*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 12:11*

Pugs coughs up a lung. Kelly wants to apologize to some of the people she may have been short with at dodgeball last night. Kelly doesn't want to hear about how your "super team" can't play because your other "super team" is playing and they share members. We ended dodgeball last night at midnight and Kelly reminds us that it's late. Pugs thinks he needs to stop doing tequila shots because he still felt drunk this morning. Pugs needed a good wing man last night and nobody was there. Eric, member of the runner up team Nads, calls in and Kelly applauds the Nads for not fighting.... GO NADS! Kelly wonders who on Nads has a problem with Tyson and Pugs reminds her that it could be anybody. Pugs was at the bar and all the bouncers started flocking somewhere. Pugs followed but it was settled by the time he got there. Pugs asked one of the bouncers last night if they have more or less fights on Wednesday nights. The bouncer informed him that they have more but it's not dodgeball as much as it's the drunks that watch dodgeball. Kelly thinks that the Nads are great guys because, they take it seriously but they still have fun. Eric explains that dodgeball is serious stuff. Kelly has heard that a lot of the guys are really happy that dodgeball has been extended but the wives aren't so content. Pugs wants to address the officials later. Pugs has been hearing that the refs are just blowing things left and right from EVERYONE. He has been telling people that they can't be perfect and that they're going to miss things. Kelly reminds us that their are 6 to a team, 6 balls being thrown, two officials per court, and only two eyes per ref... except in Francis' case. Pugs clarifies that Francis only has one eye and it's slanted. Pugs claims that he got a rim job from the refs last night. Matt calls in to say that Bruce called him out without a ball even coming near him. Matt got in Bruce's face in a drunken frenzy. He would like to issue an apology to Bruce so that he's not screwed next week... also so that he doesn't end up at the bottom of Lake Lewisville... Kelly tells us to check out the show blog for the dodgeball blog. Pugs thinks that we need to speak to me... because he might be having an internet affair with someone and it's shocking...

12:23
*break*
12:30

NOTE! You people blew up my bandwidth. I'm both happy and disturbed. Happy because it means a lot of people are checking this out. Disturbed because I had to go back and fix it. Lucklily for all of us, I'm a fixer.

I just got back from Duke's Original Roadhouse and I am dog tired. I probably shouldn't have come tonight, I have a fever and I feel like the bottom of a homeless man's shoe, but dodgeball is something that can not be missed. It's quite simple really, if you don't do the dodgeball, you should die.

Kurt Vollers is a pussy. That's right, he is. He was obviously too afraid that a professional athlete would be embarrassed by a group of radio people. Maybe he lost his testicles in a freak bicycle riding accident, that's sad. He probably heard about Cody's amazing dodging ability and wet his pants contemplating even trying to compete with that. His voicemail is just ridiculous too. He also started World War I. So, the exhibition match between the Pugs and Kelly show team and the Dallas Cowboys didn't happen. It's ok, we still had fun.

The Pugs and Kelly show team with new member Greg Hill... lost. DrinkLocal.com beat them 2-1. Well, at least everyone looked nice in their show uniforms. Pugs has developed a new strategy, hiding behind Greg Hill and I do believe that Smith may have killed somebody with a ball thrown with the velocity of a bullet... Seriously, that kind of throwing power scares me. This absolutely adorable woman that was cheering for drinklocal.com was complaining that Pugs and Kelly pitted themselves against them in the tournament because they never win... well, they won.

Here are some individual action pictures of everyone on the Pugs and Kelly show team.


Kelly doesn't stop smiling when she plays... I don't think she realizes that her team loses a lot. Actually, Kelly played for another team later that night and did wonderfully.


Pugs is really good at taunting and cursing really loud. He also makes funny faces when he gets out.


Cody is a master dodger. He can easily dodge four balls at one time. I'm sure he has some past troubles with balls and that's why he avoids them.



Smith kills people. He also has a really nice spin he does before he throws to confuse his targets. He also got whacked in the nuts while officiating.


James is a bad ass. If you call him a good ass, you'd be wrong... he's a bad ass.


Greg is better than you. It's that simple. He's a running back... speed, agility, and power. He's better than you.


I would like to give special mention to James Hamrick, Scott Womack, and Don Davidson, all former WAPs. These guys are sought after heavily by teams. I don't think one game went by on either court that didn't have any of these guys playing. Hell... all three of them played in the final. If you aren't a team that is actively scouting these guys then you are obviously fond of losing. If you like to contact James Hamrick, E-mail him at jamesa09@yahoo.com. You can reach Don at atticusfinch0022@yahoo.com. Offer them money folks... so that they have to give me a 10 percent cut. I would also like to give mention to Laila Moore. This was Laila's first week playing and she did great. She managed to single handedly knock out three people. That in itself isn't too impressive but when you take into consideration that these were member of Duke's and Jesus Christler Supercar... yeah, that's might impressive. Laila is a regular at Duke's and a self-proclaimed "all around cool motorcycle riding chick". If you want to grab her for your team, you can contact her at ImaStar111@aol.com

The quarter finals came down to Next, Nads, Shepard's Uniform, and Duke's. Nads and Next are sister teams... so is Shepard's and Duke's... so, Kelly had the two teams merge and they played a best 3 out of 5 round. This was an amazing match. The fences were knocked into innocent bystanders. Pugs, who seemed to be completely bombed, got on a mic and we were treated to a little 11:30 PM Pugs and Kelly segment. The teams were tied 2-2 and in the end, Duke's pulled out the victory. Congratulations Duke's. I would like to thank both of these teams for playing with a lot of heart. It was dodgeball at it's finest and I was proud to be watching... and heckling.

Watching that final match though gave me an idea. I want to make an individual rivalry. I'm sure that this isn't how rivalries are made... but I don't care. James Hamrick and Don Davidson WILL kill each other with dodgeballs.


