got hit on by A-rod when they were both living in Seattle... way to blow that catch Krysta, I mean come on you're a big time sports fan and he's the best player in baseball, young good looking and rich..... Kelly only seems to crack herself up by calling A-rod the best football player ever. Gil was freaked out that she dated Fabio. Pugs thinks its great that this bitch got dissed on at the end of the show. Kelly says that she felt it was a rip-off until she realized that Gil's reaction to the secret was priceless. The gang points out that Fabio is a rich version of Gil. Kelly says that she found it funny that Gil took her to Ft. Lauderdale, a city he grew up in, and took her on a cigarette boat ride, a very Ft. Lauderdale thing to do, and admitted that he never been on one. This brings us to our next topic. Who is a deal breaker? If a person you are seeing admits to dating a certain somebody, who is a person that would make you say see ya? Pugs says that Busta Rhymes, Mike Tyson, Ron Jeremy, and Marylin Manson will break the deal. Kelly says she would have a problem with miss Ohio and pornstars. A caller informs the show that Gil and Larisa were on the Today show claiming to be a couple and Kelly points out that somebody probably just pointed out to them the money making ability that Trista and Ran had. Pugs brings up average Jane and says that the "average girls" will probably be just Hollywood ugly.... IE "She's All That", "Love Potion Numbet nine" ... Pugs says that there is no fun to Average Jane because we all know that guys are superficial. Julie calls in to bring us back to the topic and says that OJ would be a deal breaker. Kelly jumps back off topic to remind us that Larisa called Gil the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz because he had no brain. Mike calls in to keep the show in line by saying that Magic Johnson is a deal breaker. Greg says Tommy Lee and Pugs says that he can't respect anybody that would date Tommy Lee because Tommy Lee is an idiot... more on this later.... Scott calls in to say Kevin the Trainer. John says Dennis Rodman. Kelly calls him a borderline homo.

12:46
*break*
1:00

They clarify everybody's deal breakers. Pugs says Busta Rhymes, Mike Tyson, and Marilyn Manson. Kelly says any pornstar and Courtney Love. Eric says Kid Rock. Sybil has a list of girls she says just aren't pretty and that's why they are deal breakers... Whoppi Goldberg, Martha Stewart, Winona Judd, carol Cain, and Rhea Pearlman. Robby calls in to say Jim Norton and Kelly says that you don't know that Norton is a freak until you actually hang out with him.. I would like to say that anybody that listened to... that show with that Greg the Plumber guy andI'm not sure if I'm suppose to mention them but Norton was on there a lot... would know that Jim Norton was a sexual deviant.... Some guy says that somebody's brother said Eric Estrada because he was cheesy. Jeff says Russ Martin and Pugs demands to know why. A caller says any member of Kiss and Kelly says that she doubts that those guys made it throughout the 70s and 80s without catching something. Eric, a caller, says Wilt Chamberlain and Tracy says Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton. Bridget... Cody screws up the name, says Angelina Jolie cause she's too hot and is completely psycho. Bridget also reminds us that Tommy Lee kicked Pamela Lee in the stomach when she was pregnant. David says Billy Bob Thorton. Kelly says Anna Nicole and Mike says Tyson Walter. That made Pugs giggle. Amber says Anne Heche in her straight period which leads to a heated argument about whether or not Anne Heche was famous before she hooked up Ellen...arguments like this always scare me so I quickly put my fingers in my ears and curled up in a dark corner scream.. "IT'S NOT REAL!" over and over.... I come back in time to hear somebody mention Bill Mahr, Scott Peterson and avid Spade because he's a loser. Eric brings up Paulie Shore and Pugs lumps him together with carrot Top and Danny Bonaduche. A caller says mini--me... dude I completely agree, Mini-me seems like a tool and an asshole, he pisses me off.... Pugs says that anygirl that finds mini-me attractive is messed up. John says Hug Heffner and Pugs thinks that A woman that has been with Hugh Heffner is a world class piece of ass.. I think it makes her an incredibly shallow worthless pile of crap, that's just me though... Rachel says Paul Ruebens and Kelly says that she won't date a guy that collects precious moments dolls cause they are too freaky looking. A guy says Louie Anderson and Pugs reminds us that it is rumored that Louie Anderson doesn't fancy the ladies. We head out with more clip of Gil leaving Larisa.

*dingy*
1:29
*break*
1:43

Chad calls in and wins he DVD. Kelly says her e-mail is retard. It's game time and the winner receives an Apple I-pod and a gift certificate to Itunes.com... The game is about Hollywood chicks. Pugs would like to remind all you silly listeners that you can't jump the gun. Let the question be asked before you chime in to answer.

