*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:50*

Kelly runs down the weekend line up and Pugs is completely beat down by it. His voice is scratchy and he reveals that it is because he was laughing all night to Dave Attel at the improv... I would have sworn it was from huffing paint..... Eric is back and Pugs asks him where is sickle and hood is at. Eric went to Florida for the memorial service of his grandparents and when he came home he had another funeral to attend. Eric calls Disney cool but he sounds a little down. Kelly wants the media hook up at Disney and Pugs expresses that he has no desire to go. Eric explains the lake at Disney that was designed to dump people's ashes in and Pugs wonders if the ashes float... ewwwww! Kent did a magnificent job this past week in Eric's absence and Pugs reveals that Eric already screwed up once today. They bust him a little bit. They ask if Kent is around and Sybil says he has the day off. She can call him though because he would surely come in because he is a hard worker like that. Kent does a better job for cheaper pay, is that even possible?

11;:57
*break*
12:09

Kelly says that she was reading the blog last night because she couldn't sleep. Pugs complains that he wants to read the blogs when he comes in but they never got into it until he next day. Kelly says that they are reluctant to tell me anything because I do such a good job and for free... well guys, I shall fix it. Sybil received an E-mail from somebody that asked her out on a date to the Pro football hall of fame in Canton, Ohio. Sybil's boyfriend wouldn't be too happy about that. Kelly brings up Maria from sesame street because they use to fix toasters for a living. Pugs gets an E-mail from Wayne explaining why Kelly is the perfect woman but also every mom's nightmare. They update Eric on the mutant fin dolphin soccer kid story. Sybil and Pugs had a similar occurrence last night at stadium cafe. A man named Jason was in a wheelchair and Pugs asked him what was wrong with him. Pugs informs us that is how you handle "these people". Back to the e-mail, Wayne explains that Kelly is a mom with two kids and a hot body. She is a radio personality with her finger on the social pulse of Dallas. She also has no husband and no real stings and that is why the soccer moms distance themselves from her. Kelly says that at the soccer practices/games the rest of the soccer parents sit far away from her and Tyson. Kelly receives an E-mail from Brian/Bryan saying that she shouldn't teach her child how to fight. Kelly believes that since Declan is a smart kid he might get his ass beat from time to time. Guy Mezger is teaching him and Kelly says that Declan got really excited for the sparring. Kelly also brags that Guy is good with kids calling him cool yet authoritive. Pugs thinks that Declan will be fine because he has a mom that steers him in the right direction. Paco Ims to say that if was Declan he would have taken up martial arts secretly a long time ago to avoid the ass beating that will be middle school. Mike calls in to explain that Declan will need the martial arts when the other children find out that he watches Oprah. A man calls in to say that his son has been training for 7 years and that he is a straight A student. He also calls the moms at karate tournaments crazy.

12;28
*break*
12:40

We're back with more karate talk Mike is a karate instructor and his students mostly in the 4-16 years old age range. Kelly says that McKenna, who is four, was doing ballet moves during the class. *jetson's Bell* It's Guy Mezger on the phone. Kelly tells guy how impressed she is with the way Guy handles the children. Guy explains that you must give kids a choice but also give them boundaries. Let them go left or right as long as they move up. Kelly can't believe that Guy has no children but Guy says that he is getting married soon and he plans on having a bunch of children. Guy became a fighter so that he can afford to be a teacher. Karate instructors make no money at all... damn straight!... In regards to the hate mail that Kelly has received, Guy that if he wanted to he can impose his will on everybody but he doesn't. Martial arts isn't about bringing people down, it is about bringing people up. Pugs calls it an incredible confidence builder. Kelly asks Guy what he does if he has a student that uses it for evil. Guy explains that if you his program is tough but it is designed to teach people the lessons they must learn to be good people, passion, self respect, motivation, self dependence. Eric is interested in taking classes but is a little embarrassed about being an older guy. Guy assures Eric that 80 percent of his students are older people. He says that the biggest problem with older men is the ego shot that they must swallow. It is important to be humble. Tomorrow Night at the Westend Hotel is Fight Night 6. It is a full contact martial arts event. Pugs says that these fights bring out the hot chicks but that he is afraid to hit on everybody for fear of getting hit on... Literally. Guy thinks its funny how nice everybody is to each other at these event because they are unsure who is who and who can rip them in half. Guys says that if you come to the fighters and tell him that you heard about it on the show he will offer you one week free at his school. www.guymezger.com 214-954-0022

1:01
*break*
1:10

They receive an E-mail from RayLSU suggesting that they get a website called getachinaman.com We Asians can do your homework, cook good rice, and discard of any extra dogs. Sybil remembers that they thought of linkachink at one time but nobody seems to remember.. I remember Syb, I remember.... Dave Attel joins us in the Studio and Pugs points out that Dave is one of those comics that has people just swarm over him. Dave reveals that people confuse his usual drunken behavior for the Insomniac show. Bob Bickerstaff, another stand up, points out that people confuse Dave Chappele and Dave Attel. Dave just got back from Carnivale in Brazil for a special edition of Insomniac. He informs us that since there is no such thing as comedy in Brazil, just samba, he didn't do stand up down there. Pugs asks him about the great tranny prostitutes in Brazil. Pugs says that he was so impressed with Bob Bickerstaff last night that he asked Dave if it was cool if he came to the studio with him. Dave is a team player and believes that he should help push new talent. Pugs points out that Dave draws hot chick to the improv but Dave only met one lady last night. Some ugly chick that took it upon herself to give Dave jokes for his act. Dave finds that insulting. A guy calls in to ask Dave about being number 24 on the list of funniest Americans narrowly beating out Kelly Ripa. Dave is impressed that he is on the list. Dave brags that on the drunk list he is number 2 the only person above him is his own father. Pugs loves the Insomniac episodes in small towns because the people are more interesting. Dave complains about the chair. Dave will not be shooting in Dallas this weekend because they have run out of shows in the states. Dave realizes that people only want to hang out with him because of the show. Billy calls in to call Dave his hero because he is ugly and gets hot chicks hanging on him. Dave explains the three p's that comedy central is opposed to, no penetration, no pink, and no profanity. They discuss the current state of affairs with the FCC and Pugs brings up that Howard played two hours of rebellious rock and roll music this morning. Dave says that is great. Jay calls in to accuse Dave of being more into A than T. A caller asks Dave about the pictures he takes. Dave wants to publish a coffee table book but for now they are hanging on his wall. Dave thinks its OK for two men to get married as long as they are the same race. He also believes that Jesus is a bigger scene stealer than Jack Black. E-mail Dave hot naked pictures of yourself at dave@daveattel.com

didn't get the time.. shut up
*break*
1:56

Pugs plugs their appearance at the Fort Worth Brahmas hockey game. He asks Sybil if they are getting hit with pucks and she informs him that they are. Pugs thinks that there is no way to look cool walking on ice with sneakers and ask if they can get skates. They are both excited now and Pugs says that while he hasn't skated in ten years, he thinks that skating, like bike riding, is something you never forget. Kelly says that you don't forget how to do it but you can't pull it off like you use to. Kelly expresses her desire to do the Donnie and Marie act out on the ice. Jay calls in to suggest wearing ice skates out on the ice and Pugs is worried that he might mess up the ice. Sybil reveals that they will be driving a Nissan Xtera out on the ice to give away and Pugs says well hen screw the ice. Pugs loves minor league hockey and Kelly calls minor leagues sports more family oriented. Jaret from Bowling for Soup is in the studio and Pugs still calls him Jared. Kelly reminds us that Pugs still calls her sound Deckland. Jaret reveals what the other members of the band are doing, Chris is sleeping, Erik is at the studio, and Gary is stuck in traffic. Pugs says that the Atkins diet doesn't make him as gassy as he use to be but he admits that he can't drink as much anymore. He had three miller lites last night and a shot of yager and it kicked his ass. Jaret tells us the story of his 30th birthday. He had stopped drinking for a while. He got a lot of beer and forgot everything that happened for two days. Jaret informs us that for Atkins a good drink is vodka and diet coke. Jaret is promoting a show on Sunday at Carson's Live, its a Wild 100 event, featuring Rooney, the band featured on the OC, and Bowling for Soup. Pugs describes the OC to Kelly as Degrassi Jr. high with pretty people... Degrassi Jr High rocked it's aboot time they rerun that show.... Jaret tells us that since it is a 21 and up show they will be drinking and swearing. Pugs wants to go.

