*"El Distorto De Melodica"@ 11:35*

Kelly tells all of Dallas to read the blog for a report on Dodgeball. Pugs says that all great writers have a dark side that they try to keep hidden from the world and lat night he saw my darkside. Pugs informs us that I'm mild-mannered and that I don't stick my nose into anybodies business. He looked over and saw me yelling at somebody and pointing. Kelly reminds Pugs that it was Paul AKA Tuva Groove from Friendzy and explains that I got upset because Tuva double tweaked my nipples. I'm still recovering from my Nikki McKibbin nipple biting incident. She points out that we seemed to have patched it up and Pugs thinks that I may have been laughing because I was embarrassed that people saw me going off on him. I want to say that Mr. Tuva did it to me earlier and I thought I made it clear to him that I don't appreciate that kind of thing. He did it to me again and I took offense to it. I also had encounters with yuppie freaks getting in my face for one stupid reason after another and I took offense to this young yuppie type's, in dire need of dental work, comments on people that I care for. I had an extremely rough day that day and somebody doing something that I had previously stated I didn't care for... well, it pissed me off to no end. I have a big problem with people I'm not close with doing things like that to me and I've never been afraid to let somebody know what bothers me. Colorful phrases flow smoothly out of my mouth. I may seem a bit distant at times but I'm an emotionally intense stick of dynamite. I wasn't embarrassed that people saw me going off on this dude, I just recognized that he was truly apologetic for his offense.



more later, tomorrow morning is school searching.

I just got back from dodgeball and I'm tired and irritated. I'm completely dead right now and I feel like I'm lacking my mind. So, excuse me if this isn't the most entertaining blog....



It was a hot day at Duke's Original Roadhouse and Dodgeball was even hotter. It seems like the teams are now just all star teams. It's the best of the best playing with each other. It's actually a little hard to keep up now, which is not good because I get easily confused anyway. Duke's was PACKED. There were so many friggin' people there that I was going friggin' bonkers... so many friggin' people getting so friggin' close to me and so much friggin' drinking was going and it made some people so friggin' belligerent... and a few of those friggin' people got in my friggin' bad side... (notice how I'm not cursing, it's cause I'm a good blogger). I would also like to clarify that I did not get in a fight with Mr. Tuva. Mr. Tuva did something that really bothered me so, I let him know it bothered me. I may have used a few colorful phrases but that was it. He apologized for his actions and it has been settled.


In our international showcase game in honor of Cinco De Mayo, Pugs and Kelly beat Mexico's ass... bad. As usual, the Mexicans came unprepared and short. Pugs had to give an open invitation to any Mexicans in the crowd to join. Once the Mexicans were assembled... not pretty. I seem to remember Eric screaming something being prideful and white, not quite sure exactly what he was saying. The Pugs and Kelly show team.. wow, that's it wow. More than words.. and I'm tired, and the notes that I took on the first match got wet... so, I can't read them, have a picture instead




Team Pugs and Kelly beat even more ass later on in the night. For the tournament, Team Pugs and Kelly had their newest intern, Greg Hill, join in for the fun... it's so nice of them to include the new guy. Pugs caught a ball and really seemed to be improving. James, in the first five seconds of the game, managed to throw a ball to get a guy out and then, without a moment's thought, caught a ball to get another guy out... James is a badass, pure and simple. After the sweeping defeat of Flex Capacitator (I think that was the team name, my notes are wet and it's hard to read) team Pugs and Kelly retired for the night undeafeted... that's right jerkasses, Pugs and Kelly rock harder than you.



Week 6's dodgeball champions is Shepard's Uniform and Supply! This team, like most teams, seemed to be made up of several different teams all latched together. This week really was like some kind of weird pro-bowl/all star week. Well, congratulations Shepard's Uniform and Supply (Duke's, JCSC, Jabari's Revenge, and whoever else was in your team) you are the champions!


Will's Amazing Player (WAP) of the week just so happens to be Sybil's Amazing Player (SAP) of the week... Congratulations Don Davidson. Don is an amazing dodgeball talent. He is ridiculously intense and has all the skills a good dogeball guy needs. The most amazing thing about this amazing player is that this was his first week playing. I can't imagine how good Don would be if he had a full season behind him. My suggestion to all of you teams out there that really want to win... DRAFT DON DAVIDSON! Hell, Pugs and Kelly... figure out a way to justify him being on your team, everybody needs Don on their team. Way to go Don Davidson, you are both a SAP and a WAP.






