The Pugs and Kelly Show is broadcasting live from Stratos. We start off with some Halloween costume suggestions (Flintstones, Scooby Doo, Threes Company) and pull out some Dr Remo trivia by giving away some Brian Wilson tickets. Pugs wishes he could go, because it's someone he wants to see just for the historical value, like when he saw Frank Sinatra. Pugs considers being Dr Remo. Kelly and Sybil want to dress slutty, because it's the only time they can dress like that and not be considered a skank. We garner several ideas, and jump the segment when the phones poop out.

***BREAK***


We come back to Stratos and get a kick out of Nick's sound byte in the 360 (the little machine that makes the noises). Kelly got a drunk call from her psuedo-boyfriend at 12:44am and we review the voice mail. We get an intoxicated rendition of Frank Sinatra in the mix, and the whole message is pretty embarrassing.

Human Growth and Development:

A dude (fake name John) moves here a year and a half ago and left a girlfriend 2000 miles away. He hooked up with a new chick about three weeks ago and it's going ok, but nothing special. What should he do? Dump the girl, but how? Does he tell her about the cheating? He thinks he'd like to continue his relationship, and email P&K for advice.

The response: A long distance relationship breeds infidelity. We also question the ideal of a soulmate. Pugs, Kelly, and Sybil agree that there's multiple soulmates for each person, but the chances of meeting one of them isn't guaranteed. A caller had a long distance boyfriend that she cheated on, but she proclaims she'll never tell. She's moving back to her hometown soon, and will continue her relationship and take her secret to the grave. The next caller says take it to the grave, but dump the girl. The next couple callers think John should tell her, but Kelly and Pugs further explain the mantra of "bury your head in the sand." We take more calls on both sides... in the opinion stew, we stumble across the question of if you tell your friends you cheated. Pugs is unsure of the guy code on that one. Kelly says yeah, Sybil no.

***BREAK***

We return to the topic of cheat and tell. The next THREE callers say that John should tell! Who are these people!? A caller says the truth always comes out, but Pugs and Kelly disagree. Kelly thinks that kind of honesty only breeds distrust and weakens the relationship. So with the mix of opinions on this subject, we choose to decide this like civilized people. The DON'T TELLs win. We tease "Don's Period Pieces" and pay some bills.


***BREAK***


When we return, Pugs and Kelly are stuffing their faces with various Stratos cuisine.

Don Jamison joins us for his weekly segment on female oriented programming for television. He's in Los Angeles with Jim Florentine for an Improv gig. He lives in New York, and was happy to see to Yanks CHOKE against the Red Sox because he wanted to hear what it sounds like to flush $193 million down the toilet. The intro flops, so we move straight into Oprah talk.

The topic is a sweet one... incest/rape. The first guests were these three sisters that were molested by their dad, a minister. He doesn't believe them because they are girls. He's a minister... they're girls... can't happen. Then we debate on how she can exploit these horrible events that happen to her guests, when Springer does the same thing, but is considered less noble. This segment gets cut a little short (i suspect a dump was made)... look for Don Jamison and Jim Florentine's spoof of Ricky Williams on Inside the NFL.

***BREAK***

I'm retarded and accidentally erased this segm...

***BREAK***

We're joined this segment by Dallas Cowboy legend Tony Casillas, who hosts a postgame Cowboy review right here on Live 105.3. For more info about our programming schedule, feel free to check out http://www.live1053.com/. After dodging some questions about the extent of his party lifestyle as a Cowboy, we talk a little football.

Dan Marino and Steve Young are on this year's Hall of Fame ballot and the boys agree that they are deserving of a first ballot induction. Michael Irvin, although an awesome receiver, is perhaps more likely to join the Hall of Fame on a future ballot.

We knock on Green Bay for a while. Pugs likens it to Tyler, and Tony gives us some insight on how dismal the town and stadium really are. Tony compares Lambeau Field to a high school stadium, with its bench seats and archaic restrooms. Pugs suggests if you have to live in Green Bay, you just get a hot tub and try to bang high school chicks like it's prom night (Mark Chimura, anyone?). Kelly picked the Cowboys to beat the Packers because Cowboys have a gun and can shoot the packer guy, but Mr. Casillas predicts a Green Bay victory.


***BREAK***


Coming back from the break, we hear Sybil's cute little giggle because her and Kelly are swooning over Tony's visit. Pugs accuses Kelly of leaving a "slug puddle" and recommends a diaper.


NEWS with the Almighty Sybil!!!

Club Stratos is hosting mutt masquerade

Bill O'Reilly's accuser bragged to friends about how much money she's going to get from raking Bill over the coals.

CareerBuilder.com did a poll on calling in sick.

People use the phone on the toilet.

The most popular halloween candy is chocolate. The hispanics buy more caramel, tropical, and spicy candies. Brach's predicts sales in excess of 2 billion candy corns. Kelly's grandad used to inspect candy for Brach's.

Fandango did a poll... J. Lo's favorite movie pairings!
11% ben affleck
30% matt damon
31% the snake in anaconda

Glenn Close is going to be on The Shield.

Sly Stallone is lending his name to a new magazine called Sly.

Kelly drools over some Stratos food, and we take a break.

***BREAK***

Stratos's sushi is AWESOME, and we found out that their sushi chef is from Nobu in New York City, the exclusive restaurant that Howard Stern mentions on occassion.

We're talking to Rhett Miller of the Old 97s. They are playing a show next Saturday, October 30th, at the Granada in promotion of their new album, Drag it Up. Pugs and Kelly are really sad that they can't go, and are surprised at his knowledge of flea markets.

Pugs dings his bell and says "weeeeeee". He then refers to himself as stupid. Pugs is in a good mood and Kelly says that she feels like.."buhhhhhlll". Kelly and Pugs discuss who takes worse pictures... you be there judge.. here ...

Pugs is on his 4th redbull today and says that he had a fight with his Lady Friend last night. Pugs was discussing a human growth and development with her last night. She took a side that Pugs didn't agree with and she said that he assaulted her character. She sent him a text message today that said "I'm not mad at you anymore" and Pugs is ticked about that message. Pugs thought it was over when he left Duke's last night but then she called him to start up again. He lets us know that this was their first fight and that it wasn't that bad. Pugs admits that he may have assaulted her character and apologizes for that. Kelly wonders what he was trying to accomplish with that and Pugs says that he wanted to shut her up. He admits that you shouldn't do that to people you care about and Kelly applauds Pugs on his evolution.

