*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:44*

Kelly informs us that so much happened last night at Dodgeball. She asked Sybil if they were still going to play in the rain and Sybil reminded her that they had previously stated that come rain or shine, the game is on. Kelly thought that she was just using a cute figure of speech but I guess she was wrong. Pugs is upset at some of the regulars that didn't show up last night. Pugs took it upon himself last night to make sure that he could keep the Dallas Reality TV allstar team together because he knows that people like that tend to flake. Pugs got rip roaring drunk last night because he kept taking them all together as a team to do tequila shots. Eric reminds Pugs that at 7:40 Pugs was gone. Pugs calls Greg Hill a pussy because they didn't want to play in the rain. The Kidz had to give up their championship. The new champs are Nads/Next. Kelly reminds us that they were called elderly gentlemen last week and explains that her father was quite pleased to learn that 34-42 is considered elderly now... dudes, I'm friggin' 20, what the hell do I know?.... They announce that my WAP player this week is Scott Womack. Kelly explains that she told me that I should be WAP because I took a wicked shot to the nads. Steve Yurkee got a great picture of that happening. Tom from the Nads calls in to clarify their dual entry. He calls Next their farm team and Kelly questions why the players of next was kicked off by the Nads members after Nads was eliminated. Pugs doesn't' think that is fair and Tom explains something and I can't follow right now. Pugs admits that he really doesn't care. Eric says that Ian from Jesus Christler Supercar was quite upset about that and Pugs reveals that they had told him that they are going to form a farm team too. Kelly congratulates Tom for having a superior team and Pugs lets Tom know that they are way better than that wussie Kidz team that didn't come out to play after a few sprinkles of rain. Pugs wonders what happened to Team Duke's because they have been struggling lately. Eric thinks it's because of the superior strategy that Nads use. They only throw at people that have just thrown to catch them at a disadvantage. Pugs focuses our attention to the Pugs and Kelly show/Reality TV show showdown. Pugs admits that we suck. They've played three seasons and they challenged a group of people that don't know each other. They were thrown together and it only took them three games to get as good and ultimately better than us. Kelly brings up Misty (bachelor) unique strategy. She throws the balls up really high and they land on you. You don't expect it because you don't look up for balls, it's all eye level. Kelly looked up at a ball and thought that she had a good 45 seconds before she had to worry about that ball. In that 45 seconds she forgot about the ball and got hit in the shoulder. Eric brings up Smith's craptastic performance last night. Pugs and Eric agree that he kicks ass on every other team but theirs. Pugs brings up how James disappeared and demands that James be taken off the team. Kelly reminds him that while she like me a lot, my strength is in blogging and not dodgeball. She pleads that they don't trade James for me.... damn you people, it was my first time playing.... When we come back we're going to discuss the behavior patterns from the different reality TV show personalities. Kelly thinks it's funny that we could lose to this team because Joe (Average Joe) didn't even bother to put his beer down. Pugs complains because they swept us. Kelly reminds Pugs that he was drunk but he complains that they were too. Eric says that is how Misty developed her style ,"I got drunk and I decided that I'll just throw it high!" Pugs thinks that Dominic(Bands on the Run) threw one ball that is still rolling down beltline. He wound up to fling a ball and it rolled off his fingers and flew a hundred yards across beltline. Pugs turned around and stared at that feat when he got pegged. Kelly saw him doing that and wondered what the hell Pugs was doing. Pugs thinks that the reality TV show was just too tricky. Pugs brings up how somebody was going around biting people's nipples. Kelly says that there is an easy way to figure out who was the culprit. She informs us that I have the dental print in my chest.. I really do... it's all scabbed over now and purple, I have dead skin on parts of it, it's so gross.

