The show starts off at Texas Motor Speedway and the typical bumbling weekend schedule preview (a must for friday intros). NASCAR is going to broadcast a race on 105.3 this weekend and there's an indy race, too.

P&K marvel at the size of the Speedway. The track is 1.5 miles long and Pugs doesn't think he could bike that, much less jog it. Kelly commands attention with Russ talk. She doesn't think there's a future with Russ because Russ doesn't like kids and whatnot. Somehow the conversation hydroplanes, spins off the road, and now we're talking about if Kelly could have a One Night Stand. Then the show treats us to a dramatic interpretation of how the One Night Stand goes down...

Kelly starts us off with LAST CALL!
*usher - yeah, in the background* Pugs and Sybil are potential ONS participants at a club, but Pugs screws up the first take...

Kelly starts us back at LAST CALL!
*wang chung in the background this time* Pugs does better this attempt and succeeds to get Sybil to agree to go back to his place with some cunning support from wingman eric. Pugs fakes an afterparty, Eric confirms, and Sybil takes the bait! That's the end of the dramatic interp.


Chris, a caller agrees with Kelly's accusation that Pug is being too deceptive in his approach, and counter with the honest approach. Pugs blows up... it's not deception sweetheart, it's GAME. Pugs insists that guys have to lie. Kelly says you don't have to lie, you just don't have to be totally honest and that should work just fine.


***BREAK***


OK, back to the truth vs. lie debate. A mail caller admits to lying and supports Pugs theory. Another caller, Chad, asks Kelly if she wants to come see his art. Good line, dude. We run around the looks vs. personality variable and Pugs whips out the classic "a man is only as faithful as his options." Kelly complains that even if she tells a guy she doesn't want sex, he still gets mad when she doesn't put out. T-Dogg (I'm assuming two g's here), proclaims he's indoctrinating his seven year old son in how to be a player. The next caller accusses women of being equally scandalous, and the last caller leaves us with the gem "the more the money, the more the runny."


***BREAK***



The third segment from The Pugs and Kelly Show has a visit from the infamous Charlie Murphy from The Dave Chapelle Show. Yeah, it's Eddie's older brother, but he's been in plenty of movies himself including CB4, Mo Betta Blues, Jungle Fever... yup. Pugs and Kelly attempt to guess Charlie Murphy's monetary stature. Prince really is awesome at basketball. Pugs asks Charlie if the guys who played with Prince were the Revolution or New Power Generation. Charlie Murphy explains that he doesn't know, it was just guys in lace and lipstick.

One of the other guys on the bill, Bill, enters the conversation and discusses the racial draft from the Dave Chapelle Show. The racial draft is when the different races get together and divide up who gets credit for the half breeds. Hilarious.

If you ever need info for the addison improv, you can call them at 972.404.8501.

Sybil teases the news... yum, Sybil.


***BREAK***


Sybilization As We Know It!!!

Purdue Researchers can turn human waste into drinking water, using plants. They predict this research is vital to the projections that humans will be on Mars by 2030. Yeah right, where's our flying car?!

This story is the top ten reasons people don't go to the gym, which is identical to the list of lame excuses for being a fat chili pile .

Eminem will launch his own satellite radio channel called Shape 45.

The Duchess of York is going to be nude in a book called Four Inches for charity. Carpet match the drapes?

In a recent interview, KRS-1 sided with Al-qaeda on the issue of 9/11 and we puruse his collaboration with REM.

There's interviews of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie dating.

You're officially famous if Winona Ryder hits on you.

Team America: World Police is getting sued by a Philadelphia company with the same name.

Al Frenken is a dismal radio host. (but we think he was hilarious on SNL)

SouthLake-Carroll beat Denton Ryan 52-27. Pugs was wildly impressed.



***BREAK***



Those indy cars go the length of a football field in less than a second. Cool. You know what else is cool? Reality TV. The one with fat people in a contest to lose weight is the ultimate litmus test to see if middle america will tolerate the fat and ugly. Bowie from the first season of The Apprentice gives us the latest in reality TV gossip. Mark Burnett is a poop head.

Reality TV talk continues, which is a bummer for me, because I don't watch any of these shows. I'm too cool for these absurd excuses for entertainment, and spent the next few minutes swimming in mindless banter of people I don't know in situations I'm not familiar with.

Luckily, we stumble into talk of black chicks. Bowie says they dance rough, Eric says they fight like dude, Pugs was accosted by one, and Kelly is the only one who doesn't say something offensive. Leslie calls in and represents. Pugs thinks a black chick is more likely to take a swing at you. A couple of black girls call in and plead their caseand feel discriminated against by the portrayal of black women on Reality TV.



***BREAK***


This last segment is about the Susan G. Kommen Race for the Cure tomorrow... 214.750.RACE

Will here... I don't even know if this thing is going to get published. The blogger site is actling like every girl I've ever dated. It's not lettling me have my way and it's calling me stupid. So if this isn't up... then I guess you can't read this. Why even bother writing this blerb? It's 2:10 am and I downed some coffee.