Pugs brings up how Duke's was transformed into a Boston Bar and Eric thinks that the whole nation are red sox fans right now. Pugs calls it an amazing serious and congratulates Boston's huge series come back. He points out that dirty hippie Johnny Damon got out of his slump. Kelly wonders what's up with him dirtying himself up and Pugs reminds us that Johnny Damon is a REAL pretty boy. Kelly thinks that he's trying to impersonate a troll. Pugs points out that it's the Cardinals and the Astros tonight. He reminds us that he can't cheer for Houston because of the instant poll. Kelly teaches us that the instant polls are legally binding. Gavin joins the show and he's very excited

If you haven't noticed, this is an incomplete blog. I had a family crisis come up last night and my attentions were turned else where. The emotional gauntlet that I ran through has taken a lot out of me. I've been staring at this thing for an hour now.... I know I won't be able to finish tonight. My mind has left me. I'm sorry but this is all I'm doing tonight. I'll finish this on the weekend. Send complaints to will@pugsandkellylive.com

Make sure you join Pugs andd Kelly for lunch. Friday 10/22 Stern to 3pm @ Stratos, 2907 West Northwest Highway, Dallas...

Hey, it's Paco... here's your Wednesday recap:

Segment 1 (11:04-11:27)

Pugs thinks Kelly looks like crap. Kelly went to the The Killers concert last night. Pugs thinks the lead singer of The Killers looks gay. Kelly thinks she's still drunk from last the night before. She admits she's too old to be doing this. Kelly thinks she did drunk, stupid things last night. Pugs is ashamed of them - it's a Tuesday night, for Christ's sake! Kelly met the band, and is pretty sure she said something stupid. Pugs never wants to meet the band, because he knows he's going to be drunk and going to say something stupid. Kelly thinks she "drunk-dialed" and "drunk-text messaging" people last night. Pugs hopes she didn't "drunk-dial" the ex, but she thinks she just "drunk-texted" him. Kelly thinks Sprint PCS needs a drunk mode that protects her from messaging. Pugs checks Kelly's phone to see who she "drunk-texted". She sent a couple text messages to her not-boyfriend in Chicago, which turned out to be harmless. But then Pugs checks the call log, and finds out she called him after the texting. Sybil thinks they should call him and ask what they talked about. Kelly doesn't remember anything. Kelly thinks Eric needs to apoligize for yelling at the record rep, but Pugs agrees with Eric, they talked about this crappy band more then anyone else has. Kelly thinks she texted her ex, but can't remember. They argued over who's band The Killers are in the past. Sybil and Drago went to the Pixies concert. Pugs thinks Schwartz is pissed at him for bailing out on that concert. Pugs stayed home and watched the Yankees/Red Sox game. Pugs is a Yankee fan now, and wonders why nobody knows this (maybe because he's a White Sox fan, but whatever). Pugs proposed to his ex-wife at a Yankee's game. Pugs thinks this series proves everything he said about baseball being America's pasttime, then reminds us he coined this phrase.

Segment 2 (11:37-12:14)

It's time for Human Growth and Development: Paul writes that he's been dating a girl for 7 months. He wanted to move in with her, but she was acting weird about it. Turns out, she has a fiance, who's fighting in Iraq right now. This is especially awkward because he's a veteran of the first Gulf War. He wants to know whether to end it, or to fight for her. Pugs thinks you need to get rid of her in this situation. Kelly thinks maybe she wasn't into the guy in Iraq, but once he got sent to Iraq she couldn't break up with him. Pugs thinks she's an awful person, regardless. Everyone is in agreeance, dump that bitch.

Segment 3 (12:27-1:02)

Sybil left a message for "Chicago Rob", Kelly's not-boyfriend. Kelly is afraid of the drunk message she left last night. They remind us to come out to Duke's tonight for Speed Dating. He won't be doing the Speed Dating, but he'll be watching the Yankees/Red Sox game. Pugs is pissed that nobody in the studio knows he's a Yankee fan. Kelly reads an e-mail from Louis, who was at the Killers concert last night. He doesn't think the lead singer is gay, he's just like Prince, really effeminate. Kelly doesn't have a "gaydar". Kelly also doesn't have a "drugdar", either. Pugs and Eric make a game out of figure out what kind of drugs people are on. Pugs says Eric is like a pharmocologist when it comes to this (Gee... I wonder why). Pugs and Eric talk about a girl they see alot who's always wired. Kelly has no idea who it is. They tell her off the air. Kelly had no idea, but Pugs assure her that this girl is "Cokey McSniffalot". Pugs says he notices the "twinke" in gay guy's eyes. Eric says he notices, but sometimes they're dressed bad, so it throws him off. Pugs argues some gay guys dress bad, like Jeffrey Dahmer. Kelly thinks it's ironic that twinkle is an incredibly gay word. Some guy calls in and says him and his wife are having an argument over whether or not the guys in the Sonic commercial are gay. Pugs thinks Sean Hays from Will and Grace is either the world's greatest actor, or really, really gay. Pugs also sees the twinkle on Richard Simmons. Eric thinks he's more asexual. Pugs tells people to throw out names, and he'll tell you whether they're gay or not. Kellys suggests Colin Farrel. Pugs doesn't think so. Eric suggests Tom Selleck. Pugs says no, but the moustache is kinda gay. Some guy calls in and suggests Kevin Spacey. Pugs doesn't know why, but his gaydar goes off on him. John Stossel from 20/20 is doing a test to see whether or not you can look at some and tell if they're gay. Someone from the chatroom says Vin Diesil, which Pugs disagrees with and says he gets no read at all. Someone calls in and suggest Bowie Hogg from the Apprentice. Pugs says he knows he's not gay, but he gets a slight twinkle. Pugs thinks it's because he's friendly. Kelly assures us Bowie is NOT gay. Steve, a gay guy, calls in and suggests Hugh Jackman. Pugs agrees. Pugs asks Steve about the "twinkle" and if his gaydar picks it up as well. Steve confirms Pugs' twinkle theory. The next guy calls in and suggest James Spader. Kelly agrees, especially after seeing him on Boston Legal. The next guy suggests George Clooney, but they both disagree with that. Next guy suggests, Leonardo Dicaprio, which they all are in agreence on. The next girl suggest Macculley Culkin, especially after "Party Monster". Then she asks why they don't make fun of Eric for making out with guys. Pugs said he didn't want to say it, but Eric has the twinkle. But Eric assures us he is not gay. The next guy suggests Mark Cuban, but Pugs doesn't see it. The next caller suggests Robin Williams, which Pugs has been saying forever. Candice calls in and says John Travolta. Pugs says he sees the twinkle, but he doesn't know. Candice says it's a proven fact, but Pugs and Kelly said they're not going to say that. She starts rambling on about how it's a proven fact, and they want them to take her off air and do a bit. Pugs and Kelly hang up on her, because she's obviously crazy. The next caller suggests Mario Lopez, and they agree. The next caller suggests David Schwimmer. Pugs doesn't see the twinkle, but thinks he's in the closet. The next caller suggests Troy Aikman, which Kelly doesn't get. But Pugs sees a lil twinkle. They run out of time, so they run through a couple real quick: Jacqueen Phoenix, no; Tim Robbins, no; Jean Claude Van Damme, no; Al Gore, yes; John Edwards, yes; Edward Norton, no; Jerry Jones, a lil bit...