1:47
*break*
*dingy*
*break*
1:53

OK now it's game time and they wonder if this is Cody's game. It's Zack vs Eve... Pugs still hammers that you can't jump the gun...
LETS GET IT ON! They both repeatedly jump the gun and in the end.... EVE WINS!!! YEAH EVE! Pugs calls this a bad game and I think that means somebody is going to have their balls cut off.Eve starts telling her sob story about her water heater exploded, her boyfriend left her, she wrecked her convertible mustang.. which got a snicker...

2:01
*break*
2:08

*dingy*
its Oscars talk and Kelly says that the Oscars went from 2-12. It was boring and LOTR won everything. Kelly shares her distaste for the two hour period of the show where they run all the stupid awards. Pugs says that his favorite commercial was the Diet Pepsi commercial with the NASA guy watching the Mars rover. They discuss how nobody said anything controversial or Political except for some douche nobody ever heard of. They agree that Charlize Theron is hot but Pugs points out that the mom is ugly. Pugs says that she has only recently been considered great but Kelly says that James Lipton was raving about her on his show...Kelly, that's James Lipton, super Hollywood ass kisser.... Pugs runs down a few of her movies and A caller named Shawn reminds us that she was in "Reindeer Games". Kelly wonders who Pugs thinks is a top dog actress and Pugs says that Scarlett Johansen is on.one. Kelly says that it must be sucky to be the third Eye Blind guy that dumped Theron before she blew up big time. They discuss who Stuart Townsend and a listener informs us that he was Lestat in "Queen of the Damned"... stupid movie.... Another caller tries to say that he was the Emperor in "Gladiator" but Pugs says that's Joaquin Phoenix. Pugs thinks that Angelina Jolie's work in "Gia" alone makes her one the best actresses of the last 20 years. A caller that sounds all too familiar with pain killers tells us that all of the young Hollywood stars today are born connected into Hollywood. Kelly points out that Charlize Theron's family is from South Africa and her mom killed her dad.

2:28
*break*
2:40

Its the big drawing for the opportunity to interview Rob Van Dam. Kelly wonders if the same people that are into Nascar are into wrestling. Pugs wants to know if the friendzy people are coming up to the Down Under pub and Grub to visit with Sybil this Wednesday. Sybil says that they are and Pugs wants to know if it is official. Sybil points out that it is now because he just said it on the air. Pugs actually makes a funny comment hinting to the possibility that Sybil was the one that planted the idea of all the friendzy people coming to the Down Under but, it seemed lost on everybody... or nobody cared.... maybe this is for all the jokes everybody else had that you ignored and let die a slow horrible death on the air or maybe me and you are just better tan everybody else Pugs.... David gets to speak on the air, its his moment to shine, new intern David... "are you surprised that they actually do this stuff?".... David's reply, "No not really,"... how very Bruce Willis in fifth Elementish.... The winner is Chris Cawthorn and Pugs wants to know if it's the one with the funny accent/speech problem. Sybil says its not and Pugs is disappointed.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. An Iowa paramedic has been fired for sticking his fingers inside of a female corpse's nose and mouth and squeezing her breast.
Pugs says that you have to be good around the dead and Sybil calls him a "necroFEELiac" hehe... Kelly quotes him, " Your honor, I did not honk honk her boobs,"

2. A man that had a flat tire was struckby a drunk driver and dragged for 8.5 miles.
Kelly says that's scary. Pugs says that's scary. Eric says that's scary.

3. A Jackass wannabe burned over 80 percent of his body after covering himself with gasoline and lighting himself on fire.
They all agree that Jackass stunts were so 1999.

4. The top 5 movies at the box office is...
(5) Dirty dancing: Havana Nights
(4) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
(3) Twisted
(2) 50 First Dates
(1) Passion of the Christ

Pugs says that "The Passion" still won't have any legs and Kelly says that she went to a 10:30 airing and it was sold out. Kelly assures Pugs that there isn't much dialog and also tells him that it is a movie that he would probably enjoy. She admits that it is ultra-violent and anti-Semitic. She said that the Roman looked like retards and Pilot looked horrified and so they looked more innocent. The Jews looked like normal people so you et a since of hatred coming from them. Kelly says tat the crowd was "regular" people and not filled with insane religious freaks.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:53*


I Heard it Dude(IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 11
Bell Dings- 10
Buzzer- 0

Come see Sybil at the Down Under Pub and Grub Wednesday night from 8-midnight... give her big tips and smiles for me.

suggestions/ comments/ midget porn? e-mail Will at castorprometheus@hotmail.com

Since P and K are running a best of, I will too.


