YO! Welcome to the Texas State Fair! Pugs and Kelly are broadcasting LIVE from a picnic table next the the horse barn in the Budweiser pavilion. They immediatly grab an average fair patron, Jackie, who was actually looking for Pugs and Kelly. Pugs has never been much of a fair type guy, but Sybil loves the fair and has to explain the appeal. Kelly and Pugs are concerned about the potential of rain, and then, in a bout of attention deficit, they discuss the world's smallest horse. Kelly asks Eric to speculate on the appearance of the average fair goer, and Pugs mentions that he's seeing a boatload of cowboy hats.

They tease the rest of the show, and Kelly is attacked by a bee. Kelly then is in the middle of describing a new segment, but Pugs interrupts to point out a guy with a gigantic beer gut. The new bit is Don Jamison, the standup comedian, doing a manly recap of Oprah, so all the fine dudes of our listening audience can know what their chicks are watching.

Bruce Springstein needs to shut up and sing.

**BREAK**

Pugs and Kelly reset from the break with a quick description of their location within the state fair. Pugs notes that they should keep a tally of people missing limbs, and Kelly agrees. They speculate on the reason a guy was missing his arm.

After seeing an fat lady munching ice cream, Kelly says she’d never eat ice cream in public or go to a buffet if she was morbidly obese like that.

They announce that they will be missing the debate tonight.

Rolling Stone has a story on the Rock for Change concert, which whole heartedly fits the general agenda of the editor/publisher. We get a few blurbs from the participants. Dave Matthews announces he’s an immigrant (South Africa) and describes how the world is afraid of the US. Natalie Dixie Chick chimes in with crap. Chuck D says the most rational statement of all the other quotes. We hear from Maroon 5, Mellencamp, and Wilco, who takes a random stab at Billy Ray Cyrus. After a quick review of the Black Eyed Peas, the wind blows away a bunch of naked pictures for the Mr Skin segment… great for all the kids of the fair to pick up along the way. Eddie Vedder gives us his obvious two cents against Bush.

**BREAK**

Before we start Sybil’s news, Syb points out a shoeless guy… another addition to the freak show of the general public. Then the hot chick from Coconuts, Alana, who looks like Christina Aguilera, walks by and we talk to her for a second. They review the upcoming appearance of Pugs and Kelly at the crazy luau at Coconuts tonight.

Sybilization as We Know It:

Flower Mound police report that some parents allowed their kids to have a party at the house a while back…

wait, we’ve been interrupted by a six year old Sting fan who gets up to the mic and sings a Sting song no one knows. Kelly prompts him to sing Desert Rose and he completely SUCKS. Get out of here, butthead. Back to the news…

So there was that party that the parents consented to… they allowed the kids to drink on condition they stay the night, and a chick got laid at the party and is blaming the folks.

From Cali… an 11 year old girl got in an argument with the babysitter and started strangling the dog, the babysitter removes her from the dog and the little girl attacks her 34 year old babysitter with a shovel, a bat, a bb gun, and a machete. Police arrested the little girl an hour later on her bike, trying to get away.

Brandon Boyd of Incubus was stopped in the airport with a knife.

Barbara Bush, the young one, went to a naked party at Yale.

Martha Stewart checks into the slammer.

Melissa Etheridge has breast cancer.

Hattricks sponsers the news, they are having a watching party with us this Sunday from noon-2pm… come win some Hall and Oates tickets and watch the Cowboy game with us!!!

***BREAK****

Pugs announces he’s been drooling for some MILF meat lately, and we talk to Mr Skin.

Pugs and Kelly see a bunch of kids standing around and get Larry to turn off the broadcast at the fair for this segment.

Lindsay Lohan turned 18 this summer, so Pugs doesn’t feel so icky about wanting her. Hillary Duff, however, is still 17.

Friday Night Lights is coming out this weekend. Looks VERY promising!

Claire Daines has a topless scene in a chick flick coming up. Nice boobs, but the movie is estrogen poop.

There’s a Catherine Denugan and Susan Sarandon girl/girl scene in a new movie on DVD called The Hunger.

Sarah Roche (spelling?) appears in Gypsy 83 with THE BIGGEST ALL NATURAL BREASTS in Mr Skin history!!! *SOUND THE HORNS*

The Door in the Floor, that has Mimi Rogers full frontal nude, and a brief Kim Bassinger topless scene.

In the European version of The Rapture, there’s more naked girls and David Duchoveny’s weiner.

Thank you Skin!


***BREAK***


Kelly ate a giant turkey leg. YUM!!! She wonders why such a cumbersome food item comes with a side of barbeque sauce... maybe so you can look like even more of a slob?

Don Jamison, the stand up comedian, joins us over the phone for his new segment. He's supposed to watch the wussy girly shows and update the men... but his title sucks...

Sybil's are much funnier... Don does the ladies... The View View... the Jamisonian Institute... are you there Don? it's me Oprah... The estrogentlemen... don jamison gets his period... don jamison's period pieces...

HIIIII!!!!! (to the random people yelling hello)

So Don watched Oprah and took notes. Her haircut looks like a black mushroom cap. The show is about dudes abusing broads verbally. Her theme music is like a kareoke bon jovi. Don is disgusted by the general premise that it's always the guy's fault. They had a viewer who was being verbally abused by her husband, so they put cameras in the house for six days and showed the clips of him verbally abusing her. Don thinks the footage was hilarious, but the show was obviously slanted, because it didn't show the chick being a nagging butthead.

Don is going into a story about his girl supposedly quitting smoking and has to be dumped for saying a--h---. We gotta go. No dump left and there's kids around.

Don closes the segment quickly by saying the resolution was lame, because all the guy had to do after being berated by the female audience for a half hour is apologize and that was it.

Check out his site:
www.donjamison.com

***BREAK***

Pugs feels awkward around gimp chicks.

Time for Kelly's Practical Picks!!! Brad Schamm is with us today...

Brad used to work in an office in the fairgrounds. Brad makes Pugs feel like a douchebag for being weird about wheelchair jockeys. Pugs feels like a a--hole around the disabled, and kelly feels like an underachiever.

Cody gives us the results from last week.
Kelly 4-10
Brad 6-8

Cowboys vs Giants
K- Cowboys
B- Giants

the rest of the games don't really matter.
Cleveland vs Pitt
both - Pitt

Dolphin vs Patriots
both - pats

bucs vs saints (chris simms is starting for the bucs this week... hmm)
both- Nawlins

jags vs chargers
b- jacksonville
k- san diego

panthers vs broncos
both- denva

ravens vs redskins
b- baltimore
k- washington

lions vs falcons
both- atlanta

vikings vs texans
both- houston...? whoa

raiders vs colt
b- colts
k- raiders

buffalo vs jets
both - jets

cardinals vs 49ers
b-cardinals... whoa
k- san francisco

rams at seahawks
b- seahawks
k- rams

titans at packers
b- green bay
k- TITANS

and a special pick this week...
TEXAS vs OU!!!!