Segment 4 (1:19-1:36)

Pugs wonders if he's too old to own a Mustang. He thinks it is, unless it's a 30 year old Mustang. Pugs thinks the 2005 Mustang is a good looking car, but Pugs doesn't think he could pull it off. He thinks he could pull off a 67 Mustang. Kelly wonders if there is air conditioning in it. Pugs says there is. Kelly doesn't think so. Pugs says if there's not, he'll get it put it. And it's time for Sybil's News:

GQ Magazine put out a list of ugliest sports uniforms of all time. Pugs suggests Utah Jazz, Oregan Ducks, and Houston Astros, but he's wrong. The list includes Tampa Bay Devilrays, Cicinatti Bengals and Denver Broncos. Pugs thinks uniform are too flashy nowadays in the NFL. Pugs likes the Cowboys uniforms, because they stay pretty traditional. Kelly thinks they should change the cheerleaders uniform, but because doesn't think they should.

Some woman in Cambodia stabbed some dude in the junk.

Sybil gives us our Lyndie England and crew update: Staff Sergeant Ivan Frederick pleaded guilty to all the charges.

Tracy Goldman pleaded not guilty to 3 felony DUI charges. Kelly wonders how you get 3 felony DUI charges when you get pulled over.

Maria Menunos was on the Tony Danza Show. Pugs didn't know he had a show. Pugs wonders if he does it in his garage with folding chairs. When asked if interviewers flirt with her, Menunos said Dubya did, and she got a bunch of flack from his people.

Renne Zelwegher says Russel Crowe is hard to work.

Blender Magazine asks Juliet Lewis who's crazier, Courtney Love or Michael Jackson, and she thinks it's Michael Jackson. Pugs thinks Juliet Lewis and Billy Bob Thorton are great at playing white trash. Pugs doesn't think she's very attractive.

LL Cool J likes having chocolate syrup licked off his abs, and Pugs doesn't think that's news.

Jermaine Jackson is speaking out against the accusations on Michael Jackson, but inside sources say he thinks he's guilty, and he's not the only one in the family who thinks this.

And that's it for the news.

Segment 5 (1:48-2:01)

Pugs and Kelly are doing retro games - first Sybil's "Who Dat", and now they're bringing back "Whokakke". But that's for later. Now, Pugs and Kelly talk to Bob Reno from BadJocks.com. BadJacks.com has just hit High School Coach Sex Scandal #200 for this year. Case #200, was a janitor who worked his way up to coach, then stole a car and took his 16 year old girl friend across the border to Canada. Pugs and Kelly remind all child molesters not to cross state lines while committing an offense, because it makes it a federal crime. A Brittish porn star claims a Brittish soccer player sucked her blood before having sex with her. Pugs thinks we're throwing the term porn star around a little too loosely these days. Another porn star streaked an Italian soccer game because she wanted more publicity. The Carrol fire chief was fired for turning his house on the marching band as a spirit motivator, knocking them over and knocking out a couple teeth. Pugs thinks that's weird, because he's never heard that before. A swimming coach in Minnesota has been fired after the girls turned "Two piece Tuesday" into "Topless Tuesday". Another high school coach made his own porn movie at home and showed it to some of his students. Pugs thinks the professional athletes have been on their best behavoir. Bob agrees, especially after the Kobe incident.

Segment 6 (2:11-2:33)

Pugs thinks they're out of their groove, because Kelly is hungover. Kelly reads an e-mail from a chick who found gay porn in her boyfriend's house.

Segment 7 (2:43-2:56)

It's time to play "Whokakke", a throwback to the days of old.

Question #1: Steven Spielburg, yamaca, and what you thrown down the well.

Answer: Things that are Jewkakke

Question #2: Drop a baby, run with scissors, and your sister.

Answer: Things you shouldn't do-kakke

Question #3: York or Jersey, Kelly's boobs, and car smell

Answer Things that are New-kakke

Question #4: Cows, children's toys, and Star Jones

Answer: Things that go moo-kakke

Question #5: A bomb, an old woman and her kids, or a foot

Answer: Things that go in a shoe-kakke

At this point, Pugs starts complaining about how much this game sucks.

Question #6: A rookie dectective, a first time board game player, or Paris Hilton

Answer: People who don't have a clue-kakke

Pugs points out to the guy who didn't get the correlation between shoe and bomb in the last one, it was referring to the Shoe Bomber, Richard Reid.

Question #7: Tatu from Fantasy Island, a toy poodle, and Pugs' penis.

Answer: Things that never grew-kakke.

Pugs melts down after nobody gets this last one. Schwartz suggests to Kelly this is "Games that should be through-kakke. And that's it. Speed dating tonight at Duke's.

Send death threats and hate mail to: paco@apacolypseproductions.com

Hey folks. Today's blog is from JMc, whose ADD has him chatting and blogging while he works. Maybe he needs some medication or something. For those who are wondering, he's not exactly a minion, so don't ask him for concert tickets or anything. He doesn't really have a tie to the show or the web site, so we aren't really sure why we let him do this.