Pugs thought that speed dating was strange last night. He explains that former and current interns were running around town with this guy in a stretch limo. They were touring strip clubs and they showed up to speed dating drunk... good god was Paco hammered.... Paco joins the show and Pugs explains that was S* faced and Kelly directs our attention to the caught on film section of the website for pictures of the very drunk Paco. Pugs points out that Paco can't afford a steak dinner at Del Frisco's and Paco confesses that he had no business being there. He tells us that this guy in the chat room is very well-off and gave a few people a night on the town. Kelly says that's not what Paco normally says about him and Pugs thinks that Paco says something about everyone. Paco admits that but he lets us know that he does it in jest. Paco tells us that they dropped Cody back off at Duke's at around 2:30 am. Cody showed up for Speed Dating but left to go hang out with the guys. Paco says that they went on a little tour of the strip clubs and that this guy paid for everything. Kelly tells Paco that he has a sugar daddy now. Pugs wonders if Paco REALLY ENJOYED himself at the strip club and Paco answers that he didn't in THAT sense... but somebody did. We say hello to Cody who had his first experience with a prostitute. Eric thinks that's awesome and quotes Cody as saying "uhh.. Erica, I think I'm gonna take a gamble on this". Cody says that they were in a "special section" of a gentlemen's establishment and having a good time. Pugs asks Cody how much the guy spent on everything and Cody says a couple of hundred dollars. Everyone laughs at Cody. Paco says that the guy showed him his bar tab from the same place two nights before. Between two guys it was upwards of 6000 dollars. Paco explains that there were 5 of them but one was passed out in the limo. Eric and Pugs figure that it's about 2-3 grand. Pugs reminds us that he also took a lot of people to Del Frisco's for dinner. Cody tries to explain what his girl looked like but Pugs turns to Paco to paint the picture better. Paco explains that she was blonde, c-cup breast, and had freshly pierced nipples. The Paco compares her to Sarah Michelle Gellar after she's been punched in the face. Cody says that the guy handed her some money and told her that Cody wanted a nice dance. She kissed Cody and Pugs is disgusted. Kelly hopes that Cody brought some gum and Pugs hopes that he had a tongue condom. Cody explains that she then offered to do something to his dang-a-lang. Cody says that he paid a hundred and Eric points out... "you were kissin' her dude!". Pugs is disgusted again and Paco explains that there was some dispute to in the limo afterward between Cody and another gentleman over who had her first. Pugs is disgusted. Cody says that he was speechless and Kelly points out that she would be too if she was doing it right. Pugs teases Cody by bringing his mother into the conversation and Cody says hello to his mother. Pugs was just breaking his balls and his mother wasn't on the line.

*break*

A guy calls in and says that Kelly has been sticking her boobs out in all the pictures in the "caught on film" section. Pugs says that lots of people say that Kelly has been walking around with her boobs way out in front and Kelly explains that she is trying to have better posture. When you have better posture, your boobs stick out more. Kelly doesn't like how she looks in the website though.

It's time for the Pugs and Kelly institute for Human growth and development. Katy says that her best friend, since forever, just recently passed away, in May, a week before her wedding. Pugs wonders if you still throw the wedding because you have everything planned. All the checks have been cashed and you'll never get that back. Kelly says that she wouldn't care because her child is dead. Her late friend's fiance started talking to each other for consolation. They became good friends, they went out, and had a friendship kiss. Pugs points out that they've never had a friendship kiss and Kelly says that they don't need to try that.

Hey, it's Paco again... here's the Wednesday recap.

Segment 1 (11:10-11:39)

Pugs starts the show off with a joke about that Yankee player's swimming pool, which no one but Eric gets. Pugs' Lady Friend is irritated by the crooked pictures in his room. Kelly needs a maid, her carpet is old and stained. Pugs and Kelly have never been inside each others houses. People think they hang out together all the time, but they only see each other at Pugs and Kelly appearances. Pugs thinks Kelly's house is really nice, but she thinks she lives down the street from the ghetto (the mean streets of the ghetto of Plano - you know, that one apartment complex where 3 black guys live). Kelly is paying Cody to clean her backyard. Pugs has fire ants in his bathtub. Mark calls in and asks when Pugs and Kelly became such old fogies - they're afraid of Deep Elum and now they think there's a ghetto in Plano. Kelly says all the school signs are in Spanish and there's a bunch of knock-off stores down the street. The next caller wants to know if this is the house that was haunted. Kelly says it is, and her daughter has been talking about playing with the "ghost children". Pugs talks about a story where Bill O'Reilly is suing one of his former producers for attempting to extort $60 million from O'Reilly. Pugs doesn't think O'Reilly even has $60 million dollars, but it might be close. Kelly doesn't think so. But Pugs argues O'Reilly has the books and the top-rated shows to have close to that. Pugs wonders what he makes a year - Kelly thinks $1.5 million, Pugs thinks at least $5 million. They want to ask Gavin a question, so they start making weird noises until he comes in there. Gavin doesn't think he has $60 million, but agrees he probably makes about $5 million a year. After going over all the stuff O'Reilly does, Pugs comes to the conclusion that O'Reilly does probably have $60 million dollars. Pugs says no one ever says how much they really make, and cites Howard Stern as an example. Gavin asks Pugs if he considers himself a millionaire, to which Pugs starts laughing. Kelly tells him to shut up because he knows how much they make. Kelly says Gavin makes at least 5 times more then they do, because that's what their agents tells them. Gavin says he took a paycut to be here. Pugs says everyone always gets how much they make wrong. Pugs and Kelly try to figure out how much Gavin made when he was in Las Vegas. Kelly wonders how Bill O'Reilly feels about frivolous medical lawsuits, because he seems to file alot of lawsuits of his own. A caller calls in and says he thinks Gavin makes about $100k, and Pugs makes $85, and Kelly makes about $75-$80k, which pisses Kelly off. A couple other people call in and make their estimates. Pugs doesn't like how low the estimates are.

Segment 2 (11:51-12:08)

Kelly doesn't think the blog is funny when I do it (I'm just a mirror reflecting the show, it's not my fault it's not funny). Kelly doesn't think I hear her when she talks, only Pugs (See... I hear her). Pugs says I'm his minion. Pugs wants his minions to dress up like flying monkeys at the Halloween party, but he doesn't think he'll have enough minions to justify it. Pugs thinks he needs at least 3 flying monkeys. Pugs tries to figure out who his minions are, but Cody and Will pretty much belong to Kelly. Pugs thinks if Will plays his cards right, he could bang Kelly. Pugs says everytime Kelly turns the mic off, she's talking about how she needs to get laid. Kelly says she never says "laid". Pugs and Kelly talk about speed dating tonight at Duke's. Kelly is having a slumber party at Kelly's after the Killer's Concert. Pugs thinks guys should have 2 pitches to girls, so the last girl you used it on doesn't hear you use it on the next girl. "T" calls in and says Kelly looks good for a 35 year old woman, and he'd never think she was THAT old.

