*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:47*

Kelly attempts to run down the weekend line up and Pugs stops her to say that Amel Armadillo treated him to his box last night at the Mavs' game. Gavin comes into the studio to give out the line up. Pugs points out that this is Gavin's passive aggressive way of calling them stupids. Gavin apparently is really irritated by them Gumping up the weekend line up. Kelly reminds Gavin that in the Pre-G era of KLLI there was a sheet on the door with weekend line up. Gavin congratulates them on the ratings and we are treated to a little "Ask the Program Director" segment. Jane calls in to ask what will be on before the Everett Newton show and Gavin tells her the best of P and K. Chad asks about the Golf Show and the Motor Men and Gavin says, "sure, they're in there somewhere". A guy calls in to ask about bringing Dan and Tasos' show down to Everett's spot and Gavin says that Dan and Tasos are a late night show and that they're happy there. A guy calls in to complain about Everett's show and Gavin just thinks that everyone is jumping on the Everett hating band wagon. A guy calls in to ask about bringing Franken to LIVE and Gavin explains that Franken's show is not his brand of talk. He thinks shows should be entertaining... OOOOOO BURN!..... Gavin gives a long explanation and Pugs stops paying attention. Rita asks about the possible removal of Lykis and Gavin say that Lykis fits the station. They're number one in their key demo from 7-12 thanks to Lykis and Loveline. Cole asks Gavin if he ever plans on bringing O and A back and Gavin explains that while he is a huge O and A fan, that will probably never happen again. A guy calls in to complain about Don and Mike and Pugs gives Don and Mike his approval. He was listening when he was coming home from the Mavs game and found it entertaining. A girl calls in to ask Gavin why he moved Sybil's news all the way to the end. Pugs explains it's because Gavin hates Sybil. Gavin explains that he doesn't hate Sybil but he pushed her news back because we needed to hear more P and K. A guy asks Gavin to do a biker show. Kelly wants to do a red show. Pugs expresses his desire to have a duck show. Scott calls in to asks Gavin to stop slicing up the Russ rebroadcast. Gavin reminds us that they have to take a four hour show and compress it to three hours. Brawn wants to know what happened with Russ. Gavin assures him that he is going to be on this station and calls Russ one of the meccas of talk talent. Brett asks about what happened to Eddie and Gavin reveals that Eddie resigned VIA E-mail. Jonathan asks if there are any plans for a Dave Little Show and Gavin says "We don't have any future plans for that". Bruce calls in to ask about the FCC affecting the content. Gavin explains that they are just going to keep doing what they're doing.

12:11
*break*
12:24

Last night Pugs watched the Mavs' game and he PVRed a lot of stuff. Pugs heard that Peter Jennings was talking about ecstasy. James E-mailed the show to ask if he was the only guy watching that noticed that they never once warned about the evils of ecstasy. Eric and Pugs found that to be the most interesting news piece they've ever seen. Pugs brings up how the news piece made it seem like ecstasy was made illegal for no real reason. He reminds us that the pratical use of the drug was to get people suffering from post-traumatic syndrome to open up IE. Vietnam/Korean vets... why didn't America vets get any?.... Pugs explains that it breaks down that wall you build and you can speak more freely about your feelings. It helps you move on with your life. Eric explains that the serotonin makes your body tingle all over and it makes you think that you can make mental connections with everyone. Pugs doesn't like it because he likes to live a sheltered life. He doesn't want to wake up the next day unable to recall everything he's said... oh man, everyday is like that for me.... They play a clip from the news cast.. "Some PHD dude talking about what how the problem was that people were using the drug weren't your typical drug users. They wanted to nip it in the ass before it became too big of a problem. The DA is talking now about why they made it illegal. It made people nice to each other... that's it".... Pugs says that this is the guy that doesn't want kids to feel good. By his reasoning, prozac should be illegal. Pugs reminds us that when they made this drug illegal it opened the door for ecstasy driven gangland violence. Brad calls in and he's a dirty degenerate. He's 18 and has done over 50 tabs of X... heh, he sounds like a mess... Eric reminds us that street ecstasy is dirty and not the same as the stuff they had in the 80s. They play another clip... *It's about the Dallas ecstasy scene, a former priest became the king of ecstasy in the 1980s, Dallas was the ecstasy capital of the world. They use to give it out for free but it got so big that they had to sell it. It was the drug of choice for students at SMU" .... Guy calls in to explain that the Stark Club (where the heavy trafficking was going on) was where Area 51 is now. He describes it as "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll" is the best way to describe that scene. When they busted it on the last day, they had 3 inches of drug related stuff on the dance floor. Ronnie claims that the new ecstasy craze started in the mid nineties after they started cutting it with heroin. Pugs reminds us that the "Just Say NO" era was started only because Nancy Regan's daughter was a pot head. Pugs wonders if you should... "axe"... a specialist before you ban something. Pugs thinks that propaganda is propaganda and ABC revealed the propaganda. A guy calls in to say that ecstasy has made him and all of his friends horribly depressed. Kelly wants to know what ecstasy should be used for and Eric explains that it's for post traumatic stress syndrome... They play another clip.. "A girl on Donahue with terminal cancer, it helped her communicate with her family". A cop calls in to say that it is a derivative of an amphetamine and that all amphetamines eventually become illegal. Yvonne calls in to say that the biggest problem was that the doctor tested the wrong drugs and the government ran with it anyway. Ken says that 80s there would be ecstasy flyers on their cars. Kelly believes that anything that was made in a bathtub should be made illegal. Kelly reveals that she has to make up pain to get some pain killers. She understands the use of the drug in conjuntion with the therapy. Tyler calls in to say that the point of the special wasn't to promote the use of ecstasy, it was more about questioning the government. Hillary calls in to say that she was a SMU girl during the SMU ecstasy days. Some guy walked up to her and said, "HEY! TAKE A PILL!"... so she took it! Pugs loves how Hillary is a gamer. She claims that they took it like aspirin and that it was truly the ultimate truth serum... DUMP!!!! Pugs says that Dallas can now be the ecstasy capital. This goes along with Fort Worth being the kiddie porn capital and Plano being the heroin capital... you truly can get it all here in the metroplex... "DFW: you're kids will love it.. move here bitches" I'm going to pitch that to the people that come up with crap like that... whoever they are.