If its 11AM, Howard is done for the day, I am at my computer, my coffee
has been topped off, and I am typing away, we all know what that means.
Yup, you guessed is, Will is on a secret mission for Kelly and you guys
are stuck with me, JMc. Sorry, but Im sure youll get over it.

Today on the show:
- The Killers are coming! The Killers are Coming!
- Dear Pugs-My wife is snooping in my email!
- Who's Dat with Sybil...the home game
- Plus Sybilization as we know it, listener calls, random musings and
Nutter Butters for everyone!


First, Kelly has got computer problems and she gets a lot of advice when
that happens. She gets instant messages. She gets emails. She gets
stripper-grams. Fact is, what she wants is one of the minions to fix it.
The rest is just a hassle.
Tonight is the big Killers show. Kelly is pretty psyched, as anyone
listening to the show for the last month can attest. They are her
favorite band right now. Kellys companion for the evening is the beloved
Will the Blogger. Kelly hopes he will have a camera and get some shots,
but shes not sure that is allowed at the Gypsy Tea Room. She would like
some shots of the band though, and of herself looking at the band.
Kelly warns us that Will intends to flash the band, so I am assuming he
cant blog today because he needs to get some new nipple rings. Im also
not sure if Kelly wants pictures of the flashing. Maybe well find out
tomorrow.
Pugs mentions once again that Kelly ditches her friends when she meets a
guy. He wishes Kelly wouldnt do that. Pugs wants Kelly to make and keep
good friends. Kelly says there is only so much time in the day, so she
wants to spend that time with someone special when she is in a
relationship. Pugs does give Kelly props for having so much energy
because he cant do that. He needs some time off. Like tonight, he is
bagging on the Pixies because he is tired, much to the chagrin of Dr.
Schwartz. (Chagrin is the 25-cent word of the day if you are keeping
score). Kelly does get some grief from Pugs for being naive though.
Going out alone to the parking lot when they left the bar last night
pissed Pugs and Wayne off. They want to protect her from the big bad
world, including her stalkers.
Kelly is excited about the Killers, in case you havent noticed. The
thing about the Killers is they just do the songs the way they should be
done. Dont expect the reggae version of Somebody Told Me. Tonight. They
may not sound like the CD totally, but Kelly wants it to be close
enough to enjoy. She is also psyched because of how cute they are. Have
to admit, they were really dressed sharp on Letterman, although I dont
know squat about cute. I trust Kellys judgment on that one. She also
shares a few fashion tips for the ladies. The first is, when in doubt,
ask Will what he thinks. Tonight Kelly is planning on a tube top, but
Will is going to critique her outfit. She adds she cant wear jeans,
because they dont fit her right, and she doesnt have an appropriate
skirt. Not sure what that leaves. Maybe sweatpants? Kelly is warned not
to try to dress too young, and she shares two more tips. First, she wont
wear shirts with words on it. She has a shirt from Sybil that says Los
Angeles. That is OK. Los Angeles Hottie would not be OK. Second, she
doesnt wear the short skirts with frill on the bottom.
Pugs takes the opportunity to mention how hot Kelly has been looking.
Kelly credits the working out, the supplements and being single. No
matter what the cause, it is making it hard for Pugs to focus. He
suggests a burka.

BREAK

Pugs comes back with an email from an Astros fan. She thinks Pugs is
doing a disservice to the great state of Texas by not pulling for the
Astros to bring the World Series to Texas for the first time. She
compares the plight of the Astros to the plight of the Cubs (The first
sign she may be delusional). She adds that the only game worth watching
last night was the Astros and Cards.
On that note, it is time for a rant. Listen. I HATE the Yankees, and I
HATE the Red Sox. But that is one of the most storied rivalries in
baseball, or any sport. When those two teams are squaring off for the
right to represent the American League in the World Series, it is high
drama. And when they play a game that goes 14 innings, that is baseball
at its best. Anyone who thinks the Astros game was the only game worth
watching shouldnt be allowed anywhere near a ballpark!
But, it does bring up a good Instapoll.
Should those of us in Dallas root for the Astros out of loyalty to Texas,
and a desire to bring glory to this great state, or do we recognize
that Houston is a city with a mysterious foul odor, where the people are
jealous of Dallas, where anyone from Dallas is viewed as the enemy and
whose citizens are probably the jerks who took the pink flamingos from
my yard?
After a long and drawn out discussion, we havea tie. Its 6 to 6, so Pugs
picks a line at random to break the deadlock. With the fateful deciding
vote we learn that, by a score of 7 to 6, Pugs and Kelly fans recognize
that only a drunken gibbon on heroin would root for any team from that
putrid hellhole that is Houston.

BREAK

Pugs and Kelly Institute for Human Growth and Development

Hey Pugs,
Long story short. Before I met my wife, my ex-girlfriend and I, pretty
much a high school love, became really great friends. After I met my
wife, the way my wife felt, I kinda let those ties go, and didnt really
have any contact with her. Old pics I threw away, except pictures of
like Prom and one of her Cotillion pictures. (Note, if you want to know
what a Cotillion is, get a dictionary folks. It is not, however, a
Mexican thing.) I havent brought up this friend of mine in almost two
years, since weve been married. Weve emailed a couple of times, which
consisted of Hey, hows it going, etc. etc.. Well, next month is our
daughters one-year birthday, and were planning a party for her, and my
wife asked me what friends I wanted to invite. I named a few, leaving
out my ex-girlfriend of course. Matter of fact, I wasnt even thinking
about her at all in the first place. A couple of days later my wife
calls me on my cell phone at work telling me she invited someone special
to our daughters first birthday party. Im like, huh? She ends up
telling me she got on my email account and emailed my ex, inviting her
and pretending to be me. Telling this old girlfriend that she would be
welcome and that it wouldnt be a problem. She told me that she wanted to
prove that she wasnt jealous of her. Ive never given her any reason to
feel that way about my ex girlfriend and never talk about her, but it
kind of makes me feel weird now. Is this a woman mind game or is she
trying to be really nice by inviting an old girlfriend. Any advice would
be of great help, keep up the good work.
Scott