Segment 3 (12:16-12:35)

Pugs introduces a spin-off of Human Growth and Development - GCV (Guy Code Violations). Pugs thinks guys who throw out "Bros before hoes" are just guys without girlfriends, and throwing that out is a guy code violation when you use that to a buddy with a girlfriend. Steve sends in an e-mail about this topic, he had sex with his buddies steady girlfriend. Pugs says you never sleep with your buddy's girlfriend, but wonders if there is an accepted exception for this, like a revenge "F". Steve says his friend tried to proposition Steve's girlfriend, "Shante", and when she said no, Steve's friend made her promise not to tell Steve. Pugs and Kelly reinact the situation. Steve's friend asked Steve and "Shante" to give Steve friend's girlfriend, "Starkiesha" a ride home. "Shante" wanted to go home first. At this point, Pugs and Kelly get confused in their reinactment and have to have the listeners figure it out for them. At this point, "Starkiesha" is upset and wants Steve to come inside. But the reinactment falls apart again, and they're all confused, so they take a break ("Shantes" and "Starkieshas" all look alike to Pugs and Kelly).

Segment 4 (12:44-1:08)

Pugs and Kelly attempt to pick up where they left off. The question is, who's at fault? Your buddy hits on your girlfriend behind your back, which is an obvious guy code violation. Your buddy's girlfriend finds out, and she gets ticked off, so she sleeps with you. Kelly thinks that makes them both scumbags, the second more then the first. Pugs thinks the other guy deserves to get his girlfriend banged for starting all of it. Alan calls in with a guy code violation, but he goes on for too long and they hang up on him. Paige calls in and says the guy who banged the girl is the scumbag. Kelly says you'd be suprised how many times your friends hit on your girlfriend, as if they're in automatic swing mode. Eric says Emil hits on his girlfriend all the time, but doesn't think he means it, it's just automatic for him. Pugs thinks banging someone else's girlfriend makes them untrustworthy, and they need to be removed. A caller says his brother who banged his girlfriend, so he banged his brother's girlfriend. Jim calls in and says these guys were never true friends, because if they were, they'd of never have done this to each other. Pugs says the Guy Code only applies to buddies, and these guys were probably just trolling partners. Pugs says there's alot of girls who don't realize they're being flirtatious, and give off the wrong signals to every guy that walks by. Kelly wonders if that's a good or a bad thing when your girlfriend does that, because you want a girlfriend that all your friends think is hot. Steve calls in and says he's confused about Pugs' Guy Code, and says he has his own Guy Code, which is "I can trust you with my life, but not my money or my wife", unless he calls "no contest" in which case you get an ass beating. Pugs doesn't think that's your friend if you can't trust them with your wife or credit card. Adam calls in and says he doesn't think it's fair to put all the blame on the guys, because the girls are the ones making it possible for all this to happen.

Segment 5 (1:21-1:59)

And it's time for Sybil's news. Pete Sessions, who denounced Janet Jackson's public display of nudity, apparently has a past of streaking back in college. In Pugs' words, "You're a pervert Pete Sessions, HA!" Pugs says more power to you, Martin Frost. Kelly says Martin Frost is trying to paint Sessions as a guy who wants hijackers on planes. Pugs says Pete Sessions should be a sex criminal, for showing kids his weiner. Durex list of top countries that have sex, and the top country is French. Kelly says it's because they just want to smoke afterwards. Sybil gives us the Lyndie England update - she had a baby. Kelly says again, it was just so she could smoke afterwards. Kelly suggests an insta-poll, who would you vote for, Lyndie England or Pete Sessions? Pugs says he wouldn't vote. The FCC said Fox's new show Married By America was indecent and is fining it. Pugs and Kelly don't even remember this show. Eric chimes in with some information, and Pugs picks up on Sybil's irritation with him. Brittney Spears wants to have a baby, but not right now. Phil Jackson wrote a book that's coming out, about last season's Laker team. Esquire magazine put out two polls, sexiest woman alive and most womanly actor. Pugs guess Angelina Jolie, which he gets right. For the next poll, someone calls in and says Jude Law, but Pugs says English people don't count, because they're all effeminate. The next caller says Orlando Bloom, and Pugs mistakes him for the 7-Up guy. The next callers says Mel Gibson, and Pugs asks him what the hell is wrong with him. Sybil reads the list, in which Leonardo DiCaprio beat out Brad Pitt and Justin Timberlake. Another list, most likely to pose nude to revive her career, has Britney Spears at the top. Someone calls in and says Maculay Culkin as the most effeminate, and Pugs agrees, having watched "Party Monster". BET has yanked Eminem's video for "Just Lose It" because of Michael Jackson. More people call in and suggest Andy Dick, Pauly Shore, and John Travolta as most effeminate male actor. Someone calls in and suggests Ben Affleck, and Pugs says he's just jealous.

Segement 6 (2:16-2:29)

Kelly is desperate to get laid. Kelly met a guy last week at speed dating, but he didn't participate. Kelly ask Pugs questions about things she's said about him, but Pugs can't remember any of it. Pugs tells her there's no future in this guy. Pugs says Kelly is one of those girls that needs to be in a relationship. Kelly would like to be better friends with Pugs and Eric's girlfriends, but she knows she can't be friends with them if something happens. Pugs ask who's relationship will work better, his or Eric? Kelly says Eric, and Pugs gets offended. Kelly says Eric isn't as volatile as Pugs. Barb calls in and says Eric and Melissa will last longer because Eric listens. Kelly has been instant messaging on Ambien, and she's wondering if she has been telling this guy too much information, because she can't remember any of it.