The legendary Brad Schamm picks Oklahoma
Our sexy co-host Kelly says Oklahoma

Listen to Brad broadcasting this and every Cowboy game live on 98.7 KLUV


We give away a trip to vegas.

COME JOIN US AT COCONUTS TONIGHT!

This is from JMC of the chatroom.


Today on Pugs and Kelly:



Ø Speed-dating: including sound bites (Kelly is a little scared.)

Ø This weekend is the Texas/OU game: so why is Pugs going to a little girl's birthday party?

Ø Plus your calls, my calls and call girls, or something like that



Segment 1



It?s time to get the show going and what better way to start than an energy drink from Smoothie Factory? Kelly shows up with Red Line for everyone, and it?s time for the taste test. The general consensus is that the stuff is good, but sweet, like Kool-aid. The instructions say to drink only half the bottle the first time, and to shake well. Unfortunately, by the time they learn to only drink half, it?s a little too late for Kelly, and maybe the rest of the crew. Pugs isn't too worried because he's already had 2 Red Bulls. Eric thinks it'll be OK because he has had stronger stimulants. (You know how this is going to end) At 11:51 Kelly says maybe they should see how long it is before it kicks in.



The only subject of more interest to P & K listeners than the Presidential Election is first on the agenda: Sex with dogs in the room. We learn a few things about P & K listeners. First, people who like to do it with a dog in the room are more likely to send emails than to call. Second, some listeners' dogs like to have gay sex. Honestly, that was shocking to me, but not nearly as shocking as Pugs' desire to actually see some gay dog loving. If he were going at it with his ?lady friend? and his dog started in with some gay sex, he'd stop to get it on video.



Oh, by the way, it's 12:02 and Eric is showing the effects of the Red Line strong enough that Kelly notices it. If he's done the serious stimulants in the past, and it takes 10 minutes to get him shaky? what the hell is in this stuff?



All this talk of dog sex has brought up another recurring theme: Pugs sex life. Now, I was a little dazed as I listened. It seemed to involve his dog being on the bed, Pugs naked and aroused and the dog growling when Pugs tried to kick her off the bed. Once again, Kelly shows us why us guys love her so much because her first and, um, biggest, concern is the dog going for the most obvious target (or at lest the target all of us guys would hope is the most obvious at that moment.).



As you would expect, we are back to the recurring topic of Coitus Interruptus and the flag flying at half-mast. So here is the question, should you let your lady know if you are using Viagra? Of course we learn about our hosts' history and opinions on Viagra. Pugs has tried it once. Kelly would feel self-conscious if she knew her man was using it. Sybil is fine with it as long as the guy stops when she's done. Eric doesn't need it since visiting the Boston Medical Group. (Awesome tie in for a sponsor I must say.) And the lady listeners. Well, an instapoll shows that ladies want to know by a vote of 5-2.



Segment 2



Pugs would like to thank Magazine Mark for the magazines he dropped off, which Pugs reads in the bathroom. Once again, TMI per Kelly. And then we learn which magazine Pugs wants to discuss is Penthouse. Was Pugs in Russ' Porta-Potty when he was never mind.



Pugs favorite sport is college football. Danny Sheridan's list of the 20 worst college teams in the country is featured in the current issue of Penthouse. Pugs gives us the Top 10, and I wait for my alma mater. Before get the list we are reminded that the secret ingredient in Red Line is liquid cocaine, which explains a lot. But, hey, it makes them happy, so I'm happy. Unfortunately I am surprised to learn that my school didn't make the top 10 (obviously this came out before they got stomped by the 20th worst school, UTEP), but at least SMU was number one. (Sorry Peach). Pugs is indignant at how the mighty have fallen, but Eric points out that it may be the best school for seeing hot chicks at the game. So they have that going for them. We also learn that, 10-years later, the fact your athletic scholarship was to a lame school that lost all its games will not matter with hot chicks like Sybil. I may have missed something during this segment though because I was on the phone getting my SMU season tickets.



Speaking of chicks, after the break, Speed Dating clips with James. Based on the tease, we find Kelly wouldn't answer how many guys she's been with OR if she does a certain sex act Howard Stern is fond of discussing. We also learn Kelly is a very good sport because it appears James still has his tongue. I'm glued to my seat. Remind me to ground my son for spilling the Elmers.



Quick aside:



Normally, we'd leave out the commercials but I have to say, the effects of the Red Line REALLY showed during one of the live spots. I am beginning to think that, if they use the stuff before every show they'll be able to double the number of commercials and we?ll never notice. I know if I was paying for a live spot, I'd want one done by Pugs on Red Line, with Sybil is in the background giggling.



Segment 3



Pugs wants Red Line as a sponsor. He loves the stuff. As Kelly says, no calories and no sugar. Eric says he has an erection. During the break Eric ate a plate from Luna de Noche, crapped and got hard. Good for you Eric!



First, the most important news of the show! Kelly met a boy at Speed Dating! Will got a date! (Are these two news items related?) Krysta had some matches. Rule one of Speed Dating: Try to speak a language understood by the person you are speaking to. I had no idea Kelly didn't speak Italian.



Unfortunately, James? had too much graphic sex talk in the clips, so we have to wait. Damnit!



Instead we get an email about the use of the term Jizzactly. It's a phrase James brought to the show after getting it from a listener providing random words for a song. At least we got to hear part of the Mavs' Theme Song that included the word, also included "Skakel". Pugs suggests a P & K glossary. We learn that Skakel has to do with DNA, specifically leaving your DNA on the ground after a little too much fun in the tree outside your neighbor?s window, perhaps after drinking Red Line. Other words to include are Anywhoosle (what is said when it's time to move on) and Aggreance (A tribute to Fred, and not Will, Durst).



Moving on to Sybil with news.



First, P & K have been upgraded from the cattle Barn to the Horse Barn at the State Fair. Woo Hoo!



A British fugitive who killed and ate his girlfriend has been caught in Spain. Pugs wants to give props to Australia because he thinks the guy was an Aussie, and wants to make sure Australia gets full credit for their psychos.



