Pugs and Kelly Dodgeball at Duke's Original Roadhouse, it can only be summed up in one word "awesomeriffickickassivenessism".
There seemed to be many new teams out there tonight and a hundred billion spectators. The beer flowed, the competition was hot, the women were hotter, dreams were shattered, and heroes were made, on this dodgeball night.
TC and his crazy gambling buddies were back this week and this time... in yellow. TC read about Pugs and Kelly dodgeball in the Chicago Tribune. Having business in Dallas, he convinced his business associates to come with him to Duke's on a Wednesday night two weeks ago. Since each associate is from a different part of the country, this show blogger will be the first to announce, we have gone national. I was talking with a few of the guys after the tournament and they told me that they can't see an event like this in their hometowns. A couple even shared their desire to start up their own league.
Here they are with their favorite players to watch and bet on... James "Napoleon" Hamrick and "The Juggernaut" Don Davidson.
Injuries. Every sport has injuries. From minor cuts and bruises to career ending knee injuries, it's just how it is in the sports world. Dodgeball is no exception.
Here we see Derick Gilpin, former WAP, leading an offensive while sporting a scrap on his knee. Some people would go home crying to their mothers that the mean dodgeball people forced them to scrap their knee. Momma would comfort them in their warm bosom and bake them cookies. Derik is no mamma's boy.
This arm belongs to Pugs. Pugs lost a chunk of his arm being a super bad ass dodgeball player. I also got some of his blood on my shirt but that's OK... I'm Asian and I'm really good at doing laundry.
This was a scary moment for everyone. For a brief moment, it looked as though former WAP James Hamrick's dodgeball career was over. He sat out the rest of this game and then was back to catching 8 inch rubber balls like a steel trap. I talked to him about this shortly after his match, he told me that he just fell on his ankle funny and assured me that it wasn't going to keep him from competition.
This is Tanner from Jesus Christler Supercar. While James' leg injury wasn't anything serious, Tanner's was.... He messed up his knee quite nasty about a month and half ago. He's been recovering it ever since and he's been finding himself on the court more and more every week. He really shouldn't be playing, he has 8 weeks till he's back at 100 percent, but... who can stay away from that caged-concrete warzone? Tanner doesn't run around anymore though. His teammates protect him from getting whacked and get him the ball... he then throws the hardest damn underhand pitch around.
No injury is more feared and dreaded (yes, I know that's redundant but it's that scary) than the infamous nut shot. For some reason, balls are attracted to penis. It's as if there is some type of rubber magnetism to junk area. This is just one of the many nut shots that I saw tonight. There is always a lot of people getting whacked... but tonight it was unreal. I blame the full moon... I don't really know if there was a full moon but, yeah, I blame that. Smith, official African-American representative of the Pugs and Kelly show and former WAP, killed a guys' nuts. I beg you people... wear the cups. Dodgeball is serious stuff but so is sterility.
One nut shot that everybody heard though was the one that former WAP Don Davidson
received. Who was the perpetrator of this ball-to-ball meeting? His arch-rival James Hamrick. If you recall, two weeks ago James and Don were entrenched in one of their legendary one-on-one battles that was concluded with Don using James' genitals as a kick drum. Well, James returned that favor in the same manner. Congratulations James, you won this round.
Another victim of abuse is the fence on Court A. 14 weeks ago, this fence was fresh. Brand new and sparkling. Now... well, Dodgeball is a rough sport. Sometimes people run into fences. Sometimes, the fence falls over. Sometimes, the fence gets tossed around like a 110 pound child molester in state prison. Sometimes... the fence gets completely broken off at the welding. Buddha, from the Sun Bru Ballers team, is a big guy that really gets into dodgeball. He's a passionate player and as of roughly 7:45 PM on June 30, 2004, he's a human wrecking ball. I was unable to get a picture of him actually going through the fence... for that I apologize to everyone and myself (I wanted that damn picture). I was able to get a picture of him helping out with the reconstruction effort along with Cody and Bruce X.