Segment 7 (2:38-2:52)

Pugs and Kelly decide to do a little public service annoucement, and brings in a Marine Corps Major Paul. Kelly thinks he's hot. Pugs and Kelly wonder why they need planes in the Navy and the Marines, why aren't all the planes in the Air Force. Pugs tries to trick him with a poltical question, but he refuses to answer. Pugs says that's why they let him fly planes, because he's smart. He talks about the Marine Mud Run (www.mudrundfw.com) on Saturday. And that's it. Come out to speed dating tonight at Duke's.

Hey it's Will. Paco and I cut this show in half. I had things to do during the first half and he had things to do in the second half. So, here is the first co-written blog.

Paco's half of the blog...

Segment 1 (11:34-12:19)

Pugs wonders why the phones started to light up when they haven't even gotten into anything. Kelly says every time they tell listeners there are open phone lines, they call in and ask about Russ Martin. Pugs says they're not going say nothing about that, because "loose lips sink ships". Kelly is rebelling under Gavin's orders, and had some Red Line before the show today. Pugs wants the rest of the can, even though he allready had two Red Bulls this morning. Pugs can never find any Red Line at the grocery store. Pugs found a link of pick up lines for tommorrow night at speed dating. Pugs wonders if there have been any new pick up lines written since 1995, because he's heard them all before (I guess alot of guys try to pick him up). Pugs says these lines won't work on Kelly, because she's not girly enough and has too much of the guy mindset. Kelly says one of the lines Pugs read would only work if the guy was hot, which proves Pugs' point - these lines only work when you're hot. Kelly wonders what's the deal with all these guys wearing the same style of shirts at all the bars she goes to. Pugs coins a new phrase: "snoot boots", in reference to all the high falutin' douche bags that hang out at the Candle Room. Pugs pulls Emil to explain what the deal is with that. Emil says it's exclusive only because it's so popular, and you've got to keep the riff raff out. Pugs resents the only reason he gets in there because he's a talk show host. Pugs thinks it's cool though, because you never know when you'll see one of the Mavericks or some actor that's in town. Pugs and Kelly don't understand why they get things from the show. Some shot girl scoffed at Pugs until she figured out who he was, and then wanted to be nice to him, which pissed him off. A caller asks if Emil owns the Candle Room, but he says he doesn't. Pugs asks Emil where the cool places to hang out at, and they all agree it's the Knox-Henderson area. A caller calls and asks about the Stark Club, and Emil remembers the days back when ecstacy was legal. Pugs asks Emil to rate the different districts of town. Pugs thinks the West End is too touristy, and Emil agrees. Pugs wants to know what's happening with Greenville. They all agree it's crime, parking, towing, and cover charges that's killing the area. Pugs says the difference between Greenville, Deep Elum, and Knox-Henderson, is that Pugs feels safe in Knox-Henderson. Everytime Pugs is in Deep Elum, he thinks he's seconds away from a race war breaking out. Emil compares the bad neighborhoods in Chicago that are worse, but Pugs says they might as well throw up barbwire, because there's no draws in those neighborhoods like in Deep Elum. Pugs says the problem with Dallas is that politicians allow the suburbs to get more power then it, and all the good draws that should be in downtown Dallas wind up going to Plano, Irving, and Arlington. A guy calls in and takes responsibility for bringing hip-hop to Deep Elum. A 17 year old calls in and says he doesn't get why people don't think it's safe in Deep Elum, and Pugs and Kelly tell him that's because he's 17.

Segment 2 (12:41-1:07)

Kelly wants to go shopping for Speed Dating tommorrow. Eric says one of the sales girl's friends want to go do it too. Emil thought it was cool. Some guy got screwed last time, when the hot girl finally got to him and she used their time to go to the bathroom. Back to the last segment's topic, Kelly wonders what it would take to get more people to go to downtown Dallas. A guy calls in and says the area around Baylor is being revitalized soon. Pugs wants to know when they're going to fix the streets. A guy calls in and says the things listed on the "For your safety" signs in Deep Elum aren't the problem, the people who don't go there to do anything but stand around and intimidate people are the problem. Pugs thinks places like Chicago are more segregated then Dallas is. A caller says the owners of clubs in Deep Elum are irresponsible because they don't have adequate security on the insides. Emil thinks it's the quality of the security in the clubs, because in Candle Room and Scents you can't cause problems like that. A guy calls in to complain about what a caller said about hip-hop clubs causing problems, but Kelly disagrees that the hip-hop crowd is younger and more likely to cause trouble. A caller from Fort Worth says he feels safe in Fort Worth, but not in Dallas, because the police presence in Dallas sucks. Pugs thinks the mayor and city council need to get on the same page, and Laura Miller couldn't be less interested in cleaning up the Entertainment Districts. Pugs thinks it's patronizing the way she went to eat dinner in Greenville at 4:30 on a Tuesday with security to show that it's safe. A guy calls in who had a friend get mugged and left in a pool of blood in Deep Elum. Kelly's going to Deep Elum to see the Killers in a week.

and now... Will's half of the blog.

Dave Little, the original sniper, joins the show. Kelly wonders how Dave got to the fair on Friday without her. Kelly explains that last year she drove Dave to the fair and he complained about her driving. Pugs calls Kelly a talker/phone caller/make-up-putter-onner. Kelly clarifies that she doesn't put on her make up in the car because it's too cliche. Dave wonders if Eric has any comments on make up and Eric lets Dave know that he never puts on make-up while driving. Kelly threatens that Dave better be funny.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

The news is brought to you by Duke's and speed dating. Dave wonders if speed dating is better than marriage because he'll consider it. Pugs says that he finds Dave very funny but he might be the only one that feels that way. Pugs wonders if his wife ever bust his balls for not pulling in any money. Dave says that he's been doing this for 25 years and she knew what the deal was when she married him. Pugs brings up how his ex-wife was OK with his radio thing but after about 2 years of him not bringing home the bacon, she quickly forgot what she married in to. Dave says that he's had talks with his wife but he makes up for his lack of funds by taking care or the kids and grocery shopping. Pugs wonders if Dave is Mr. Mom and Dave lets him know that he doesn't have a penis anymore. Dave reminds us that he also does voice work and he periodically does radio.