Up again is the Dallas man who pretended to be a Gynecologist at a storage facility. Pugs, after seeing the guy's wife, now understand why he did it. Pugs also thinks the KLLI sales staff would have set up a live remote with this guy if asked, with Kelly and Sybil getting live Pap Smears on the air. I hope like hell Will has the spoof of an ad for the live remote because it's funny as hell. Amazingly, the story informs us that some of the patients thought maybe something was wrong after they discovered the free exam was being offered at a storage facility. Why is it Dallas has the world's craziest criminals anyway? Dunno, but at least the guy didn't have the women delivered by UPS in a flaming truck.



Story 3 is an update on the Siegfried and Roy shooting. It turns out police think that Cole Ford, former kicker for the Raiders is a suspect. As Pugs says, lucky for Siegfried and Roy that the shots were wide right.



More news after the break.



Segment 4



More news!



Anthony Anderson, who was on trial for rape, has had the charges dropped. Turns out the charges were "incredulous". I am just happy to get to use a word like incredulous in the blog to seem somehow intelligent by osmosis (I know. I just wanted to use another 25-cent word.). A caller points out that apparently Red Line affects Pugs' hearing, as he thought Sybil said "incredible". Pugs doesn?t disagree.



Rebecca Romaijn is now dating Jerry O'Connell, from Jerry McGuire and Stand By Me. It seems Kelly must have some secret fixation on him, which is somewhat intriguing. When we learn that Pugs and Sybil seem to have the same fixation, I start to fear for the man's safety. Hopefully Kelly won't ask Will to help her figure out how to kidnap this one.



Andy McDowell has divorced her husband in a painful and private divorce. Pugs used to think she was sexy.



Marilyn Manson is planning to marry burlesque queen Dita Von Teese, whoever the hell she is. Kelly thinks he needs to follow through and actually marry one of these chicks. Pugs thinks she's only his second fiancee.



Playboy has approached not Cher, Susan Sommers or Laura Bush, but instead Susan Sarandon to pose nude. The general consensus is that she is not a sexy woman. Pugs hates her bug eyes, Kelly likes her boobs. Seems Susan Sarandon, combined with Red Line gets Kelly excited, and I have my opening line for the next Speed Dating.



Ja Rule is being charged with bodily assault, and Kelly thinks he should be charged with "Ja Ruley Behavior".



Matt Damon is going through hypnosis treatment for smoking, meaning he doesn't watch Penn & Teller's show on Showtime.



Segment 5



Finally we get to hear some of the Speed Dating sound clips. We also find that the Amazing Will has already posted the pics.



It seems that James got no numbers last night. The question is, was it the giant ass mic he was carrying or something else? Next week, maybe he needs a smaller mic.



First Christina, the lovely intern. Seems Pugs tried to scare away a guy she was talking to. We also learn Christina got trashed and puked in the parking lot. You go girl!



When we get to hear the clip, we find out Christina is 21 and up to 14 guys (although she gave him the hand signal and didn?t answer it out loud). She has tried and didn't like "Doing a Stern". Pugs seems to think Kelly thinks "Sterning" feels like broken glass, which Kelly denies. Christina's never done a 3-way with 2 guys but would, has a 36c rack and her mom listens to the show. She will be getting a call from mom soon.



Next up, "Barnyard Laura". Laura had a big rack per James. Laura is 28 and has never been a stripper. She may or may not have been paid for sex. Seems she won't do small donkeys or goats. We never got the answer about chickens unfortunately.



Another girl named Susan marked James as a no (go figure). Susan was 39 and has been with around 20 guys and no girls. She likes to give head, doesn't do "Sterning" and thinks size matters if you are going to "Stern".



A caller agrees Kelly has said "Sterning" feels like broken glass. Kelly denies again.



Tiffany was James favorite from the night. He says she was a bitch to everyone else, but great with him. She is hot and seems like a slut. At 32 she's been with 7 men, 3 women and done both kinds of 3-ways. She likes oral, "Sterning", porn and may marry James. James says she reeks of issues and acts like she may have been molested. Always a great thing to say to your bride-to-be.



The dumbest thing James heard all night is about a nurse friend of some lady, and some guy who came in with a baked potato up his rear entry. Seems he had asked her several Elvis related questions. What about James and/or Elvis makes this woman think of odd sexual uses for baked tubers?



Stacy is our last sample of last night. She wonders why James has a mic. She won't let us know how many guys she's been with, if she "Sterns", if she's done girls, if she likes porn... I think you get the idea. Unfortunately we never hear the end of this one because James went a little to far with one of the questions. Certain words don't pass muster with the FCC, and James has found one. Kelly suggests that perhaps he should refer to it as a "cake topper". Pugs suggests, "toy". We do get to hear Stacy ask James if he goes to church. Why does Stacy associate "cake toppers" with church?



James final Speed Dating score? No yeses, but one no with an "Oh my God no! Freak!"



Segment 6



Kelly's boy from last night follows one of the main rules of a friend of the show. He lives in both Chicago and here, so he lives out of town. She's not sure if he's bi, or even if that rule applies to guys. Kelly doesn't like that rule anyway. But he got her digits, and is looking to take her to dinner in November. But the problem is, despite being nice and normal, it turns out he rides a Harley, skydives and loves sports cars. Kelly is not a risk taker, so why is this guy interested? Should she even bother? Of course Pugs says no, as he usually does any guys Kelly likes.



Pugs launches in to an attack on women for having no standards. He says women want money and looks. Kelly says it's more about confidence and if the guy enjoys what he does for a living. He who should not be named had too much downtime for Kelly, which was an issue because she is so busy.



Turns out psycho skydiving biker boy also has giant tattoos, which really is knocking down his stock on the Dating Stock Exchange, despite a ringing endorsement from the firm of Sybil and Co.



This weekend being Texas/OU is an issue for Pugs. Turns out that Kelly's daughter's birthday party is this weekend, and is during the game. Pugs loves the girl, but a little kid party on the weekend of the Red River Shootout? Pugs is annoyed because his "lady friend" is psyched and is bringing her daughters. Pugs is trying to find an out, or at least a way to get in and out quickly. As he learns more about the "Princess Party" he realizes he doesn?t even get to sit on the couch and watch the game because of where the party is. I fear Pugs may be getting suicidal! The game is ending during the party! He'll miss the closing seconds! What should he do?



To the phones:



1) DVR is NOT an answer folks. Not like the end of the game will be a secret by the time he gets home, no matter how great DVR is.

2) OU will win anyway, so why worry about the end of the game?

3) Pugs is a heartless bastard who is going to crush a little girl if he doesn?t go.

4) One could take a portable TV and a six-pack, but it seems creepy to sit in the parking lot and drink beer while the Princess Party is going on.