2:16
*break*
2:25

Jaret is still in the studio and the play a song from the band Rooney. Pugs likes it when bands stutter during their songs. Jaret informs us that this concert will be a love fest, one band has long hair and one band is fat. Jaret proclaims his great love for K.C. and the sunshine band. Pugs tells us that K.C. opened up for the village People, he calls them awesome by the way, and that nobody cared about him. He walked on the stage hit play on a boombox and danced by himself with a microphone. Jaret says that when he has to start paying for beer is when he will retire. Pugs asks Jaret if he ever laughs at the bands that don't' take their craft seriously but still hope to make it big. Jaret tells us that he us to receive E-mails from this one band that wanted to make it just like they did. The band then read everything that they did to make it and said screw it because that's too hard. Jaret brags that he gets to write songs with the people from Fastball and everybody starts singing the big Fastball hit... Pugs does trombone sounds. Pugs admits that he gets Fastball confused with the refreshments.. everybody starts singing their big hit and Pugs sounds like a trumpet. They play a clip of Jaret singing "Two Seater" from the Mardi gras remote at Dukes. Pugs loves the clever lyrics that Jaret writes. Pugs does some more trumpet songs.

2:38
*break*
2;46

Jaret is still there for Club P and hosted by Champs in Las Colinas. Fitz is in the studio too, sine they have free drinks and food. Kelly loves champs and Tyson loves Champs' burgers. Eric and Kelly love Champs' bread. Representing Champs today is Brian, Will, Skip, and Cindy. Brian is the GM and pushes a drink that Will made famous, Havana Nights.. Fitz asks for it and Pigs points out that Fitz took a bite out of Eric's pizza slice earlier today. The wedding cake martini is made out of vanilla vodka, pineapple juice, and sweet and low. Fitz is hitting on Cindy and Pugs makes him leave. They discover that Fitz drank the whole drink by himself. Kelly offers Jaret some of her Flirtini, which consist of raspberry vodka, cranberry juice, and a splash of champagne. Brian pushes the Atkins meals on the menu. He brought boiled shrimp and chicken wings for everyone.. chicken wings?... you rock sir!... Pugs wonders if it is manly for a man to order a martini and Cindy tells him it reveals that you are secure in your manhood. Pugs reveals that he isn't so he won't order them unless they can put it in a man glass. Pugs points out that Kelly and Tyson go out and compete to see who gets the preferential treatment. Plugs all around

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:56*

I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 37
Bell Dings- 7
Buzzer- 1



SATURDAY MARCH 13th, 2004
FT. WORTH BRAHMAS
FT. WORTH CONVENTION CENTER OFF MAIN STREET IN FT. WORTH
Join Pugs and Kelly in Ft. Worth this Saturday to help cheer on the Ft. Worth Brahmas as they take on the Tulsa Oilers. All happening at the Ft. Worth Convention Center off Main Street in downtown Ft. Worth. Pugs and Kelly will be hittin' the ice and hosting all the intermission festivities as well as hangin' out in the concourse with LIVE105.3 giveaways. For tickets call Star Tickets at 1-888-597-STAR or you can buy tickets at the box office 2 hours prior to the game.


ALL YOU DRUNKARDS!!!!! Call the weekend debris line... 214-583-BJ18.... DO IT!



comments/suggestions/ mad props for getting the blog done really fast? E-mail Will at his super sweet official Pugs and Kelly E-mail account... will@pugsandkellylive.com <--- thanks Sybil!

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 12:09*


We open the show with some secret sounding mumbling followed by Kelly announcing that Fort Worth/Arlington is #1 for pollution.... GO TEAM GO!.... *Beatles music* It's Sybil's birthday today. The mysterious Drago took Sybil camping for her birthday and people paid for some shots for her last night.... I made you a song there chica... it may not be a completed song or even really for your birthday. but I made it... Kelly sounds out an invitation to Linda, sybil's mother and Krysta, Sybil's big sister, to come up to the station today to hang out for Sybil's birthday. Sybil says she just talked to Krysta and they are both working today so they can't come up to the station. Pugs tells Sybil that he will come out to Sybil's appearance tonight before he goes to see Dave Attel at the improv. The remind us that he was bad on the phone They guess that he's just not a morning person and Kelly says that all they did was be excited to have him on. Kelly decorated the studio for Sybil's birthday. Eric is still not back because he has another funeral to go to today and Kelly doesn't want to hang around him no more. Pugs informs us that for anybody else's birthday they would go to Sybil but since it was r birthday, they didn't know who to go to. Pugs claims that he just started barking orders at people walking down the hallway to work on it. Kelly informs us that the very skanky Rick Solomon will be on the show. Alexandra Robbins, who is not skanky at all, will also be on the show today... she's hot!.

12:19
*break*
12:31

Pugs asks Kelly if He's seen the "Todd Barduchi" cheap shot on Steve Mohr and Kelly confirms that she has in fact seen it. Pugs reminds us that we watch hockey because of the violence. He finds it ridiculous that the top hockey dude is claiming that the sport is not about that. He points out that during fights the organist starts playing the "Rocky Theme". Kelly says that you have to determine the difference between fighting and sucker punches. Pugs believes that even the really hard checking are cheap shots. Kelly points out that this is the most attention the NHL has gotten in a long time and Pugs believes that this should be good for the NHL. Pugs tells us that in hockey, they have these specialized players called goons. The job of the goon is to go out and punish people that have bounties on their head. A lady caller person reminds us that "Barduchi" isn't a goon. Pugs says that athletes have to go a little crazy during a game so that they get peak performance. Pugs thinks that Bertuzzi... finally started calling him by the right name.. should only play if Steve Moore can play again. A caller named Sack calls Bertuzzi's actions a step too far. He went out of his way to hurt Moore and Pugs doesn't believe that Bertuzzi knew that the guy was out cold. A hockey goon named Jason calls in to explain that while he has hurt some people, it constantly haunts him. They ask him if he makes it up to them by giving them flowers and he says that at least he gets some sex out of the situation. He accepts the violence in hockey as a part of the sport. "It's as a part of the sport as tackling is to football," he tells us. Jason says that while Bertuzzi knew exactly what he was doing, he didn't mean to crush him like he did. Kelly asks why you would get a lesser sentence for attempted murder than murder. They play a clip of the Todd bertuzzi press conference and play a crying baby in the background. Pugs doesn't buy the fake emotions and thinks he is just upset for losing 500,000 dollars. The Vancouver police department are looking into this attack and Pugs reminds us that hockey rules do not supersede the... LAW! A guy says that if a pitcher hits a batter then why isn't he investigated. Pugs tells the guy that it's because you can't prove intent with a beaned batter. Pugs wishes that we'd all stop pretending that we watch violent sports for anything but the violence. We watch Hockey for the fights and big checks. We watch auto racing for the big wrecks. We watch Football for the big hits... Roy Wiliams and Ed Reed anybody... even in the friggin' Pro Bowl.

