I took the Ambien but I'm thinking I'll be able to focus enough to pull this off... so, here we go. I'm also having big time computer troubles and I'm afraid that I'll do al;l this typing in vain. I'm probably going to have to go to another place to type all this out later this week... so, if anybody wants to maybe drop a new kick ass computer in front of my door... thank you.

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:51*

Kelly is upset about some changes and threatens to quit before that happens. Pugs teases Kelly with his Viking hat with real Yak fur. Pugs wonders if there are actually yaks in Iceland or if they just club baby seals instead. Pugs and Kelly are going to Iceland soon and now Kelly is upset that they have to spend some time in Minneapolis. Pugs wants to know what there is to do there. Kelly wonders why they have to go to Minnesota to get to Iceland and she suggest that the plane has to maintain a certain temperature. Kelly tells Anthony that he sucks and Pugs points out that he's excited while she's down. Kelly is curious about the food situation cause she's weary of foreign food. She doesn't suspect that other countries have a FDA. Pugs reminds us that food in Europe sucks and Kelly agrees. Pugs isn't a big fan of the boiled hamburger. Kelly wonders what's so great about playing golf at midnight and Pugs teaches her that that it's because it's normally dark at that time but in Iceland it's not. Kelly doesn't sound too excited. Pugs has done some research and found out that prostitution is legal. He also reminds us that Nordic women are tall, blonde, and love Americans. Kelly is looking forward to that because she'll be considered exotic. A girl calls in to say you can hang out at the Mall of America and Pugs tells Kelly that he'll buy her a corny dog.

12:02
*break*
12:20

It's time for the Pugs and Kelly institute for human growth and development. We got an E-mail from Doug in Bedford. Doug is 50 and getting divorced from a cheating spouse of 25 years. He went to a stripclub and met a really nice girl. He thinks they relate well and seem to be really good friends. Kelly hopes he doesn't say that the girl at Hooters is into him too. He tells us that she is only 25. Pugs and Kelly teach us that 25 is young in real people age but old in stripper years. She also has three small children. They are talking about getting a home and starting a life together. Pugs and Kelly wonders what other sizes kids come in. He calls her the most together person he has ever met and wonders if it's silly. Pugs tells us that there are two different types of strippers. The really responsible, no blow problem, works regularly, stays out of the "scene" and then the kind that blow all their cash on blow, their boyfriends band equipment, and have to work really hard at the end of the month. Pugs and Eric bring up how the strippers and managers they know claim that they make a grand a night. Matthew calls in to say that he's dated strippers before and he thinks that if she has three kids, she's looking for a father figure.

12:31
*break*
12:40

Sybil just got an E-mail. "Ask Pugs if the girl that he was sitting with at Sherlock's on Friday night with the old girl is somebody he is interested in..." Pugs can't remember being at Sherlock's on Friday but Kelly assures him he was. Switching focus back to the oldie and the stripper talk. Pugs rereads the E-mail. Cathy calls in to say that he should run as far away as possible. She warns us that they all have a sob story and they're all actresses. Pugs and Kelly wants this to work because they feel bad for him. Kelly is reminded of the old saying, "You don't really know somebody until you've dated them for 1.5 years" and she believes that you have to double that for a stripper. Heather calls in to say that she was a dancer. She informs Pugs that he's hearing inflated prices (1000 night), Sybil says that you can make that in one night but that's a really good night. Heather says that when you come into a strip club, you're a customer and it is hard to get over that to spill it over into a personal relationship. Pugs clarifies that not all strippers are loose cannon machines and Kelly is sure that there are some DJ's out there that aren't train wrecks. Pugs admits that there are a lot of similarities between DJs and strippers. Chris calls in to say she was a dancer and that she would make over a grand, once in a blue moon. She never was a drug girl but, she tried it once. It didn't allow her to function at work. She was paranoid and couldn't make eye contact with her costumers. Chris says that girls played guys all the time for cars and trips. Kelly is disturbed that it seemed like they're just meeting at the club. Chris admits that she used guy for the cash and gifts once. Michael, club manager, calls in to say that there are girls that barely make $75 but, there are also girls that make a grand a night. The girls don't tell the other girls because they don't want people jumping on their customers. Michael tells us that the girls have to drag the guys along for the cash and that they've perfected that art. Another Michael calls in and says that the strippers can't be trusted. He dated a couple strippers and finds certain qualities in their characters. He thinks that there most be something wrong with you to be able to do that for a living. Michael admits that he had to do it one time and that he isn't proud of it. He also warns that strippers are surrounded by temptation at all times and better offers always come. Pugs thinks he has to get her to stop dancing. Sarah calls in and tells us that she's an ex-"topless engineer". Sarah believes that it's possible that they are in love but she must be able to quit, get a 9 to 5 job, and maintain a schedule. Pugs and Kelly remind us that strippers can't function that way. They tell us that if they want 5 strippers at an event then they'll have to invite 25 to insure that they'll get some to show up. Chris calls in to say he got duped. He was a regular with one stripper who gave him a sob story. He slept with her once, and gave her almost all his cash. She quit and went to a different club and he found out she lied to him the whole time, she had no kids and was married. Pugs tells Doug to be careful.