5) Cheryl, whomever she is, may be the perfect woman if she is available, as she blames Kelly for scheduling a kid?s party during the game.

6) Krysta takes the chance to call in and make fun of Pugs. She is also a football fan and is going to the Princess Party.

7) Ray, whomever he is, won't move his butt-cheek to let the woman curl up in the blanket, in Kelly's estimation. I like Kelly's rants on jerkwad callers.



Kelly also gets what I consider the greatest dig in the show, when she reminds us of Pugs' "Big Girl" comment from a couple of days ago, and I take the opportunity to repeat it in the blog just because I can.



Segment 7



As if on request, P & K have cut a "Dr. Tom?s Gyno Shed" promo, and I love it. At least I hope it's just a gag. With the 105.3 sales staff, who knows?



The fans seem to want more info on Kelly's dealer, I mean, where do you buy Red Line. (The Smoothie Factory in Plano) We learn it makes Eric and Pugs sweat like a pig, and Kelly thinks they need a stronger deodorant. Glad I am not going to be in that studio after this show.



Tomorrow the show is live from the State Fair, between Cattle Barn #2 and the Horse Barn. Tune in to listen to Fair Factor, as Pugs goes in the Snake Cavern and plays with the World's Smallest Horse.

It's Paco again, filling in for Will, who is on sabbatical, whatever the hell that means.

Segment 1 (11:36-11:48)
Pugs and Kelly are broadcasting live from Duke's Original Roadhouse, in preparation for their speed dating event tonight. Kelly tells Pugs the people at www.DallasDigitalImages.com put a funny Pugs and Kelly movie on their website. Pugs hasn't seen it because his computer is overrun with pop-ups. Pugs enjoys the low carb menu at Duke's. Pugs mocked one of the promotion prizes the other day, a DVD with a commercial for the movie "Saw", but then he watched it and now he really wants to see it. Pugs tells everyone to go to www.sawmovie.com to watch it. Sybil went to a screening for it last night, and she says she was thinking about the movie for 4 hours afterwards. Pugs thinks it looks like the movie "Strangeland" with Dee Snider.

Segment 2 (12:01-12:38)
Pugs explains the finer points of speed dating tonight. Kelly will be participating tonight. Pugs says there's some Live 105.3 people will be in it, but he can't confirm it yet and this person wants to be on the "DL" about it. Kelly thinks it's hard meeting guys while she's sober. Kelly remembers they're going to be at the State Fair on Friday, and she's afraid the bit they're planning on doing will wind up like last time they were at the Fair talking to Mr. Skin and a bunch of little kids showed up. Pugs informs us Rodney Dangerfield died. Pugs wonders if he was a Top 20 comic of all time. Pugs thinks he is, but doesn't know if he should be Top 5. Kelly wants to know what made him so special. Pugs thinks his style was original. Pugs think his greatest accomplishment was the Rodney Dangerfied Young Comedians Special. Pugs tries to remember his hit movies, but without a computer and IMDB.com, he just winds up saying Caddyshack, Ladybugs, and Back to School over and over again. He yells at Eric to get on IMDB. After Eric reads off some more of his movies, and Pugs realizes those were his only good movies. Pugs asks Kelly if she watched the debate, and of course, she did. Kelly says it was either a draw or Cheney won. Pugs says it was an ass beating, and Cheney won. Pugs says it was all crap, but Cheney's crap was polished. Pugs says Cheney is the old weathered lion, and Edwards is the beautiful gazelle, who got torn apart. Pugs thinks Edwards might be swishy, and that's why he's with a fat chick. He thinks his wife needs to take better care for himself if she's going to be the Vice President's wife. Kelly think she should go to Balley's (*ding*). Pugs says he could get better. Brian calls in and says when Edwards was lying, his face turned red and his eyes would start fluttering. Edwards reminds Kelly of David Cassidy from the Patridge Family days. Another guy calls in and says he reminds him of Clay Aiken. Pugs thinks Clay Aiken is gay. Pugs wonders why the phone lines started dropping off, and blames Eric. Eric swears he did nothing. Kelly says the fact checker has everything right between what both people are saying. Pugs feels safer with Cheney, but Kelly thinks he's shady. Pugs says Cheney does a good job because he has no aspirations of being president and is focused on just being the vice president, and wonders when a lack of ambition became a strong point. Dick Cheney could say the sky is purple, and Pugs would buy it, because Cheney is believable. Pugs wouldn't be comfortable if Edwards was in charge. Rick calls in and thinks Cheney was "boring". He wonders if Cheney not wanting to be a President is a good thing. Pugs says Cheney is doing want he wants to do, and he's the Darth Vader of this adminstration... he's calling all the shots, but he's not the top guy and stays out of the limelight. Lisa calls in and wants to know how Pugs feels about Haliburton. Pugs says he probably did it, but that kind of thing happens. Lisa can't believe Pugs supports it, but Pugs thinks it's on par with Clinton cheating on his wife, and doesn't affect their ability to run this country. Pugs reminds everyone he's not voting, because Bush is going to win Texas anyways, and he doesn't like either canidate. The next guy calls in and says Edwards reminds him of Gomer Pyle. Amy calls in and is dissapointed that Pugs won't vote and that he won't use his power to influence listeners. Pugs says his vote doesn't count. She thinks Pugs says he's middle of the road, but he comes off as really pro-Bush. Pugs says that he agrees with Kerry's Iraq policies. Pugs also despises George Bush, especially for what he did to John McCain during the last election. Pugs and Kelly can't back an Adminstration that schills to the Christian conservatives. Pugs doesn't support Bush or Kelly, just a complete overhaul of how we pick our canidates.

Segment 3 (1:01-1:19)
Pugs and Kelly talk about the movie "Saw" some more. Pugs wants to get back into the instapoll from yesterday about whether or not you should have the dog in the room while you're having sex. This spawned Pugs' new instapoll - do you have sex with a baby in a crib in the room? Pugs is disgusted at how inconsistent the callers are - yesterday, the dog was bad, but today the baby is OK. Pugs thinks the baby would remember. He remembers his mom and grandma getting into an argument about changing diapers when he was a baby. The final results are 8 saying it's OK, and 7 saying no, it's not.