I'm also going to use my own intro and ending and run my bumpers...cause it's MY best of

*"F***in' in the Bushes by Oasis" @ 11:36*

Kelly takes another shot at Josh Cooperman. Sybil is missing and Pugs wonders if Sybil is moving her bowels. Kelly assures us that Sybil would never move her bowels at the station. They discuss about the bizarre way Sybil decorated the office. She put a "sexy baby" here... a "cat bot" there.. here a "punch drunk barbie"... there a "coconut head" and everywhere a "sticker collage"... Young Miss Sybil had a bizarre office.. EIEIO!... Pugs brings attention to "the Pugs and Kelly science experiment" that Eric and Sybil have stowed away in the office. Over the Christmas break, food had been left out and had formed into a moldy moss. Sybil and Eric, being the amateur biologist that they are, decided to put it in a jar and put it in the corner. Pugs was going to throw it out but instead offers Eric money to eat it. Eric refuses. They do agree that Eric will huff it for twenty bucks, on the condition that he doesn't vomit. They play the recording of it and we are rewarded with the super hip reporting stylings of Sybil and Pugs. *tape played... Pugs is dry heaving.. Sybil is laughing furiously.. and Eric sounds like he took the harshest most vile bong hit ever and he also sounds like the weird alien baby that pops out of the dudes chest in the "Alien"... tape stopped* . Eric explains that his brain still hurts.


*"That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynrd @ 11:58*
*break*
*"Moving in Stereo" by The Cars @ 12:05*

Pugs asks if I am still working on the blog. Sybil says she read it this morning and assures Pugs that it is funny. I also realize that Pugs says my name really funny, he puts a little something extra on the "LL". Kelly's son Declan is sick today and is in the office. Kelly says that people assume that Declan is black, because of his name, and Pugs says that's stupid. Pugs reminds us that Declan isn't black while Kelly explains that she discussed gays with Declan last night. They bring Declan on the air and he's obviously faking it. They get sidetracked, as usual, and ask Declan if he remember 9/11. He says that he doesn't know and Kelly tells him to stop playing stupid. He admits that he doesn't remember watching it on TV but, he has learned it in school. I would like to say that is awesome. When I was a kid they never tried to explain current events. I had to read about what happened in Iraq years later. Anyway, Pugs brings attention back to gay talk and Declan says he doesn't know what one is. He seems to be reaching and starts hitting himself in the head to search for the answer. Kelly tells him to stop playing dumb and informs him that nobody like a dumb kid. Deck reveals that he learned the word from his father and everybody just laughs and laughs. In an attempt to clarify, Deck says that daddy talks to Big Gay Steven and that's where he heard the word. Big Gay makes a well overdue appearance and is as flamboyantly gay as ever.... I like the Big Gay Steven. First, Pugs makes a funny and asks if Declan sees a difference between Big Gay and Eric.. *honk honk*... then he asks if he sees a difference between Pugs and Big Gay. Declan says yes and claims that he is OK with homosexuality. Pugs points out that Kelly told him about gays the night before and today he had to call in sick. Deck also shows his admiration for MLK and reveals that he has 2 black friends. HE also says that he has 2 Jewish friends but not here in Texas.

*"Nancy Boy" by Placebo @ 12:32*
*break*
*"One More Time" by The Clash @ 12:44*

We now move to the puppy talk portion of the show. Kelly says that Shemp, her ex-husband, has a chi-weenie... hehehe... puppy. The gang discusses whether or not it is wrong to dress your puppies up in clothing. A gentlemen calls in and says that he really likes to stab puppies in the eyes. A chick calls in to say that you have to dress your puppies up, especially Chihuahuas because they are hairless. A man calls in to say that he puts his mastiff in a life preserver and everybody on the show finds that absolutely adorable. A women calls in to ask if they have ever touched a beagles' ears and Pugs says that it is absolutely wonderful because it is velvety and fleshy. Kelly says that Snoopy was a famous beagle and Pugs wants people to call in with more famous beagles. He also wants to clarify that he wants beagles, not Beatles like Paul and John, so don't be silly. A caller says that she has a dachshund and Pugs wonders if that is a wiener dog.. DUMP THAT!... A caller calls in to say that he loves dogs but he hates when they poop... DUMP THAT!... A women calls in to say that she only likes puppies that are straight and God fearing. Pugs says that he has a buddy who has a gay dog that comes onto him and it makes him fell very uncomfortable. Pugs says that God didn't intend for animals to be gay and that homosexuality is an abomination against God himself. A man calls in to say that his wife has 34D's and he loves those puppies...DUMP THAT!... Everybody agrees that this is a fun way to protest. Kelly teases the cottage cheese recipe segment coming up. Jonathan calls in and he needs to turn his radio down because he is a jack ass and he gets hung up on. Bob calls in to say that the gayest dogs in the world are pugs. Kelly wonders if he means gay as in happy. Pugs says he needs to change his name because he doesn't want to be associated with faggy dogs...DUMP THAT!... Pugs says that the funny things about puppy bites is that they don't hurt and he points out that the lines are jammed with people who want to talk about puppies. Sybil chimes in to express her love for cocker spaniels...DUMP THAT!