Sure... they're shaking hands and smiling now but, right after this picture was taken... they tried to bash each other's brains out with those balls... honestly, I don't lie. I'm a journalist... kind of.

Will's Amazing Player (WAP) for week 8 is... Ian Hall from Jesus Christler Supercar! Sure, some of you might call Ian a loud mouth cheater but, you're just jealous. Ian isn't a loud mouth, he's just vocally passionate about the sport. He's not a cheater, he's just tricky. Nobody can deny that he's a great athlete and he has really seemed to "get" dodgeball. Ian found himself being the lone man several times tonight and pulled threw in the clutch. He caught two balls at once and he is utilizing stealth with his style of play. Ian Hall, you are a WAP... this dodgeball fan salutes you.




comments? E-mail Will at Will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:54*

Kelly reminds us that this is your final moments to register for dodgeball and she also asks the dodgeball teams to write a small bio about their team so that they can profile them on the website. Kelly complains that it's warm outside and she doesn't want to wear shorts because Oprah taught her that women should never wear shorts unless their going to the beach. Kelly wonders if she should get a tennis skirt and Pugs thinks that would be cute. Pugs has a great time last night and Kelly admits that she is jealous of the times that Pugs has on the town. She explains that she misses out because her boyfriend frowns upon her going out with other men. One of the big wigs of infinity were in town and Pugs had to go smooch. Kelly bets that they went to a strip club and Pugs clarifies that it wasn't just a strip club... it was the Lodge. They agree that it's more than a strip club. Pugs plays that Usher song thing, he teaches us that this is the official theme song of every strip club he's visited in the past six months. Pugs' plan was to stay sober and make the best impression on him that he possibly could. Pugs and Metro-Aaron, Pugs' heterosexual lifemate, decided to go to Primo's before they were to meet up with Gavin and the big boss and Pugs is outraged that they've lived in Dallas for three years and have yet to visit this place. Pugs explains that the "broads are un-freaking-believable" . They were meeting Heather, from the bachelor, and they see this guy from across the room. Pugs thinks it's Drew Henson, Pugs hung out with him after the draft party, and then Kurt Vollers walks in, Pugs recognizes him because he's a giant with a mullet. Pugs reminds us that he told everyone that Drew Henson was engaged and now teaches us that not only is Drew Henson not engaged, he was quite upset that to learn that there was a perception out there that he wasn't single. Pugs claims he would pay good money to be able to sniff Drew Henson's finger on a Sunday morning and Kelly is disgusted. Pugs and Aaron both felt like they had to get away from Drew Henson because he was sucking up all the ladies' attention. Vollers had one of his buddies from Notre Dame with him and introduced him to Pugs. Pugs met "Jules" and told him that he;s from Chicago. Jules told him that his brother plays for the Bears and Pugs learned that his brother's name is Thomas Jones. Pugs got excited because that meant he was talking to "Julius freakin' Jones" and was upset that nobody told him right off the bat. Kelly wonders if it would have been better for Pugs if Julius would have introduced himself as " Hi, I'm Julius freakin' Jones". Pugs explains that he's completely homo for this guy in a very heterosexual way. Pugs teases that they had more friends come to the table.

12:17
*break*
12:28

Kelly wonders if Pugs was pinching Julius Jones' ass and Pugs proclaims that Julius is his new favorite person in the whole world. He was quite pleased, after coming off the horrible encounter with Emmit Smith, to learn that there are decent people within pro-sports. Pugs and Kelly remind us of their anti-dick stance and informs us that the group of people they hang out with are all nice people... with the exception of Tyson who Pugs admits can be a real dick. Pugs was trying his best to not talk football with Julius Jones but, the dork in him was jumping out of his skull. Pugs went into shot-mood to help bond with everyone. Pugs was told that a buddy of theirs were coming and that they should wait before they went to the next place. The buddy shows up and sits right next to Pugs and he gets introduced to Don. Pugs says hello to Don and goes back to talking to Aaron... then he realized it was "Donovan Freakin' McNabb". Pugs wanted to tell Donovan how they were kicking Rush's ass in the ratings and about how it was for him. Pugs was ready to get up, sit in the corner, and watch these guys interact. Pugs compares this to the back-stage environment at a concert and he felt uncomfortable. Pugs reminds us that Donovan has to be on-guard with the media at all times and didn't want for them to be scared off. Aaron and Julius Jones had to go to the restroom at the same time and Aaron made Julius go in the sink because he's a rookie. Pugs assures us that all these guys are polite and thinks it's because Parcels wants good players. Kelly finds it unbelievable that he would want good players. Pugs says that not only does Kurt Vollers think that he is a better trivia master than Pugs, he is also under the impression that he can "kick it" better than he can. Kelly is confused about the meaning of "kick it" and Pugs explains that it's Vollers-speak for laying around and being a lazy ass. Pugs laughs about the ignorance of Vollers and reminds us that his couch potato lazy ass is well-trained in the art of slothing. Kelly teach us that Vollers play way too many video games and that he could spend that time watching TV.... I would like to add that moving your fingers around on a game controller is far more activity than just laying in your own filth watching a Brady Bunch marathon.... Kelly starts singing the Notre Dame fight song. Pugs thinks that Donovan McNabb is a very smart cool guy. Pugs finally got intimidated so much that he HAD to leave when Keyshawn Johnson showed up. Pugs was hammered, running on a sports high, and decided to go meet with his big boss. Pugs thinks that he didn't make too good of an impression and believes that they might be receiving pink slips soon. Pugs plugs Metro Limo and lets us know that Aaron will always get you there safe... unless you want him to drive wrecklessly but, that will cost you extra. That's Metro Limos at 972.699.8123 *DING!*. Pugs needs Sybil to get a hold of Vollers because Julius Jones is all about playing Dodgeball. Vollers claims he'll play but as always, he has conditions. Pugs thinks that Drew Henson was talked into playing and imagines how much it would sting to be hit with one of his balls. Pugs offers to stand in front of the fence and allow Drew Henson fire all six balls at him, if they show up tonight. Eric thinks that's retarded because Henson can throw a football 80 mph. Pugs remembers that he was a pitcher for the Yankees too. Pugs wants a helmet and Kelly reminds him that he probably has one in his closet from his childhood. heh.