Segment 4 (1:34-1:53)
Pugs and Kelly talk to the Jame Wan and Leigh Whannel, the directer and writer/star of "Saw". Pugs doesn't want to offend him, but he's not going to see the movie, because he's too old to be scared anymore. He says it reminds him of the Marilyn Manson videos that used to creep him out back in the day. Pugs thinks they'll get alot of attention from the trailer. Pugs thinks some of the bizzare things they do in the trailer should be part of the Benefactor. Sybil went to a screening last night, and really liked the movie. Pugs, who never calls Kelly, called her and told her he was scared last night. He wanted to know what the hell is wrong with the guy who wrote this movie. Kyle calls in, and said he saw it, and it looked great. James and Leigh say they thought of the movie by trying to make a low budget film, where two guys are locked in a room, since that's cheap and easy to do. From there, they developed the rest of the script. Kelly invites them out to speed dating tonight, but they've got to fly out later today.

Segment 5 (2:03-2:24)
Pugs and Kelly talk to Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson. He's here to talk about his new book, "In Control". Hollywood was a hero of Pugs' growing up. Hollywood wrote a book called "Out of Control" in the 80s, and he fixed himself up since then, so he figured it was time to write another book. Hollywood has been sober for 21 years. Pugs asks him if he's going to celebrate with a drink. Hollywood says he wrote this book to help people who have a drug addict or alcoholic in their family, and there's certainly plenty of them in Dallas. Kelly asks him what led him to be an addict. He says he just liked to get high. Pugs asks him what it took him to get help. Hollywood said he had to be "broken". Hollywood doesn't try to help people who don't want the help, just the willing. Hollywood says he justs wants to help people, since he doesn't need the money anymore. Hollywood went back to Texas Stadium for the first time the other day - the last time he went back, the security guards told him to leave because he was a crackhead. Pugs hated the Cowboys because the only time the Bears made the playoffs, they knocked them out, but he still knew all the players because he'd catch them on the Love Boat. Pugs asks him what it was like to be a Cowboy in a 70s. Hollywood said Tex Schram was a genius to coin the term "America's Team". Kelly asks him if he was ever thought the Cowboys were the underdog in a game, but he didn't think so. He said playing for the Oilers was torture, and Pugs agrees because the Oilers sucked. Kelly asks him if he councils any young players, and he says he does, but he can't mention any of them. Hollywood talks about how much of a hero he thinks Pat Tillman is, and why he put him in his book.

If you want to pick up a copy of his book, he'll be doing book signings tonight at 6:00 PM at Borders Books on Preston in Dallas and Friday at at 7:00 PM at WaldenBooks in Ridgmar Mall in Fort Worth.

Segment 6 (2:40-2:55)
And it's time again for my least favorite segment - the Nip/Tuck segment. Thank god this is the last week of it for a while. As usual, Dr. Schwartz (of www.rsplastic.com fame) is here to provide is expert opinion. He was a little peeved to get bumped, but as Pugs said "You're not Hollywood Henderson and you didn't make the creepiest movie I've seen lately". Apparently it was the season finale of Nip/Tick (I hope it's the series finale). Schwartz gave it a 7, Kelly gave it an 8.5, and Pugs gave it a 5. Kelly said it was good if you watched the debate going into it. Pugs watched "Rescue Me" instead, because he missed last week's episode. Apparently, the big secret on Nip/Tuck was Eva is really a man. So Pugs and Schwartz discuss the finer points of sex change operations, and which is easier to perform. Schwartz says man to woman is the easier of the two. After recapping the rest of Nip/Tuck, they do the "Poker Hand of the Day" contest. And that's it. Go out to speed dating at Duke's tonight.

Send hate mail and death threats to: paco@apacolypseproductions.com

Hey... Will here. Somebody other than a former intern/recap writer/producer actually offered and wrote a blog. Good. This is from MmmOrangetictacs. She is a chatroom dork and for today... a show blog writer.


**11:37- show starts**

They start the show by talking about Russ's birthday and all the balloons. Pugs makes a creative metaphor (see, English can be valuable) about how he felt like a dolphin in a 6 pack ringlet when he was walking through the hallway.

They mention that the fire alarm went off at the end of the show. Basically, no one did anything because it wasn't that big of a deal. Pugs wondered if that's what it was like on 9/11. The station didn't go out like everyone had been trained to do in school- single file and stuff (which if you ask me, is stupid because obviously, we're all just going to push our way through if there’s a real fire). P&K decide that they're just going to let the Jack FM people die because they’re all robots. This leads Kelly to wonder what her ex husband, who works there, does. Pugs guesses that maybe he's finding Lionel Richie CD's. All they know is that he's not getting paid hourly.

Apparently Eric didn't want to let Kelly go to the bathroom, so Pugs yelled at him [insert mean sexually derogative rants here]. Anyway, Eric said that that's what the black girls used to call him in school. Stuff like *giggle giggle* "Are you a girl?" Kelly suggests that maybe he shouldn't wear blouses.

This leads Kelly to reminisce about her days as a school girl. Her mom cut her hair and that made her be left out of the cool crowd. She doesn't want to be a brusher.

Pugs starts talking about how these creepy old guys would talk to him in the bathroom when he was four and call him a little girl because he had long hair and his mom was a hippy. She even told him to tell everyone that he loves them. Pug has to release pent up rage.

Kelly begins a lecture on how people in chat rooms shouldn’t talk bad about a radio personality's kid--cue sappy music. She claims that she doesn't want her name associated with it. And what's up with the priests gossiping?? There are some crazy people in the chat room and they might want to prove their undying loyalty to the P&K by doing stuff. Pugs is all we want peace not war mann.. Is this stemming from his four year old hippy days?? They remind everyone that there are rules in the chat room. So BEWARE.

They liken themselves to Ferdinand Marcos (yeah, I had to look that one up). Pugs remembers when he had a Philippine friend whose parents were supporters. Then he realizes that the story isn’t going anywhere so they restart the show.



**11:47- restart of show **

Pugs was the only one to watch The Benefactor last night. Kelly thinks it's because the station's reputation for the whole Monday night football thing. It scares people away. Anyway, Pugs thinks that Kevin, the gay black Oprah watching guy, was really smart to take Mark Cuban's bribe. Pugs just can't see him winning. He also can't understand why Cuban likes Dominique, and he believes that we haven't seen the last of him on the show, even though Dominique isn't really that great.



**12:00- Break!!**



**12:20**

Apparently Sybil is making lots of mistakes but Eric isn't willing to back up this claim because he's scared of her.

Everyone realizes that they don't know who pays them. Maybe some guy who just signs checks all day??

Kelly admits that she has been dressing sloppy because she's been anticipating speed dating tomorrow. Pugs remembers that at the last speed dating thing a lot of guys showed up. They both agree that Dukes will be better because the guys are hot there. P&K explain speed dating and, Pugs gets quite excited including imitations of whiney girl's voices. Hey and Pugs is buying pitchers for the girls—wait never mind, the guys now get to do that. The age range is 21-90, AND this includes black people!! And guys, "come with game" K?