1:07
*break*
1:25

It's a funny gay Pugs production... hehehe. The word of the day giveaway dude is Kenneth with.. TIRES.... Pugs was sitting near some of the nascar guys yesterday at the Mavs' game and noticed that they were middle aged. Kelly wonders how the Asians are doing in nascar and Pugs teaches her that Asians do quite well in motor sports. Pugs reminds us the Asian athletes are invading sports. He points to Yao Ming and Ichiro Suzuki. Devin Lane joins us and Pugs asks her about what happened in Atlanta. Devin explains that a wacky talk show was going to have her talk dirty and they would play it backward. The listeners at home could record it and then play it forward for the message. They were recording it during a commercial break but the mics were on so the Atlanta listening audience got to hear all of the nasty smut. Kelly suggest that Devin use the F-word in her comments to the press about the situation and Devin begins to spout off on the FCC... and she actually sounds smart... an intelligent porn star with a passion for our first amendment rights... I might be in love... Devin, E-mail me at will@pugsandkellylive.com. Devin explains that she started dancing at the age of 18 and sought out a career in porn on her own. She tells us that she had no "suit case pimp". Pugs brags that he learned that word by being around the "industry" and Devin explains to us that a "suit case pimp" is a person that seems like a roadie but he acts as the "manager". She started posing in magazines at 26 and Kelly is happy to discover that they share the same birthday... HIGH FIVES!!!!.... Pugs asks Devin about her relationship status and Devin says that she is too busy for a relationship. Her work with Wicked and her top rated show on Playboy TV take a lot of her time. Devin says a lot of interesting things... she uses a lot of fancy terms... but I can't hear them because I hear the sounds of bells and birdies chirping... *swoon*.... Pugs finds it hot that a smoking beauty like her is so articulate. Chad calls in to ask about her favorite female stars to work with and she says that she loves to work with Sydney Steele. Pugs asks her about Gauge and Devin reveals that she was Gauge's first on camera and off camera woman. www.devinlane.com

1:45
*break*
1:58

Devin sticks around to check out the beautiful girlco models. Pugs tells Devin how pleasantly surprised he is to find that she is so normal. He tells her how Jewel D'Nyle was sharing kitchen tips with Kelly. Pugs takes a shot at Briana Banks. The girlco models join the show and Pugs informs them that Devin is a good role model for them all to have. Boston, Kaylen, Robin, Jolene (who is an Australian). Kelly thinks it's really hip to be Australian now and Devin has "shot over to Perth". Pugs wonders if we should dump that while Boston informs us that Freebirds will be providing burritos for the fashion show tonight. Pugs and Eric are excited because they love the burritos from Freebirds. We also find out that there will be goodie bags for the ladies and Kelly is excited because that is very LA of them. They'll be modeling the deigns of a new designer, Forever 21, and Brazilian cut bikinis. Devin gives her thumbs up on the Brazilian cut bikinis and Pugs reveals that all he thinks about when he hears the word "Brazil" is trannys and MMA fights. Boston plugs her new video thing and describes it as "Wild on E!" meets "Girls Gone Wild". Devin asks her if she owns it and Boston says no. She also asks her about the distribution and Boston doesn't know. DUMP!!!!.... Pugs likes Boston's dark hair (she was a blonde before). He enjoys how flexible she is with her looks. They pull a name for the king of the day thing and its... VINNIE ANDARDE?? ... VINNIE WINS!!!
www.girlcomodels.com

2:15
*break*
2:26

it's grand prize time and... Kyle picks 3... which apparently means that Tony Franco wins... yeah... It's time for Club P and K but first.... ERIC TAKES ANOTHER NASTY BONG HIT!!!! We get reminded of the Show science project when they play a clip of it's previous involvement with the show... check the blog archives.... They added to he mess, Owl Puke (a rat), two week old McDonald's fruit and yogurt thing, a two week old bottle of wine, and supplements.. and Eric is going to huff it. He starts to add everything with his face in his shirt and the smell alone almost makes Sybil lose it. and... oh my god they're all dying. GET THEM OUT OF THERE!!! THE MID DAY SHOW IS DYING!!!! Eric does it.. and Pugs has gone nuts. Eric pukes and Pugs calls him a panty waste.

2:35
*break*
2:42

It's club P & K time and it's hosted by Tantra. Mike is representing Tantra and Pugs says that he tells all of the girls that Mike is gay because they are all in love with him. Johnny Reno is there too. They brought an unnamed large green bottle... it's called a blaster and something from a large brown vanilla bottle. Mike says that they don't like to mix drinks at Tantra because it's too much work. Pugs has the blaster... and likes it. Pugs demands more drinks. Mike has got it on with 5 different girls in a week span and Pugs is mad. Pugs was always the bar tender that would get asked to find out about the hot bar tender. Pugs likes a girl that has two beers and a shot of whiskey. They just gave Pugs the same shot twice. That's Tantra at 1917 Lowest Greenville.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:55*


I HEARD IT DUDE (IHID)

Sybil Giggle - 8
Bell Dings- 14
Buzzer- 2


Comments? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

NOTE!!!! There is much happening in "Casa De Will" so... I will be posting this blog as I get around to finishing each segment.... I'm running doing my thing here at home... then running in and banging out a segment right quick... I shall get done this way. No more losing all of my work right when I post it. ... suckah.


*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:41*

Pugs says that they don't get told anything.. so DON'T CALL IN AND ASK!!!.... They talk to much so everyone keeps them in the dark with what's going on. Pugs didn't have the balls to take pictures of girls last night. He took one of super girl but felt funny. Kelly thought she lost her phone but Tyson had it. Eric describes the event as being "filled with trim"... Kelly is disturbed by Eric's use of that word. The show team sucked. They didn't even push the serious to three games. Pugs blames the team chemistry. Eric was playing in a few other teams and doing bad ass. He was the last one on a team one time and came back to win it by getting four other dudes out. Kent disappeared so Pugs recruited Smith to play. Smith is a bad ass dodgeball player (Smith gets Will's MVP award). When they played Team Friendzy though... he was the first one knocked out in both rounds. Eric points out that he noticed Smith playing for Team Friendzy later that night and Pugs calls Smith a back stabbing ringer. Brian from the Donkey Punchers team calls in to brag on his win last night. Pugs' favorite team name was Jesus Christler Superstar. Kelly is surprised that the Gayz flaked out because they are known for wanting to fling balls around. Pugs brags that they beat the sales team (forfeit). Towards the end of the tournament fans started pointing out to Pugs that people were getting thrown out but sneaking in later. Pugs confronted Francis (head ref) about it and Francis reminded Pugs that he's blind... seriously. Everyone thought that the barb wire fences were really cool but the balls kept getting popped. Balls also were thrown out into the traffic in Beltline... TAKE THAT PSEUDO YUPPIES!.... Jermaine calls in and informs us that Pugs and Kelly don't want to talk to the fans and to just leave them alone... what?.... Pugs and Kelly both clear up that they love talking to the fans and that they're very approachable. Jermain also claims that he is one of two black fans. Pugs and Kelly remind us that they have lots of black listeners... Smith, The Go To Negro Leslie, Arthur.. umm... Kelly had such a good time last night but was really busy. She felt bad that she didn't have time to sit around and cut up with the fans. Jermaine calls the event fun and exciting and a must see. Phyllis calls in and informs us that she is another black listener. Kelly remembers that Headkrack gives them "street cred". Pugs remembers that hottie Valerie from friendzy. Pugs remembers how cave man-esque the Duke's team was. He heard that the Duke's team didn't let any women play. Eric, a member of Jesus Christler Superstar calls in, and Pugs awards him with the best name award. Sybil reminds us that you can register to play for next week by E-mailing her at sybil@pugsandkellylive.com

12:09
*break*
12:25

we discuss whether or not it is OK to ask your significant other who they are talking to on the phone. Kelly says that Tyson asks her but that she doesn't feel it's any of her business to know who he is talking to. This brings us to a Sybil problem. Drago, Sybil's boyfriend, answered his phone and she noticed that his tone changed completely. Pugs interrupts her story to teach all of the ladies how you can score points with him on a date. When you go to the bathroom, leave your phone on the table. This let's him know that you didn't run to the bathroom to check your messages and that you're date with him is more important than some other dude's calls. Kelly leaves her phone on when she is out because she has kids and needs to be updated if there is an emergency. Pugs says that Krysta, Sybil's sister, would have her phone ring off the hook at 2:15 in the morning. Pugs reminds us that at 2:15 AM in Dallas is when the bars close and he gives Krysta credit for not checking her phone... usually. Sybil continues. He went farther and farther away form her and after 8 minutes floated by, she went to look for him. He disappeared with the dog and his cellphone. She found this odd because he normally doesn't take the dog for a walk. She also thought that he might be hiding in the house waiting to ambush her because he does things like that. She called his cellphone over and over but he never answered. She started thinking strange thoughts.. "maybe he's working for the mob and they grabbed him"... "maybe he got abducted by aliens".... She calls him like three more times and he eventually answered. She asked him who he was on the phone with and he says, "nobody". Pugs craps all over that. Pugs says that you must come up with a story in this situation and teaches us that the more elaborate the story the better. She asked him if it was a girl and he admits that it was. She asked if it was an ex-girlfriend and he admits that it was. She guessed if it was Sherrie and he admits that it was. She wondered why he had to leave and his excuse was that he had a lot on his mind and needed to get out for a while. Sybil is confused by this situation.