12:38
*break*
12:48

Kelly informs us that Eric will be at Racetrac making an appearance and she thinks that they will need a replacement for the dodgeball team. Pugs thinks that they don't need to worry about finding a replacement. *Jetson's Bells*.... Sean Rouse isn't there and Sybil lets us know that he's going through airport security right now. Pugs plays a message from Sean, "Pugs you *BEEP* selling your boy out you better *BEEP* you better *BEEP* to the show... we're going to the Taste of Addison right now and wanted to know if you wanted to go... call me back or meet us up there or whatever"... Pugs clarifies that Sean said that he's mad at him because he sold him out. Pugs reminds us of the guy code, if a guy is in a situation where he looks like he's going to get laid... stay far away. Kelly explains that is the complete opposite of the female code which states that you must c-block, but it's a different c word, every time you can especially if he's better looking than the one you're with. Pugs tells us that they were at Sherlock's drinking after Sean's killer set at the improv. This hot chick was chatting up Pugs and he thinks she was on GHB. It was obvious that she was going home with him. Pugs thanks the microphone because he knows that if he was selling insurance, he wouldn't' get that opportunity. Pugs proclaims that it's great that she was GHBed out because he didn't have to slip her anything. Kelly thinks that's good because it gets messy and expensive. Sean is drunk and is now the third wheel in the situation. Sean finally gets the hint and taps the girl on the shoulder to say that he was going to go walk around. She rolled her eyes at him. Sean Rouse is now livid and yells to Pugs, " PUGS! This bar whore just rolled her eyes at me!" She got offended that he called her a bar whore and Sean tells her "if the shoe fits". She complains to Pugs that she got called a bar whore and now Pugs is in the middle. Kelly says "can't a guy go out and get a little "P", with a drugged up chick without your drunk friend getting in your way". Pugs wonders how often an off-duty stripper on GHB walks up to you and starts grinding. Kelly wonders where and when they would be. Pugs pulled Sean aside and told him that she is obviously on something and that she was probably just trying to focus. Kelly bets that he was probably doing the same thing. Sean thinks that Pugs sold him out and that he should have defended him.

12:58
*break*
1:09

Pugs catches us up on the story and remind us of the guy code. They play the voicemail message again. Pugs explains what he said without the beeps... "Pugs you Effing A-hole, you sold your boy out, you better Effed her last night, don't bring that effing "C" to the show tonight, hey we're going to the Taste of Addison tonight if you'd like to join us,".... Kelly wonders if she rolled her eyes or lost control of her bodily functions because there is a fine line between the two. A guy calls in to call Sean the worst wing man ever. Sean joins the show and points out how Pugs told the whole story as he listened on hold. Sean explains that she was being a "C" all night. He says that he never would have intentionally c-block somebody. Sean says that Pugs just sat there as she stuck her hand in his face and Pugs reminds him that he called her a bar whore. Sean doesn't remember calling her a bar whore. Sean says that he ran into Francis, calls him Odd Job, the next night and he informed Sean that she stuck her hand in his face. Sean wants to get Francis on the phone to get the story straight and Pugs tells him no. Pugs explains that Sean is a special Irish-Mick/redneck hybrid drunk and that he channels his father when he drinks. Sean admits that it looked like a sure thing for Pugs. Pugs maintained his loyalty to his friend and didn't go home with her and Sean started screaming at him for "selling him out". Pugs explains that Sean gets really surly and his eyes pierce right through you. He has the same venom he has on stage without hitting any punchline. He's just mean. Pugs tells us that Sean not only fell off the wagon, he fell off the wagon, got his arm caught in the wheel, and got dragged a couple of miles. Sean got upset because he was about to be dropped off and Kelly wonders if Sean remembers that the bars in Texas close at 2 AM. Sean remind us that there are some places that allow you bring your own drinks. Pugs tells him that they didn't have any drinks and Sean believes that is when it becomes a mission. Pugs is going to put Sean on trial and let the listeners decide who was right. Sean wants to call Odd Job to the stand. Odd Job/Francis calls in to Sean's side. Francis explains that he didn't say nothing mean to her all night and that she was being a complete bitch. Pugs hangs up on Francis because he's not winning. Pugs admits that she was a bitch to Sean and wonders why he would have to care if she was a bitch to Sean. Sean tells PUgs that he cares that she was a bitch to Sean.

1:24
*break*
1:36

Sean is still on the phone... He asks us to hold and some chick is talking in the background at the airport. He would like to say in his defense that he asked Pugs to tell her that he was cool and that she misunderstood what he said but Pugs just stood there. Kevin calls in to say that Pugs doesn't get many women and that he's been wanting to use those new fine arts products under her bed. Kevin thinks that despite all that, she dissed Sean in a bad way and that Pugs should have recognized that. *That's one for Sean* Chris calls in to agree with Pugs because Pugs doesn't get much action. *That's one for Pugs* Kelly points out how back-handed this is and compares Pugs to the retarded kid that never gets to meet girls. Chris thinks that Sean should "hook up" Pugs next time he's in town to make it up to him. Sean wonders if Chris is a pornographic Doctor Phil "buy your buddy a massage". Greg calls in to say that Sean is right because of the old adage "bros before hoes". *that's one for Sean* Greg points out that Pugs' argument is that he called a bar whore a bar whore. Kelly wonders what happened to "friends don't let friends drive skank". Wayne, Pub and Grub Wayne, calls in to say that they should have both took the girl home and enjoyed her together. Pugs calls Wayne a skanky Australian freak. Sean doesn't want her rolling her eyes while she's humming a Bo Diddley song. Jake calls in to say if you want to ride with outlaws then you should die with outlaws and that the girl was in the wrong.