12:56
*break*
1:09

*Jetson's Bell* Alexandra Robbins is on the phone... she's hot by the way... and Kelly asks her "What Up?" They discuss how Bush and Kerry we Yale students together and were in the same secret society but claim they never knew each other. They play a clip of both of them playing games with the possible existence of this secret club. Pugs finds it ridiculous that no journalist has gone after this more. Alexandra explains that Skull and Bones is a super elitist networking group. the idea behind it is to become as powerful as you can and bring other members up with you. She says that it is possible that Bush and Kerry didn't know each other because they get tapped during the senior year in April but believes that there is a good chance that they hooked up after school. She tells us about Deer Island, the Skull and Bones private island. She begins to explain something else but by this time I went to her website and noticed that she is hot so I stare blankly at the computer for a good while ignoring all the other distractions in the world. We come back to her saying that the club only has 800 members and that 2 are facing off right now. She informs us that 3 presidents and numerous other politicians have all been members. Kelly finds it funny that Bush worships the god of Eloquence and bets that is probably the only mythology he knows. Alexandra Robbins... Secrets of the Tomb: Skull and Bones, The Ivy League, and the Hidden Paths of Power www.alexandrarobbins.com

1:21
*break*
1:35

*Jetson's Bell* It's Rick Solomon on the phone, co-star of the Paris Hilton video. He says that he's sort of an outcast but Pugs points out that he is an outcast that bangs Shannon Doherty and Paris Hilton. Pugs ponders whether or not Paris is a bitch and Rick says that she is nice however Paris isn't the brightest girl in the world. Kelly is really mad. He claims that the people who stole the tape and the Hilton family ganged up on him for a lawsuit so he said screw you guys.. I'll sell it. Rick feels that it was the right thing to do but Kelly thinks the right thing to do was to give the tape to the family and leave it be. Kelly is mad. Pugs feels that since she let herself get taped then it isn't a problem. Pugs wonders what other girls are going to be on the website and Solomon says that there will be others up soon but that none of them will have in there anymore. Kelly wishes for one of Rick's daughters to be just like Paris. Kelly is mad. Pugs loves the tape but Kelly refuses to watch it. Rick says that Paris was good in bed for a 19 year old. Rick thinks that the person that originally released the tape did Paris a favor. Her career sky rocketed because of it. Kelly is mad. Kelly calls him worse than the scum that brags about their sexual exploits. Rick showed the tape to Pamela Lee and she gave it her seal of approval. A caller named Angie shouldn't be so hard on Rick and Kelly points out that she doesn't want the things she did as a 18/19 year old to come back to haunt her. Solomon give a stoner laugh and Kelly mocks him. Kelly is mad. Kelly is calls him a sleazeball and thinks that he is stupid for doing interviews. Kelly also says that tapes like this will ruin guys' chances for their ladies to allow themselves to be taped. Kelly is mad.

1:55
*break*
2:08

It is now time for Masterpiece of Ass Theatre and *Jetson's Bell* Mr. Skin is in!

Agent Cody Banks starring Frankie Muniz... no nudity but Skin tells us that the mother in Malcom in the Middle was nude in a movie called "Widely Available"

Secret Window starring Johhny Depp... no nudity but Maria Bella, who is in the movie, was full frontal nude in a movie called "The Cooler" unfortunately you see William H. Macy's ass.

on DVD A movie called Mad Dog and Glory has been released and it has a very hot 23 year old Uma Thurman showing off her large natural perfect breast. Pugs gives her ten dings.

They talk about Lorraine Braco's nude scene on the Sopranos this week. Skin says that the ass was a stunt ass and that it was comical at how young the ass looked. The breast though were the real deal. Pugs says that she has nasty Harvey Kietel and Edward James Olmos funk all over her.

Also on DVD Myra Breckinridge starring Rex Reed and Raquel Welch. Raquel wasn't nude in the movie but we get to see the left breast of a very young Farah Fawcett.

2:22
*break*
2:30

Pugs says that he has been good with the Atkins and even saved himself from chowing down on some good cheesy bread.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!!!

1. From THE British Columbia in Canadia a man castrated himself and ran down the street, with blood gushing, screaming "REPENT! REPENT FORNICATORS!" It was a protest against sex.
Kelly says that at least he kept one person from having sex.

2. In Texas, Robert Lee Crider allowed his 11 year old son to drive because he was too drunk
Pugs can't understand these people but Kelly reminds him that it is drunk logic.

3. Will Ferrel is a daddy. His baby is named Magnus.
Pugs calls that a name from Norweiga. He thinks of Magnus Magnuson from the strong man competions. Kelly calls him a huge dick. Pugs can't take his eyes off those strong man things.... haha.... He explains the different events during a competition and calls it fantastic TV.

4. Donald Trump will be hosting SNL
YAWN! Sybil doesn't know if you spell out or say N.E.R.D.. Pugs says that now that Sybil is an old person that she doesn't know what the hip kids are into these days. Pugs says that Sybil is at the age now where they can date.

didn't get the time.. I was looking at Alexandra Robbins again
*break*
2:51

5. Roy Horn's is now talking and is expecting a miraculous recovery.
Pugs says that all he needs to be able to do is bend over

6. P. Diddy may retire.
Pugs says to shut up.

7. The Dead Milkmen's Lead Singer died.

8. The Practice is getting canned.
Cheers all around

*beatles music* Sybil has a birthday cake! She claps like a tardo. Kelly says that she has a back up cake in case Sybil doesn't like this one. They make Cody sing her Happy Birthday and Sybil does her Cody impression.


Thanks all around and Plugs

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:57"


I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 59
Bell Dings- 11
Buzzer- 5




FRIDAY MARCH 12th, 2004
THE FACTORY OUTLET from 5p - 7p
3356 GARDEN BROOK IN FARMERS BRANCH
Join Sybil from The Pugs and Kelly Show this Friday out at The Factory Outlet for the BIG GRAND OPENING 5-7p. 3356 Garden Brook Drive just 1 block south of Beltline between Webb Chapel and Marsh in Farmers Branch, if your thinking of re-tiling your home, crib, or condo this is your place!! To help celebrate the grand opening Factory Tile Outlet will be giving away a floor valued at 1,000.00. Syb will also have tickets to Aerosmith and Cheap Trick playing Smirnoff Music Center June 2nd. Bring your appetite too, because Desperados Mexican Restaurant will be catering some awesome Mexican food.


Comments/ suggestions/ naked pictures of chicks with turtles? E-mail Will at his super sweet official Pugs and Kelly E-mail address at Will@pugsandkellylive.com <----- thanks Syb.