comments? Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:30*

Pugs and Kelly need a showcase game for this week's dodgeball event so, in honor of Cinco De Mayo, Pugs wants to play Mexico. Everybody wonders what exactly Cinco de Mayo is, again. Eric says that Mexican independence day is in September. Kelly thinks it might be the one that is a celebration that France didn't take them over. Pugs points out that celebrating that France didn't conquer you isn't much cause for a celebration because they do much. Kelly thinks that the French are arrogant for no real reason. Lee calls in to offer four members of his Mexican landscaping crew. He hands the phone to one of them and he's speaking Spanish. Eric starts talking back and tells him to turn the radio down. He invites them to Dodgeball tonight at Duke's Original Roadhouse in Addison. The guy asks him "what time dummy?" Eric tells him "at 6 dummy". The guy asks him, in English, if Eric is going to be wearing a dress and Eric tell him no. They hang up and Eric informs that he doesn't think that he was a real Mexican. A guy calls in to teach us that Cinco De Mayo is independence from France and the one in September is independence from Spain. Pugs wonders how many times that country got conquered. The guy says that he has to stand up for his "peeps" and Kelly asks him if he likes Mexico so much, why doesn't he go back to Mexico? Pugs points out that Kelly just told a minority to go back from where he came from. Francisco calls in to say that he's Mexican-born and he's already registered a Mexican team for the tournament. Eric puts him through the rigorous test to determine if he is truly Mexican. He asks him where is from and Francisco tells him Monterey... which is right! He's a Mexican! David calls in to wonder if this is a INS plot to catch all the Mexicans. Pugs thinks that would be a great grudge match, a bunch of off-duty INS officers and a group of illegals. David points out that if the INS guys lose they could get mad and bust everybody.

11:44
*break*
12:00

Pugs hope that people will forgive him for having a special affection for the lost art of Made for TV movies.He explains that the glory days of Made for TV movies are between 1977-85. Pugs loves the disaster movie and bring up "The Day After". Kelly explains that they had to have a special meeting at school to let everyone know that they shouldn't freak out because of that movie. Pugs rented "The Day After" not too long ago and admits that it still freaks him out a bit. Pugs and Kelly explain to the youngin's, Eric and Sybil, that the premise of the movie was nuclear war. Pugs explains to everybody what it was like to grow up during the Cold War. Every moment of their lives were in the shadow of potential nuclear war. In 1983, ABC produced this mini-series what would happen the day after an all out nuclear attack on America. Eric remembers crying to his mom that he didn't want to die in a nuclear war. Kelly remembers that they had drills where they had to get underneath their desk to avoid a nuclear explosion... really, would that help? Old people from that generation were stupid.... Pugs points out that in catholic school the idea was to just accept it. Pugs explains the premise of "10.5". Big earthquake caused a chain reaction that went all the way down the Pacific coast. He lets us know that when San Francisco got taken out it looked like a bunch of matchbox cars falling over on the golden gate bridge. The scientist came up with the idea to shoot nuclear missiles at the middle of the earth and save southern California. It didn't work and Southern California sank into the ocean. Pugs wonders what the was the point of the movie. They play a clip of Beau Bridges as the president giving a speech at the end of the movie... *the most stereotypically bad music playing with an equally retarded speech, I'm glad I didn't watch this movie*... Nobody seems to get it. Kelly points out that is why Jeff does is it in the movies and Beau does it on TV. Kelly reads how the creator didn't talk to any specialist on the movie, he just used the internet for the research they needed. Pugs explains that every horrible cliche that has ever been in a disaster movie was multiplied by ten in "10.5".

12:28
*break*
12:41

Cody joins the show for the Fatkins diet challenge. Kelly complains how yesterday morning weighed 140 and then ran an errand and came back two pounds lighter. Cody will be consuming Snuffer's cheese fries. Pugs grabs one of the plates and announces that it weighs about 2/3 pounds. Eric points out that Cody only got the cheese instead of all the fixings that go along with it. Pugs grabs some of the fries and Kelly tells him that he's going to die. Pugs thinks it's like 20 potatoes and a brick of cheese. Kelly is curious if Cody gained any "cake weight". Cody steps on the scale... and it's still broken. Cody has a lot of ranch dressing here and Kelly heard that people put ranch dressing on pizza here. Pugs explains it's because the pizza here sucks so bad that it's the only thing that makes it swallowable. It's time for the Pugs and Kelly Institute for Human Growth and Development. Pugs and Kelly remind us that they've made every bad decision they could possibly make and that makes them qualified to give advice. Kelly lets everybody know that it is stupid to go to a clergyman for advice on sex. Nina's problem is that her mom is coming in for a visit. Mom goes through her stuff while she sleeps. She is "ho-proofing" her house this year. Nina wants to know if she should confront her mom on this. Pugs and Kelly agree that it's better to have a hotel for visiting relatives. Pugs' mom will go through his stuff and he can't blame her, it's just the situation they've had since he was a kid. Pugs asks Kelly for the golden rule... Kelly says "do onto others..."... Pugs attempts to say "Always..." Kelly chimes in with "... wear a condom". Pus finally blurts out that you should always sweep it under the rug and Kelly lets us know that burying your hand in the sand is actually quite comfortable. Pugs points out that with the mother you're allowed to fight but Kelly lets us know that if you do confront her, you won't hear the end of it for a long time. John calls in to suggest that Nina leave fake body parts/bags of drugs to distract her mother. Everyone agrees that may be a bight too extreme but busy work would be good.