12:42
*break*
12:55

Greg calls in to say that Drago probably still has feelings for this girl otherwise he wouldn't have left the house. Sybil battles back by informing us that this is an ex-ex-ex-girlfriend, 5 years ago, and if if didn't work then...why would it work now? Cory calls in to suggest that Sybil go through his call log record. Sybil would never do that because that is "crazy girlfriend" behavior. Sybil reminds us that there is no crime for speaking to an ex. Pugs claims that if he was in Drago's shoes he would have made it a point to answer the phone near Sybil just so that she would know that nothing was going on. Paul calls in to tell Sybil that sometimes you just have to trust. Pugs wonders when trust becomes naivety. Pugs reminds us that he's been burned so much here in Dallas that he has developed some real trust issues that may be affecting his current relationship. Kelly thinks that sometimes you don't want to believe something even though it's staring you dead in the face. Pugs tells us that a guy can be in love with his home life and still want some "strange". Kelly quotes the wise Dr. Drew (who I'm convinced she is in love with).... "If you suspect something is going on... then something probably is...".... Sybil just wants to know why he needed the privacy. Kelly doesn't think an ex-girlfriend is allowed to call an ex-boyfriend when she comes back into town when he has a girlfriend. Susanna wants to know what Sybil plans on doing if Sybil finds out he's cheating. Sybil states that she will leave a cheater in a blink of the eye. Krysta, super duper sister of the super duper producer Sybil, calls in to say that Drago wouldn't have been stupid enough to answer the phone if something "extra" was going on. Kelly reminds Krysta that guys are stupid when it comes to affairs and Krysta admits that she is right. Pugs points out how shadey it was when Drago said that "nobody" was on the phone and Krysta admits that was weak... yeah.... Pugs would like to inform girls that it is a nice gesture to ask him who it is when he gets a call. It makes him think that you care.

1:27
*break*
1:45

Kelly has received an E-mail from one of the members of "Jesus Christler Supercar". He is asking if he can be a special dodgeball correspondent for the show. He loses Pugs' vote when he calls himself good looking and Pugs reminds us that they really don't need somebody to do that... beside, they have a perfectly fine... and funny, blog writer right here to run around and ask obscene questions.... Brett E-mails to thank the show for bringing the best damn sport ever to Dallas. We get an E-mail from a woman saying that she won't play next week and that he husband was leaving her over dodgeball. Kelly reminds us that Oprah says "when you're fighting over the clothes on the floor... you're not really fighting about the clothes on the floor...." We get an E-mail from Shannon who thinks that Drago was planning on getting engaged to Sybil and that he was talking to his ex to get her help.... Pugs would like to date a girl with that type of naivety. Orville calls in with the word of the day giveaway word of the day thing... PRESSURE!!!! ORVILLE WINS!!! Yo, Henry Cho joins the show... I'm a big fan of his work in Revenge of the Nerd 3.... Kelly says that Henry is so funny, you don't miss the swears. Henry brags that he hasn't cursed on stage for 18 years. Pugs notices the strange flirtation that occurs between Kelly and Henry. Sybil reminds us of the time that Kelly scrambled to put on makeup when she heard that Henry was coming to the studio. Henry informs us that ABC has picked up his show. He describes it as "Andy Griffith" meets "The Cosby Show". He lets us know that the name of the show is "The Henry Cho Show" and Kelly thinks that is good because then you can't replace him. Henry brings up how Dave Little use to date Ellen Degeneres and Pugs is outraged that Dave has never once brought that up. He demands to get Dave on the phone while Sybil scramble to do his bidding. Dave is MIA and Pugs takes the time to call Ellen the funniest female stand up comic. Dave is now on the phone and Pugs asks him if he remembers the horrible chemistry from yesterday's show. Dave reminds Pugs that the show was YESTERDAY so of course he remembers. Dave claims that he never dated Ellen and Henry tells him to fess up. Pugs tells him that he should sell this as part of his act and Dave asks if he can hang up and try this all again. Dave admits that he dated Paula Poundstone and that he never kissed her. He claims that his relationship with Ellen was purely friendly and Pugs thinks that maybe his relationships fail because he dates lesbians. A guy calls in to ask Henry about Bill Hicks. Henry says that he use to work with Bill a lot and they were as different as night and day. They got along great though. He tells us a story of Bill HIcks breaking pictures of comics he thought he was funnier than at a comedy store. www.henrycho.org

2:11
*break*
2:26


Pugs is going to a Mavs' game tonight so... HERE IS A JAMES MAVS THEME!!!! Pugs finds the hook catchy and Sybil is doing the penguin dance. Pugs reminds us that he is suing Mark Cuban but that he doesn't really want to. Pugs is going because his buddy Kurt is in town and he's tired of taking him to appearances where his fans gush over him.. Kurt refuses to call Pugs "Pugs".... Pugs originally bought the tickets for him and Super Girl but since Kurt is in town he's taking him instead. Pugs wants to talk about Paul Horny, Notre Dame football legend. Paul Horny just apologized for his statements on a sports talk show.... "Notre Dame must ease up on academics because we need the black athlete".... Kelly reminds us that Notre Dame has black people. Pugs tells us that Notre Dame's football program has a higher expectation that other programs. Pugs wonders if that is a racist comment because it has always been proven that the better athletes come from poorer backgrounds. He reminds us of the Jews in boxing and the early days of basketball... that's all he can remembers. Kelly reminds Pugs that Horny *snicker* didn't say poor, he said black. Pugs doesn't think he says was racist just said in a poor way. Traditionally minorities have embraced athletics as a way out because they don't get the same opportunities as white people. Leslie, the P and K go to negro, calls in to say that it might be a true statement but it is still a racist comment. He may not realize he was being racist but he was. She says that older men in the south say a lot of comments similar to that and they don't really mean to be hateful about it. It was worded poorly but she reminds us that he is just old school.

2:44
*break*
2:55

SYBIL GIGGLE JAM (REMIX) Pugs loves it.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. Joseph Francis, the man who created Girl Gone Wild, has been accused of drugging and raping a girl.
Pugs reminds us that any firl that give the time of day to the "Girls Gone Wild" guy is a probably also a lying skank.