Kelly chimes in first, since the question is initially about the wifes
motives. She thinks its not either or, and that its both a game and
trying to be nice. But Kelly is not happy with Scott. Why did Scott say
he was going to stop contact and then keep emailing? Isnt that basically
lying? Why doesnt he respect his wifes wishes? If the ex means nothing,
why did he keep in touch? Does he email everyone from high school? Why
did he hide this from his wife if there isnt anything else going on? Is
he still in love? Kelly sees that a friend like this could be bad news
when things are hard in the relationship, so even if its innocent now,
it may not always be. And the husband is putting this friendship before
his wifes feelings.
Pugs thinks its just friendship, and the wife is a psycho woman. The
husband hasnt done anything. Why is the wife inviting this woman in to
an awkward situation? Why is she snooping in his email? What kind of nut
sends an email pretending to be her husband? Is the woman insane? Is
she just mean? Did she think the Astros Cards game was more compelling
than the Red Sox Yankees?
Pugs also confesses he tracked down the love of his life, who is now a
college softball coach. I am wondering, is this the cause of his
fondness for softball players? Oh the intrigue in this mans past!
Our hosts let the listeners chime in, and we have some very impassioned
responses.
Kathy seems to think her 13-year old love is a similar situation. He
tracked her down, and they are friends now. His wife was OK with that.
Of course, 13-year old love is not the same, so the point is kind of
lost. And, strangely enough, Kathy agrees with Kelly.
Mark thinks friends are friends. Of course, he has friends he has slept
with, and his wife doesnt. Sooooooooo
Tim wants to know what the wife was doing in his email. Kelly wants to
know if it matters since Scott doesnt seem to mad about that.
Jeff thinks you need to dump any ex you dont have kids with, but the
wife messed up because she wants to get her husband to get back with the
ex because of some guilt she is feeling. Not sure where he gets that,
but at least he is opposed to going around creating bastards.
Kim thinks the wife just wants to see how close they are, since its
clearly closer than Scott admits.
Margaret thinks Scott is not innocent, his wife has figured it out, and
she is just trying to corner him. Margaret thinks Scott is unhappy in
his marriage and is looking for an outlet.
Josh is with Kelly because any wife has to assume that if the husband is
going behind the wifes back, its because something is missing.
Glen thinks snooping in email is OK because you shouldnt be hiding
anything and you should respect your wife if she has a problem with
someone from your past.
Landon thinks the wife is trying to give Scott a chance to do the right
thing and get rid of the relationship. We have another vote on Kellys
side. Good thing this isnt an Instapoll
Asong agrees with Kelly, but the wife is trying to prove to herself and
her husband that shes big enough to deal with the relationship, when,
really, she isnt.
Eric from an email thinks Kelly is really insecure, and it shows. He
says she is freaking and whining all the time, and needs to cool it. He
also thinks she is too messed-up to have a relationship. (Note to Email
Eric: If Kelly is so insecure and whiney, and you not only listen to the
show, but care enough to email, maybe you need to reevaluate some
things. Besides, as a friend said when she heard this, Kellys doing
something right. Shes got you listening, doesnt she?)
Toni thinks the woman is bored and wants to prove shes better than the
ex-girlfriend.
Skip thinks Kelly is insecure. He has lots of old friends, male and
female. So does his wife. He also finds Kellys stance unreasonable.
Jonathan thinks its a gray area. It isnt that important or hed email
more, but if it isnt that important, why doesnt he stop.
Rebecca thinks maybe the wife wanted to see how the woman would respond
to the email to either confirm or put to rest some doubts she may have.
Perhaps she has a reason not to trust Scott.
Tami thinks Scott has no respect for his wife at all.
John thinks Pugs is talking out his ass, and that if he were in the
situation this wife is in, hed be pissed.
JJ thinks Kelly is right and the husband shouldnt have lied, but that
the wife is nuts and wanted some incriminating evidence. He has managed
to come down squarely on both sides. Maybe JJ has a career in politics
ahead of him.
We close with this wisdom to live by. Kelly has a simple rule: if you
slept together, you dont have an ongoing relationship when you are with
someone else. When things get rough, and they always do, you dont want
the temptation to lean on someone where there could be a problem.
We also learn that Pugs never got any in high school, and Eric slept
with everyone he dated in high school.

BREAK

Sybilization as we know it:

Which celebrities would hurt candidates by endorsing? 31% said Paris
Hilton would make them vote for the other guy. 29% said OJ. 8% said
Martha Stewart would be the anti-endorser. Those who can sway people to
vote for a candidate include Oprah and John Stewart.
Parker Brothers has a poll for the 70th Anniversary of Sorry!, and asked
how often you apologize to your S. O. Pugs disses Sorry!, (Which I
promise not to tell my 6 year old.) 56% of men say theyre sorry, vs. 46%
of women. (Not sure what for though) 22% of men feel bad for being
slobs and drinking milk from the carton. 30% feel bad for leaving socks
on the floor. Kelly lets us know she thinks the milk thing is no big
deal. And across the metroplex men are now in love with Kelly even more,
if that is possible.
Schwarzenegger tells the media that his speech for Bush kept him from
banging Maria for 14 days! I guess thats OK because it sounds on the
news like Arnies groping half of California anyway.
Mary Kate Olson is taking a break from NYU (Her freshman year! And she
needs a break already?) People have been saying she has been playing
hooky, and may be having an eating disorder relapse. So her people are
covering her ass. Jocelyn says that the next US magazine will report
that she has relapsed, per Katie Couric. That said, coke is hotter than
anorexia according to Pugs. But heroin would be more interesting than
coke, according to Kelly.
Brittney says shes tired and taking a vacation to hang with Kevin. Let
the other bimbos take some heat for a while. She also wants a family.
Theyll need a bigger trailer I think.
Pugs interjects that Arlington voters cant vote wearing Cowboy gear,
because its considered campaign material. So voters get to wear paper
gowns if they wear Cowboys garb! Eric wants to test the system and wear
a Cowboys hat and a Kerry shirt. He also really wants a paper gown,
which seems somewhat creepy.
One of the guys from Soft Cell wrecked his motorcycle in to a car and
almost got killed and is in critical condition. Pugs feels like the true
tragedy is that now we will never get the follow-up to Tainted Love.
Tracy Morgan, from Saturday Night Live, got drunk, stripped off his
shirt, crawled around and puked at Suede in New York. No word on whether
or not Cody was with him at the time, or who was passed out in the limo.