1:46
*break*
1:55

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. In Justin, Texas, two high school teachers have been put on leave for showing the Nick Berg beheading video. The teachers gave the students permission to leave before they viewed it.
Kelly remind us that nobody wants to be the kid that can't watch something. She brings up the weird bible kid who's parents wouldn't let him in for sex-ed. Pugs and Kelly don't see the point of viewing this in school. Pugs thinks that you should talk about what happened and what leads to fanatics.

2. In Chamblee, Georgia... in the media retrieval system, where they have morning school news cast, a porno was displayed. The entire school watched a porno.
Pugs thinks that Chamblee is a good stripper name and Kelly assures us that Chamblee is Krystal's friend. Kelly is impressed that Georgia is so high-tech. Pugs wonders why that's a story because that has to happen quite often. Kelly would rather have her high school kids see a porno over the Nick Berg video because one is happy and one is horribly depressing.

3. Outside of Boston, a guy named Jonathan Shemp...
Kelly points out that he would be the offspring of Pugs and Shemp.
...had a court date for a public urination charge and decided to ship himself, in a box, outside of the city to avoid the court date...
Pugs plays "your honor"... "your honor, with a name like Shemp, he's obviously a stooge... what do you expect from this guy".
his friend Holeo font's was helping him....
Pugs clarifies with Sybil that it was Jonathan Shemp and hole font's. He compares that to him hanging out with a dude named deceives McGee. Kelly wonders if hole font's is dating Chamblee.
Investigators go to the scene and heard a faint "help". He was in there for four days. They weren't going to ship that box till the end of the month and investigators believe that he would have died from heat exhaustion.
Pugs plays "your honor" again... "Your honor.. my client Jonathan Shemp has moved past the crazy antics that he displayed as a stooge and was attempting to break David Blaine's record for staying locked up in a box."

4. Dodgeball has been recognized as a club sport at Kent State university.
Pugs thought that Kent State changed it name to Kent because of the whole stigma of having their students shot at.

5. Elizabeth Jagger, Mick Jagger's daughter, and Sean Lennon, John Lennon and Yoko Ono's son, were dating but have no split up after one month.
Pugs wonders if their kid would have more talent than Michael Jackson's and Lisa Marie Presley's kid. Kelly reminds us that Jackson wouldn't have slept with her. Kelly and Eric both think that Jagger and Lennon because they both wrote their own songs. Kelly would go with Presley and Jackson for the dancing though.

Pugs says that since they have an opening in the Pugs and Kelly dodgeball team tonight... Here's Greg Hill with sports! Greg says that Brad Sham can't hold his drawers. Pugs tells him not to be "brad mouthing" Brad. Pugs wonders what number Greg would wan on his dodgeball shirt. Greg wants his Texas A & M number, 27. Greg explains that when he went to Kansas City a dumb corner back had his number and he wouldn't sell it back to him. They cut him the next year and he got it for free.

1. The Pacers beat the Heat....
Greg wonders who cares about that.

2. Kelly White, sprinter, has been named in a drug scandal. Marion Jones has also been called out in the same steroid scandal that Barry Bonds is involved with. She is refusing drug test.
Greg bets that she is at home drinking as much water as she can. Kelly bets that she is at the local GNC buying Golden Seal and Greg teaches us that we should go on Tuesday when everything is 30 percent off. Pugs asks Greg how rampant steroid use is in pro-sports. Greg has never personally seen it but knows that it goes on.

3. Kevin Garnet just apologized for his remarks about game 7. He said that he was going home and bringing guns because it's a war out there.
Pugs is outraged that Kevin Garnet had to apologize for this. There has always been a comparison to war and sports. Greg thinks that he was just trying to get into the correct mind set because when he was playing he had to psyche himself up to rip out people's throats.

4. Kerry Collins canceled his visit to Green Bay, where he was going to look into becoming Green Bay's new back up. There is an unnamed player at the Collins' table.

5. Ricky Williams just refused to talk to the media for... smoking weed again.
Greg tells us that Ricky was just trying to relax. Pugs thinks that there are worse rumors about Ricky Williams than the weed smoking. Kelly thinks that he looks real fancy in his dress and dread locks.

2:22
*break*
2:32

It's dodgeball night! There is a major announcement coming. Pugs reminds us that this is the final night of dodgeball. The announcement is... "me fail English... that's unpossible!" Pugs wonders if that is funnier than Bruce explaining what goes on in the sex shops around town... "the leather couch is for comfort and the locks are for privacy and nothing necessarily nefarious about the ability to come watch adult videos in private"... Kelly wonders what President George Bush would have to say about the message they have concerning dodgeball.. "there's an old saying in Tenn.... I know it's in Texas it's probably in Tenn...fool me once... shame on... shame on you... ya fool me ya can't get fooled again" so the announcement is DEDUCIBLE HAS BEEN EXTENDED... INDEFINITELY! Pugs and Kelly think that Metro Limo- Aaron and Tyson are banging there heads. Kelly accidentally hit on another guy by inviting him to Dodgeball again. Pugs wonders if the exhibition game has been set yet. He didn't want to do this because Vollers is a friend of his but if he's not going to answer his phone... then they're just going to have to play his voicemail message... writing doesn't do this any justice.. Your should really hear this. "hey it's KV... not around... go ahead and leave me a message at the beep... and I'll get back at you... later". They all laugh at it. haha... "YAY! I'm KV YAY!". Pugs gets criticized because people claim that he yells on his. Kelly warns that her's is very long-winded "hey, it's Kelly, leave a message". Kelly doesn't want people taking up their phone time when she calls in. Pugs mocks Vollers "hey it's KV... I'm not around... I'm hardcore chillin', I chill harder than anybody". Kelly gets an IM from me saying that I'll leave a message when he wants to talk like a big boy. Pugs compares his message to the Amy Pollard character on SNL. KV is now around... he wonders what the hell is going on. Everyone laughs at him. Pugs wonders if Kurt heard his offer for dodgeball earlier in the show and Kurt stays quiet... and seems to be shifting around. Pugs bets that Kurt is doing some of that "hardcore chillin'" that's he's so famous for. Kurt just can't hear. Pugs starts pushing trivia questions on him... he doesn't get any right until a question about video games. Pugs wonders if he'll play dodgeball tonight and Kurt asks him if he just played his voicemail over the air... they play it again... Kurt assures him he'll be there then.