2. A manager of a pharmacy in Pittsburgh made duplicates of all the sexual pictures that get developed at the store. A woman was going through his personal album and saw herself in a picture.
Pugs teaches us that this is the reason why everyone needs the new Sprint Camera Phone.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:59*



I HEARD IT DUDE (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 60
Bell DIngs- 4
Buzzer- 8


COMMENTS???? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

Just got back from tea greatest damn event in the world. DODGEBALL IS A BAD MOTHER... shut yo mouth... hey I'm just talking about dodgeball... (who was I just talking to?) If you aren't planning on going out to watch Dodgeball every Wednesday then you are stupid... or dumb... and probably ugly... don't be a stupid dumb ugly.

Team Pugs and Kelly had a valiant run but in the end, they were defeated by non other than the Friendzy team (who did quite well actually). OK, so maybe they got stomped in to bits but they looked damn fine doing it in their official Pugs and Kelly Dodgeball team jerseys.

There were many that participated. Some tasted the sweet nectar of victory.. The others, the putrid urine of defeat.

Congratulations to tonight's big winners....

THE DONKEY PUNCHERS!!!!!

Donkey Punchers,

You have shown the world that slightly intoxicated ball flingers can triumph over other slightly intoxicated ball flingers.





I had pictures of Dodgeball but I can't put them into my 250free account... so, when they fix their end I'll post them in here.


FROM 250 FREE (I felt the need to post this for whatever reason)
March 31st - 1:15 p.m.
The 250Free server has encountered a major error. We are working diligently to bring services back online as soon as possible. Please refer to this page for the latest status reports. We will keep you informed of major progress. Thank you very much for your patience.

Brian Salisbury
250Free.com

*"El Distorto de melodica" @ 11:18*

We're live from Duke's Original Road house and it's... DRUNKEN LIVE REMOTE DAY!!!! Oh and that Dodgeball thing is happening later tonight too. Pugs and Kelly say they aren't going to drink today.... aw man. They are taking Dodgeball very seriously and drinking will affect their game. Pugs is going o buy shoes after the show and Kelly needs to buy shorts. Pugs wants to buy pants because he thinks he's going to be "Johnny Dodgeball" diving all over the place. The Official Pugs and Kelly Awesome Show Team (OPAKAST) roster is as follows, Pugs, Kelly, James, Eric, Cody, and Kent... or as I like to call them Team PK-jeck. Pugs assures us that the show team will suck. Kelly reminds him that Cody is really thin and should do well. She claims that if you turn him sideways he'll disappear... Cody, I demand to know how you do this trick, show me you bastard.... Pugs compares him to a feminine string. Kelly still remembers everyone that hit her two years ago and has a deep seeded grudge... Dan Dan the Dish Direct Man.... They think that they might be able to improve from the previous tournament. Paco was playing with a cigarette while looking very much like Charlie Brown and Bobby dressed in his fancy dancing clothes while he played. Pugs would like to have an exhibition grudge match with Fitz and his team and Kelly wonders who would watch her kids then (Shemp produces Fitz's show). Pugs knows that Fitz won't show up though because he's as reliable as a group of strippers. Pugs has taken notice to all of the dodgeball references on TV lately and he would like to remind everyone that they were the ones that started it. Kelly expresses her disdain for crab soccer and Pugs always hated the stupid parachute thing. They discuss how loserish square dancing and the rope climbing is and Pugs thinks it was just the coaches way to look up your shorts while you were up there. Kelly wonders if Pugs means her or him and Pugs stays creepily silent.

11:30
*break*
11:39

ANOTHER BAD ASS JAMES PSA ON DODGEBALL... yeah... YEAH! Kelly is all alone.. She is exited by her new phones and she reminds us that Pugs and Kelly aren't technologically savvy. Kelly wants to figure out who to assign the ringer "Hey Ya" to. Pugs is back now and he shares that he was up all night last night downloading ring tones. He remembers mocking the idea of a camera phone... "It's a toaster and a phone... it's a toothbrush and a cellphone!".... Kelly thought it was a good idea only after she saw the commercial with the chick using it to get opinions on stuff while shopping. Pugs claims to have taken 100 pictures since getting his phone yesterday. Pugs questions the creep factor and the legality of taking pictures of hot chicks. Kelly finds it a bit creepy but doesn't find the picture taking as creepy as the idea of it being posted on the internet. Pugs knows that perverts do this but also realizes that every guy wants to do this. Kelly has been at bars before when a guy will just walk up, take a picture, walk away, and not say anything and she finds that very scary. Daniel calls in to say that you can't take a camera into a strip joint.. dude, turn your radio down.. haha, he says that he was trying to listen to himself, stupid ass.... Pugs wants to test out how fast he gets thrown out of a strip joint for taking a picture. Kelly remembers that they use to rip your film out at a concert and wonders how they can do that to your phone. Jay calls in to say that all you have to do is ask a girl to take a picture and Kelly calls that "turning lemons into lemonade". She explains that would make a different pick up line to use and that is ultra-flattering. Leslie calls in and shares that her concern is the pedophiles in teh park with these phones. Pugs reminds us that pedophiles have been going to parks with handycams for years. Pugs wants to install a DVR in his phone because if his dog does something cute, he can go back in time and get it.

11:55
*break*
12:02

BE HERE AT 6 TO REGISTER... ARGH! Kelly wants to amend her "not drinking" clause because she sees everyone with beer and margaritas. Pugs points out how easy it is for some people to avoid the temptation of alcohol while on the job. Dr. Schwartz is there but he's not drinking. Pugs thinks it's good to hear that your plastic surgeon is out getting drunk at noon. Kelly likes how you can "hide" numbers on her new cellphone. A guy calls in to tell us that the Lodge fines you 5 grand for taking pictures at the club and Kelly wonders if the stripper police are the ones that fine you. Crystal calls in to say that when she waitresses, guys take pictures of her butt. Pugs knows that the stimulation is the voyeurism aspect and Kelly thinks that's fine. She doesn't think it hurts her as long as she doesn't know about it. A cop calls in to clarify the picture taking laws. It is a felony to take a picture at a strip club and taking a pictures/media of a unknowing person with intent to arouse or gratify is against the law. Kelly points out that you can't prove intent. Chris, who sounds really creepy, calls in to say that girls love to take pictures with his phone and he also brags that he has the same phone as everyone on the show... bragger.... Valerie calls in.. is this that cutie Valerie from friendzy?... to say that she was in a club on Saturday and ended up on a lot of camera phones. She doesn't find nay problem with it. Pugs calls Duke's a "beaver ranch" and he really wants to take pictures of hot chicks tonight. A federal lawyer calls in to say that there are no intent laws in Texas. He says that it is all legal as long as there is no audio.

12:22
*break*
12:31

James PSA on dodgeball. Kelly wonders who is going to throw the opening day ball. Pugs wants to know why NBC doesn't pump millions into a dodgebal league. Kelly wonders what kind of messed up kind of kid James was because he had Vietnam flashbacks. Bill Depue is on the phone. He is the official "go to guy" for dodgeball. In the last three years since we last spoke with Bill, dodgeball has blown up. He says that the producers of the upcoming Dodgeball movie consulted with him. The Game Show Network is going to air a reality Dodgeball show. Bill says that it takes a special combination of people to make a good Dodgeball team. He teaches us that we should put the catchers in front and the throwers in back. The catchers will protect the guys with the good arms. Pugs points out that he and Eric are being mocked for coming up with Dodgeball stragety. Bill thinks you should never give up al of your balls and that you should pick out your targets. He also tells us that faking your throw is a good weapon. Kelly is amused that the Dodgeball headquarters is in her hometown of Shaumberg, Illinois. Bill runs down the rules of Dodgeball... *OFF THE NADA WEBSITE*
THE TEAM

Teams will be made up of 6-10 players. A minimum of 6 players will compete on a side; others will be available as substitutes. Substitutes may enter the game only during timeouts or in the case of injury.