BREAK

And, on a side note, best wishes to Guy Metzger. Get well soon bro.
Time for Who Dat! Everyone SHUT UP!
This weeks game is brought to us by Edwin, via email.
Song 1: When Smoky Sings by ABCand Sybils guess isnot a clue. (Not
Another Bad Creation)
Song 2: Freedom by Aretha Franklin, and Sybil gets it!
Song 3: Paul McCartney (What the hell song is this?)and Sybil guesses
The BeeGees.
Song 4: Jump for My Love by The Pointer Sistersand she nails it!
Song 5: Joy Ride by Roxette and she guesses Heart.
Song 6: Wishing Well by Terrence Trent DArbyand she hits it out of the
park.
Song 7: She Sells Sanctuary by The Cultand Sybil tells us Billy Idol.
Song 8: Behind Blue Eyes by The Whoand she hits us with Mr. Big and
Extreme. OUCH! Maybe Crosby, Stills and Nash? The Beatles? Rolling
Stones? The Kinks? A great hint from Kelly gets her there, but this was
truly a great Who Dat moment.
Final score is 3 for 8. Good enough to lead off for the Rangers, so we
will give her props for performance today.

BREAK

Time for a long discussion of music. Seems we have some U2 snob who hate
everything after Rattle and Hum. So which bands still matter? Bands
that sold out include Aerosmith, Van Halen and Bon Jovi (Ummdid they
have anything to sell out?). Some guy mentions The Fixx. Not sure where
they fit in. REM didnt sell out, but they cant fill Texas Stadium and U2
can. So there Michael Stipe.
On to politics, John Stewart is equal to Keith Olberman? Sure looks that
way if you read the news lately. How, exactly, does doing a comedy show
make his opinion on politics important? A caller points out that
Olberman started in sports, but the Olberman has a journalism degree and
a newspaper background. John Stewart got the job from doing stand-up.
Pugs and Kelly pretty much slammed that opinion.
So John Stewart is on Crossfire? The Crossfire guys have a problem with
the softballs Stewart threw John Kerry. OK, Stewart sucked up. But
Stewart doesnt see that he has any sort of obligations as a journalist,
because hes not a journalist. Too bad too many people get their news
from his show then, I guess. Stewart is right though. Why is it his
fault that the world somehow holds him up to be a newsperson? When your
lead in is puppets making crank calls, how serious do you have to be? He
wants the media to do their job, and they arent.

BREAK

The Cowboys have traded Antonio Bryant to the Browns for Quincy Morgan.
Guess fighting with Parcels is a bad idea after all. I'd tell Pugs off,
but I'm afraid he'd trade me to a country station in Waco.
In other news, Guy Metzger is on the phone and he doesnt sound as bad as
everyone said. He doesnt sound great, but he doesnt sound like hes on
deaths doorstep. He was apparently injured falling down the stairs after
being attacked by Ken Shamrocks kitten. Kens wife thought he looked
pretty messed up, so Ken took him to the ER and it turns out that the ER
docs were pretty messed up, obsessed with preconceived notions, wasted
a lot of time to discover that his heart was fine, and really strong.
But they did find out he has swelling of the brain, so he cant fight.
And thats the end of the sow for today. Hopefully Will will be back
tomorrow to provide the blog the way yall like it. He may be out though
if his nipples are too sore. Not sure about that.

Will here with his patented crocodile smile and heart full of boomstick. I had troubles posting on Thursday and I believe James encountered the same problems. I apologize. Hopefully things will run more smoothly this week. Now for what people truly care about, my health report.

I have an awful knot in my back. It sucks more than a hoover and Cody's Wednesday night date combined. I attempted to rub it out myself but after a while I realized just how sad and truly lonely it made me feel. I found several more gray hairs but I've realized that I just have to start facing reality when it comes to my old age. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard. My body aches, I'm not where I expected to be at this age, the music that these kids are listening today scare me... I think it's just a wall of noise.... and I talk about the good ol' days too much... 21 is a cruel age.

Now, here's the show recap bloggity blog.


Kelly E-mailed Russ over the weekend but her message got bounced back. She wonders if he blocked her E-mail address. Pugs thinks that Russ' box is just full.

Kelly says to check out the pictures from hat tricks.... look at them HERE ... I update that gallery regularly so check back every couple of days. Kelly doesn't care what Aaron says, he didn't carry her during their dart partnership.

Kelly believes they have Killers tickets to give away and says that they have to check with Sma. Kelly wonders what she should wear to the concert and Pugs complains that nobody knows the killers. They play some Killers tracks. Pugs explains to Kelly that she's more fun without a boyfriend. He says that when she had a boyfriend she just stood their holding hands while judging everybody but now, she's a barrel of monkeys. He compares her previous relationship as mud and he reminds us that nobody thinks that mud is fun. Kelly doesn't know what the hell he liked about her because he didn't like her job, her friends, or any of the places she goes to. Kelly still wants to know what she should wear at the concert and wonders if she can dress like a slutty band whore. Pugs scolds her and reminds her that she's a mother of two. He tells her that she can go to a concert, dress classy, and not look like a hoe bag. Kelly wonders why she can't look like a hoe bag. Pugs compares her to the baboon in the zoo with the bright orange ass. He lets her know that if she wants to go to the concert with her great big orange baboon ass and attract an early 20 something guy then have at it.... as an early 20 something guy that will be attending the Killers concert with Kelly, awesome... Pugs tells her that she should be going to see the Pixies that night with all the other guys her age.... I was going to see the pixies but then I decided that seeing them old, fat, and crappy might tarnish my thoughts on them. I still have flashbacks to the cure on Letterman.... She tells him that she likes the Killers better. They play "jenny" and Kelly explains that it's a song about how he killed his girlfriend and put her in his trunk. Kelly says that her daughter likes the Killers and appreciates that they don't swear. However, she has issues with the jealousy and murder themes they're fond of using and wonders if it's strange that her daughter runs around singing their songs. Is it worse to be singing sexually suggestive Brittany Spears songs or songs about killing people? Pugs wonders what ever happened to Rafi.