2:52
*break*
no time...

They play the voicemail again. Kelly says that Pugs is going to get killed and Pugs claims that it's Eric playing it. They play it again... and again. Pugs needs a helmet for the Drew Henson challenge. Kelly reminds us that Josh Cooperman must have a helmet. Pugs agrees that he'll just wear the helmet they make Cooperman wear upstairs so that he doesn't hurt himself. They play Voller's message again.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:55*

I Heard it Dude (IHID)

Sybil Giggle- 53
Bell Dings- 9
Buzzer- 12

comments? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:49*

Pugs wonders how many pissed off stoners are out there today because the Eagle is no more. Kelly heard Smokey Robinson on the air... and she is blessing us with her heavenly voice. Kelly wants to be able to say "I AM THE LIVE!". Pugs thinks that we need more Celine Dione and Spandau Ballet in this town. Kelly agrees that there is too much Tool and Metallica that is contributing to road rage today. Pugs welcomes all the weird-freaky stoner dudes that need to listen to a new station. Pugs plays some Earth Wind and Fire and says that he likes this music but he doesn't have the voice for it. Darrell calls in to that not all the listeners are long haired-tattooed-biker stoner guys and Pugs points out that is why the station went under. All of the advertisers are tattoo parlors and bike shops and the listeners didn't support those businesses. Kelly lets us know that music stations aren't loyal to the listeners so they should all come over to talk. Kelly let's us know that Leslie (The black representation to the show) is very upset that the Eagle is gone. Pugs thinks that the biggest problem is that "the hip hop" is taking over. He points to "The Nelly". There are no definitive rock bands anymore and he calls on all you kids in your garages to step it up a notch. Kelly shows Pugs how old he sounds when he adds the word "the" before everything he says. Kelly teaches us that DJs aren't really good at saving money for retirement and Pugs admits that he wanted to go to a Jaguar auction yesterday. Pugs calls DJs trash with a pay day. Kelly wonders if Pugs has invested any money in a 401K and he admits that he hasn't. Kelly learns that you can't buy "the pot" if you can't have the money. Kelly likes this type of music because it reminds her of being yelled at in her mother's car. "No we can't have the McDonald's tonight... we're going to make the ghetto burgers". Kelly sings some song that nobody knows. A guy calls in and gets dumped and Pugs and Kelly point out that it's people like that curse on the air that got the Eagle blown up. Pugs and Kelly noticed that a certain song went to number one 19 years ago today and they invite listeners to call in to guess. Winner gets 4th anniversary tickets!

12:08
*break*
12:19

Cody fetched Pugs some tea and... Pugs does his Cody impression with a thick Texas drawl "well umm sorry I uh accidentally dropped the tea bag in the umm cup so ya know it's like umm floating around" Kelly does her Pugs impression... "oh can you fish it out for me? I don't know if I can drink it now" Pugs responds with his Cody impression "well I well that water is hot... you want me to stick my hand in there? why can't you get somebody paid to do that?" Kelly and Pugs are in aggreeance that this song could be the song that defined their generation. Robert calls in to guess Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train. A guy calls in to guess Billy Jean. Tara calls in to guess Queen- We Are the Champions. Robert calls in to guess Party like it's 1999. Pugs thinks that "Party Like it's 1999" filled them with false hope about 1999. He couldn't wait to spend the night singing that song. Pugs lets us know that he spent that night on his computer listening to police calls, crying, and contemplating suicide because his wife left him. Carrie guesses beastie Boys- Fight for your Right. Corbin guesses Rebel Yell by Billy Idol and Kelly reminds us that she hates Billy Idol. Mike guesses Smells like Teen Spirit and Kelly teaches this dumb dumb that Nirvana was ten years ago. Chris calls in and guesses "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds.... HE'S RIGHT! Pugs sings along! Kelly loves The Breakfast Club. Her mother hated this movie because it showed how kids just blamed their parents for everything. Pugs thinks that if the Breakfast Club would come out today it would have Avril singing on it. Kelly points out that it wasn't about blaming your parents, it was about blaming cliques in high school. She remembers how some critic said that "John Bender was over the top" but everyone knew a John Bender. Pugs thinks that John Hughes did a great job profiling each type of kid that could be typically found in high school. Pugs and Kelly realize that they didn't identify with any of those characters. Pugs informs us that this song was just killed in a car bomb in Iraq (it's 19... get it?). Kelly feels old.