Kelly reveals that she has a fake career. She's a production assistant on Texas Walker Ranger. Sigh, for some people being a radio person just isn't enough.

One caller worries that this speed dating will just lead Pugs to whine later that no one showed up. Another caller gives his best line, something about the girl being the reason it's so hot in Texas. Haha!! Caller Mike's line is "Kelly, if you were a booger, I would pick you first."

Kelly wants to give a prize away at the speed dating, but alas, they don't have that in the budget. Come on guys, Kelly is participating, isn't that enough of a prize?



**12:40-Break!**



**12:55**

Friday Night Lights made Pugs want to go to high school football games. *Exclusive with a high school student* Carroll people are scary serious about football, Pugs may want to watch where he parks his car; they like to key them if you’re parked on the opposing team’s side.

A little known secret from Pugs himself: If you say Mahh FOOGY, it helps your football team.

Okay, enough about football, the Manly Men are boring the girls. Time for Sybil's news:

Family Active released a top 20 weird celebrity baby names

Just some random ones before we get to top ten

KoKo (Courtney Arquette)

Zowie (David Bowie)

Tiger Lily Heavenly Hiraani (Paula Yates)

Breaking News Story—Pugs has never seen Peter Pan!

Ready for the Top Ten Names??

10. Nell Marmalade( Helen Baxendale and David Eliot)

9. Rocco (Madonna and Guy Ritchie)

8. River (Arlyn and John Phoenix)

7. Peaches (Paula Yates and Bob Geldof)

6.Rumer (Demi Moore and Bruce Willis)

5. Daisy Boo (Julia and Jamie Oliver)

4. Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow)

3. Satchel (Mia Farrow and Woody Allen) Also, Eric pointed out that it's another name for your ball sack

2. Fifi Trixibelle (Paula Yates)

1. Moon Unit (Frank and Gail Zappa)



Also in the news...

Someone open fired on Siegfried and Roy Shouting "Get out of the country!!"- Pugs decides that they are lame people to hate.



Toby Keith's bus driver also got shot in Carrollton. -Pugs thinks it's nice that bus drivers are finally getting some press.



Katy Segal (Peg Bundy) got married to Kurt Sugger (Sp??).



The Simpsons Movie is underway and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (directed by John Woo)



Parker Posey's dog had diarrhea on a plane and had to clean it up.



**1:21-Break**



**1:37**

Voting is useless, and Kelly almost died on the radio.

-Pugs and Kelly Institute for Growth and Development-

Where's Duncanville again?? This guy Bill, I think, works out in the gym in no fancy clothes. He’s attracted to a girl and wants to talk to her but he doesn’t want to break the gym etiquette or freak her out. Kelly lays it out for us: she doesn't get primped for the gym, and it should not be viewed as a place to pick up guys. Kelly doesn't want to talk to anyone. She's got far better things going on in her mind, so don’t bother her. Got it?

By the way, Pugs doesn't work out but he's going to start. He's going to ask the women questions because they like to be maternal. And.. Guess what?! Mark Cuban met his gal at the gym. What? Cuban is hot?? I'm thinking that he's just rich. FrankenMark? Hmm… Kelly yells that no one would like Pugs if he didn't have money.



**2:10-ish- Break**



**2:25** open with Bowling for Soup song

Monday night football used one of their songs, everyone is happy for them because they rock.

Kelly wants you to watch Nip Tuck and the debate tonight. Those are your two choices. Cheney reminds Kelly of the penguin from batman hehe I totally see it!!

Pugs has the situation analyzed: They have some slick guy for vice president, but is he too slick? Ahh if you didn’t watch SNL last week you missed out. They did a great impression of Bush and his mumbling. But have no fear!! Pugs and Kelly are here! (what? I thought it was cute) They’ve got a clip of it.

Cheney is "large and in charge" according to Pugs, he's not used to being pushed around.

Also, Kelly thinks it would be more efficient if North and South Carolina were combined. Seriously, who goes there anyway?



**2:36 Break**



**2:45** yay they're back

Congrats John one a contest. He can go to the place where Real World was filmed in Vegas.

Pugs has a problem. He and his “lady friend” both have dogs, and when they’re about to make "woopie" (yes Pugs is slowly bringing these phrases back into style)… Get Ready for an Instant Poll!! The dog barks and stuff when they're having sex. Is she rooting Pugs on or just jealous? Kelly wonders what the dogs are thinking and won't be naked in front of hers. Pugs draws the line at "taking care of business" with the dog in the room because he's embarrassed.