Pugs had a good weekend. He had a tame dinner with his lady friend before seeing "Friday Night Lights". He says that it's the greatest sports movie he's seen. He clarifies that he classifies his sports movies into two categories, comedy and dramatic. He saw Bill Burr, from the Chapelle show, on Saturday and Pugs describes it as the best 30 minute stand up set he's ever seen.

Kelly went shopping with Pugs' lady friend on Saturday for 4.5 hours. She got home and talked to her Chicago guy and Pugs teases her for wanting him to be her boyfriend. Kelly says it's not her boyfriend but admits that she did talk to him for an hour. Pugs is shocked that she was able to talk for one hour without commercial breaks. "hold on Rob we'll be right back.... let's talk to Dan Dan the dish direct man".... Kelly brought up how she used to have a lot of things but now she doesn't. He wondered if she got robbed and she told him that she got divorced. Pugs doesn't understand how Kelly has talked to this guy without bringing up any of the important life information. Kelly explains that they're used to meeting people that know their back story. She goes on to say that she likes trying to meet people that don't know her story. He wondered if she got divorced in Chicago and then moved to Dallas. Kelly explained to him that they moved down here and then got divorced. He asked if she ever had post-divorce sex with her ex-husband and she told him no. Kelly says that she was going to go into the whole "we didn't have sex for a long time and by the time they got divorced they were both dating other people" spiel. She realized that probably sounded very scary and Pugs thinks that Kelly's history is something that needs a slow reveal. Kelly thinks that her history would make a really good life time mini-series and Pugs suggests a book series by Harold Robbins. Kelly doesn't know who that is and scolds Pugs for reading books again. Back to Kelly's pretend boyfriend talk, he asked if Kelly still sees her husband and Kelly told him that she sees him everyday... seeing as how he works 20 feet away. Kelly tells us that he has friends that listen and she assumed that he would know the basics. She realizes that she doesn't know his age. He did comment on playing minor league hockey 10 years ago and Kelly thinks that must put him around her age. Pugs teaches her that good players start playing minor league hockey at 15 and you go pro around 18. Kelly complains that she can't date a 25 year old again. Their conversation then turned to an area of Chicago called "the viagra triangle" and he told her that you could go there any night of the week and take home a 40 year old divorced woman. Pugs tells Kelly that she's a 40 year old divorced woman and Kelly says that she isn't. Pugs reminds her that she's closer to 40 than she is to 30. Kelly tells him to shut up. Pugs thinks that this is crap because if this guy has friends that are listeners, then he knows about Kelly. He says that he's just gauging what she'll be honest about. Kelly says that he told her that she probably wouldn't tell her anything but Kelly said that she would have to. She reminds us that she talks about her life for 4 hours a day. She told him that it would be easy to fact check through my blog though. Pugs teaches us that the FCC makes me retell the show, word for word. Kelly wonders if she has to tell him about her age and kids or wait for it to come up naturally.

*break*

Pugs welcomes us back with more Kelly's out of town boyfriend talk. Kelly reminds us that he's not her boyfriend and Pugs thinks that Kelly will justify sleeping with him because he lives out of town. Kelly says that she won't do that... Sorry Rob.... Pugs thinks that he already knows things about Kelly. Pugs thinks that if Kelly talked to him on the phone for an hour and didn't mention her kids once, she should be ashamed of herself. He wonders if she locks them in the closet while she's on the phone and she tells us that she talked to him after they went to sleep. Skit calls in and says that Kelly should tell him immediately if she's going to date him. She reminds us that he lives out of state so they'll never seriously date. Pugs scolds her because he knows that Kelly's kids are her life. If she hasn't told him about her kids, then she is obviously hiding it from her. She says that it just doesn't come up and Pugs calls BS. Kelly says that she doesn't even know his last name. Pugs thinks that a woman should naturally flop out the kid factor and he tells us that his lady friend told him within the first ten minutes of meeting her. Kelly thinks that everything her kids do is adorable and funny but she knows that not everybody feels this way. Vanessa calls in and says that she is a single mother. She says that unless it's a one night thing, there is no reason to not tell somebody about your kids. Kelly says that they're moving this relationship way farther along because they're only getting to know each other. Pugs points out that they're not getting to know each other because they've been talking for 2 weeks and he still doesn't know that she has kids. Pugs thinks he's playing her to see how long it takes for her to bring up her kids and bets that his guy friends told him all about her. Pugs reminds us that guy friends break each other balls over girls that they're interested in. Kelly just got an instant message that told her to not admit anything until he's further ensnared in your trap. Jake calls in and tells us that he came home one day and told his mother that he had HIV. She freaked out and he told her that he was only kidding. He really just wrecked the car and she was relieved. Kelly reenacts Steel Magnolia. Pugs says that the MILF is very popular and he tells Kelly that she should be proud to be a MILF. Pugs brings up how there are guys out there that are into MILFs and points out that he's turning into one. Kelly can't see this going anywhere. She brings up how his motorcycle riding and sky-diving bother her. Pugs knows that Kelly really likes this guy because she knows it's not going to work. Pugs brings up how it's been like that with every guy she's ever dated. She knows that it's not going to work and she feeds off the drama. A guy calls in to tell us that he likes a woman who has kids because you know that they're not going to want to get knocked up and you know that they put out. Kelly wonders if she should just text message him that she has kids . Pugs says to go for it and we await the response.