12:55
*break*
1:03

Pugs asks Sybil if she wants to do some news and she says "OK". Kelly points out that we ask Sybil that every day and she says "OK" and then they play the Sybil Giggle Theme it starts out with that same exchange. *Sybil Giggle Theme* Pugs thinks the beginning should be edited out and Kelly suggest that they just stop saying it. Pugs agrees that would be much easier.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. In New Zealand, this chick found a live frog in her salad on a flight.
Pugs thinks that's a bonus because that's what those people eat down there. Kelly thinks that may just be a crouton in Australian world but that the frog is customarily served dead.

2. In New Jersey, a middle school foot ball team were having an award ceremony. The coach called one of the kids to insure that he show up because he was receiving a special award. The kid received the "cry baby" award. The kid was so embarrassed that the kid didn't go to school on Monday and the coaches are facing disciplinary action.
Pugs is tired of these cry babies being cry babies. Kelly points out that he deserves the award because of his temper tantrum after wards. Pugs reminds us that he threw a big tantrum yesterday and broke his headphones. Eric plays the clip *BANG hehe*... Kelly admires Pugs' "sticktoitness". He has kept the same headphones for years even though they interfere with the equipment. Oh no... the buzz his back. Eric says that the mics aren't grounded.

3. At the Kentucky Derby, Anna Nicole Smith had her film crews following her around and Kid Rock asked her if she had to have them following them around all the time. They exchanged middle fingers. He later apologized to her son for making the gesture in front of him.
Pugs calls her an annoyance. Sybil is still interested in her and brings up the big scene that she was making at Howard Stern's studio. They didn't want them to tape there there. Kelly wonders why they wouldn't be allowed to record there since it's the same network... Will, the best damn 5 second researcher ever, looked further into this and found out that Anna Nicole's show got canceled so that means she's recording to shop around her project.

4. Sybil wonders who everyone's favorite TV mom is.
Pugs thinks that Donna Reed was hot.

1:18
*break*
1:31

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:53"

Kelly is excited about Cody's Fatkin's diet. At Dave & Busters, Cody was scarfing down a burger and shake and claiming that he can't put on weight. This irritated Kelly a bit because she works so hard to diet and exercise. They cooked up this crazy diet plan for Cody. Everyday this month they're going to have him eat some crazy amount of fattening food in order to put some weight on him. Cody calls in while out getting his own food. He doesn't want to say the name of the place he's at and Pugs tells us that it's Whole Foods. Cody explains that they only have round cakes there and not square cakes like Pugs wanted him to get. Pugs tells him to pick up two of the round cakes and a gallon of milk. A guy calls in to suggest that Cody eat a couple orders of the cheese fries from Snuffers. Kelly brings up "Supersize Me", the documentary about the guy that ate nothing but McDonald's food for a month and gained a lot of weight. There is a guy that just did the same thing and lost weight. Greg calls in to suggest cheesecake and Eric wants to see Cody eat a large Chicago style pizza.