12:31
*break*
12:37

Pugs and Kelly wonder what Eric would call a defining song of his generation and he points to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Jeremy". Kelly makes fun of how everybody around here claims that they knew the kid that Jeremy was based on. Pugs wonders if Cody's songs are "Friends in Low Places" and "Achy Breaky Heart". Cody says that his defining song would be "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Pugs points out that Cody is 5 years younger than Eric and that he should get his own definitive song. He offers him Chumbawumba. Kelly wonders if Cody had radios where he grew up. They play some more songs from 19 years ago today... "Dire Straights - Money for Nothing"... Sybil guesses that it's ZZ Topp. Kelly sings quietly in the background. Pugs will give Anniversary tickets if they can guess the person singing in the back ground. Kelly thinks you're stupid if you don't know who that is... I KNOW WHO IT IS!.... Kelly sings the "faggot lines". Sybil guesses Phil Collins. A guy guesses Sting... and he's right! Pugs thinks that is interesting because the idea of the song was guys from the 70s making fun of guys in the 80s. He wonders if Sting is one of those "little faggot millionaires". Eric plays Kool and Gang... Pugs has no idea what this is and Kelly recognizes it. Pugs finally realizes what this song is and teaches us that a lot of people their age lost their virginity to this song. Eric plays OMD- Bizarre Love Triangle. Pugs and Kelly remind us that this was the theme from Pretty in Pink.. Kelly acts out the scene "she was in the parking lot with Andrew McCartney... and he left his douchebag friend behind because he didnt' really care about her.. oh I love you, I love YOU!"... Pugs wonders if this song is gay and Kelly clarifies that it isn't gay, it's English. Reese calls in to say that his generation was defined by Hotel California. Pugs and Kelly remember that the analyzed that song back in overnights and learned that song was about them being really high and rhyming. They play Hall and Oates- Out of Touch. Sybil guesses that it's Chicago. Kelly let's her know that she's close because she was living there when she heard that song. Pugs wants to play this game with Tyson and Tyson refuses because he doesn't want to be on the mic. Pugs reveals that it's Hall and Oates.... I love Hall and Oates, no shut up you suck... A guy calls in to offer MC Hammer- Can't Touch this and he even admits that he watched the Hammer cartoon. Kelly remembers that Hammer knocked her over in Las Vegas. Hammer and his guys were walking in a V formation and he didn't break formation for her. Pugs explains that if somebody gets full extension in those genie pants you have to make room. Terrance calls in to say that Puff Daddy- Mo' Money Mo' Problems. Pugs can't remember that song so Kelly tries to sing it for him. She lets him know that song is from the Reagan era and Pugs bets that it's labeled in the Vault as "Song I Like". Pugs and Kelly manage to sing Huey Lewis tunes. Kyle is 19 years old and thinks that Blink 182- Damn it. Tyson screams "that song came out in '97" and Pugs tells him to shut up unless he wants to be on the mic. Kyle... sigh... claims that song is a big punk generation song... sigh... I'm guessing from Kyle's voice that he has no clue what punk is... sigh... Pugs is outraged that this kid could call Blink 182 "punk" because they're such corporate crap. Pugs points to the Clash, the Sex Pistols, and the Dead Kennedys. A guy calls in to offer Beck- Loser. Kelly thinks that was a theme for the slacker generation. Kelly hates the damn slacker kids that have no responsibilities. Pugs and Kelly both knew they wanted to be in radio back in 1985. They play Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey. Sybil guesses that it's Huey Lewis. Pugs likes Phillip Bailey and Kelly wonders what happened to him. Pugs thinks that he might not have big money because he had to split the cash with 30 other band members in Earth, Wind and Fire. Modern English- Melt with You is played. Pugs and Kelly hate this song and Kelly lets us know that it was her prom song. She thought it sucked because you can't possibly dance to this song. Pugs remembers that he had some type of power ballad as his prom song. They play Foreigner- I Want to Know What Love Is. Sybil guesses that it's Richard Marx. Pugs reminds us that we don't like this type of people anymore. They play a little Duran Duran.... hell yeah bitches... Pugs reminds us that Duran Duran was the biggest band in the world back then. They were so big that they had three bands that were successful at the same time, Duran Duran, Power Station, and Arcadia. Eric thinks that Radiohead- Creep was a song that defined his generation. A guy calls in and sings "Walk This Way" and Pugs lets him know that he can't sing unless he promotes the anniversary party. Glenn Frey- The Heat is On... Kelly nutshells the premise of Beverly Hills Cop for us.. "Hi, I'm Eddie Murphy and I'm in the back of a truck... I'm going over to Beverly Hills, I'm a cop... they've never seen black people there".

1:12
*break*
1:24

Pugs received an E-mail from a listener named Alli. She is upset with the word "aggreeance". She tells us that it isn't a real world. Pugs informs her that they say it in mockery of Fred Durst. Kelly reminds us that they looked it up and it turned out that it was a real world.

1. In Farmington Hills, Michigan... This chick named Nancy Semen got into an argument with her husband on Mother's day. She goes to home depot and bought an axe. She came back home and got him in the back of the head with the axe. She then dragged him into the garage and stabbed him repeatedly with a knife, smashed him with a sledge hammer *Pugs plays wacky sound effects* and finally loaded his body in the back of her SUV. The next day she goes to teach her fourth graders. *Jetson's car* After school, she goes to home depot *Jetson's car*.. she bought bleach, brushes, and tarp *cash register*... she got back in her car to go home *Jetson's car*. On Tuesday night, a relative, filed a report that Mr. Semen was missing *obscene sound*. The cops showed up in the house *police sirens* but she tried to get away *Jetson's car*. The cops found receipts in her purse and video tapes from home depot of her buying the stuff. She is in court now and she is claiming that she only did this after years and years of abuse *Law and order Theme*
Kelly can see why he slapped her around because she is obviously a bitch who over reacts. Kelly wonders how long Pugs would have to be missing before they would call the police. Kelly reminds us that co-workers would be the first ones to notice that you would be missing. She informs us that this is why we need to show up to work everyday, so that if you get brutally murdered, people would notice. Pugs is such a hermit roommate that he thinks they would only notice when the smell got to them. Pugs is kind of jealous because he'll come out and see them socializing on the couch.


2. This guy caused two thousand dollars worth of damage in a Motel 6 room because he smeared petroleum jelly all over the place. He had numerous porno magazines in the trash.
Kelly points out that he must be frugal because he was using petroleum jelly instead of vasoline. She thinks that we should go see Bruce X at Planet X to learn why petroleum jelly wouldn't make good lube. Pugs plays a clip of Bruce explaining his business...heh.... "The leather couch is for comfort and the lock is for privacy. Nothing that is necessarily nefarious is going on behind closed doors" Pugs loves how Bruce can say that with a straight face. Kelly adds that the cops are still trying to get a grip on him.