Dog or No Dog: 8:1 not ok to have sex in front of the dog


FIN

Kelly is in a great mood today and Pugs lets her know that he's feeling awful. Kelly warns people in the chat room to not ask her out because she's not in the mood for it. kelly brings up how people have been requesting Pugs singing Michael McDonald and I put it on the website.. check the audio archive section.... Pugs is having computer problems and since his half of the show is on the computer... he's bowing out and letting Kelly handle everything. Kelly says that she had a great day yesterday. She hung out at the Down Under Pub and Grub with her hung over friend Sherry. Bruce-X pegged her as a hardcore Christian and went off on her for being judgmental. Kelly doesn't know her religious beliefs but she drinks with her while discussing sexing it up with guys. Kelly thinks it might be his opening line with women and Pugs does his Bruce impression... "you know... Jesus is a lie".... Bruce also accused her of being a hardcore republican and Pugs informs us that Bruce is a recovering conservative. Pugs reminds us that recovering alcoholics and drug addicts are very militant and preachy. Kelly says that Bruce prefaced it by saying "you don't understand... I use to be the biggest republican out there". Pugs talks about the pictures of Bruce hanging out in the oval office with Bush and Reagan. Now, he's everyone's favorite pornographer. Kelly thinks the moral majority sounds like a boring group but, she likes to sit around and talk bad about people too. Kelly wonders if it's moral to get into a fight in front of a bar. Pugs declares his love for a good chick fight. Kelly tells us that her friend Krysta (Sybil's sister) and she were leaving a bar on Saturday night. They were standing by the valet and a gaggle of girls approached. Kelly tells us that this group was the type that expected everyone to move for them and Pugs classifies them as "bitches". They were complaining that it was crowded and expressed that they were hoping to get by. Kelly informs us that it was a big sidewalk and they had a good four feet to use. Pugs wonders if they could support this attitude.. as in "are they hot enough". Kelly thinks that their bodies looked good but that was it. One of the girls asked Krysta to get out of the way and Krysta told her that she wasn't going to move. Another one of the dumb bitches asked "did she just say that to you?"... as if somebody should be impressed/ intimidated/ accommodating because it's "YOU". I hate women like this. I hate these stupid elitist attitudes. If murder wasn't illegal in this country... man... man.... Another one of the girls said that was rude so Krysta talked them down again. Kelly was filled with dread and Pugs says that Krysta likes to kick a little chick ass. Kelly reminds us that getting in fights in front of bars is tacky. Pugs says that girls can't posture like guys can before fights. Kelly says that there was a "dance". Pugs wonders about the attitudes that seems to be permissible amongst women these days. Kelly thinks that she would be a bad fighter because she's afraid of getting hit. Kelly almost got a fight in middle school with Susan Maneli... Susan Maneli, that bitch.... they walked around in a circle ordering the other to punch first. They ended up sitting in a corner together crying. Pugs says that women shouldn't be getting into fights. Gail calls in to remind Pugs that he's in Texas now... thanks for the news update Dana Rather.... and Texas women fight just like men do. She claims that is just the way Texas women are raised. Pugs doesn't think all women in Texas fight and Gail assures him that all women who go to bars, go to fight. Gail says that her daddy taught her to fight and be a lady. Pugs thinks that a daddy should teach a woman to cook, clean, and do laundry. Gail tells him that she can do all that and drive an 18 wheeler. Kelly doesn't think she went to finishing school. Pugs thinks that Krysta is a bad ass but only when she's had a few libations. He says that when she is sober she carries herself very respectful but points out that she's not your typical chick, she's a member of several fantasy football leagues. Kelly says that she was wearing a purple cardigan that was button together with pearl buttons. She explains that it a simple bump can make them pop open... hmm, if I remember correctly, Kelly doesn't wear a bra. I'm making a permanent mental note of this item of clothing.... Sharon calls in and says that not all the Texas women are born to fight. Pugs' lady friend has had a lot of brawls because she's a ... "big girl"... yeah, he said that.... Other women give her dirty looks. Pugs thinks it must be a prison thing because his lady friend is tall and big. Stacey calls in and begs to never let truck driving women on the air to represent Texas women. Jimmy, a stupid prick calling in to preach to Kelly, calls in to ask Kelly with the show all the week, the show on the Sunday, all the appearances, and the drinking it up on a Saturday night, when does she spend time with her kids? Pugs brings up that this was their weekend with their father and Kelly reminds him that sometimes kids want to see their dad. Kelly tells Jimmy that she puts the kids but 8:30 so that she can leave at 9. Pugs assures him that she puts locks on their doors so that they can't get out. Jimmy says that his kids tend to wake up. Another crappy dick calling in.

*break*

Kelly brings up how I couldn't update the pictures because I was locked out of my room. I keep all my picture uploading equipment in there. Pugs wonders if my crazy sister was involved and Kelly tells him that's why I have the lock in my door. Pugs reminds us that my sister tried to stab me once and Kelly says that she did stab me because she's a follow through type of gal. Pugs thinks that would be a chick that fights... Pugs would be damn right.... Kelly says that I had to wait for my ex-girlfriend to come home from a date because she still has a spare key. Pugs likes to sit down in front of the computer on Sunday night and his computer is no clogged with viruses and spy ware. Pugs can't even use a browser right now but he's getting tons of Ads for online viagra. Pugs wants James or Paco to strip his computer again. He despises how he became so dependent on the Internet. Pugs was having a hard time sleeping last night because he wasn't able to do any show prep. He popped a few Nyquil gel caps but they didn't work. He was drowsy but couldn't sleep. He finally passed out around 3 am and at 5 am his dog woke him up. She was freaking out because of the thunder. Pugs brought her on the bed to try to calm her down but she was panting too hard. He kicked the dog off the bed and the power goes out. It kept coming on and off until 8 am. Pugs complains that his power goes out at least once a month at Frisco. Then Pugs had to drive to work. He tells everyone that just because it's raining doesn't mean you should drive 10 MPH. He also lost one windshield wiper while driving. He brought in a video tape to pull stuff of for but there was something wrong with the equipment. He then went to the studio for the show and the computer here is "fooked" too. Cody is sick today too. Jimmy calls in and tells Pugs that he needs some midol. Robin calls in to say that she's a single mother, her transmission went out, she needs 2 grand, and her grandmother is about to die. Pugs tells her that his dog is crapping in his bed right now. Kelly offers her state fair of Texas tickets and Robin tells her she has no money to enjoy it.... bummer..... Kelly reminds Pugs that things have been going well for them. Madison calls in to say that she got Pugs some Rain-x... which sucks by the way... and is willing to give Robin 50 bucks. Kelly wonders what Madison is doing all day that would allow her to run around helping people. Madison tells us that she just got her life coach certification. Kelly wonders what a life coach does and Madison says that she just fixes people from the inside out. She gives them the steps, no matter how minute, to fix themselves. Kelly thinks that sounds "loadofcrappy". Madison says that she's not life coaching from the lodge any more. Kelly finds out, from me, that Madison drove me all the way to Fort Worth and back from Duke's in Addison. Pugs wonders if we know Madison and she tells him that it's Cassie. PUgs points out that she's a stripper/porn star and Cassie reminds him that not everybody knows that. She says that everyone needs supplemental income and asks Pugs how he thinks she paid for the certification. Pugs wonders if her approach to life coaching is being more F*ed up than the person she's helping. Cassie points out that most psychiatrist have screwed up backgrounds. 214-284-1646 for Body by Cass. You can also search through google. Pugs wonders how long it took to get a certification and Cassie tells him that it takes 7 weeks. Pugs complains that he can't even learn how to work a microwave in 7 weeks.

*break*

Pugs was watching 60 minutes last night and he was irritated by "echo boomers". Kelly wonders if that's a satellite company. Eric says it's the generation born in the late 70s to the early 90s. Pugs reminds us how they had Gen-X and the Gen-X spin off, Gen-Y. Kelly thinks that Gen-Y has no outstanding characteristics and Pugs thinks that they want desperately to be Gen-Xers. Sybil says that she considers herself gen-x and Pugs tells her that nobody else does but that's OK. 60 minutes said that they ruined an entire generation of people because we've put too much pressure. Pugs informs us that the "echo boomers" had to get good grades, get into college, get a job, and they've never had a moment alone. They've had to do so many extra-curriculum activities. They have to deal with blackberries, I-pods, the Internet, and 500 channels on TV. This is the most technological and media savvy generation ever. Pugs says that's crap because every generation is more technological than the one before. Pugs points out that every generation worried about college and sweat about report cards. Kelly wonders if it's the after-school activities because she didn't have those back then. They gathered all these "nitwits" and they all bitched/cried about all these "problems". One girl was worried about how competitive the work force is and Pugs tells her that it's always been competitive. Pugs brings up how they said that this generation expects to be congratulated at every turn and they don't expect to be yelled at for failures. Kelly and Pugs agree that their grandparents had it harder than anybody. Pugs brings up how these kids were talking about their cell phones like it was a bad thing and points out that his grandfather would have loved to have a phone when his milk truck broke down in the middle of the road.