*"I wanna be your Dog" by Iggy Pop @ 1:05*
*break*
*"La La Love you" by the Pixies @ 1:11*

Eric confirms the shadiness of the neighborhood and almost gets to tell his tail until he is cut off by Pugs babbling something incoherent... you'll get 'em next time Eric... Kelly says that it looked like the neighborhood got dressed up for the white trash party too. Switching back to ass grabbing, Pugs says that "my word against his" doesn't amount to a hill of beans when a girl gets molested. Danny calls in to tell Kelly that she was at a white trash party and that she should have expected it. Kelly isn't sure if she would have told Tyson if he was there. Pugs says that you have to tell your boyfriend stuff like that so that he can play "knight in shining armor". Pugs says that being that "knight" will earn him points and Eric admits that he probably would have done something to earn points even though he is just a.. and he gets talked over by Pugs... damn Eric, that Fitz job looking any better? Pugs tells us a story about how his wife was grabbed by some douche in a strip club in Las Vegas and how he almost he almost defended her honor until a bouncer came over. Tom calls in to say that he puts his hands in his pockets to avoid being accused of fondling people.. I do that too but I just get accused of being perverted and kind of creepy. A caller asks Pugs why he would claim to defend Kelly's honor when he wouldn't defend the girl from the teenage gangbangers. Kelly defends Pugs' honor by stating that Pugs does defend her. A caller named Chuck teaches, "that grabbing a person's ass is an olden Italian way of making a pick up line," Pugs reminds us that it isn't the olden times. A caller says that women grab each other all the time and Kelly says that women seem to ignore the rules. Sybil says that she would probably giggle if a woman grabbed her... hot, so hot... Sybil explains that she and a sales chick both got grabbed at the white trash party. A guy calls in and tells everyone that his wife got grabbed by the same guy and that he pushed him up against the pool tables before the bouncers came and took the ass grabber away. Pugs says that some guys think it's OK to touch another man's junk. Apparently, Eric fondled Tyson's dang-o-dong at speed dating and Tyson didn't know how to handle it. Eric says that Pugs' buddy Metro-Aaron does it all the time. Pugs sounds a little bit jealous when he says that Aaron never grabbed him. Cody chimes in again with another IM stating that both Eric and Aaron grab him. Eric denies the allegation. A bald guy calls in to say that people think its ok to feel a man's bald head. Pugs says that happens all the time and that he doesn't know how to handle that situation. Kelly claims that people do the same thing with pregnant chicks. Pugs says that he hates the "fake hugs" and explains that he only wants hugs from a girl he is dating and really hot chicks. Pugs my man, you are truly wise!

*"Why Can't I touch it" by the Buzzcocks @ 1:29*
*break*
*"Alphabet Aerobics" by Blackalicious @ 1:35*

They plug Sybil working as a bartender at the Down Under Pub & Grub in Frisco. Stuttering John blew them off again and Pugs says to screw it while Kelly says that John is coming off her Christmas card list. They talk about Eric's rape. Eric got sexually assualted at Duke's last night. *sad music* A female fan start yelling at Eric, "ERIC MARC ERIC MARC!" and she jumped on his chest. She bit his ear lob hard and he pushed her off. While all of this was happening she managed to reach around into the back of his pants and made a half inch fingernail disappear in his booty hole. Eric ran to the bathroom and wiped and found blood. When he got home he noticed that he bleed a lot but assured us that he was able to have a normal movement this morning. Pugs finds it funny that out of all of the hot chicks on the show, Eric is the one that gets molested. Cody told P & K last night that Eric ran off noticeably shaken and that he looked like he was going to cry. Eric says that he told Gavin what happened and Gavin told him that he should leave. They have an artist rendering on the gallery section of the site.. Its pretty gross looking. Pugs wants to know what you should do in this situation and Kelly wonders if Eric thinks he got what he deserved. Eric says that he never intentionally hurt anyone. Pugs claims that if it happened to him that he'd be over it by now... I'd like to day that as a long time listener I believe that Pugs would be outraged and become increasingly outraged all for the sake of good radio.... Eric feels like a huge victim. A caller calls bluff on Pugs saying that he wouldn't report it. She reminds us that last week he said that a guy should report a rape. Pugs says that Eric wasn't raped and claims that even if he was he shouldn't report it because of the social stigma attached to it.... looking through my notes from last week I can tell you that Pugs repeatedly said that he would report it despite Kelly calling bull crap on it... Chris calls in to say that it happened to him and it makes you feel like less than a man. Kelly says that Eric can't really *drum roll please*... "sit" on it..* HONK HONK*.... Pugs keep telling Eric to get over the emotional turmoil.