12:01
*breaK*
12:12


Kick ass clip of Lucy Liu being a bad ass in Kill Bill... Pugs thinks its kick ass. Eric and Sybil are doing a movie screening later tonight for "Envy". They explain the premise of the movie to Pugs, Jack Black invents a stupid product that makes him a millionaire and Ben Stiller becomes incredibly jealous. Kelly thinks that if that was to happen to them, Kelly would be insanely upset with Pugs. Pugs thinks he should surround himself with "money people" to make his wacky ideas solid and Kelly reminds him that he does have money people but, he never steps through anything. Pugs and Kelly agree that it is better for their relationship that Pugs never becomes successful. Pugs points out that just because Jack Black and Ben Stiller are in a move doesn't mean it's going to be good. Kelly prays that "Dodgeball" will be good and Pugs informs her that since Vince Vaughn is in it, it should be a good flick. He claims that Vince Vaughn has replaced his two favorite actors, John Cusack and Ed Norton, in his guaranteed good movie category. Kelly calls him on his Vin Diesel theory. Pugs puckers up his big pouty lips and prepares to attach them to the back side of Vin again. He thinks that Vin Diesel is and under-rated actor and that in five years we will all be talking about the great Oscar winning performances by Vin Diesel. Kelly reminds him that he said that five years ago. Eric rubs "Passion of the Christ" in Pugs' face. Alan, from Mohica, calls into ask about Nikki McKibbon flashing everybody at Dodgeball last night. He explains that Joe from "Average Joe" asked to see them and she... showed them. Pugs thinks that makes her a cool chick. She was asked to show them... and she did. Pugs explains that Nikki was celebrating a bit because she was going to LA the next day because she has made some great business moves. Pugs says that everybody but Dominic was drunk last night. Pugs thinks about it for a second and wonders if Dominic is just always drunk so, we wouldn't know the difference. Nikki would talk to you for a bit and then out of nowhere she would bite a chunk out of your nipple. She bit everybody on her team, Pugs, and Eric. Eric was inspired to bite nipples after that. Kelly points out that Nikki bit me last night to and drew blood. I didn't quite know how to take it. I IM her to let her know that Eric bit me before Nikki did but his was nice and soft. Kelly scolds Eric and tells him that it's weird to bite other boys' nipples. Eric points out that Nikki was screaming, "ROCK AND ROLL!!!! I'M A ROCK STAR!!!" Everyone agrees that she was a lot of fun. Kelly was waiting for Nikki to bite Tyson's nipple because she was worried that Tyson would have knocked her on her ass. Kelly points out how Brook was upset because she hurt him. Pugs thinks that really cute chicks that are out of their skull on tequila are allowed to get away with biting your nipples hard. Pugs thinks that the hot thing about Nikki is that if you take her home to band her, she's going to draw blood and scare you during the act. However, for the next six months, you're going to be fantasizing about that night. Robert calls in to ask what is the difference between Eric getting sexually assaulted and him biting other people's nipples. Pugs and Kelly remind us of the "finger ass" incident from Mardi Gras. Eric explains that he only really did it to me and that he didn't get a full chomp. Pugs admits that I described as a loving nibble. Pugs loves the new image that Nikki is portraying. Pugs explains that the three girls that were on the reality team last night are three distinct personalities. Nikki might go nuts and kill you. Heather told Aaron and Pugs last night, " Why don't you guys have girlfriend's that go fetch you beers... you guys should have girlfriends to walk back and forth, guys shouldn't have to walk back and forth to get a beer... I believe that a woman should cook, clean, and take care of their man." Pugs and Aaron agreed that was way too hot. Misty was the all-American girl next door. Kelly wonders which one Pugs took home and he lets us know that he went home with Rob. Nikki disappeared last night and Pugs thinks it's fun to have a dodgeball tournament and hide and go seek. Ian, "sweep the leg Johnny" from Jesus Christler Supercar calls in. Kelly points out that JCSC made it all the way to the finals only to be defeated by elderly gentlemen. Ian claims that JCSC is finally making a name for themselves and now everybody knows that they are one of the more fearsome competitors to face. Pugs giggles and Kelly plays along with Ian. She wonders if everybody is still aiming for him first. Kelly says that the crowd was wondering if Ian was going bald because he always wears the hat. Ian claims that he just doesn't want to mess up his hair. Pugs thinks that for a team that is so cocky, they would win a tournament from time to time. Ian blames the refs and the other teams cheating. Pugs explains that Jesus Christler Supercar is... Ian cuts him off to say "the textbook definition of dodgeball".... Pugs compares JCSC in Duke's Dodgeball league to the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference... Ian cuts him off to say "last season"... Pugs explains that they're good and everyone respects them but nobody is afraid to face them in the finals. Pugs lets him know that they're not Kidz, Duke's, Nads, or Next... that's four teams better than they are.... I could name more but I won't, cause I'm nice. Ian challenges everybody to try to knock them out of the tournament next week. Kelly is scared now... yeah.... Kelly compares Ian to JR Ewing, everybody loves to hate Ian.