*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:59*

Let us whisk you back to the days of yore... would ye like a turkey leg?... LET MY PEOPLE GO!... RUS7-1053.. That's right Kelly points out that in olden days that would be what they would give out as the phone number... does this sound like Pot talk to anybody else? Pugs and Kelly start to wax old school about old Chicago area commercials that used that style of phone number and began singing. They asks the home grown metroplexer Sybil if she had commercials like that growing up and she says no. Pugs thinks it is because Dallas didn't exist until cable TV came out back in the 70s. Sybil claims to have seen it in books before... Wait, does that means she reads? Don't we take a very anti-book stance on the Pugs and Kelly show? If she is coming out of the book closet... Hello, my name is Will.. I'm a reader.... Pugs believes that since calculators and spell check came along "people not know about nuttin'" Pugs notices that the phone lines are loaded with people that want to talk old school phone numbers. A caller says that it the words were used largely to identify your local area. Pugs pretends to be a rotary phone back in the leave it to beaver days. Kelly reminds us of the Charlie's Angel episode when Sabrina had a difficult time with the switch board. *Olden style music* Tim remembers that back in the 60s his number started with LA. He also teaches us that they still charge us for touch tone service. Pugs wants a rotary cell phone. Carl tells us that they did it back in Hee-Haw and Kelly remembers. Ever since Monday night, Pugs can't stop think about men... ... ... ... that have a problem with women being the bread winner. Pugs has no problem with women earning more money but his close buddies are all freaked out by the idea. Pugs finds it to be simple masculine insecurity. Kelly informs us that the new group of guys, Tyson included, can not possibly understand why a woman wouldn't work even after she has kids. Pugs proclaims that he would love to be a stay at home dad. He wants to marry a rich woman and hire a house keeper. His plan is to lay around all day, take the kids to where they need to go, have a few drinks, and be like every other mom in Plano. Kelly claims that there is a stigma for men who don't bring home the butter, they aren't real men and Pugs thinks that is what is wrong with the world. They play a clip from the Charlie's Angel behind the camera movie thingy *Lee Majors being dicky for Farah being more sucsessful than he is*... Kelly says that some guys need their wife to be there for business social occasions but that the funny thing is that the world looks down upon those women that quit work to stay at home. A woman calls in and says that she never throws the fact that she makes more money than her husband in his face. Kelly thinks that would be a big temptation to do that. She believes that it is easier to work than to stay at home with the kids, "You can't even go to the bathroom number 2 with the door closed"

12:23
*break*
12:40

More on guys being pissy about women making more money. Pugs says that all the money go into the same account anyway so what does it matter? Kelly brings up the time when she was a stay at home mom. She was almost afraid to spend money because it wasn't hers. She claims to never have wanted to make more money than her husband but when she did she liked it because she enjoyed knowing that she could be self-sufficient. Everybody, Pugs, Kelly, and the callers, all seem to say that all of the money goes to the same pot... huhhuhu..... This lady says that her fiancee didn't want to marry her when he lost his job and that her father use to rib him about being on welfare. Pugs calls that a simple ego-shot and admits that his father in law hated him. Recently, Gavin and Pugs were discussing about how hot it is for a woman to be and powerful. Pugs, who reminds us that he is a a cornucopia of insecurities, reiterates that this isn't a concern to him. Kyle calls in to say that while he isn't bothered by his wife making more money, he did pick up a second job. He fails in articulating why he feels the need to have it more balanced and Pugs says that it is because he is bothered by the situation. Pugs would be honored if he was chosen by a successful woman because that means that their is something special about him. Kyle works with under-privileged kids and loves his job. He makes less than his wife but he has the skills to be able to make more if he needs to, IE. if they decide to have kids. A man named Byron calls in to say that his lady had a problem with him not making as much money as him. Pugs shares with us his big plan. He is going to use his career in radio as a platform to hook up with a rich successful chick. In ten years he will stop working and stay at home all day. If anybody asks what he does for a living he can just say that he is working on his novel, he can milk that for a few years. Tyson offered to get Kelly a 78 dollar card holder but Kelly couldn't justify spending 78 dollars for something like that so she declined. Kelly bangs on the table and says that she need to get it for herself. Pugs tells her to just let him get it... I half way expect him to finish it off with, no don't worry your pretty little head, smile, and fix him a sammich.

1:03
*break*
1:13

Pugs is singing. Cody pauses right before he gives Pugs the Stuff magazine and flips it to specific spot. When Pugs gets it he notices that it isn't even the right story. Pugs reads us the story, a phenomenon called "gancing" is straight men dancing with each other in clubs. Bill Schultz from Stuff Magazine is on the phone and Kelly calls him for using the term "huffing it". Bill apologizes for not being hip enough. Pam Anderson is on the cover of Stuff Magazine this month and Bill thinks she looks like a tranny. Gancing is happening in trendy straight clubs amongst white people... I'm sorry but I still feel that the word trendy and straight do not go together... Bill calls gancing more of a goofy performance art because these men are neither black or gay and therefore they have no rhythm. Kelly believes that these are people starving for attention... I agree Kelly, so are the chicks that have their boobs flopping out of their clothes while they shake for you and then take your dollar bills... complete attention whores.... The dumber the dance looks the less gay it is. Pugs understands that point but finds fault in the hetero traits of the subject of f the story when he reads a quote, "I couldn't find anybody to dance with so I just started dancing with this dude" Pugs says that straight guys do not want dance and that when they do dance it's only to get into the pants of ladies. Kelly reminds us that Eric does and it pays off for him yet she doesn't have a clue why. Bill explains that the term "gancing" came along as a shorten version of "gay dancing". The club Djs gave it that moniker because they were pissed off and possibly felt that it took away from the art of "spinning"... tools.... Keith calls in to remind us of Stuff being infamous for pulling the April's Fools jokes on us but Bill says that it is for real... well I guess we should believe him..... The official show negro Leslie calls in to say that there was gancing at the first Chicks Night Out event, at Sherlocks in Arlington, for friendzy and that it almost started a bar brawl. They knocked over one of the girls and didn't apologize for it. Pugs wonders how big a factor does alcohol play and Bill assures us that it's the drunkards that are doing this. Bill says that they had to bump animals with extra appendages for gancing in this months issue and reminds us that Stuff is "Newsweek with boobies". Trevor informs us that straight men go to gay bars to gance and that they get paid money for it... hmmm.... .... That's messed up..... Bill says that it is a 50/50 split between frat boys and metrosexuals that are gancing. Kelly brings up that Eric, gancing king, has a friend called same penis Mike. Bill says that it must be HARD... I didn't get the rest of his joke because everybody started laughing over it and that made me laugh too... hehe hard... hehe.... a caller says that the gap between gay and straight is narrowing and Kelly says that the gap is still there, you either like to sleep with men or you don't. Bill says that the difference is that you either like to stick things in the gap or you don't. The gang likes Bill and want him back for more. BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MOSNTERS ARE NEXT... ROCK OUT!