12:02
*break*
12:12

Pugs wants a girlfriend so that he can have weird things to talk about on the air again. On Saturday, everyone was at the Sun Bru tanning bkini competition at Jack's pub. Pugs gave his best score to the girl that was shivering the most and she ended up winning the whole thing. Pugs reminds us of the Tyson/Kelly situation from last week. Kelly and Tyson showed up together and Pugs points out how Tyson was not even around the bikini girls, he was in the bar with Kelly. Kelly explains that Tyson and his friend were watching the contest at first but then they came inside. They sat down and played "how many guys will Kelly talk to until she notices Tyson is there". Kelly tells us that Tyson has a problem with some guys giving her a kiss on the cheek. The guy that sparked the problem on Saturday was Joe from Average Joe. Pugs loves how Joe is capitalizing on his 15 minutes of fame. He was at the Kentucky Derby then he hopped on a plane and jumped on stage to hug the girls in the bikini contest. Kelly explains how Gavin says that people feel automatically close to them because they talk on the air for four hours a day as themselves. Pugs and Kelly would like to remind everyone that the fake Pugs and Kelly is the one that you meet outside the station. The real Pugs and Kelly don't like being nice to people and would never let you hug/kiss them. Tyson wants Kelly to tell the guy fans to back up. Pugs wonders if Kelly noticed that some guys are just hugging her to feel her up. Kelly says that she does notice sometimes but Tyson is a lot better at picking that up. Suzie calls in to blame it on cultural differences. She says that Hispanics are very touchey feely and Eric informs us that he picked up his affectionate nature in Mexico... I normally just pick up STDs and fireworks.... Pugs tells us that if a girl says something nice to him he'll hug her and then she should leave. Pugs reminds us that most guys are just trying to cop a feel on Kelly's new boobs. Eric hugs close guy friends and all the ladies. He claims that his first instinct was to hug Kelly when he saw her on Saturday but Kelly informs us that Eric actually just shoved her out of the way. A woman calls in to say that her father in-law nibbles her ear when he hugs her. Pugs lets her know that her father in-law wants to bang her. Oliver calls in to say that his well-endowed girlfriend... bragger.... is a big hugger but she is wise enough to realize that guys are just tying to touch her goodies. She has perfected the side hug. Pugs illustrates, for the listening audience, what the side hug is with Kelly. Eric laughs at how awkward Pugs and Kelly look hugging each other.

12:36
*break*
12:50

Cody is back from Whole Foods with his cake. Kelly wants to include Webmaster Scott on this diet because he was talking about how he couldn't gain weight either. They're going to weight Cody.... Cody stands at 6'2"/6'3" and officially weighs... zero. The scale isn't working and Eric tells him to try it again. Cody officially weighs in at... zero. Eric tells Cody to kick it. Before he went to the store, Cody weighed in at 140. Cody officially weighs in at... zero. Pugs gets irriitated and weighs himself. Pugs weighs... 89 pounds. Pugs gets even more outraged. He points out how nobody is on the scale right now and that nothing weighs 63 pounds. Pugs kicks the scale and now it's working. Cody officially weighs in at 138 lbs. Kelly complains that Cody lost 2 pounds just picking up his food. Cody reminds her that it's a long trip. Cody is going to eat 2 birthday cakes that would normally feed about ten people each. They weigh 64 ounces each. Everyone attempts to do the math and Pugs finally informs us that Cody is eating 40 pounds of cake and a gallon of big thick Whole Food style Milk... now that's really creamy folks.... Pugs and Kelly tell him to sit in the corner, eat his cake and shut up. It's Sopranos update time. Pugs had to catch the 11 o' clock version of the Sopranos and was dead tired while he was watching it. The hting that realyl stuck out in his mind though is that Vito (Capo) is gay.


more to be continued tomorrow during show breaks... I have to run to Hurst in the morning and I can't be falling asleep in the car again....




werd (that's my word lady... I'm sorry, I love you. marry me?)

Guys and gals...


I know I've been lacking in my blogging duties as of late. Everything is moving so fast right now in my life. It's crunch time at school and I've had a lot of personal issues come up. I've been writing papers all weekend and I'm about to jump out of my friggin' skull. I'm done with school on Tuesday and I'll feel so much better. When that time comes I'll be hop hop hopping on the blog blog bloggy.... holy crap, did I just type that out? shoot me now.... I got tons of notes and I'll be posting all that I can from the shows that I haven't posted yet. I will not be taking another insane schedule this upcoming year, this crap nearly killed me.

So why don't you enjoy these never before released dodgeball pictures that I took... these are from the P and K ass kicking marathon that was week 4.























also, enjoy these observations that I have lately...

1) Pugs has sang One George Michael song a week these past 3 weeks

2) Pugs bought Barry Manilow's greatest hits

3) Pugs has admitted to wearing his mother's clothing.

4) Pugs has admitted once again, that he has been looking at cruisingforsex.com

5) Pugs has once again searched for local Dallas Trannys on eros.com

6) Pugs' own mother thinks that Pugs most have enjoyed being molested by another boy because he never complained about it.

7) Pugs admitted that he was hot for the soccer guy last Thursday.

8) Admission of watching, getting into, and getting outraged by American Idol.



comments? E-mail Will at Will@pugsandkellylive.com