Excuse me while I rant...

What I hate about my generation
By Will

These pussies. These self-important stupid pussy losers. They bitch and moan and moan and bitch. They whine when things aren't their way. Things are never good enough. BLAH BLAH BLAH. You stupid pussy losers should please just shut up. You expect the world to change to your liking. You're not Neo from the Matrix... you don't have the power... you're not the "one"... you're not even Morphius. They feel as if their problems are unique to them. Their problems are the end of the world. If your biggest problem has been that you parents have pressured you to get into college.. you've lived a very sheltered life. I've had it tough. I've had it very tough but you don't see me bitching about this or that. I've been stabbed. I've had bad people do bad things to me. I've also been pressured about college and after school activities. Let me tell you... being stabbed is a lot worse than that... so shut up you stupid pussy losers. I work very hard. I work three jobs on top of what I do for the show for free. Last semester I threw 18 hours of school on top of that. Toughen up you stupid pussy losers. We live in the information age. High speed Internet access, 500 channels to choose from... that's instant information about anything you want 24 hours a day... as fast as you want it. How do we seem to use this power? Downloading music, looking up porn, and cyber sexing with each other. We don't seek the knowledge and that's sad. The world is ours for the taking. We have the power to put our civilization over the edge and we'd rather watch "Punk'd". You stupid pussy losers. The worse seem to be the college kid. You self-important, self-righteous... stupid pussy losers. You want to pretend that you care but you don't. You don't discover things on your own.. you just spit out what smarter men say. You all think you're unique. You all think you're tortured souls. You all feel the need to remind everyone that you are. YOU'RE NOT!... you stupid pussy losers. You want to act high and mighty because you know who Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground is... big deal, so you can name a popular band from a long time ago... GOODY FOR YOU!!!! I so totally needed you to prove that you're a well versed individual. You complain that political correctness is destroying the world but you go whining and crying cause your feelings get a little hurt. You stupid pussy losers. A joke is a joke. An insult is an insult. Occasionally the two intersect... nobody likes oversensitive pussies. You stupid pussy losers. You expect everything on a silver platter. You expect sunshine and puppy dogs everyday. Life gives you a lemon... you cry about it and write god awful poetry. You take prozac because "Billy Joe Garrett didn't take you to the sock hop". Get a hobby that doesn't involve me having to view your crappy art/writing/music and get over it. Collect stamps... come on, you stupid pussy losers. Angst is something that the uncreative use to explain their boring lives. I don't like people that want to push their problems on me without asking me first. I don't like people that feel the need to prove that their tortured. I wish you'd all disappear. And, save your E-mails.. I know I'm coming off as a miserable loser right now.... I am, I admit that. I'm just a sheep like the rest of you stupid pussy losers...

sorry about that...

*break*

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. An elderly guy heard a chicken in his barn. He accidentally cut off his penis thinking it was a chicken neck. The dog then ate the penis.
Pugs doesn't believe this story and Kelly remind us that there are crazy people everywhere. Kelly says that they'll do anything on that Jackass show. Sybil justifies this story because of all the jokes that can be associated with it... "choked his chicken", "gave a dog a bone".... I want to play... "he chopped off his pecker and fed it to his pooch".... ok, so I'm not that good at that.

2. An English teacher in New Jersey has been suspended for having a picture of Bush in her class room. The parents complained that she was pushing her political beliefs on their children.
Pugs says that all the teachers had the picture of the current presidents and he thinks that's crap.

3. Pot smokers have formed the US Marijuana party...
Pugs thinks is going to be embarassing for anybody that has ever smoked pot....
they're supporting John Kerry because they believe that his views are the closest to their's.

4. Psycho Legend Janet Leigh has passed away.
Kelly has met her a couple of times and says she's very nice. Pugs reminds us that this was Jaime Lee Curtis' mother.

5. Renee Zellweger (SP?... like I care...) broke up with the White Stripes dude.

6. Orlanda Bloom is engaged to Kate Bosworth.

7. Tiger Woods have set the date for his marriage... maybe on Tuesday.

8. Billy Joel married a 23 year old.
Pugs takes the over and Kelly takes the under... 3 years.

*break*

Kelly wonders what we're expecting to come out of MT. St Helen's. Pugs has the sound turned up on MSNBC. Some security camera footage of the aftermath of somebody letting the dogs out at some kennel. So, I guess we'll finally find out just "who let the dogs out".

9. Elton John talked crap about Madonna. He was mad when he found out that Madonna won an award for "best live act" at the Q awards. He says that anybody that lip synchs after somebody paid 300 dollars to see them should be shot.
Kelly reminds us that old people don't care what people think anymore.

10. Paris Hilton is getting breast implants. She wants B cups.
Kelly says that she'll get a C because nobody will get a B size. Pugs says that we'll take her more seriously with new breast.

11. For her 60th birthday, Cher will be getting photographed nude on a beach.
Pugs wonders if it's for National Geographic and Kelly wonder why she would do that.

12. Anthony Keatus lost his virginity at age 12 with his dad's girlfriend.

13. Weekend Box Office Review
5. Mr. 3000
4. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
3. The Forgotten
2. Ladder 49
Pugs says that he's a huge fireman groupie.
1. Shark Tale

*break*

running out of time so now I have to get into my "hurry up offense"... it's 5 am! I'll fill the rest later.

Pugs is outraged by a list of the "sexiest movie stars of all time". No Billy Dee Williams or Denzel Washington. Kiera Knightly was number one... Paco points out that Kiera Knightly is just Natalie Portman with a British accent and they should count as one person. Orlanda Bloom was the highest ranked man.... what up with that crap?

*break*

They were suppose to talk to Steve and Brad about the Bally total fitness challenge.... Kelly lost ten pounds. Pugs is tired of people telling him how great Kelly looks. Kelly explains that personal trainers teach techniques that help sharpen the mind... which doesn't explain why most of the trainers I know are brain dead... Sybil gain 2 pounds of muscle and lost 6 pounds of fat. YAY!

FIN

comments/complaints/pictures of boobs? E-Mail will@pugsandkellylive.com