12:31
*break*
12:41

Come rain, sleet, snow, giant reptiles, or sleep deprivation... Dodgeball carries on. I would like to remind everybody that you only have two options now, do the dodgeball or place your hand in a blender... is it really that tough of a choice?

It was a drizzly day out at Duke's Original Roadhouse today. The heavy pours let up right before the demo match started. I checked the courts while everyone was signing in and it was wetter than a swimming pool with lots of water in it... you probably thought I was going to go with the cheap dirty wet sex joke but I didn't, you sick perverted bastards....

Pugs and Kelly stomped the Reality TV Allstars in a clean sweep in the first set of matches. Since all seven reality TV stars showed up, I got to play on the show team. I didn't get too much of a feel for what happened in this set of games because Dominic, Bands on the Run, accidentally pulled off my glasses and knocked out one of my lenses. I looked up and found my self in a blurry mess and quite dizzy and confused. Being the super bad ass gamer that I am, I quickly through my frames into the crowd so that I could continue playing. I would like to thank the coolest person in the world, way cooler than that Jesus dude, Krysta for not only holding all of my stuff but for also retrieving my frames.... Krysta, you get double thumbs up. I did manage to get Brook out after fixing my glasses problem, I was still quite dizzy since my eyes didn't have time to get used to the blurs. The second round... yeah OK, Bowie caught my ball... whatever.

Before the 2nd meeting between the Pugs and Kelly team and the DFW Reality TV allstars, Pugs made sure that he got the Reality TV folks nice and liquored up. Unfortunately Pugs forgot one thing, three of the Reality TV stars are musicians and we all know that hard liquor is like high octane fuel for them. Pugs also forgot to stay sober. James disappeared, Pugs thinks he may have been off making out with a water pipe, so, former intern Byron joined the team... for a stomping. The Reality TV allstars swept the show team. This time I gave my glasses to PhatMatt and my other belongings to Krysta (I carry a lot of crap with me at all times). I got my eyes somewhat prepared to keep up. In round one it was pretty much just an ass beating with brave little Kelly being brave and little. She dodged better than our last two presidents and fought valiantly before getting bombarded with one two many balls. After the first round, Pugs huddled us up to talk strategy, Pugs and Kelly also bitched out Smith for sucking again. The games started and somehow Eric was immediately out. I kicked a ball out of Dominic's hands on the break and then Eric started screaming that Cody was out. Cody was confused but eventually left the game. I later asked Eric why Cody was out and he said that Cody blocked a ball but then dropped the ball he was holding. Pugs called for our super big play number one and ordered a direct fire on Matthew. He and I were the only ones that followed the plan even though I heard him complaining that only he went through with it... I was there big guy, I was there.... I managed to be the big man and whack Misty and Nikki with my balls. It came down to me vs Dominic, one on one. I went to throw at Dominic and the wet ball slipped from my hands and Dominic whacked me in the nuts. Steve Yurkee, dodgeball photographer, managed to get a great shot of this... I wish he didn't. So, as usual I crack under pressure... I'll place the gun in my mouth now. Goodbye, jerkasses. Dominic later apologized for whacking my nuts with his ball. I had to remind him that dodgeball is serious stuff and assured him that all was cool... as he walked away I flipped him off and uttered something anti-Semitic under my breath.