1:11
*break*
1:26

Kelly apologizes for the awful dish direct commercial she did and says that it's because she blocks out Eric during the breaks. Pugs thinks it's Eric's fault because he doesn't have interesting things to say. The guy that e-mail Pugs about the girl at Sherlock's E-mailed Sybil again... "Pugs was chilling with a group of guys and two girls. One chick was pretty hot but one girl was kind of older. Pugs talked to the hot one. The two girls called the E-mailer over and he went to go buy drinks. When he got back all the guys had swarmed the girls and he wonders if the C.B. was intentional. If it was and somebody came home with them than that's cool but, if not that's messed up because he was going to go home with her"... Pugs says that he had relations with the cute girl a long time ago but, none of his guys went home with her.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!!!!

1. Virginia has a new billboard campaign that's designed to dissuade younger girls getting pregnant by older men. "Isn't she a little young?" and "Sex with a minor? Don't go there!" are being displayed.
Pugs isn't attracted 13 year olds and reminds us that 13 year old girls look like 13 year old girls. Virginia makes Pus gag. He thinks that Richmond and the suburbs of DC are nice but south of Richmond is just skanky. Pugs believes that West Virginia is the most beautiful state with nothing going for it and suggest somebody with class goes over their to fix that place. Kelly compares West Virginia to... "the people that you don't want to have anything to do with's people that they don't want to have anything to with".... Tony calls in to say that he's from West Virginia and Pugs asks him what the hell is wrong with his state. Tony has no idea why it's a crap hole and assures us that he never plans on going back there for anything.

2. In Douglas, Massachusetts, A man pleaded not guilty to assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. A man was letting people in in traffic and the accused threw hot coffee on him when he pulled up and scolded him.
Pugs thinks that you should lock him up because he can't control his emotions. Kelly and Sybil hate people that speed by you to cheat their way into traffic. Eric and Pugs claim that they have perfected that art but, they don't let other people in when they do it. Michele calls in and complains that not everybody that's doing that is trying to be a jerk. She's new to town and she doesn't always know what's going on in these new road systems.... a cat fight ensues between Michele and Kelly and I can't take notes because I'm laughing too hard.... there's screeching cat noises being played and it's silly!.... David calls in to say that he drives a truck and a guy pulled out in front of him in that manner. He hit him and the other guy got the ticket for it.

1:48
*break*
2:01

The ambien is kicking in and my computer is crapping on me so I'll do a quick recap and then try to finish it up tomorrow....

more news and as always... this turns into a musical! Every one sings INXS songs.

2:28
*break*
2:42

The guy that didn't give the foul ball to the kid is a big fat stupid jerk.

*Mel Torme @ 2:56*

I Heard It Dude (IHID)
NOTE!!!: I don't know how accurate this IHID is because to be honest... my attention span is that of a puppy on meth lately.

Sybil Giggle- 27
Bell Dings- 8
Buzzer- 2


Don't forget to do the dodgeball tomorrow... do the dodgeball or be a loser.

Comments? E-mail Will @ will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto De Melodica" @ 11:36*

Pugs' voice is harsh again because he went a little nuts over the weekend. He had a great time yesterday and Kelly reminds us that Sneaky Pete's throws a great party especially when you're incredibly drunk. Kelly wants to send a "shout out" to somebody. Dr. Moon has a drug rep. that was hearing the show and took note of Kelly's complaints about her sinus headaches. He believed that it sounded more like a migraine and told Dr. Moon about it. Dr. Moon agreed and now Kelly has a great new wonder drug. Pugs has had many head injuries and loves the excederin. Kelly use to take 20 pills and now only has to take one for her headaches. She was in North Carolina this weekend for one of Tyson's good friend's wedding. Kelly wonders why Tyson kept her away from these friends because they're awesome. Kelly informs us that the groom had his ex-girlfriend, that everyone assumed he was going to marry, give a reading. Pugs and Kelly wonder who the hell would want to allow that. Kelly isn't sure if she would invite her ex-husband to her next wedding. Pugs didn't even want to know about his ex-wife.