*"If You Want Blood(you've got it)" by ACDC @ 1:45*
*break*
*"Erotic City" by George Clinton @ 1:58*

Pugs wonders why a pretty blonde would want to put herself in an "odd man out" situation. Kelly says that Katie should be use to it by now, she played high school ball too. Kelly asks about Rudy and Pugs says that it is different because Rudy was a boy. *hammering noises* Pugs wants to know what the hell is going on. *hammering noises* Sybil runs her cute little self in there and explains that WILD 100 is doing some construction next door and decided to do it during the mid day show... well Russ isn't gonna take that crap... *hammering noises* Moving back to rape talk. Kelly says that some people just don't want to deal with it. *hammering noises* you can't ask somebody that has gone through a tragedy to think logically. A caller says that the soundclip makes it sound like the coach was saying that she got raped because she sucked at football... *hammering noises* Kelly reveals her worse fear to be that she would find out that she put people in danger because she never reported her assault. Pugs says that if you fire every coach that is a dick then you'd have no coaches anymore. A caller asks Pugs if he was raped would he report it. Pugs says absolutely. This almost starts an argument.. Kelly starts to explain a point and Pugs gets loud... Kelly tries to explain her point again and Pugs gets loud... Kelly gets loud and Pugs says, "hey settle down"... hahahaha GENIUS! Pugs says that no girl will ever put another girl on a football team again and proclaims his bad ass badmitton skills. Kelly calls BS. on that. Pugs wraps it up by recapping the facts from the story.

*"Tell Her No" by the Zombies @ 2:07*
*break*
*"Ghost Writer" by RJD2 @ 2:27*

Pugs wants to know if its OK to go to "Mel Gibson church" instead of the real church. They decide that it should be good enough. Kelly informs us that God is a big fan of "Lethal Weapon" and Pugs tells us that Jesus loves "Bird on the Wire". The focus back on the obvious religious persecution they are facing today as Catholics. Pugs says that them Jews got it figured all out because they have at least one holiday a month to take off. Pugs thinks it's not fair that people would never tell a Jew to work but the Catholics have to work. Pugs wants to amend his bet that "The Passion of the Christ" wouldn't make the top 5... actually the bet was that it wouldn't beat what "50 First Dates" made in the first week in two weeks... He says he is changing his stance because of the Wednesday release not being fair. They start to talk about the anti-Semite controversy in "The Passion". Pugs says he doesn't think the movie "has legs". A caller named Eric says that when he drove by the movie house he saw old people line up all around. Kelly says that old people go to the movies during the day because they don't have jobs. Pugs tells us that when he saw a movie with a bunch of old people, they kept coughing up hairballs. Kelly is disgusted by the people that leave their phones on during the movie. Jeremy calls in to say that he is going to see the movie and wants to call in tomorrow to give his thoughts on it. He gets hung up on because he is talking like he's on coke. A guy, who hasn't seen the movie, assures us that isn't anti-Semitic and Kelly tells us that if it is anti-Semitic that the Jews deserve it.

*"me and Jesus the Pimp in a Granada 79" by The Coup" @ 2:39*
*break*
*"I Ran" by A Flock Of Seagulls @ 2:46*


Kelly brings up Sybil's boyfriend. Sybil talks about how her boyfriend is going to be receiving a tax refund and said that she hinted at what he could do with that money. She impersonates his response with a thick Texas drawl.. "I thought we could wait a couple of years for that. but I will if you want me to."" Pugs says that she should dump him.... I raise my hand and start talking about how I'm a good catch, that even though I don't have a real job or any ambitions in life that I would treat her like a queen and make her the most important part of my day and that I would be honored if she would marry me.. Then I realized that I was talking to the radio. Kelly calls Sybil a catch but Pugs doesn't think he could date her, apparently she pouts way too much for his liking... again I start to say that I'm young and stupid and she could pout all she wants and I'll give in and stuff cause I don't know any better.. Then I realize that nobody can hear me. Kelly ends everything by saying, "No marriage talk around valentines,"

*"End of the PArty" by The English Beat @ 2:52*