Sybil wonders who has looked at porn at work and Kelly asks if she means this week. Sybil says that she knows somebody that looks at porn on their computers. Pugs points out that they all just admitted to it and Sybil clarifies that Cody looks at it during the over-night shift. Everyone giggles.

1.Queens university did a study and found that 1/3 of employees download porn while at work.
Pugs and Kelly think that Queens University should mind their own damn business. Dave suggests that Kincos has a lot of pervs... he then apologizes to Kelly for letting her down.

2. In Georgia, the Pickadilly cafeteria has recalled turnip greens...
Pugs and Kelly don't know what a turnip is and Dave suggest making a turnip pie with one. Pugs wonders if it's the same as a rutabaga and then questions what that is as well. Dave suggests making a rutabaga pie.
A guy found rat body parts in the greens and accidentally swallowed some.
Kelly wants to know how he could tell isn't wasn't mouse parts and Dave says that you never know if it's going to taste good. Pugs wonders why they recalled the greens instead of the rat parts.

3. British people top 5 fears survey.
5. Death
Dave wonders if toothpaste is on the list...
4. Heights
3. Snakes
Pugs wants to know if they have snakes in England and Kelly informs him that all the snakes swam there from Ireland.
2. Terrorism
1. Spiders
Dave says that he's scared of Islamic cockroaches.

4. Michael Jackson is threatening to sue Eminem for making fun of him in his latest music video.
Pugs brings up how Michael Jackson admits that he plays with little boys. Sybil explains that in the video, Eminem is sitting on a bed and has little kids jumping behind him.

5. Sean Penn wrote a letter to the creators of Southpark bitching them out about telling the uneducated not to vote.
Pugs agrees with the Southpark people and everyone agrees that Sean Penn is a stick in the mud. Kelly says that nobody thinks they're uneducated.

6. Nick Lechet (or however you spell it) might be splitting up with Jessica Simpson. He's tired of her meddling family and he's ready to have kids but she isn't. He's also jealous of her career.

*break*

Kelly complains that it's freezing in the studio and Pugs says that it's OK because they have Dave Little to warm them with laughter.

5. Rosanne Bar said that Dr. Phil is a used car salesman with barnyard psychology.. He's the origin of the dumbing down of America and she compares him to Hitler....
don't be mad at the good doctor... be mad at the idiots that buy into it. Dumbing down of America? I'm pretty sure Springer, pro-wrestling, and the public school systems helped with that... fatty.
Pugs thinks that's a little extreme. He complains that Dr. Phil spits out the same half-wit wisdom that they spit out but he makes millions off of it. Dave suggests that Pugs and Kelly get into barnyard psychology but Kelly reminds us that she has a fear of farms. Dave wonders why everyone bad gets compared to Dr. Phil because that's so 1940s.

6. The A-team is being remade into a movie. It's being made by the James Bond writer guy.
Pugs thinks they should get Shaq to be BA and Kelly pities the fool that sees that movie.
Chad calls in to say that Dr. Phil is sensationalistic. Pugs congratulates Chad for calling into the 100 shows in a row. Chad wins concert tickets.

7. Oliver Stone's father took him to a hooker to lose his virginity.
Kelly wonders if he's Jewish because she thinks that only Jews do that. Dave says that his father took him to a family reunion. Pugs and Kelly's agent lost his virginity on his bat Mitzvah to a hooker his uncle bought for him. Sybil was going to get her step-brother a playboy subscription for his 16th birthday.

*break*

Frenkle: a versatile word that can explain an emotion, an action, or a situation. I had a "Frenkle" of a good time. I got really "frenkled" up last night. Don't "Frenkle" with me.

Skank: a legal herb sold in most smoke shops. It's a highly potent and normally sold as a hand rolled cigarette. It's known to Frenkle people up. Also known as Salvia.

It's time for Kelly's panty talk. Kelly says that they spent upwards of 1000 dollars on lingerie. Pugs wonders where you can buy lingerie and Kelly says that most of her stuff is Victoria's secret. SHe teaches us that it's hard to find a Frederick's of Hollywood and that department stores are for if her grandmother was to start dating again. Eric brings up the pointy boob ladies that work in department store lingerie sections. Pugs wants to know if she does the garters and stockings because he thinks they're a tad bit too much. Kelly likes her nice panties and lingerie but she doesn't know if she can use it again. She says that when she got divorced she got rid of all her lingerie because it didn't seem right. She left all of it in his dresser and she thinks that he probably sold it all on E-bay. She wants to know if she can wear this stuff again because they were bought with a specific person in mind. Now she still associates this stuff with this guy. Pugs thinks that she's over thinking because guys don't care where it comes from. Pugs says that he assumes that when a girl wears lingerie, she's worn it for other guys. Eric has never thought about girlfriend's lingerie in relation to her ex-boyfriend until now and it still doesn't bother him. Pugs suggests that Kelly still has hang-ups on this former boyfriend. Eric prefers a skinny tiny thong with a sheer front along with an Elizabeth bra. Pugs likes a white cotton thong with a tight dago-T tank top. Kelly says that she's wearing that and shows Pugs her panties. Pugs doesn't think that his girlfriend owns any lingerie. He also likes a woman that comes to bed wearing one of his dress shirts. Michelle calls in and says that what Pugs is describing isn't lingerie. She also says that Kelly should wear what she wants to wear unless it was something that he bought for her. Kelly says that he never bought her anything and Michelle calls him a jerk. Jojo calls in and says that he doesn't have a preference. Pugs says that he also likes a bikini and he loves women trying on clothes in front of him. Kelly thought that men were annoyed with that.