THE FIELD

The game may be played indoors or outdoors. The playing field shall be a rectangle at least 50 ft long and at least 30 ft wide, divided into two (2) equal sections by a center boundary line.



THE EQUIPMENT

The official ball used in tournament and league play will be an 8" rubber-coated foam ball. Participants must wear shoes. No metal cleats will be allowed.



THE GAME

The object of the game is to eliminate all opposing players by getting them "OUT". This may be done by:

1. Hitting an opposing player with a thrown ball below the shoulders.
2. Catching a ball thrown by your opponent before it touches the ground.

Pugs keeps calling him Bill "Dapoo". He also brags abut how professional looking the courts at Dukes looks but he is a little taken back by the small dimensions of the courts. Bill says that they have found that the action is more intense with smaller courts. Kelly compares the evolution of Dodgeball to the weird Scottish guys that came up with golf. dodgeballusa.com

12:55
*break*
1:11

The pit pass word of the day is... filtered, TONY WINS!!! Steve Noviela from Fox 4 is here... TV cameras too... Sybil and Kelly are going to test the grapefruit diet pill. It's 6 pills a day, a 1500 calorie diet, and exercise for a month. Pugs is disgusted by grapefruit. Kelly and Sybil are going to be weighed and they are frightened. They have threatened Steve so that he won't reveal their weight. Pugs is going to predict their weight and Kelly convinces him that it isn't a good idea to do that. Pugs finds it ridiculous that Kelly and Sybil are so hung up on their body image when they both look OK... This blog writer finds both of you ladies beautiful.... Kelly confesses that she sets her scale 4 pounds ahead so that it makes her feel better. They all discuss some math and stuff... and my head hurts.. ouch.

1:22
*break*
1:31

The dodgeball courts are lined with barb wire and Pugs finds that quite menacing. Pugs still doesn't understand why Sybil is so scared by the idea of people finding out how much she weighs. He also wants to know why Sybil is so into losing weight and Sybil tells him that she wants to be the weight she was in high school. but she admits that she was a few "inches" smaller.. which I think means her boobs were smaller. Pugs points out that Sybil is shapely and guys like that. They argue over the name game because apparently Pugs came damn close to offending. Kelly hates Steve's scale because it's a liar. Tonight's "Deal or Dud" segment is to see if those Easter egg making kits actually make what the box displays. Pugs says, "NO WAY!".... so that is that.... They talk about infomercial and that Billy Mays guy. Pugs finds it funny that Billy Mays introduces himself in informercials as if he was a celebrity and Kelly compares that to Cody doing that. Kelly believes that the infomercial guys would be into the legalization of weed because only pot heads buy all of that crap. Pugs proclaims his love for the greatest infomercial product of all time... the George Foreman grill (if I had a bell button I'd push it forty-five times) He claims that he pours the fat from his chicken onto his meal.

1:45
*break*
1:56

We're still at Dukes! Dave Little is back from his exile. He was working with another station for a little bit but now he's... back home... or rather, he got fired from there. Pugs points out that is what happens when you go toe to toe with this bad ass mid day show... BOOYA! Dave brags that he got to be on the air everyday and he got his own office. After three weeks of being on he air they wanted to move them to 6-9 PM. AM stations lose a lot of power at night and that means you were going to have to struggle to listen. Dave says that the dude that fired him said that they said something that was uncool so they got canned. Sybil reminds Pugs how he got fired.... Pugs spent all day with his father in-law on Father's day and when he came home he had 15 messages from his program director. He kept saying (in a surfer voice) that he would see a story in the paper the next day but that it wasn't true. In the morning Pugs went to the store to pick up a paper and starts to drive into work. He looks down and notices the headline, "Mancow to Q101, morning show out." As a member of the Q101 morning show, Pugs found this troubling. Sure enough, he was fired. Kelly attempts to cheer up Dave by telling him that at least they weren't on the air long enough to get a story in the paper. So, Dave is back to doing radio for free. Dave wants to give a shout out to his good buddy Gavin. Dave calls himself the funny target in dodgeball... you know, the one that fell over and cried. Pugs wants to know if Dave cried if he got fired. He admits that he was upset but he internalized his anger so much that he made his kidneys hurt.

2:12
*break*
2:18

they still love their phones and Pugs just found out that they also have walkie talkies on them... ITS A SUPER PHONE!!!! Pugs asks Dave if unemployed people have cell phones and David brags that he has a land line. Pugs gets a Brittany magazine and Dave wonders if it has any gummy bear recipes.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!!!!

1. An 88 year old old dude guy that was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor rented a plane and plummeted to his death. <---- I thought Sybil was way too chipper while reading this story.
Sybil asks what P and K are planning to do for their 88 birthday. Kelly reminds her of their plan to form a heroin addiction at the age of 70. Dave wonders how hard the pilot must have tried to stop him... I mean, he's 88 for god's sake. Pugs salutes that old guy for going out with a bang.

2. A master brewer in brazil sued his company for making him an alchoholic. he was drinking 8 litres of beer a day. He won 32 million dollars and still recieves his pension package from the company. The company fought back but was forced to give him an additional 2 million.
Kelly wants to know what 8 litres is in American. She expresses her great fear of this country confirming to the metric bandwagon... "IT STARTS WITH LITRES!!! AND THEN ITS KILOMETERS, AND THEN CENTIMETERS.... AND THEN IT'S CRACK!.... Pugs knows that Eric deals a lot ith grams and ounces and Eric teaches us that an ounce is 28 grams. Pugs points out that this is the worse radio ever.

3. Man (named Shannon)... in Jacksonville, Florida was severly burned by a firework that he intended to harm his girlfriend with.
Pugs calls all males named Shannon scumbags. Dave wonders if they were arguing over the metric system.

4. A Colorado woman had a basement that her husband kept locked for 5 years. she opened it and found 42 marijuana plants and called the cops on him...
NARC BITCH!

5. Nebraska couple bought a house that had a room that was a safe. They used it as a nusery for their 14 month baby. It locked and the lock smith had to guess the combnation.
Kelly wonders why they didn't know the combination to the lock.

6. Micheal and Janet have been voted the most foolish Americans in the world.

2:33
*break*
2:42

Eric gets scolded.

7. Peter Jackson is remaking King Kong.
Pugs is excited by this.

8. There is a rumor that Pamela and Tommy Lee are back together.
Pugs calls them the white trash version of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.

9. Jason Patrick was in Austin... hahaha drunk... hahaha... got in trouble with the cops... hahaha.. dash board camera.... hahahaha.... I hate Jason Patrick.

10. Jay Leno just signed on for more years and a ot of money.

11. Drea DeMateo has just signed on to play Joey's sister in his new show.
Pugs reminds us taht they covered this on Monday.