The tournament was on fire and there seemed to be less fights. Perhaps it was due to the Kidz not wanting to come out and play in the rain. This show blogger didn't say it but, some people were calling them little fraidy cats that were too pretty to get wet..... again, not me saying it... just some people... guys please don't kill the messenger, I got five very hungry turtles to feed... and umm, yeah a loving wife and kids.. little foreign retarded kids, I have to raise them right....

The winner of Week 5's dodgeball tournament is... Next! Team Next is made up of... well Nads.... It's team Nads. I'm not sure how they pulled dual entries off but yeah, Nads won. In the semi-finals they even played with themselves. Next swept Jesus Christler Supercar and did it with old school finesse. They showed those young Jesus Christler Supercar whipper snappers that seasoned veterans will spank eager youths every time. Congratulations Next, you are great. You won. You are the winners. Who lost? Well, not you guys, you big bunch of winners.

This week's Will's Amazing Player (WAP) is Scott Womack from the Next/Nads. Scott is definitely a player to watch. He can slang it with the best of them. He was in a high pressure situation in an early round. He was all alone with four other opponents on the other side. They seemed to be a who's who of dodgeball and he fought them off valiantly and managed to break it down to one guy before finally getting pegged. In the finals, Scott was undeniably "on". It's funny, I was at the bar getting an ice-water(for reason's that are explained further down) and I overheard a member of Jesus Christler Supercar and a member of Nads/Next talking about who was going to be the WAP. I turned around too let them know and they both agreed it was a great choice. So, congratulations Scott Womack.. you are a WAP. This dodgeball fan salutes you.






The fun after the tournament.. was fun. I was bitten in the left nipple twice. The first time it was Eric. He was so nice, gentle, and drunk. The second time it was Nikki from American Idol.. she... well, made me scream like a bitch. I had to walk around for the rest of the night with a glass of ice water attached to my chest. I now have a mold of her teeth on my chest so, if she happens to end up in some sort of disaster, I can just show my left nipple to match up her dental work.

Will hates Eric. (I was told by Eric to just write that phrase and leave it be. Parenthesis aren't part of the real text anyways so, I am using them to explain this. Apparently, Eric thinks I hate him. I don't hate Eric. I like Eric. He's a good dude. I haven't had that much interaction with him yet but I would like to have more... plus, he treated my nipple right.)

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:18*

Pugs and Kelly huh their way into the show and Kelly brings up how Howard Stern maybe the most influential man in this upcoming election. Kelly wishes they had that kind of swing because she hates that Laura Miller. She let Jabari go but Pugs reminds us that Jabari couldn't be contained because it had super human stregnth. Pugs found it interesting that the Bush administration was criticizing Kerry for giving his medals back and Kerry told Bush that that is funny coming from a man that can't even prove that he showed up for national guard duty. Pugs saw Sybil and Drago at the Mavs game last night and he calls Sybil silly for not realizing that the Blink 182 concert wasn't until next week. Kelly points out that Sybil got free flowers out of the situation. Kelly was surprised that the Mavs lost even though Drago was there. Kelly accuses Pugs of being a box guy that is only there for the scene. For some reason that makes Pugs sing Faith by George Michael. Pugs believes that they should get rid of Don Nelson because he isn't a championship coach. Kelly heard that Michael Finley is overrated and can't handle his balls too well. A dude calls in to say that the biggest problem is that they got rid of Nick Van Exel which took away their championship drive. Pugs doesn't think that Dirk is a top key NBA player and Kelly reminds us that Dirk isn't good for Texas. Pugs wonders why they didn't get free chulapas last night and then remembers that the Mavs have to both win and score over a hundred points. Pugs informs us that Macellus Wiley was so happy to get his free chulapa. Pugs gives props to the AAC for their great burritos.