*break*

Kelly says that I just told her that we should auction off her lingerie. Pugs says that they should but Kelly doesn't think they'll ever make enough money. Pugs tells her to just keep the money and keep it for her kid's college fund. Kelly says that she would like to sell a nice pair of clean panties and Pugs tells her that she'd make more if they weren't cleaned. Kelly is disturbed by that statement. Pugs says that there is a huge demand for used panties. Joe calls in and says that he would pay 50 bucks for Kelly's used panties. Joe tells Pugs that he'd give him 40 for a pair of his. Eric has a feeling that a guy would put on Kelly's panties.

BYE BYE

I Heard It Dude (IHID)
Ding: 17
Buzzer: 12
Sybil Giggle: 33

Comments? E-mail will@pugsandkellylive.com

*"El Distorto de Melodica" @ 11:17*

Pugs and Kelly thank everyone that's been helping with the Blog, me, Paco, James, and JMc. James came out to Coconuts on Friday and Kelly told him that he looks like the lead singer of the Killers. James admitted that he did. Pugs doesn't remember James or me being at Coconuts. He remembers Cody being there because he got Cody drunk. Pugs thought Kelly was a "shot girl". She was wearing one of the P and K Coconuts T-shirts and looked like one of the shot girls. Pugs thinks that she should take that as a compliment. Kelly reminds Pugs that they were talking politics at the bar but Pugs doesn't remember. Cody says that he thought he could hang with Pugs on Friday and Kelly tells him that he shouldn't. Pugs claims that he's never lost his memory while drinking with friends but he doesn't remember leaving coconuts on Friday. He explains that they had a designated driver on Texas/OU weekend so, Aaron and Pugs were pounding back drinks. Pugs says that Aaron claims that Pugs had 15 shots of tequila. Cody confirms this number because they were all counting. Pugs thinks that's really frat boyish. Kelly points out that these were big shots and Pugs calls them "double gulping" shots. Cody tells Pugs that he maintained well. He didn't fall over but he was arguing politics. Pugs sounds a little embarrassed. Kelly thanks Pugs for going to McKenna's party. Pugs showed up to the after party dinner. Pugs brings us back to his drunken stupor. When he got home at 3 am he wanted to play with his dog. Blue, his dog, was sound asleep on her couch. He told his friends that he was going to freak his dog out. He lounged over her couch and buried his face in his belly while proclaiming "Poppa's home... daddy wants to play!". She started to growl and snapped at him. Pugs realizes that in retrospect, he was being an A-hole. Pugs slapped it and the dog chomped down on his arm. Pugs shows the radio audience his puncture wounds. Pugs throws a closed fisted punch at her but she caught his fist in the air. Pugs shows us the wounds on his fist. Eric thinks that's a kick ass dog and Pugs tells us that he gave her a steak in the morning. Also in the morning, he tried to watch the debate from the night before but started vomiting. Pugs was suppose to wake up early to go shopping with his girlfriend and her kids for McKenna's party. He was unable to get out of bed and explains that it's the worse hangover he's ever had. He apologizes to Kelly, McKenna, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's daughters for his selfish behavior. Kelly assures him that they managed to have a good time without him. Kelly informs Pugs that the chatroom is calling him a drunk and Pugs tells everyone that he takes his potential for alcoholism very seriously. He describes his incident as a "bender". Kelly heard that Pugs called his girlfriend at 3 am and he tells us that he called her to tell her that he was attacked by his dog. Pugs thinks that if there ever was a day that he deserved to have his balls broken by his girlfriend, it was Saturday. He thanks her for not giving him a hard time.

11:34
*break*
11:45

Kelly calls attention to the Pugs and Kelly glossary section that I set up on the website. E-mail me at will@pugsandkellylive.com if you have any suggestions. Pugs has received an E-mail from a woman that is outraged that Pugs would hit a dog. She tells him that they're not like kids and says that she'll never listen to the show again. Pugs says that his dog is getting mean. She's older and crankier now. Kelly reminds us that dogs are pack animals and they'll challenge for superiority from time to time. Kelly complains that her dog stepped on her and wonders what's the deal with that. Pugs says that his dog is sneaky with her coup and brings up how she snapped at McKenna (Kelly's daughter) when nobody was looking. Pugs caught her doing it once and punished her. Pugs complains that he should have gone to the emergency room but didn't want to give the dog the satisfaction. Kelly attempts to focus the show onto the topic they had planned but Pugs keeps the train derailed. Pugs says that Metro-Aaron told him that he could take any dog in a fight. Pugs brought up Emil's dogs, two wandering guard great danes, and asked Aaron if he could take them. Aaron told him that he'd get his shots in and Pugs informed him that he would die of blood loss before anybody heard him scream. Aaron said that he'd put it in a head lock and Pugs told him that dogs don't fight that way. Aaron even went as far as to say that he could take on a wolf in the wild. Kelly wonders if Pugs is suggesting that Aaron is arrogant because she can't possibly believe that.

It's now time for the Pugs and Kelly institute for Human Growth and Development.
Pugs asks if the sex dropped off in Kelly's marriage. She describes it as a full screeching halt. Kelly reminds us that Shemp called her hyper-sexual so she dialed it way back. He never complained.

Horny E-mails the show. She's been married for 3 years but her spouse hasn't touched her for 6 months. She has gained ten pounds after a knee injury but other than that she hasn't changed since they got married. She gets hit on a lot at work but she hasn't taken any offers. He claims that it's his insecurities and she is fairly certain that he's not having an affair, he's home all the time. She's attempted to dress sexier, asking for it, and fondling him.