12. Alanis Morressette is ordained minister so that she can marry her gay friends.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:56*

I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 91
Bell Dings- 8
Buzzer- 5


comments? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:39*

Everyone is excited about dodgeball... GREATEST SPORT EVER.... Pugs needs more Sinata because he has taken too many. He is down to four and admits that last night he was on Sinata and couldn't sleep. He found himself drinking wine and trying on clothes. Kelly is amazed by Pugs admission of his personal drug-induced-drunkard fashion show and confesses that she does the same thing when she is on Ambien. Kelly doesn't have a full mirror though and has to stand on the bath tub to see her whole body in the mirror. She doesn't remember how many times she's fallen into the tub doing this. Pugs claims that he was drinking the wine in preparation to the wine guy they're having on later today so that he can't trick him with sprite. Pugs and Kelly admit to not being classy enough to know a lot about wine. Kelly found a wine she really enjoyed at an event but she got so drunk that she forgot the name of it. Pugs and Kelly still can't open a bottle of wine. Kelly reveals that she drinks on a milk crate surrounded by cigarette butts. They tease what's coming up on today's show.. wine, word of the day giveaway, Average Joe talk, An E-mail from a listener that can't get laid and wants an escort, and Hiedi Fleiss movie talk. Pugs points out how easy the movie made it seem for Heidi to get typically "good" girls to be whores. Kelly wonders how much per trick and Eric quickly jumps in with $1500. Kelly thinks that is priced pretty high but remembers that California has a lot of inflation. Kelly says that if you're a girl that had 52 "dates" at $1000 per date, you'd be able to make $52,000 and you can pay for school.

11:51
*break*
12:03

They all have new phones from Sprint that take videos and pictures. Pugs and Kelly are really excited by the new phones. Kelly has renamed herself Madam Technology because she has a new video/camera phone and the I-Pod. Eric and Sybil have a bet going on as to when Pugs and Kelly, who get easily frustrated by gadgets, would go crazy. The over/under was before the second segment. They also brag that now it's going to be easy for them to publish pictures to the site... braggers.... Well, my phone has a screw in it and...it cracked and falling apart... damn, I suck.... Pugs has an E-mail from a chick that is upset that Pugs and Kelly told all of Dallas that if you get breast implants you can't catch breast cancer. She invites Pugs to come out to the breast cancer survivor group and she wants Pugs to inform everyone that he was wrong. Pugs reminds us that it was an obvious joke and Kelly warns us that you should never take health advice from this show. Pugs reads an e-mail from a guy that just go girl for three years. She wanted to.. *sigh*... wait till marriage... *snicker*.... Pugs doesn't believe you should marry somebody unless you've slept with them because you should know if you're marrying into bad sex. Kelly thinks that bad sex is trainable but Pugs disagrees. Kelly and Sybil have discussed that they have never kissed somebody they were attracted to and lost interest in them afterward however, they have been kissed by people they weren't attracted to and have found themselves suddenly attracted... so that's the secret, I'll just have to try to shove my tongue down their throats.... The e-mailer calls himself too much of a gentlemen to try to get a one night stand and Pugs calls that a cop out by a guy that is socially timid. The E-mailer admits to cruising eros.com for escorts but is wondering if that is OK. He also wants to know if anybody has actually used it (he fears that the girls won't look like their picture). Pugs answers this two part question 1. It's OK 2. No... he hasn't. Eric says that you can't trust the pictures but quickly admits that he is talking out of his ass... interesting trick.... Pugs reminds us that he uses the site to scope out trannys and he asks Sybil why they hadn't had any trannys in the studio like he wanted. Sybil informs him that transsexual prostitutes don't like publicity. A caller claims that if the picture on the site says "ACTUAL PHOTO" then it is the real deal. Kelly questions the integrity of whores on the site. Charles calls in to admit that he had a whore and it made him feel weird. Kelly tells us how she wants to buy a hooker that will make her eggs while Pugs searches for prices. He finds that Kerrigan is offering a March Special from 10 AM- 4 PM for In-calls only. We get taught that an In-call is when you come to them and an Out-call is when they come to you. Pugs wants us to take advantage of this special because gas prices are rising. Mark calls in to ask if it's acceptable for a group of guys to share one whore. They are all disgusted by this scumbag. Jim calls in to give us the pricing on Dallas hookers, $300 for straight sex and for "various types" it's 500. Kelly wonders how much it would cost to just watch. Eric points to Amsterdam as the example of how the world should treat prostitution and Kelly demands to know what has Amsterdam ever done for the world. Ashley wants to know why he doesn't just pick up a girl from the bar and Pugs reminds her that it isn't that easy to bring a girl home. Kelly doesn't see the difference in sex with a stranger and... masturbation... are you serious?... come on... no way... what?

12:30
*break*
12:42

It's another funny James dodgeball PSA... hehe.... It's serious stuff. More whore talk! Paul calls in to reminds us that it only takes one prostitute to ruin your reputation and send you to jail. Pugs has weighed out the pros and cons of bringing prostitutes to your house and going to them. He thinks it would be better to have them come to you but Kelly thinks they would just have their pimp come and rob you. Pugs doesn't believe a prostitute would do that because it's way too elaborate of a plan. Kelly says that if they were to get busted with a hooker it would be in the paper and Pugs doesn't think it would be that big a deal for them to get busted because they are in THIS business. Kelly tries to remind Pugs that when they got hired they had to sign a lot of paper work and give a complete background check... Pugs doesn't remember this at all.... Kelly says that everyone that runs a background check on you in the future would laugh at you behind your back for buying a prostitute. A guy calls in to say that he brought a stripper home and while she was banging him, her boyfriend robbed his house. Pugs doesn't want shadey people to know where he lives.. like Kelly. Kelly doesn't want to marry a trick and Pugs doesn't want to marry a whore. They play a clip from the Heidi Fleiss movie... *really bad acting... she asks some chick if she wants to party with Billy Idol... more picking up college girls to be whores... really bad acting* Kelly wonders if the acting was as bad as it sounded and Pugs confirms that it was. Pugs is shocked and a little excited at how easily Heidi got good girls to become so bad.


OH MAN... I"m going to be in trouble... OH MAN... Pugs is going to put me in the dark room with the bad man again... oh man... oh man... oh man... oh man...





oh man...






this is so bad.


I lost the tape of the rest of the show. I record the parts of the show that I miss while I'm in class... and I lost it. I'm in so much trouble. Kelly is going to beat me with the spoon again while Sybil and Eric mock me.



OH MAN!



When I find the tape I'll finish the rest of this one.



oh man.

OK FOLKS!

I'm back in the saddle again and I'm blogging my little young heart out for all of you. I'm working with a slight delay here, I'm balancing school, this blog, and trying to discover life after my great loss... if you didn't read about it, then too bad... So, bare(hehehe naked) with me. If you are patient with me, I promise to bring to you a very special edition of the blog once I'm completely caught up with everything.

Thank you to all of you that have E-mailed me with support. Thank you for reading.. and thank you.. for umm, oh yeah, listening. I would like to send a very special "thank you" to Pugs' mom. I have determined that she is the sweetest person in the world and he kind words have really lifted me up out of a funk I was in. Thank you.