1:39
*break*
1:52

We are welcomed back with the new single off the new album from Big Head Todd and the Monsters. The song is Imaginary Ships and the album is Crimes of Passion. They describe it as a love making album. Pugs turns into creepy guy when he tells the band that he has done some naughty things to their music. Haha, Pugs is so giddy right now. He tells them that one time in Chicago he was going to buy them a shot but he didn't want to come off like a creepy fan. The band says that they do well in Colorado, Texas, Illinois, and Boston. Pugs points out that they've been together for 18 years and have yet to have a big album but they still manage to maintain a large fan base. They have a large fan bas despite the fact that they are very eclectic and don't get much radio play. Kelly and Todd might be related. They consider themselves a rock and roll band and remind us that not all of Zepplin's songs were typically rock sounding songs but that nobody debates the fact that they were a rock band. Pugs remembers back to his college days where he'd be really stoned listening to Big Head Todd and the Monsters with some chick passed out near by... good times... good times.... "Pink Floyd is for dorks!" They say that touring with Robert Plant was surreaslistic and they got to talk Zepplin stories with him. Pugs gets the them to o play Bittersweet, which was number three on his all time favorite songs list, and he remembers his polish college girl friend.. umm Chicki Polishnameski...a dude saw Big Head Todd and the Monsters and Dave Matthews Band ... Kelly goes out on a limb and offer him a gift certificate to the gas pipe. A chick has a request for Tower but Pugs says no. It's their show they get to pick the songs and Kelly has a pick. The band explains that they picked the name of the group as a take on the old blues bands... blank blank blank and the blanks... they just filled in the blanks. A guy asks for tickets to the show and Pugs tell him no. Chris calls in to asks the band to play Zepplin's Tangerine and Pugs says no.

2:15
*break*
2:31

Big Head Todd is still in the studio. Kelly calls them a jam band and that they don't normally dig bands like that. She admits that she like Blues Traveler but Pugs finds them too jammy. Pugs brings up the Real World Chicago chick and we get no comment across the board. Kelly has them play her pick, "It's Alright"... god damn they're good. they'll be at the Gypsy Tea Room in Deep Ellum call 888-512-7469 for tickets. Crime of Passion is the new album and the first single is "Imaginary Ships"... get it, it's chill.

2:39
*break*
2:47

Kelly is all alone and teases the HMS home marketing spot for later. Kelly does the sound effect for Sybil's news by mouth and Sybil has no mic. Pugs runs in to save the day.

1. In Covington, Georgia a woman walks into a walmart and hand the clerk a one million dollar bill.
Cody, who works in a wal mart, assures us that Wal Mart doesn't have the resources inside of the registers to change out a million dollars. They all call the lady dumb.

2. In La Coochie, Florida, a Bus Driver is in trouble for allowing an alligator on the bus.
Sybil loves the name of the town and Pugs thinks that they must be lowering the standards on bus drivers these days.

3. They've found records of a girl from the 1300s named... Diet Coke. Diet is believed to be an early version of Diana and Coke an early version of Cook.
Kelly wonders how you would Id a person from the 1300s.. yearbook maybe?

4.J.C. Chasezs' album is called Schizophrenic and Schizophrenic Magazine is upset because it proclaims Schitzs in a negative light.
Pugs makes a silly schitzo joke.. Kelly makes a better one.

3. Vin Diesel has signed on to do Fast and the Furious 3.
Kelly explains Pugs' therory that Vin Diesel is the defining actor of our generation. Pugs defends his belief by point at Vin's work in Saving Private Ryan, OK I admit I liked him in that, and Knockaround Guys.

4. Tanya Harding is going to be in minor league ice hockey

5. Diana Ross is back in jail

6. The lead singer of the White Stripes pleads guilty for kicking the ass of another band's lead singer.

7. There is a Janet and Justin boobie rip off doll on E-bay

Plugs all around and we're out.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:56"



I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 41
Comments on Eric Being gay- *I included every mention of him during the Gancing segment* 5
Bell Dings- 14
Buzzer- 4




Come on out and party with Sybil....
THURSDAY MARCH 11th, 2004
STADIUM CAFÉ IN ADDISON from 7p - 9p
4872 BELTLINE ROAD @ INDWOOD
Join Sybil from The Pugs and Kelly Show this Thursday for a "Between Friends" Big 12 Tourney watching party! Come watch March Madness and Survivor, Enjoy $2.00 domestic drafts and $1.00 wells while Syb is there. Also, Syb will have tickets to Ozzfest as well as 6-month passes to Bally Total Fitness, CD's & DVD's to giveaway


Suggestions.. E-mail Will at his super cool new official Pugs and Kelly E-mail account Will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El DIstorto de Melodica" @ 11:51*

Plugs all around and we have The Shield Season 2 box sets to give away. Pugs explains that the Shield is a show about crooked cops that might be in LA. Pugs goes on to say that they robbed a money train last season and the fall out of that is a pivotal part of this season. Kelly wants to know if a money train gets robbed on horse back. Pugs says that the "system" turned them into dirty cops so you cheer for the anti-hero. Today's sounder is Anna Nicole Smith being a stupid pill popping moron, "Who's killing the Jews?" Pugs thinks that Anna Nicole is a bimbo and not a skank. Pugs suggest having a skank of the week competition and Kelly says that Bruce X should design the trophy. John Stossel will be on the show today to promote his new book. Kelly reminds us that our stance on on reading is that it is still for losers. Pugs assures us that the interview will be nothing to a build up to the real issue, John Stossel getting attacked by a pro-wrestler. Kelly remembers Stossel crying like a woman to Barbara Walters. A caller says that Geraldo was the one that got attacked by the wrestler. They both remember that Geraldo was attacked by white supremacist and Morton Downey Jr was raped by Nazis. Kelly teases soccer mutant freak talk.

12:02
*break*
12:10

Pugs forgets that he has an appearance at the Fort Worth Brahmas game on Saturday and sounds upset. He wanted to take Kelly's son, Declan, to go watch the fights with Guy Mezger. Kelly is going to bring her kids to her appearance to prove that mommy is famous too. Kelly wants to get Declan involved in more activities and plans on taking him over to Guy Mezger's place. Pugs calls soccer a pus sport. Kelly agrees but reminds us that soccer players are said to be the best athletes. This directs us to our discussion for today. Kelly's son has a soccer team mate with a fin for a hand. Pugs says that while he thinks the kid could never be a quarterback, soccer is great for him. Kelly says that during conversations you can accidentally point it out. Pugs keeps making the cheap swimming jokes and I think it's great. He takes it upon himself to explain the real problem. Kelly has no friends here in Texas and desperately wants to be this woman's friend. She is afraid of offending her and her mutated son boy thing. Pugs brings up one of his buddies growing up. He had a stroke when he was a kid and was paralyzed on one half of his body. This kid talked like Bull Murray's character from Caddy Shack and use to hit himself in the bad side with a hammer. Pugs explains that this kid never knew what it was like to live without his disability and so it doesn't bother him to be that way. Pugs' father was dead when he was just a baby, he was murdered, therefore Pugs doesn't miss having a dad because he never truly had one. Pugs reveals that he would make fun of his kid if he had a fin and Kelly claims that her kids get a lesser punishment if they can be funny... kind of came out of left field for that one... A caller claims that it is perfectly OK to ask people what is wrong with them. Pugs points out that there could be some real dicks playing on that soccer team. Nikki calls in and explains that she was a burn victim. She says that growing up it was better when people just flat out ask instead of stared. Pugs remembers that he flat out asked Jason the Gimp and Mr. The Gimp loved it. Kelly suggest passing out cards with the story of your life to everyone. They discuss working with a one armed man that was asked to carry things all the time. When Declan saw this man for the first time he couldn't help but stare blankly at his his arm and asked, quit loudly, "Mommy what happened to hi arm?" Michele calls in to say that she avoids addressing the situation at all cost on her son's basketball team. She does however give the kids little nicknames like "Crazy Eye" and "Flowers in the Attic". Kelly and Tyson made up a nickname for for an questionably sex kid on her daughter's soccer league, Pele.