11:47
*break*
11:59

We're back with more crazy wedding talk. Kelly reminds us that Tyson is a little stubborn and Pugs is shocked. Everyone at the wedding thought it was just a stupid joke until she actually started speaking. Kelly was drinking vodka cranberry because she thought it would be the best drink for her illness. Kelly got so drunk that she offered to ask the girl about the weirdness of the situation. Pugs is amused that out of all the football players, Kelly had the biggest balls. The girl explained to Kelly that she was marrying another guy and Kelly asked her if it was because he was getting married. Pugs thinks that the kids should be at the next wedding because they have to accept. However, the ex-husband shouldn't be there. If the kids need to be taken care of there are uncles around to watch them. A girl E-mails to say that her fiance's best friend and college roommate was her ex-boyfriend. That ex is going to be a groomsmen at their wedding and she wants some advice. Pugs and Kelly wonder how many people would be friends after something like that. Pugs brings up the George Harrison/Eric Clapton situation. He explains that if he was a good friend or a family member, he wouldn't want the groom's or the bride's ex there because it reminds him that this union isn't that special. Kelly explains that she dumped him and Pugs thinks that he had her to speak just to prove to her that he moved on. Eric says that he was at a wedding recently and 3 of the groom's men had slept with the bride. A different Eric calls in to say that his wife's ex-husband, who abused drugs and her, was the one to give her away at their wedding. Kelly doesn't think she'd want to be around a guy that use to beat her. Lisa calls in to say that her best friend married her sister's ex-husband. They have a 13 year old child that doesn't know that his daddy was married to his aunt. A guy calls in to say that he and his wife attended her ex's funeral. Pugs and Kelly think that's great because that means you won. Kelly wants tomorrow's topic to be "is it better to marry a widow or a divorcee?". Josh calls in to say that the reason why he had his ex speak was because he was still sleeping with her. Kelly doesn't think so because she lives out of town. Josh says that he was still sleeping with his ex when he had her speak at his wedding.

12:20
*break*
12:30

Pugs and Kelly had an article back home about their dodgeball and Pugs realizes that he had nobody to share it with but Aaron. Kelly asked her kids "what was best in life" and McKenna replied "Money, so you can buy things!".... Apparently nobody taught her that the correct answer is "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women! ".... Pugs points out that she is raising the typical Dallas girl and thinks that McKenna needs to win the lotto. Pugs and Kelly assure us that they wouldn't quit if they won 100 million dollars. Gavin would hate them though because they wouldn't take any crap from people. Pugs went out on Saturday and Aaron called him to ask him to buy a lot of lotto tickets to give to him. Pugs thanked him for reminding him about it but wasn't going to buy Aaron the tickets. He explains in their relationship, Pugs pays for all the drinks and stuff and Aaron provides the transportation. Pugs knew that he would never see the twenty bucks back. Aaron assured him that he'd give him half if he won. Pugs said he'd go, buy his own, and give Aaron some. Aaron agreed if Pugs would just give him half. Pugs would consider giving money to his friends but doesn't want to be forced into it. Chris calls in to remind us that the government takes a lot out for taxes. Pugs says that's too bad... cause 60 million dollars just isn't enough to justify him playing the lotto. He really needs to have the money from 12 lifetimes.. not just 9. Pugs was worried that this debate with Aaron would have affected the karma of the game because that's the trick behind it. Aaron calls in and tells us to hold so that he can talk to the bank teller. Aaron explains that he called Rob to tell him to buy 2 tickets and Pugs called him back. Kelly asks if Aaron would give money out and Aaron wonders how much Pugs wants. Joe calls in to say that the jackpot is up to 120 million because nobody won. Pugs wants to send Cody out all day on Wednesday to buy lotto tickets. Pugs apologizes to Aaron for almost breaking up yesterday. Sybil lets them know that they were almost kicked out of Sneaky Pete's for swearing at each other too loudly. Pugs heard that Aaron was moping around and that bothered him.

12:51
*break*
1:03

Gutter E-mails to say that the Fort Worth Star Telegram did an article on dodgeball without mentioning Pugs and Kelly. Pugs lets us know that The Chicago Tribune, over 1000 miles away, did a story on Pugs and Kelly dodgeball and he thinks it's sad that one of the hometown papers couldn't mention the local dodgeball movement. Pugs reads the article...

READ THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE ARTICLE HERE!

OK, I was having a hard time keeping up so I taped this segment.... I'll have to go through the tapes later today and then blog it... but hey, am I not kicking ass on these really quick updates or what?