Pugs says that average marriages have a drop off in sex. He reveals that sex with his wife dropped off before they were even married. Pugs brags that he knows why it happens but doesn't think that women are ready to hear the truth. Kelly thinks that guys just lose interest and admits that women lose interest too. Pugs thinks that men are the ones that don't want to put out anymore. He reminds us that the hunt is over and that effects her desirability. Pugs brings up somebody that works at Taco bell for years. Eventually you'll be tired of tacos and burritos. Kelly says that she worked at Baskin Robins for a year and half and it took her 8 years for her to eat ice cream again. Pugs also informs women that they stopped turning men on. He says that there is no spice anymore. Pugs reminds us that we shouldn't marry for sex. Kelly says that she has a character, "porn star Kelly", that she uses. She has new characters that she would like to do one day. Kelly describes "porn star Kelly". She has more makeup, bigger hair, sluttier lingerie, and a lot of dirty talk. she misses "porn star Kelly". Pugs tells Horny that dressing sexy won't work because you're his wife and the mother of his children.. therefore, not sexy. Kelly wonders if it'll get fixed if they introduce characters. Kelly suggests that women pick up a ton of costumes because it's Halloween. Pugs suggests "school girl Kelly" and describes it as 180 degrees from "porn star Kelly". Kelly says that I just chimed in with character suggestions via instant messenger.

1. "oral fixated giggly school girl" Kelly
2. "crack whore with an oral fixation" Kelly
3. "celibate nun on the verge of exploding with passion... with an oral fixation" Kelly
4. "powerful executive sexually harassing a male underling Kelly while being fixated orally" Kelly

Pugs thinks the executive is good and says "if you don't have these on my desk by 4 PM on Friday then I'm going to have sex with you like no one has before". Kelly wonders if that's something that guys want their wives to do and Eric and Pugs agree, hell yes. Eric says that he's never had somebody dress up but he's getting turned on just thinking about it. Pugs assures Horny that her husband loves her still but he's just not interested in sex right now. It's not her, it's just the situation. Justin calls in and suggests that she prove that she doesn't need him. He says that she should go and get herself a toy and let it be known that she's taking care of herself. Kelly disagrees but Pugs says that he guarantees that the guy will get turned on if he found his wife like that. Pugs thinks that's the type of sexual aggression that keeps the sex in a marriage together. A caller with a weird name calls in and says that she should let him know that other guys are finding her hot as a way to make him jealous. Pugs brings up how Kelly's brother always commented on how hot his wife was and it turned Pugs on a lot. He likes that his friends are jealous of this extremely hot woman that he gets to have sex with. Kelly complains that she hasn't had sex in so long. Kelly has more sexual characters from me...

1. "biker chick that might beat me to death afterward with an oral fixation" Kelly.
2. "hot school teacher helping out the troubled kid in class, complete with plastic rim glasses and put up hair.. with oral fixation" Kelly.
3. "scared babysitter being driven home earning an extra tip (oral fixation implied of course)" Kelly.

Pugs, Kelly, and Eric agree that I might like oral fixations. Adam calls in to say that he thinks that I have an oral fixation. He also says that sex with a spouse is like buying a car. You want to try it before you buy it and you want to trade it in a couple of years.

12:22
*break*
12:35

I just heated up some chicken strips and they taste like rancid ass. I disapprove of these chicken strips and I think they're making me sick.

Sybil came running in during the break and proclaimed that she was having an argument with Cody. Pugs brings up the game that they use to play where they have Sybil guess the artist of the song. Kelly like how Sybil says them with such confidence. Sybil ran into the studio singing and thought it was Billy Joel. Cody said Elton John and he's right.

Now it's time for Sybil's "Who Dat?"

The Knack- My Sharona plays and Sybil guesses it's the Knacks. Sybil gets a few more wrong. Sybil says that she knows all the words but she just doesn't know who sings them. Sybil gets more wrong and yet, she knows all the words. Kelly and Sybil join in a duet and Pugs points out that Eric is dancing like a homo. Pilot- Magic plays and nobody knows it. Kim Wilde- Kids in America plays.. I love this song... and Pugs says that this is easy because he had her poster in his room. Sybil thinks it's Joan Jett. Cody knows it though. Sybil gets Nena- 99 red balloons correct. Sybil gets the last two wrong.

Sybil gets three correct.


1:01
*break*
1:14

SYBILIZATATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. There was a survey about romance and politics. 25 percent of American singles say that they'll campaign for somebody to get dates.
Pugs says that he'd do it but Kelly would never do it. Kelly met somebody at Speed Dating that said that he would never date somebody who would date the opposite way. Pugs brings up how you're never suppose to ask that question and Eric wonders why not. He says that when your guy loses it allows the other people to say "haha.. you lost". He also reminds us that it's a secret ballot.
44 percent of the people surveyed say that looks will be a factor.
Pugs thinks that's bad for Kerry because he's weird looking. Pugs and Kelly agree that Bush is very chimpanzee like. Sybil wonders who everyone thinks is better looking and Pugs says Bush. Kelly reveals that she's more attracted to the smart talk thing that Kerry does. Kelly thinks that Cheney might be the hottest of them all and Pugs is outraged because he thinks that Edwards is the hottest of them all. Pugs comments that he needs to start keeping his mouth shut.

2. Christopher Reeve, superman, fell into a coma and died.
The death trilogy is Janet Leigh, Rodney Dangerfield, and Christopher Reeve. Eric thinks that he should have died when the accident happened. Sybil wonders if this was a relief for his wife and Pugs says that it has to be. Kelly says that she won't judge her at all and Pugs lets her know that it would be OK for her to date Fred Durst even. Sybil wants to know the common bond for the trilogy and Eric says movies. Pugs groans at the suggestion and reminds Eric the reason why they call it the "celebrity death pool". They can't think of any connections and Eric reminds them that they're all in movies.