12:30
*break*
"Who's Killing the Jews"
*cont Break*
12:41

*Jetson's Bell* Mark wins the shield Box Sets. He admits that this was the first time he ever listened during the commercial break and they scold him for that... Mark always listens during the commercial break and enjoys it very much so.... Back to mutant flipper talk, Kelly constantly worries about saying something stupid or insulting in the real world. A caller asks why the finned child couldn't be a goalie, he might be good at it. Kelly says that they all suck anyway so what does it matter. Pugs tells us about a kid in Pennsylvania without any legs playing lineman. The caller brings up the one armed pitcher but Pugs says that Jim Adler was a sucky pitcher... well, he's too busy chasing ambulances, (I think he meant Jim Abbott)... The caller informs us that he wore Forest Gump style braces as a child and still played sports. Kelly reminds us one more time that all of the children suck. A new caller says that you should never talk about it to her face and instead discuss it on your radio show. About this time I had to go check on my grandmother downstairs because she was coughing quite violently but I do hear Pugs singing Billy Joel for some reason from the other room. I come back to a lady that works with special needs children informing us that that parents prefer you to ask instead of stare. Another chick calls in and suggest having her kid ask the other kid what is wrong with him, she gets like ten dings. Pugs says that after you have your kid find out, you can get information on the subject and then discuss it more intelligently with the mother. They point out that this situation is very Curb Your enthusiasm. Kelly announces that she is going to sue because she is ooked out by the fin.

12:58
*break*
1:07

*Jetson's Bell* We are now joined on the air by John Stossel. Pugs explains to John that he grew up watching John on 20/20 and asks him if that makes John old. John is promoting his new book, Give Me a Break: How I Exposed hucksters, Cheats, Scam Artist, and Became the Scourge of the liberal Media. John says that he spent a carrier exposing business cheats but once he turned towards the government the "liberal media" jumped all over him. He claims that they sneered him when they felt he when "conservative". He calls himself a libertine, he has largely liberal social beliefs but is a little more conservative when it comes to government. Pugs thins that John put the "liberal Media" line in the title to stir up the pot... huh pot... and John admits that the publisher put that in there to sensationalize it. Pugs, who is noticeably bothered, calls the title misleading. John believes that the government has too much control over everything and should butt out sometimes. Benjamin calls in to ask John if he is going to be at "Freedom Fest" and John says yes... this most be some sort of anti-hippie hippie retreat or something.... Kelly brings up the current state of the media and asks him to predict what will happen out of all this. John says that his type of media dudes aren't really affected by it but finds the whole thing ridiculous. Janet's breast isn't terrorizing the world so why are we letting it? John doesn't believe that it will affect radio when all is said and done but our heros both inform him that things are changing and it is scary. Bruce calls in to ask John if he has a law degree, which he does not... that's it... ok, is that some sort of prick waving contest?...Sara asks about the wrestler attacking him and giving him ear damage. Kelly points out that everybody thinks that it is Geraldo that got attacked but John admits it was him. He thinks the wreslter may have been on meth. and was just too hyped up. He didn't like what happened but it made for good TV. John says that the real story behind the Martha Stewart story is the people that got killed in the process by the halt in the production of the cancer drug. He thinks too many people are overlooking that aspect of the story. John says goodbye and Kelly points out that Pugs was visually troubled by him. They became irritated by him when he confessed to the publisher sensationalizing the title.

1:27
*break*
1:41

"Who's killing the Jews?' Its skank talk for the second day in a row on the mid day show. Pugs reminds us that they have bowel movements... ok... They run down exactly how they came to skank talk yesterday and announce that Pugs, Kelly, Sybil, and self proclaimed official show negro Leslie all have come up with a top ten skank list.

Sybil's list...
10- Rob Zombie
9 TIE 50 cent and Tommy Lee, Pugs says that she can't have ties so she picks Tommy Lee
8. Mickey Rourke
7. Marylin Manson
6. Ron Jeremy
6. Lenny Kravitz
4. Kurt Cobaine
3. Steve-o
2.. Kevin the Trainer
1. Kid Rock

Everybody laughs that she has Kevin on her list but they defend him. Sybil reminds us that Kevin once had 7 different chicks 7 nights in a row and that he never wears condoms. Sybil knowingly dated a skanky guy but claims that those days are over.

Leslie is up to the plate now and tells us that this list was hard because when you are black and skanky they won't let you be famous.

Leslie's list..
10. Lil Kim
9. Mary J Blige
8. Latoya Jackson
7. Tracy Bingham
6. Mariah Carey... there are discusion as to whether or not she is black and Leslie calls her as black as Halle Berry is.
5. Whitney Houston... she didn't start out skanky but she is now.
4. Robin Givens.. cause she had Mike Tyson juice all over her
3. Foxy Brown... Leslie gives me a props for that one, everybody agrees that she is a trashier Lil Kim
2. Pam Grier
1. Diana Ross... everybody gives a nice oooo for that.

Sybil says that she left off Eve and Leslie says that she should have taken off Foxy Brown for that one... Sybil is always showing me up...
She would also like to give a special mention to Aretha Franklin for always wearing clothes three sizes too small with her boobs flopping about. She also never shaves her pits and looks like she has two black kids in a headlock. Sybil laughs like a crazy person.

1:57
*break*
2:05

Kelly's list
10. Ron Jeremy
9. David Spade
8. Fabio
7. Don King
6. John Wayne Bobett
5. Geraldo
4. david Lee Roth
3. Skeet Ulrich... a skankeir version of Johnny Depp
2. Dennis Rodman
1. Dave Navarro

They point out that Carmen Electra has been involved with the top two people on that list. Sybil says that she most like the skank crank

Pugs' list

10. Flo from Alice
9. Christy McNickel
8. McKenzie Phillips
6. Jenny piccolo
5. Jan Brady
4. Juliet Lewis... he tells us to watch Natural Born Killer, Kalifornia, and The Other Sister to see her skanky... Kelly informs him that she was retarded in The Other Sister
3.Brittany Murphy.
2. Courtney Love
1. Sandra Bernhard.

A caller suggest Ed Norton and Kelly reluctantly admits to his skankousity.

didn't get the time
*break*
2:24

They discuss T.V. from last night. The behind the camera movie about Charlie's Angels was on last night. They discuss how this show was a big part of their lives growing up. Kelly was always annoyed that she was forced to play Kelly when she was a kid and Pugs doesn't share with us who he use to play. Pugs calls Charlie's Angels the Baywatch of the seventies only bigger. The casting of the Angels last night was perfect and Pugs that it was more than just the look, they had the mannerisms and cadence down too. Kelly reads the ratings and it got it's ass kicked. They play a clip of the dead on impressions from the movie last night. They play another clip from a party at Aaron Spelling's house and in it Tori asks her father if she can be on TV one day too. Aaron tells her that one day he will create a show just to put her on... HA!.... They play a clip of the producers asking the writer to stop improving the show. Pugs compares the rise of Farah Fawcett to the rise of Brittany Spears. they play a clip of Lee Majors being the jack hole that he is. A caller asks about the farah Fawcett poster and Pugs and Kelly both remember it vividly.