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:09*

Pugs feels bad because he didn't call Kelly on her birthday but Kelly reminds him that she didn't want attention on that dreadful day. Dr. Schwartz gave an I-pod to Kelly for her birthday and Pugs points out that she doesn't deserve one. Pugs says that if Dr. Shwartz perfects the penis enlargement he'll take the.. TRI-POD... HELLO!.... Kelly stresses about her birthday because she reflects about how she isn't happy in her personal and business life. Pugs points out that she is now closer to 70 than she is her birth... "so how do you like them apples? Granny... Smith?" Kelly has to decide if she wants more kids. Pugs thinks the key is that you need money to have a kid at an older age. Kelly has Declan on a secret diet and exercise program because he is forming the potential to become a Fatty Mcfatfat. Kelly always thought she would have three kids but she thinks it's going to take some time and planning to make that happen. Kelly explained to Tyson how people have babies. Kelly doesn't know if it's a good idea to have kids without being married. Kelly needs to find some unknown gay guy to donate to her. Kelly wants her body to be OK after another kid because she is happy with her body the way it is. Tyson told her that he heard that it's after the third baby that you gain and not lose the weight. Pugs says that if Kelly gets pregnant now, she'll have a kid in a year (cause pregnancy last for 12 months) and the kid will grow up pretty much as an only child. Declan is way too old and Pugs says that by the time Kelly has a kid McKenna will be 6. Pugs reminds Kelly that when McKenna is 12 she won't appreciate mommy for having a four year old run around. Kelly wonders if technology has gotten to the point to where she can just have twins. Kelly likes to think that all of her bad times are behind her and Pugs warns that she'll find a lump one day. Kelly reminds Pugs that she has fake breast and Pugs teaches all of Dallas that if you get breast implants, you won't catch the cancer. Pugs thinks that the oldest a person should be to have a kid is 40-45. A caller says that if Kelly has twins it'll be those weird-creepy evil twins from "The Great Outdoors". Pugs teases that it'll be those twins that can communicate without speaking. The caller reminds her that her kids see dead people now and it'll get worse with twins. Pugs likes twins but finds them a bit strange. Pugs' friend Kurt was 17 when his sister was born. Kurt always had to drive mom to the hospital and when the kid was born he became the live in babysister. Kelly points out that Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston are older and pooping out kids but Pugs doesn't think Kelly should compare with celebrities because they don't have any rules. Dave calls in to say that he has 2 reasons why Kelly shouldn't have another kid. (1) She is past the age of 32 and you don't want to go to a high school graduation over 50. (2) She can't have 4 kids because she is too close to being trailer trash now and more kids would solidify her place in the white trash hall of fame. Bill calls in to say that women over 40 are too old because that is the age where they should be grand parents... good god man, only down here in the south will you find that kind of backward retarded thinking.... Pugs asks Eric how old he is and Eric answers with 26. Pugs doesn't think it matters though because when you hit 30 everyone in their 20s just blend together. Eric wants to adopt kids and Pugs finds that gross. Eric doesn't see what how his genetics are going to benefit society. Pugs thinks Eric is going to get some "third world freak baby" and not a good one. Kelly thinks Eric has to get a retard kid. Pugs says that Eric is lucky if he gets a Eastern block kid. Pugs would like a European baby if he adopts because he would like to pretend it's his. He doesn't want a Cambodian because he can avoid that awkward conversation with the kid. Pugs promises that he'll have three or four of his own kids and then when he gets bored he'll adopt some little combating kid. Kelly wants to get the show to adopt one of those kids from the Christian Funds people. Pugs wants to start a disciplinary relationship with the kid and then just cut him off after he bores him.

Dear Chan,

It has come to my attention that you are not doing your chores and the Oxen are going unmilked. It is for this reason, that you will no longer receive any communication from your mother and I. You will never know the glory of the great nation of the United States of America. Live in your hell hole and endure years and years of civil war.

sincerely your former American parents (you blew it kid)

Pugs and Kelly

PS. Jesus loves you.

Alisha calls in to say that her grandmother had her aunt at 55 and they were so embarrassed that they told the older kids that they went to Florida to adopt her. Pugs finds it hilarious that someone told a kid that they were adopted when they weren't. Pugs teaches us that John Lennon's hoe of a mother had him at a young age and that his aunt raised him. He grew up thinking his mom was his sister. Pugs tells us that the first man his mom ever kissed was a guy named Johnny McDades (?). McDades was a chain of Dimestore convience stores IE Woolworth's. The McDades adopted this Irish kid to have him do slave labor. Leslie, the go to negro, calls in to ask if Pugs would ever marry a black woman because made the comment that he wants his kids to look like him. Pugs says that would be different because that would be his but he wouldn't adopt a black, Asian, Arab kid because they don't look like him. Leslie's husband deals with that because he's a white guy with black kids. She points out that her husband looks like Pugs only stretched out. Pugs thinks it's tough for a kid to not look like their parents. Kelly thinks that if Pugs adopts a black kid, he could make any racist joke he wants. Shanna, who is a birth mom, calls out the show for calling adoption gross. Pugs and Kelly both deny calling it gross but Kelly realizes they may have just forgotten about it... scroll up guys.... Kelly would like to tell all the single people that if you don't want your kids, there are plenty of places all over Dallas where you can drop them off, no questions asked. Pugs reveals that he wanted to be a "big brother" to a 16 year old because he wants one that can drive him around.

11:40
*break*
11:55

FUNNIEST DAMN PSA ON DODGEBALL EVER! (James kicks ass)

We're 2 days away from Dodgeball and Kelly admits that she forgot to get balls to train with. Pugs wonders why Tyson has no balls. Fitz and his crew are being loud out in the hallway. Kelly would like tell everyone that Dodgeball is a great chance to hook up with people. All of the losers are at the bars on a weekday at 9PM and people are dodgeball are active gamers that are interested in new things. Kelly would also like to remind the girls that dudes like sporty girls. Pugs and Kelly would like to have everyone there earlier than 7 because they need to get everyone situated. The show team is as follows... Pugs, Kelly, Eric, Cody, and Kent.. they have one spot open. Pugs determines that since Eric is the fastest and since Cody is the longest, they should be the wingmen. He wants them to grab the balls first and fire at the guys in the middle. If the wingmen on the other team have no balls then they are negated. Kelly wants a personal dodgeball trainer and Pugs doesn't think anybody like that exist. Outside Location Producer (OLP) James calls in and wants to be on the show team. Pugs remembers that James was pretty good so he agrees. Kelly tells James that he can't smoke during the game and James is a little upset with that. They finally agree that if they win, he can smoke. Pugs teases the race car contest word of a day give away thing... DON"T CALL NOW!.... Valisa?... Valisa calls in and she wants to be the new show trainer. Kelly wants Chuck Norris muscles. Valisa wonders if Kelly would be interested in steroids and Pugs loves the idea of steroids because he's old now and doesn't worry about the physical effects. Kelly asks about the Dodgeball training regimen. Valisa says that she would recommend a lot of cardio and football exercises. She expresses her desire to play dodgeball and Pugs kicks Kent off the team so that she can be on the show team... so that now makes it Pugs, Kelly, Eric, Cody, James, and Valisa... PJ-VECK!.. EVERYONE SCREAM FOR PJ-VECK. If Kent is still playing then I guess you could call it PJ-KECK... I guess.... Kelly invites Valisa to the live broadcast at Dukes on Wednesday. Pugs wants "credentials". Valisa is 5'9" and is 145 lbs. She has real C cup breast (Pugs asked). She's 23... BUT MARRIED! Pugs is outraged. She got married at 20 and Kelly points out that she couldn't even drink at their own reception. He's looking for a job and Pugs gives him the buzzer. She has a baby... another buzzer. She is a seventh day Adventist and Pugs thinks that sounds like one of those crazy churches where you can't drink Pepsi or have Swiss miss.