Pugs brings up that Ken Caminiti died... that really shocked me. He died at 41 of a heart attack. Rick Licht is in the story somehow and I giggle like a bitch. Kelly says that his name is "Dick Licht" then and she wants to meet the parents that would call their children Dick.

3. Matt LeBlanc might be gay. His former driver passed a polygraph in which he claimed that he arranged for gay encounters with male hustlers. He also watched LeBlanc have gay unprotected sex in the back of his limo.
Kelly thinks that's a bad limo driver. Sybil brings up that he's married and Pugs reminds her that Elton John was married. Sybil thinks that he can see him being gay but it would just be a side fetish that he does. Pugs brings up how everyone in drama club in high school was a little fruity. Kelly brags that the Pugs and Kelly show are the first with the "there might be a lot of gays in Hollywood" idea.

4. Jennifer Lopez, who was raised Catholic, is now a Buddhist.
Pugs doesn't think that's count because you are what your parents made you. She has to be catholic for the rest of her life. Kelly brings up that Schwartz is trying to make her Presbyterian and Pugs points out that Dr. Schwartz is Jewish. Pugs wants to be Jewish for all the holidays and expresses that he still wants Christmas. Kelly says that she just can't be catholic. Sybil continues, Richard Gere gave her a book and now she's trying to read it. The whole show laughs.

5. Jack Nicholson and Alec Baldwin have beef. Alec approached Jack at a restaurant and Jack didn't acknowledge him for five minutes. Alec finally reached his hand out and Jack told him that his hand is greasy before going back to his previous conversation.
Kelly wonders who is in the Nicholson Crew and Pugs says old people like Fonda and Hopper. Eric brings up that strangely dressed guy that sits next to him at Laker games. Pugs says that he's wearing one of those... oh man... 'black people hats".

6. ABC has stopped Starr Jones from plugging suppliers of her wedding to comply with FCC rules. She's been promising plugs for people and has gotten everything for free. Now she's mad.

Darrel calls in and asks Pugs about a "black people hat". Pugs says that you see Africans wear it and it's like lowered fez. Darrel has no idea what he's talking about and confirms that he's black. Darrel says that he has to go down to the Martin Luther King center and pick up his "black people hat". Richard calls in and says that the hat is a kofi/koufi. Richard lets us know that he's not black and describes it as a baseball cap with no bill.

7. Elizabeth Taylor broke her back for the 5th time.
Pugs reminds us that she loves the pain killers and suggests that she is throwing herself down the stairs. Kelly is disgusted that she threw it all away. She beautiful, talented, and loved. Kelly tells her to put down the pizza and quit hanging out with Michael Jackson.

8. Paris Hilton hung out with black people at a party.

9. Weekend Box Office Update
5. The Forgotten
4. Taxi
3. Ladder 49
2. Friday Night LIghts
1. Shark Tale

1:48
*break*
2:07

Kelly brings up how Bowie Hogg was at Hat Tricks on Sunday. They gave him the wrong meal and he ate it anyway. Pugs thinks that he could never send any food back. He was at the Pub and Grub one time and they brought us his Tri-colored Tortalini a little uncooked. Wayne, the owner of the place, was sitting next to Pugs and told him to send it back. Pugs told him that he can't because he doesn't like people messing with his food.

Pugs read this in the New York Times. Wingwomen.com is offering single men "wing-women". The idea is that the woman chats up other women for the man. Pugs brings up that Kelly says that she could be a good wing person. Kelly says that she normally does well but he got one guy rejected bad at Duke's. Kelly lets us know that he was being a bit of a dick. Eric thinks that this is an effective procedure because it raises the value of the guy. Kelly adds that women can serve as translators. Pugs brings up that Aaron and he are the worse wingmen for each other. Eric brings up Emil said that if Pugs and Aaron were pilots and actually wing manning each other, they would end up crashing into one another. Pugs told a bar tender that Aaron was interested in that he slept with 50 women this year. He claims that he has no idea why he sabotages him. Pugs gives Rob kudos for his wing man abilities. Kelly says that he has no fear and Pugs reveals it's because he has no dignity.

Adam calls in... no answer.... Adam? Adam? Adam? Another guys calls in... he didn't turn his radio down and now... argh.... he says hello and then claims that he can't hear. Pugs yells that he should turn his god damn radio down then and the douche says something about a truck. He finally says "hey I guess a Wingman man, sometimes it works, sometimes it don't,"... man, I feel like I just dropped 20 IQ points. They finally get Adam on the air and he says that he had a good looking female roommate that was his wing-woman. He claims that it worked like a charm because women are vultures. He says that women want what other women have and Kelly admits that it's true. Adam's phone starts to crap out... Pugs wants to take a break.

2:33
*break*
2:40

Pugs catches us up on the idea of the wing-woman. Kelly says that other women will look and think that they're might be something to him. Claire calls in and says that her job as a wing-woman is that they have to install trust into the other women. Pugs reminds us that well put together girls wouldn't slum around with scum bag guys. Claire says that women are aware of male wing-men because they know the intentions. She teaches us that it's a good idea for the wing-woman to bump into the girl into the bathroom and Kelly says that it's easier to talk in the bathroom than in the bar sometimes. Claire also suggests that the guy should never let his target know that he got his wing-woman from a website. A guy calls in and suggest using a dog as a wing-dog and Pugs wants to know if you can use a baby.

Mel Torme @ 2:54

it's the return of..

I Heard It Dude (IHID)

Dings: 18
Buzzers: 15
Sybil Giggles: 43

Comments/suggestions/sexy messages? E-mail will@pugsandkellylive.com

I also would like to give a very sepcial Happy Birthday to my kid sisters Christina. Happy birthday jerk ass!