2:40
*break*
"Who's Killing the Jews"
*cont break*
2:47

Sybil is missing and Pugs accidentally pushes the "One for Each teat" button... all hell is breaking loose... RUN!... Iggy wins the last Shield box set... Back to Iggy, Pugs asks if Iggy was named after a saint and he says yes... back to Iggy, Pugs asks Iggy if he likes Twiggy and Iggy calls him a freak... back to Iggy, Pugs asks Iggy if he likes the model Iggy and Iggy admits to not knowing who that is... back to Iggy, Pugs asks if Iggy like Iggy Pop and he does. Pugs admits that he is doing this to piss off Sybil.. back to Iggy, he asks Iggy if he thinks this is pissing off Sybil and Iggy says he hopes not.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. California is trying to pass a law that will allow 14 year old to hold 1/4 of a vote and 16 year old to have 1/2 of a vote.
Pugs is kind of behind this and Kelly is opposed. Pugs says that 14 year olds maybe more informed then we think but they still lack the life experience to make wise decisions.

2. The Mayor of Lexington, Nebraska is named John Faggot....
Pugs says that is funny cause it rhymes with Maggot.

3. They found the body of Spalding Gray
Kelly is outraged that not more people are talking about the Murphy Brown dude being dead. She believes that it is a conspiracy against all the Murphy Brown cast.

4. Dear Abbey was pulled from next weeks paper because a story in it resembles a Simpson's episode.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:56*


Hey all you people show up to the Down Under Pub and Grub in Frisco Wednesday night to tip Sybil the super duper bar tender... give her money and a smile.

I Heard It Dude (IHID)
Sybil giggle- 30
Bell Dings- 10
Buzzer- 1





Suggestions/ kind words? E-mail Will at his new super kick ass big party time official Pugs and Kelly E-mail account... at Will@pugsandkellylive.com <--- thank you Sybil!

*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:40*

Kelly runs down the line up but not every show gets dings. We get one ding for loveline and two for the rebroadcast of Russ. Pugs and Kelly discuss when exactly spring starts and Kelly reminds us that March is in like a lion and out like a lamb. Pugs is also confused on when exactly St. Patrick's day is and Kelly informs him that it is on the 17th. *Jetson's Bell* A guys named Shawn is welcoming the President to Dallas with a big sign that says The Pugs and Kelly show rock. Shawn is also excited that Big Head Todd is going to be on the air. Kelly informs us that he will be on the air on Wednesday. Pugs says that he had a great weekend. He saw Carlos Mencia Friday night. Pugs believes that the Atkins diet is killing him. He explains that he can't have beer and can only drink vodka and whiskey... maybe its the hardcore liquor that's killing you, not the Atkins... He says he doesn't get the same nice warm feeling he gets with beer beause he gets drunk too fast. Pugs also saw the fights that Guy Mezger was promoting and says that Team Mexico had their asses handed to them. Kelly wonders what type of fighting was it and Pugs says it was kick boxing. Kelly, being the coolest person in the world in my book, pulls out a "Say Anything" quote and calls it the "sport of the future". Pugs says that he also met a lot of radio people this weekend and calls them nice. Kevin the Trainer seemed to have spoiled some fun when he refused to remove his hat to get into the club. Pugs is his partner... silly boy... and Kevin calls in to explai ntaht he had hat hair. Kelly tells Kevin that he could have just done his hair in the bathroom with water and Pugs informs us that Kevin wanted to go to Albertson's to use the hair care products. Kevin was upset because Ashton Kutcher could get away with it... let me remind everybody this is a guy that calls me a tool... Kelly asks Kevin if he accused them of being "hatist". I don't think Kevin got it but he played along.

11:54
*break*
12:03


We are welcomed back with Sopranos talk and an E-mail asking who the hot chick was that Tony had with him. Pugs remembers that she was in "Head of the Class" and Kelly confuses her with Jesse Soprano from "Saved by the Bell".... Her name is Leslie Bega and her Sopranos character is Valentina.... Kelly can't remember what's going on anymore because it has been so long since the last season. Pugs explains what's going on this season thus far. Furio, who has disappeared, has a hit out on him because he his relationship with Carmella, Christopher is still trying to kick his drug habit, Adriana is still a FBI informant, and Paulie Walnuts is untrustowothy... they're all untrustworthy.... They play a clip of the show, *Christopher and Paulie arguing about the bill. Chris throws a brick at a waiter's head and then Paulie him to put him out of his misery*.... *Law and Order Theme* Pugs thinks that the people from Law and Order would have no problem solving this case. A caller points out the cartoonish Mafia attitudes that everyone had and Kelly believes that will be a focal point of the plot this season. Pugs says that will probably be a focal point of the plot this season. Pugs thinks that the murder of the waiter, which was a bonding moment for them, will lead toward bigger issues between the two. Pugs thinks that Lorraine Braco's character is a complete downer. Kelly compares her to a pornstar trying to be a psychologist.. I always thought she talked like she was retarded... Joey calls in and he too says that the cartoonish act will become a focal point of the plot... dead horse has been beaten.... Pugs reminds us that the first episode of the season is always slow because they have to tie everything from last season back. Kelly found the bear silly but thought that the wildlife guy was cute. Kelly is interested in who in the hell would would date Tony Soprano's ex-wife. Pugs says he wouldn't.. I wouldn't too.

12:23
*break*
12:36

Kelly is in the chat room and it is lame. They have a box set of The Shield season 2 and in honor of President Bush being in Dallas, today's sounder is G-DUB saying *Good Afternoon*... They try to sneak one in right quick, "GOOD AFTERNOON".... sneaky bastards.... Kelly gets ton of E-mail about the ghost living in her house and she has decided to update the situation now. The ghost stole Tyson's keys.. dun dun daaaaa!!!!!... *Excorcist Theme* Tyson, who is very anal, always places his keys in the same location and the next day they were gone. Tyson took a shower and the door handle started to shake like somebody was trying to get in. Tyson asked Kelly if it was her or the kids but Kelly says it wasn't. Since Kelly is a founding member of the Pugs and Kelly school of story telling, she jumps back to the previous story without warning... She says that they searched through the whole house to find the keys. Kelly says that they were found sitting on top of the brief case later. Pugs wonders if the kids are playing mind games on them because he use to hide his mother's lighters when he was a kid. Kelly says that McKenna was explaining that she was tired because the ghost children wanted to play hide and go sleep all night. Declan is upset because he has never seen the ghost. Kelly doesn't approve of ghost kids playing with her kids. A caller found it creepier that Tyson carries a briefcase. He's a football player for god's sake. Kelly also informs us that Tyson went to get water in the middle of the night to find that all of the cabinets were open. Pugs thinks that was just Tyson messing with her and Kelly says that Tyson is a republican... and we all know that republican's don't lie.... Kelly, who I remind you is a founding member of the Pugs and Kelly school of story telling, says that Tyson went through his brief case twice before they were found sitting on top of it. Alex, who had Aztec ghost living in his Mexican castle, use to have the ghost goon up on his brother. Kelly finds wind up toys creepy and Pugs find Cymbal playing toy monkeys frightening. Pugs wonders if the ghost kid will try to get McKenna to start drinking and smoking. Karen, Kelly's babysitter, calls in to say that she loses her keys all the time at Kelly's house and Pugs brings up that Francis, who installed Kelly's counter top, saw something in there. Pugs thinks that too many people are seeing too many things and that Kelly isn't crafty enough to pull off this kind of hose job. Kelly claims that she isn't horribly scared about what is happening. Pugs wants to have a sleepover at Kelly's place and... I hope I'm invited.. I work really hard and everything on this blog.... Pugs admits that he will find an excuse to not show up though. Kelly wants the ghost hunter people.