So the fence on court A is now officially held together on every post by zip ties. Strangely though, this didn't happen ever again tonight... until...
That's James Hamrick laying on the ground after crashing through the fence during the midnight feature game... more on that later.
Strategy is the name of the game now. Brute strength and speedy legs alone won't send you to dodgeball greatness anymore. The pass back is quickly becoming a huge factor. I noticed the Sun Bru Ballers team using this technique to their advantage. On the opening rush for the balls, they keep a couple of guys back behind the back line. The guys that run up to the balls pass back to the guys waiting then, they take out a few of the players that are struggling for balls. It's a good way to thin the herd quickly and to catch people off guard. The weakness to this technique is that this happens so quickly that sometimes the official can't see what happened. This could mean that while you may have gotten somebody out according to the rules, the official may think that you never went behind the back line before you threw thereby, not allowing the elimination. Either way, keep your heads up folks. I've covered the homo-erotic technique in previous dodgeball blogs... check the archives if you find yourself questioning that method of play. If you find yourself questioning yourself for staring too hard at two or three sweaty men, holding balls, bending over and getting in front of each other for security... well, I suggest visiting Planet X adult superstore in Garland. I'm sure Uncle Bruce X will have alternative lifestyle geared merchandise for those of you in need (he also has a great selection of straight stuff too). Call 972.271.3326 for directions.
The Super Pugs and Kelly Amazing All-star dodgeball team made their triumphant return to the dodgeball arena. The challenge was layed down during the show today... Fox 4, prove that you aren't scaredy cats, (little known fact: Fox 4 chickened out of playing dodgeball with a few of the players last Friday morning)... Fox 4 showed up and at midnight, it was dodgeball time.
Seeing as how Eric, James, and official sports guy Greg Hill wasn't around, the newest one night only interns Ian Hall, James Hamrick, and Don Davidson.. valiantly stepped up into those vacant spots. The action was fierce. James Hamrick crashed through the fence, Smith killed a guy again, Pugs was an animal and got a good amount of people out, Cody disappear while playing again.. he was later found in wedged in a crack in the cement, and Kelly smiled, Don and Ian provided the same ferocity that they always display... this deadly combination lead to a complete and utter Fox 4 ass whipping. It's obvious why the Pugs and Kelly show team doesn't play as often anymore, they dominate way too much.
Kristen may not be much of a dodgeball player but, she's a hell of a magician. Look at how she magically levitated that ball. Wow, you got to love a woman that smoking beautiful, is willing to play a rough sport she never played before in bare feet at a bar, and has magical abilities.
Here is Pugs displaying his "I kicked your ass" face (haha... assface) and his victory arm raise.
I want to congratulate Liquid Paper... for once again winning the A bracket.
I want to also congratulate the team that won the B bracket, Lost (if anybody from this team is reading this... is that your whole name? I got the feeling I'm getting an abbreviated version of it... if I am could you E-mail me at Will@pugsandkellylive.com?) Lost was quite impressive and I welcome them to compete in the A bracket next week. Them boys gots some arms.
The A bracket and B bracket had their usual best 3 out of 5 face off at the end of the night and while the A bracket winners were waiting for the B bracket to close, I over heard a few marquee players commenting on how good Lost was. There was also a bit of fear of their arms. In the end, Liquid Paper bested Lost in a thrilling competition.
Will's Amazing Player (WAP) of Week 14 is... David Sahyouni of Spare Parts. David is a die hard. He's been coming out since week one and his skills have improved more and more each week. He seemed to have a rocket in his arm and he found himself taking out some of the top players all night. How can you achieve this if you aren't a top player as well? I also want to say that the competition for my WAP this week was quite fierce so, I want to give David even more credit for rising to the top tonight. Congratulations David Sahyouni, you are a WAP, this dodgeball fan salutes you.
comments/nudey pictures/suggestions/cash donations? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com