3. Tony Randall died at 84.
Pugs points out that Felix was gay but it was back in the 60s where they couldn't say "gay" on TV. Kelly thinks that Pugs is just jealous because he was neat. Pugs and Kelly both point out that Tony Randall "wasn't gay... he was just funny that way." Pugs thinks that Tony was probably the type of gay guy that saw that the end was near and wanted to leave a legacy behind him.

1:42
*break*
1:58

The ambien is kicking in... finish this one when I wake up from my coma.

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:40*

Sybil and Eric are at stunt school today and Kelly hopes that they don't lose any fingers because they need them to do stuff. Cody is doing all the heavy lifting today. Cody tells his slave masters that he's tired and Pugs tells him to go fetch him some tea. Kelly had a tough weekend and cried on Friday. About 6 times a year, Kelly gets these killer sinus headaches. Pugs reminds us that the Slot Machines at the Game Auction remote probably didn't help her headache too much. At 6 PM that night, they had another appearance to make at Dave and Buster's with even more games. After the show, Kelly wanted to go sit in her car and relax. She couldn't find her keys and began to freak out. Pugs had to drive Sean Rouse back to Addison from Mesquite. Kelly started crying because she just wants to leave. Tyson was on his way to come get her and he asked her if Pugs or Sybil may have grabbed her keys. She scolded him because Pugs and Sybil wouldn't grab her keys. Kelly decided to call Pugs and ask him. Pugs is in Addison, 45 minutes away, in Friday Dallas traffic. Pugs didn't think he had her keys and Kelly started wigging out on the phone. About that time, Pugs realized that he had her keys in his pockets. Pugs apologizes for stealing her keys. They do the appearance at Dave and Busters and Kelly is doing better. She played skee ball and space invaders. She had a bloody Mary and beer. Tyson was going to go out with some buddies and she could care less because she is having fun. Everyone is happy and then suddenly, Kelly doubled over and began to spit up everywhere. She ended up accidentally Pugs' spit cup. Kelly has been throwing up all weekend and Pugs feels guilty. Pugs has been chewing since 8th grade and had 4 people drink his spit. He lets us know that two people in the last two weeks drank it. Tyson threw Kelly into the bathroom and some listeners brought her some water and gum. Kelly was eating a Caesar salad and started flashing back to the incident and vomited. Tyson hits Pugs on his shoulder and demanded that he quit chewing now.

11:55
*break*
12:05

Pugs thinks that a great example of Pugs and Kelly's relationship was on display on Saturday afternoon. He went to send Kelly flowers as a way to apologize for ruining her day Friday. Unfortunately, he realized that he had no idea where she lives. Kelly reminds us that she's asked Pugs where he lives but, he refuses to tell her where he lives. Pugs went to Sherlock's and everyone is having a good time. Pugs wants to know what do you do when you're hanging out with people from out of town. Kelly says that you do shots. One of the people in the party, not extremely close to Pugs but still a friend, has a well-documented drinking problem. Pugs thinks that people with drinking problems should stay out of the bars because they kill the fun. Kelly wonders if it's ok to drink heavily around them. As soon as they walked in, Pugs proclaimed that they should do a round of shots. He instantly wished he didn't say that but, thought he should just order a large amount of shots and see if the person would take one. The first one to grab a shot was Drinky McDrunkdrunk. Pugs asked him if that was a good idea and he told him that it probably wasn't a good idea but he wants to have a good time. He only wanted to have fun in Dallas for the weekend. Pugs points out that the drunks that don't cause any trouble and pass out by 12:30 aren't in AA. The only drunks you see in AA are the ones that get surly. Pugs got criticized by a member of his inner-circle for being an enabler. Pugs reminds us that he's a grown man, he's 33 years old... wait 34... Pugs always forgets his age, and he's a grown man. He is capable of making his own decision. Kelly wants to know if Pugs was happy that he fell off the wagon and Pugs admits that he was extremely happy. He's a fun drunk until he gets surly but when he gets surly, he's manageable. Pugs explains that if Tyson was a mean drunk then he'd be unmanageable but, if this guy was to pick a fight, he'd get punched once and would take a nap. Pugs wonders what is the responsibility of a member of a group when one of those members are battling demons. Pugs lets us know that everyone in the party had the metro-limo and that was why everyone was getting piss drunk. Betsy calls in and tells us that she's been in recovery for three years. She thinks that he is his own keeper. Pugs wonders if Betsy goes to bars and she says she does. She says that if you do everything that you're suppose to do in recovery then it's not tempting to drink. Pugs wonders how her friends treat her and she explains that she learned that most people can drink socially but, she isn't one of them. Betsy teaches us that when she was drinking it wouldn't matter to her if anybody else was drinking, she'd be the only drunk person in the room.

12:22
*break*
12:54

We're back with more drunky drunk dunkard talk. Pugs received an E-mail that tells him that he did the right thing. When you asked him if he should be doing this, that was as far as you could go. Kelly wonders if you should stop a married man from hitting on other women. Kelly thinks that what complicates the situation is that there are certain people that are more fun drunk. Pugs reminds us that they aren't close friends, they're drinking buddies. Pugs points out that the "do-gooder" friend that gave him a hard time wasn't trying to stop him either. Kelly thinks that the older she gets the less likely she'll condone self-destructive activities. She feels that drinking is different though. Jason calls in to say that he has a friend that's married and he constantly hits on women. Jason won't ever tell him not to act like that. Pugs thinks that Jason's situation and Pugs' situation is different because Jason's friend is destroying two people. Mike calls in to ask Pugs if he would invite a compulsive gambler to a poker game. Mike thinks that Pugs is pointing a person in the wrong direction if you invite a person with a drinking partner to a bar. Kelly reminds us that bars are the only places open at 12 at night. Pugs' family is filled with alcoholism and he firmly believes that it's not a disease. If you drop a drunk on a deserted island then they don't have a drinking problem anymore. Kelly has sympathy for people who can't seem to break the habit but, comparing it to cancer is ridiculous. If you were to drop a cancer patient on a deserted island, he would still have cancer.