12:57
*break*
1:13

Kelly plugs the blog... because I begged her to.. They call it funnier than the show. We have passes to the I-max to give away and the question is.. Who just got arrested for possession again?... I know the answer, David Crosby. John calls in and gets it right, good job. Pugs justifies Crosby's pot smoking with the fact that he has no liver and can't drink. Kelly says that she gets "Immigration Man" and "Secret Agent Man" confused. They play some CSN and Pugs calls it chill out music. He feels that these guys obviously gets stoned a lot and Kelly doesn't want them on her dodgeball team. Pugs believes that an ounce of weed is a lot and Kelly wants to know what a lid is. Pugs isn't sure of what a dime bag is and he wonders why pot heads need guns. Kelly reads us a little about Crosby. He was thrown in the Huntsville prison for possession of coke and guns. In '94 he received a liver transplant and he is also the sperm donor to Melissa Ethridge's baby. A caller named Deter explains that an "O" last for two weeks with his buddies. He puts his kids to bed and enjoys 2-3 bowls a night. He mentions a nickel bag and Pugs is still confused.... doesn't Pugs claim to have been a big time pot smoker at one time?... A stoner calls in to explain that a lid, or a can, is an ounce of weed. Another caller explains some more of the back stage with Crosby stuff and Pugs wants to know why Paul McCartney got busted for pot in Japan. Doesn't he have people to hold all of that for him? Pugs finally finishes reading the whole story and believes that you should always pat down David Crosby. Kelly is disturbed when she finds out that Crosby didn't meet his son until his son was thirty. Pugs explains that her didn't know he existed and has embraced his son. Kelly is relieved. Pugs wants to cheer on Crosby but he is so damned stupid.

1:37
*break*
1:53

Plug for this blog... but I think Pugs is taking a shot at me. He says that some other show blogs are long winded and its a lot of "he says this.. and she says that..." but that mine are beautiful woven tapestries... I think that was a bit of sarcasm... I would like to say in my defense that if my blogs are not up to par, then I will change the format of them. I'm a big fan of the show and I want to get as much as possible into this blog. I'm sorry if it's a little long winded.... They play the weekend debris line... DRUNKARDS ALL OF YOU... there was a handsome sounding man on there that I found highly entertaining.... they should give that guy a job or some money or some hookers.... The show, who is now in the business of helping people with their problems, receives an E-mail from a listener named Roberto. Roberto's "homie" has a skank ass girlfriend. His buddy keeps asking him, "Dude, isn't she hot," but Roberto thinks she is a skank. He wants to know how to address the situation without hurting his buddy's feelings. Pugs has had lots of experience with this sort of thing. He believes that guys can be in denial with what they can or can't get... me I always shoot too high, but that's just me.... Pugs assures us that guys will tell you when the girl is hot and Kelly wonders where Roberto and his buddy stand on this sliding scale of skankaustity. Pugs has a buddy that can't date a woman until all of his friends approves. Pugs admits that they would find something wrong with the girls just to mess with him. Pugs also admits that guys are brutal when it comes to talking behind each other's back. Kelly can't call her friend's boyfriends hot because that would be weird. They start a discussion on what exactly a skank is. Pugs says that Juliet Lewis is a prime example of a skank. Kelly says pornstars. Pugs' definition of a skank is a girl that is ugly that tries to make up for it by dressing slutty. Callers start naming off skanks... Courtney Love. Kelly imagines skanks with lots of dark eye liner an black lip liner. Kelly sees "Crystal" and Pugs affirms that "Crystal" is a skank. Rose McGowan is suggested by a listener but Pugs says that she isn't skanky just weird. She's glamorous according to him and Kelly says, "yeah, glamorous in Rockwall"... that made me giggle... Cody calls in and says Neve Campbell and they both say that she isn't. Tanya Harding gets a bell. A caller further qualifies a skank. He explains that you'd screw a slut but you wouldn't touch a skank. Kelly Osborne, Kim Mathers, Brittany Murphy, and Pris Hilton. Pugs reluctantly agrees and Kelly reminds us that "money doesn't not a skank make:... umm OK. Alex calls in and says Fariza Balk.. I'd give him a big ding if I had a dingalinger.... Christina Ricci.... Lil Kim cause a little debate because Pugs doesn't think that black people can be skanky because they have different terminology. Tara Reid gets 4 bells. Some weirdo says that Halle Berry is a skank... what the hell? shut up dude and die... The ultimate skank is revealed... Madonna. Pugs says that he has never found Madonna sexy, I agree with him 100 percent.... Rosanna Arquette... Pete calls in and says Jaime Presley but Pugs says that she is smoking hot now but in 15 years its skankdom for her. Sandra Bernhard is called the poster skank for skanks.

from what I heard here are all the skanks that were mentioned...

Julliette Lewis
Porn Stars
Courtney Love
"Crystal"
Rose Mcgowan
Neve Campbell
the daughter from 6 feet under
Kelly Osborne
Kim Mathers
Brittany Murphy
Paris Hilton
Christina Ricci
Faruza Balk
Lil Kim
Nicole Ritchie
Tara Reid
Halle Berry
Madonna
Rosanna Arquette
Jaime Presley
Sandra Bernhard...

If I misspelled any of these names.. I don't care so BLEH!

2:21
*2:30

Pugs claims that he has had massive response from skank talk and announce that tomorrow they will have the top ten skankiest guys and gals. Discussion on black skanks again and Sybil brings up BAPS. Pugs knows the movie she is talking about and even knows what BAPS stands for. Kelly calls them on it while Sybil laughs like a crazy person. Pugs teases the news but instead starts raving about how great Curb Your Enthusiasm is.. it really is the funniest show in TV... He brings up that the running gag in show was that there was going to be a meeting of "survivors" . It turns into an argument about who had it worse between a holocaust survivor and Colby from "Survivor"... hearing this clip I almost wet my pants.

SYBILZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

Sybil shamelessly plugs the Big 12 tournament and Survivor watching party she is hosting and this leads to a discussion about when March Madness starts. Sybil begins to talk but Pugs cuts her off and starts ranting incoherently. Kelly says that Duke is always in there.

1. A man was arrested in at the Charlotte airport for spitting urine on a security guard.
Everyone agrees that is gross and that it is strange behavior.

2. The topless biker chick's protest was a big.. *drum roll please* flop... HAHAHAHAHAHA.... only twenty people showed up and she was the only one that went topless.
Pugs says "Good for her"

no time to get the time
*break*
*good afternoon*
*cont. break*
2:52

3. The top five box office movies are
5- Twisted
4- 50 first dates
3- Hidalgo
2- Startsky and Hutch
1- The Passion of the Christ.

Pugs is outraged, for the first time today, He believes that it is some sort of conspiracy and he claims that he will figure it out. Tyson IMs to day that Pugs is right, the Jews in Hollywood are trying to promote Christianity.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:57*




I Heard It Dude (IHID)
Sybil Giggle- 29
Accidental admission to a gay lifestyle- 1
Bell Dings- 23
Buzzer- strangely... 0




NOTE! Last week I was going to do a special edition blog for Sybil's third year with the show.. she never did my interview questions... I know she is a busy girl... I won't cry about it... much... Since I promised some of you a special edition of the blog I thought I'd make it up to you by offering up a picture a day of Sybil...





comments/ money/ money/ money/ lap tops?... E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com