*break*

We still haven't received a text message back yet. We welcome Tony Casillas to the show. He hosts the Cowboys Post game show on the station. Tony says that he's seen Kelly's pictures on the website and he tells her that he has lots of available guys that she might like. Tony says that he can only be a match maker and he can't make the horse drink. Kelly assures Tony that she loves to drink. Pugs suggests that Kelly take Tony up on the offer because he has money, power, and he's a good looking guy. Pugs describes him as the Rock if the Rock was an attractive man. Tony says that on his show Brian and he don't always agree but since Tony is the bigger of the two, he's normally right. Pugs says that the Cowboys aren't going to cut the mustard this year and Tony says that Plaxico Buress owned Terrance Newman yesterday. Pugs thought it was an exciting game but was so depressed about the outcome. Pugs wonders if Tony thinks that the Cowboy fans are wishy washy and Tony explains that Dallas fans are just spoiled. If you don't have a team in Dallas that makes it to the playoffs then they'll jump ship very fast. Kelly brings up how her and Pugs are from a city that has a strong history of being losers but the fans are loyal. Tony thinks that it's surprising that the Bears could be down for that long but Pugs assures him that it's not that big of a shock. Tony doesn't see Parcells sticking around for 5-6 years because the game has evolved beyond him. Kelly liked the play where they lateraled around a lot towards the end because it was fun. Kelly wonders if Tony gets offended easily. Tony brings up how Pugs kept tell him that he wanted to interview his penis the last time Tony was on the show. Kelly explains that she was having a conversation with two guys, one was a doctor, and the subject of locker room etiquette came up. One of the guys said that it's normal for a guy to get erect when guys are rough housing in the locker room. Tony laughs. The doctor said that it wasn't normal but the guy that said it has held true. Tony says that he has never encountered wood while in the locker room. Kelly says that every time she's showered with a guy it's always happened so she wasn't sure.

*break*

Kelly has received a text message from the guy she's been talking to. She thanks Sprint PCS for the ability to text message information on her kids. She has three from him and she thinks it might be a long explanation that says that he can't date her. Kelly tells him to go screw off, he's not even good enough for her, and don't even call her ever again. Pugs points out that we don't even know who it's from and Kelly thinks it might be from her ex-husband. They check the messages. It was from HIM. He says "I do know". Pugs says that he probably thinks that she's weird for not bringing them up. He also sent "that's the most interesting message that he's ever gotten, I don't have any" and "maybe I need to call in".

SYBILZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. Prime Time Live did a survey on who has more sex, republicans or democrats. 56 percent of republicans and 47 percent of democrats have said that they're satisfied with their sex life.
Kelly says that she wants to learn to poll dance and Pugs calls her a whore. Kelly says it's just for private moments.

2. A poll on Indiana man revealed that 76 percent of men would marry another man just to get better health coverage.
Kelly sarcastically points out that we don't have a problem with health care in this country. Pugs says that he was mocked for suggesting this at one time. Kelly wonders which is more humiliating while meeting a girl at a bar, admitting that you married a guy for health coverage or admitting that you declared bankruptcy because of health coverage. Pugs wouldn't have a problem bringing that up. Eric says that he could see his friends doing this.

3. Angelina Jolie is in Moscow looking for a child to adopt. She's found a boy named Gleb at "baby house 15".
Kelly says that they keep all the good babies in "baby house 15". Something is said but my radio loses it's signal. I scramble to fix it and I'm welcomed back with "Will's the best... he knows that we have 4 rules about what doesn't go in the blog and he remembers them all the time".

4. The Fantastic 4 movie is coming out and Julian McMahon is going to star as Dr. Victor Von Doom.
Kelly wonders why he always has to play doctors. Pugs wants to put a cap on super hero movies.

5. Outkast is coming out with a movie.
Pugs is not interested.

6. Weekend Box Office Update
5. Ladder 49
4. Shall We Dance
3. Team America World Police
2. Friday Night Lights
1. Shark Tale

*break*

Pugs complains that Kelly and Lady Friend went shopping for way too long on Saturday. He was hungry and wanted to go eat. He was wondering if his calls interfered with girls' day. Pugs says that he brought up Halloween costumes. He turned to his girlfriend, who's half Asian, and suggested that she go as Mrs. Livingston. He was surrounded by ten people and nobody got it. He got angry and called Eric and Sybil. They didn't get it. He asks random callers and they have no idea. Pugs gets more angry but gives Jeff the marketing director props for knowing the reference. Don calls in and says it's the housekeeper on "The Courtship of Eddie's Father". Kelly and Don sing the theme song together. Everyone they were hanging out with claimed that it was just a northern thing. Pugs is outraged that people who don't know anything about pop culture tell Pugs that his references are all northern things.

Pugs also says that Metro-Aaron has some red hair dye. Pugs suggested that he dye his think hair red and go as the Heat Miser. Aaron and everybody had no idea. A lot of callers have no clue. Pugs gets outraged when everyone says it's a northern thing again. David calls in and says "Santa Claus is Freakin' coming to town" and he's right.


For those that don't know.

Pugs and Kelly sing the Heat Miser song. Kelly says that even know the Heat Miser. Pugs plays the midi of the heat miser song. Pugs explains that the Heat Miser and his Brother Freeze Miser dictate the weather.

*break*

They play the Heat Miser song. Pugs and Kelly sing along. They also play his brother, Snow Miser's, song. It's a little faster. Pugs explains that he didn't like Heat MIser because he was ruining Christmas by not allowing Santa to land his sled.

Greg Hill and Geena Hill join the show. They're the children of Henry Hill, the mob rat that Goodfellas is based on. They have a book about growing up in the witness protection program called "On the Run". Kelly says that every thing that she knows about the witness protection program she learned from watching "My Blue Heaven". Pugs wonders if their father had money when they went into the program and Geena says that he didn't' when they went into the program. Kelly wants to know if the Mafia kills kids and Greg explains that the FBI told them that they would use them to get to him. Greg says that his father was a magnet for other criminals. It didn't matter where they went, they'd flock to him. Greg tells us that his friends growing up would think it'd be bad to sneak into their parents' liquor cabinets to drink the Southern Comfort but he'd go home to hefty bags of marijuana, bricks of cocaine, and cartons of guns. He explains that Henry's continued arrests is what got him thrown out of the program. Geena says that the only person that knows exactly what's going on is her father. Greg says that he fell out of touch with his father after Henry went after him with a hatchet. He was forced to defend himself with a fire poker. Geena says that she fell out on her 17th birthday when her father, in a strung out rage, tried to kill her. Geez... and I thought my sister stabbing me made my family messed up.

*break*

Pugs is outraged at e-mailers and his lady friend for telling him that the heat miser was an up north thing. He tells us that he has received at least 20 e-mails from people that know the reference... Hell, I'm a 21 year old jerk from Fort Worth and I know the Heat Miser....

*break*

Kelly wonders if it would be weird if she wanted to buy her own set of darts.

Bye...


I Heard It Dude (IHID)
I lost my notes. Once I find them I'll publish the results.

comments? E-mail will@pugsandkellylive.com