12:54
*break*
1:07

Sybil and Eric call in from L.A.. They attended the stunt awards last night and Sybil calls it awesome. Pugs has been asked by two people if Eric and Sybil are going to hook up. Eric tells us that they're like brother and sister and would never do that. Sybil is in her room right now and brags that she can see downtown and the Hollywood sign.... bragger always bragging... Eric is on the Hollywood walk of fame... Eric is a big friggin' bragger too.... Sybil has a bit of a hang over and that's why she is getting a late start. Sybil brags that Michele Rodriguez, The Rock, Michael Bay... Pugs and Kelly have no idea who that is and Pugs remembers that he is a big time disaster movie director. Eric pissed him off by asking him if he was called Michael Gay in high school. They also met Kevin Nealon and Kelly wonders if he was sweeping up. They let us know that he was doing a stand up act. Sybil says that he was slamming Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and then... "guess who showed up?".... Kelly guess governor Schwarzenegger and thinks this story would be crap if that's not right. Sybil confirms Kelly's guess and Kelly wonders if the governor was staring at her chest. Pugs wonders if they were wall flowers or if they were mixing it up. Sybil says that at first they sat back and watched a bit but after a while they started mingling. Kelly clarifies that "after a while" is code for "after a few drinks". Pugs brags that Sam the Mailman, in Sybil's absence, booked Dave Chapelle, Keith Olbermann, and Doug from Trading Spaces. Sam is about to do Sybil's news and Pugs lets us know that he's got a new twist on the news. Eric wonders if it's a gay twist. Sam thinks that Eric has no place to question somebody's sexuality. He explains that at Duke's last week Eric and his friend Same Penis Mike offered to take Sam in the bathroom and show him their stuff. Sybil wants to wait on hold to hear Sam's news.

1:17
*break*
1:28

Pugs got an angry E-mail that proclaims that she is not listening anymore. She hates Pugs. Pugs wants to know what he did to tick her off and Kelly theorizes that it's that Pugs called alcoholism a disease.

SAMILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. Kelly Roland of Destiny's Child is engaged to Dallas Cowboys' safety Roy Williams.
Pugs wonders why Roy Williams is getting married because he's a rich 23 year old who's one the best football players in the NFL. Pugs thinks that he may just have not seen a piece of ass like her before because he went to school in Oklahoma.

2. Tara Reid has hooked up with Kyle Boller, Baltimore Ravens Quarterback.
Pugs reminds us that she was banging Tom Brady not too long ago. Pugs and Kelly agree that Tara Reid could considered just as skanky as Courtney Love.

3. Box Office Results.
1. Troy... Pugs asks Sybil if she would have gone with the Box Office so soon. She says that she she would have started out with wacky then go to entertainment and it would have been her first entertainment story. She also would have started with number 5 first.
5. Man on Fire
4. Breaking All the Rules
3. Mean Girls
2. Van Helsing
1. Troy.

Kelly wonders if Homer would be please if he was to know that his work was being recreated with Brad Pitt. Pugs points how "Homer-Erotic". I IM Kelly to let Sam know that he needs to giggle like a girl more.

4. John Kerry's daughter had a picture taken of her that revealed her nipples through her dress.
Pugs is going to have decide his vote with who's daughters show off the goods more.

5. The girl from last week's story that was told by a judge that she couldn't be pregnant is pregnant.

Sam loves this next story... Pugs points out that Sybil always says that.

6. There is an epidemic striking the water parks in England.
Kelly doesn't like how this story is going and informs us that this is why she doesn't let her kids go in the ball pits at playgrounds. The other kids go in there and vomit and poop in there.
Sam continues... People are forgetting to take their artificial limbs.
Pugs wonders why so many people are limbless there. He thinks that people without limbs just swim in a circle.

7. The Passion of the Christ is going to be release on DVD.
Pugs thinks that this movie is going to bomb on DVD because nobody wants that in their house.

Southpark is going to release a DVD with three religious themed episodes.
Pugs admits that he thinks South Park is brilliant because of how satire used.

8. One of the "lesbians" from Tatu is pregnant by her long-time boyfriend... who is married and has a child.
Kelly points out that wouldn't make her a lesbian then.. .it would just make her trashy.

9. Jerry Springer is going to be a delegate for Ohio at the Democratic convention.
Kelly thinks that is the strangest thing and Pugs reminds us that he was mayor of Cincinnati.

10. The Queer Eye guys are coming to Texas this summer looking for straight guys in Dallas and Fort Worth.
Kelly lets us know that the show has a nominee.

Sybil lets us know that Samilization as we know it was OK.

1:51
*break*
2:03


Pugs has heard that he screams on his voicemail. He calls it and... he's not screaming. Kelly wonders if Aaron tolds him that he screams because Aaron likes to mess with him for no reason. Pugs got a phone call at 3 AM the other night from a girl that didn't give her name. Pugs plays the message... she's wasted and asking if Pugs wants to party. She leaves her number... it's a 972 number... and completely slurs the whole thing. Pugs would have loved to come over and party but who the hell was that?

more in the morning... here is the nutshell...

Pugs needs help decorating.

2:18
*break*
2:27

Sopranos talk... Pugs and Kelly hated the episode.

2:46
*break*
2:52

Pugs loved Manson TV movie last night and thinks that he needs to pick up dating tips from the racist crazy dude.

*"I'm Coming Home" @ 2:57*


I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Sam Giggle- 8
Sybil Giggle- 28
Dings- 41
Buzzer- 6
Comments about Eric being gay- 2
Comments about Sam being gay - 1

Comments? E-mail Will at Will@pugsandkellylive.com