12:15
*break*
12:27

It's Monday and that means it's Sopranos update time. Pugs is a big fan of the Sopranos and Kelly isn't such a big fan. She has tried to get into it but can't figure out who is who. WHO IS JOHNNY? Pugs explains that Johnny was Carmine's right hand man. WHO IS CARMINE? Pugs explains that Carmine was the head of the New York family that died causing this power struggle amongst Johnny and Little Carmine. WHO IS THE OLD GUY WITH THE WHITE HAIR? Pugs explains that Feech was an old mob guy that got sent to jail and got out. He got sent back to jail after Tony set him up for not respecting him. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WANDERING OLD GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE LARRY DAVID? That was the only story that Kelly was actually following. Pugs explains that Junior is the boss of the family, as far as the FBI knows. Tony is running the show behind Junior so that Junior can take the heat. Kelly has confused everyone. Pugs explains that there is a New York family and a north Jersey family. Since Carmine died, nobody knows who is in charge of the New York mob and there is a power struggle. Little Carmine and Johnny Sacks are duking it out and Tony is sitting back waiting for the fallout. Lorraine, New York capo got whacked because she aligned to Carmine too early in the game. Linda suggest that Kelly rent all of the previous seasons to get hooked. Kelly rented the Karate Kid last week and it took her an entire week to watch it. Kelly is tired of pretending to care about this show. She doesn't know any of these people. They all look Italian and too much alike. Kelly can tell apart a black guy and a white guy and everyone else looks the same to her. Eric and Pugs loved the episode last night. Carmella is kind of dating the headmaster at AJ's school. Pugs loves how this guy represents everyone living in the suburbs that is so blind to the seedy underworld as an urban myth. Brian/Bryan calls in to say that he is just like Kelly. He's tried so hard to "get it" and he's tired of pretending to be cool. He knows his Melrose Place and he likes the mob movies but just can't get into the Sopranos. Pugs reminds us that the Sopranos is a difficult show to follow because there are so many characters and so many plot arches. Kelly doesn't want to work that hard to follow a show on HBO. Kelly wants them to all wear all the same color shirts when they play on the same team. Pugs points out how douchey the boys that Meadow dates. They giggle how she brought a black-jewish dude home to meet dad. Kelly calls Anthony (Tony's son) a dick and Pugs points out how he is being groomed to be a wise guy. Pugs brings up Jackie Aprile and Kelly wonders who the hell is that. Kelly wants to punch Anthony because he's such a screw up. Pugs teaches Kelly that the idea behind the show is sitting back and watching how Tony deals with trying to be a good father and a bad ass mafia don. Pugs would like to ask David Chase for some more violence on the show. He wants more whacking. They discuss how much of a scumbag Anthony JR is... again. A chick calls in to discuss that the previews hint that Christopher is going to get whacked in next weeks show. They showed Bobby, Paulie, Tony, and Silvio but no Christopher in a field. Pugs points out how good of an actor Michael Imperioli is. Shane calls in to say that Christopher's Hummer was in the back but you can't see Christopher. Pugs really hopes that Christopher isn't going to get whacked. Kelly thinks that if Tony would have to kill his nephew they would drag it out over several episodes. Dude calls in to say that it may be a choice that either Christopher or Adriana has to die. Pugs thinks that Adriana has no choice but to die and he finds Drea DeMateo so trashy looking. Pugs points out how Silvio is sniffing out Adriana now. Pugs explains that Silvio is a bad ass that's Tony's right hand man. He is the most loyal in the family. Silvio is Tony's counsel.

1:05
*break*
1:20

ANOTHER FUNNY JAMES PSA ON DODGEBALL!... SUCKAH!

Pugs like to call themselves the least gullible mid day show... but right now, it's time for the word of the day give away. Paul calls in with "chassis". They play a tape of the Bill Shultz interview on gancing.... *Caller points out that Stuff Magazine is well known for pulling April Fool's jokes*... Kelly reads about how it was revealed to be a hoax and how Bill got "morning zoo radio shows" to call it. Kelly wonders witch part is made up because Eric gances. FOR THE RECORD.... the show didn't fall buy it and Bill gives them props for that. He admits that he was at a club throwing imaginary poop to the song "shock the monkey". Kelly points out that the Eric must be a trend setter then. VH-1 called Bill because they wanted to use gancing" as a word of the day but they found out it was a hoax and refuse to return his calls. Bill teases that the next issue of Stuff will have bikini chicks, gear, and beer. Stuff is rewriting the rules on men's magazines. Kelly asks if Bill is for or against people brewing their own beer. Bill feels that it might be OK for countries that aren't America. Bill googled searched the term "gancing" and found message boards where heated arguments were taking place over it. Pugs asks about Dawn Yanek and Bill says that a big pole.. *hehehehe* is separating them. Pugs wants to know if she's as wild as she seems... Bill says... DUMP THAT!

1:39
*break*
1:53


It's the weekend debris line time and Eric gives this weeks a 7/8. Pugs scolds Eric so he gives it a 10.... *chick says she hates Kelly. Kelly lets her know "I hate you bitch". This guy keeps calling bitching about his soon to be ex-wife Amy and that boyfriend of her's Adrian*.. Pugs receives an E-mail from a bisexual chick asking him about his thoughts on the Brittany concert. HE FORGOT! Kelly says that her older brother Tommy was disturbed by Brittany and her dancers touching themselves on stage. Kelly reminds us that Brittany has a 13 year old girl fan base and that isn't proper behavior to display. Pugs reads a story about how Brittany is trying to be shocking now. Kelly thinks that if Brittany wants to be more adult then she needs to stop targeting her music to kids.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. In Cambodia, a man cut off his penis because he was visited by spirits and had nothing to offer them to eat. He waved his penis at them in defiance.. Um OK.
Kelly doesn't think that Cambodia could possibly have good hospitals and Pugs believes that it is probably the equivilent of going to a Walgreen's for medical attention.

2. In West Covina, California... a manager of a Hooters was interviewing girls for a new location. He was having them change in a trailer and he was recording girls while they changed. Two of the girls complained that they thought they were being video taped. After a search, police found a stock pile of videos and Polaroid shots.
Pugs tells all the junior film makers out there that you should use a hidden camera. Go to a spy shop and get a clock with a camera built in it. You can't take a handy cam and obscure it from view. Kelly is frighten by Pugs' recommendations.

2:39
*break*
2:48

Pugs and Kelly were late coming in because they were stuck in the same wreck. Kelly called into to Sybil to road rage to her. Pugs called that the car looked like a transformer but the girl looked OK. Kelly was yelling to Sybil, "SOMEBODY BETTER BE DEAD!". Pugs and Kelly thought that the chick was cute though.

3. WEEKEND BOX OFFICE...
5. Jersey Girl
4. Dawn of the Dead
3. The Passion of the Christ
Pugs says to Sybil, "Yeah, that's right bitch... it's going down."
2. Lady Killers
Sybil admits that the trailers to this movie is confusing to her.
1. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Sybil likes it but doesn't dig the CGI dog. Pugs thinks they should get a real dog trained in the arts of mystery solving.

4. Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise are still broke up.
Pugs calls Scientology "star trek with Jesus"

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:56*


I HEARD IT DUDE (IHID)

Sybil giggle- 21.5
Dings- 7
Buzzer- 6


Comments? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com