11:40
*break*
11:55

Kelly has beef with Steve Noviella. He has been accusing her of cheating on her diet and she doesn't' care too much for those accusations. Pugs informs us that they'll be playing DFWs reality TV allstars in a grudge match this week at dodgeball. Pugs reminds us that they had huge wins last week and their team is still confident. Kelly wants the Fallopian swim team to show up. She heard that the reason why they didn't come to last week's tournament was because their boss yelled at them the previous week for being tired.... boo hoo... bossy won't let you play.... It's now time to open the Pugs and Kelly institute of human growth and development. This dude went on a big date with a girl that he had been pursuing romantically for a long time. Pugs thinks that maybe this guy cleaned one of his special rooms and maybe splashed a little baby powder in certain special areas. They go out on the date and the the girl stuck around for steak, lobster, two appetizers, multiple bottles of wine, and desert. Kelly wonders how fat this chick is. The girl took off after dinner because she said that she promised her girlfriends that she would hang out with them. The guy went to a club later that night with some of his friends and discovered that same girl on the dance floor dancing with some dude. Pugs is outraged that a girl can make two dates in the same night. Kelly says that rude guys in a bar can buy her a beer. One time, she had this guy be a complete dick to her friend Kim and then asked Kelly if she wanted a beer. Kelly said yes and when he came back with the beer. She took it, told him that he was rude, and walked off. Kelly thinks that guys need to get off the whole pay for meals thing. Pugs and Eric agree that the first few times you go out with a dude, let him pay. You should offer but let them pay. Pugs thinks that the girl should have at least invited the guy to go out with her friends. Casey calls in to say that if he was a guy that was invited out with a group of girls he might be looking to hook up with one of her friends. Pugs informs us that is a very tough move to pull off from the guy playbook. The mid date switch. Pugs nutshells it for our e-mailer in distress by saying that he learned that women are shoppers.

12:22
*break*
12:34

New James dodgeball PSA!!! Gavin joins us to make a crotch-grabbingly good announcement. Pugs points out how Gavin doesn't seem to be too excited to be in the studio with him. This is a major contrast from Gavin with Russ. Pugs and Kelly agree that Gavin should go out with them more often. Gavin reminds us that he has been to dodgeball multiple times. Pugs calls Gavin a "wonder kid" in radio programming. This will be the third big promotion under Gavin's lead, the White Trash Party and the Draft Party being the previous two. Pugs wonder if this new announcement will dwarf the previous two and Gavin complete no sells it. It's the 4th anniversary party!!! It's going to be Sunday May 30th at Joe Pool Lake. Chris calls in to say that Gavin isn't showing the same love to P & K that he would for Russ. Gavin announces that playing on the bill will be Little Orphan Annie (Everett Newton's band), Back In Black (popular AC/DC cover band), Living Color, and Vince Neil. Pugs lets us know that the lead singer of Living Color is Danny Glover's kid. Gavin is excited because it's all the original members of the band and not white guys. Kelly brings up how timely and nice Vince Neil is. Gavin promises that Vince will be doing a lot of Crue songs. Ray calls in to ask Gavin where the venue will be and expresses his fear that we will be just out in the middle of the lake somewhere. Gavin lets us know that the venue will be announced at a later date. Gavin also says that you must have tickets to get in and you can't pick up tickets at the event. There will be ticket giveaway locations that will also be announced at a later date. Pugs and Kelly wonder what time they can do their roller skating Donny and Marie act... and Eric and Sybil's puppet show, Lars and Sofi. Eric does his Lars voice and Gavin doesn't seem too receptive.

12:53
*breaK*
1:04

The show has E-mail problems all around... excpet for me! HAHA, sometimes it pays not to be at the station. Pugs would like to thank Subway for making a kick ass Atkin's friendly wrap. Pugs likes this diet because he can enjoy the foods that he likes in pig portions. Kelly would like to wish a very happy birthday to Saddam Husien *Beatles' music*.. Tyson has a buddy in town and he wants to show him around town...


NOTE!!! This shall be finished later... I had to do a crap load of homework so that I can go to the remote tomorrow with no worries.