Breif show intro...


***BREAK***


PnK announce the plans for their five city food drive next week. Dallas is first on Monday, with a live remote from Stratos (2907 NW Hwy), and Pugs takes an opportunity to praise Sybil and berate Eric. Apprentice Bowie is hanging with us at the moment.

The Pub n Grub is hosting a fundraiser for the frisco cops who were recently injured in the line of duty. There's will be a silent auction this sunday at 5 and the Grub will be giving all proceeds from the evenings events to the cops and their families.

Apprentice talk. Pugs missed half of The Apprentice because he was flipping back and forth between that and a live John Mellencamp concert. Kelly accuses Bowie of not watching the show again, but he insists he did. Pugs got engaged at Tavern on the Green, the famous restaurant in NY at Central Park. This brings up brief prenuptual talk, and we continue with the show recap. So we talk about Trump and dorks and crap about a show I don't watch. I guess there was this contest to sell crap to brides and one team on the show did swell and the other team was a disgrace. So someone got fired. Trump's girlfriend is freakin HOT. Kelly thinks she's from Norwegia and Pugs guesses she's a Czech, and proclaims the hottest eastern european women either go into hardcore porn, or date Trump. Bowie shares his predictions for first and second place in The Apprentice, Kelly agrees, and Pugs accuses her of sucking up. Bowie is told that he should sell his bit for the last five weeks of apprentice talk and make some scratch. Bowie is planning a Christmas party, and Kelly assures us it's always about hot chick dressing sexy... and she's right!


***BREAK***


We come back to fat talk. We review things that black and latino people know that white people won't admit... ie: don't kiss your animals. Then we review what black/white know that latinos won't admit... ie: chicken is food, not roommate. We take some calls. White/latino know stuff that blacks won't admit... ie: Tupac is dead, and OJ did it. We take some more calls. We all agree we hate the white practice of putting the sport/cheerleading stickers on the back windshield with the kids name in the middle, and we also hate anyone that uses a cellphone in the theatre.


***BREAK***


Scott Peterson is a lying cheating son of a B*&$%, and we all know he's guilty.

Syb's news:
She'll be at the New Fine Arts at 12045 Shiloh Rd tonight with some porn stars...

Police used a stun gun on a six year old in Miami. PnK find this a bit excessive, and we gather opinions from local officers who were nice enough to call in.

In Corona, California, some guys grabbed a chick in a parking garage and stuffed her in the trunk while several people just stood there and watched.

Mavs beat the Heat. Dirk went ape-s with 41 points.


***BREAK***


Sybil met local Fox 4 newsman Jeff Crilly at the Adult Entertainment Awards last night.
Pugs saw an awesome car chase on TV last night that started in Dallas and went up 75 to McKinney.

BACK TO THE NEWS...

Scott Hamilton has a brain tumor.

Claudia Schiffer had a baby girl.

Michael Jackson sent people to rally against Eminem.

Julie Numar and James Belushi made peace.


***BREAK***


We chat with some sexy porn stars and call it a day.

Segment 1 (12:00-12:13)

Pugs doesn't have his tea this morning. Kelly thinks Christina might of dropped out of college, and got the hatchet like Cody did. Pugs wonders where Kelly's boyfriend was last night. Kelly says it's not going good. Pugs says it's because she's not giving up the "cookie", as they call it on his favorite porn site. Kelly admits this relationship is not going anywhere. Wayne from the Pub and Grub calls in to talk about the benefit for the Frisco cops they're doing on Sunday at the Pub and Grub. One was shot in the hip serving a warrant to the weird "goth" guy who killed his girlfriend, and the other fell off his motorcycle in a police chase. There will be a $5 cover to get into the backroom, which goes to the police, and a buffet. Everyone should go out there, unless they're communists and hate the police and America.

Segment 2 (12:24-12:56)

Today is 11/11. Pugs has a weird superstition with 11/11. It's the day Pugs he lost his virginity, 18 years ago. Kelly lost hers on February 15th, her boyfriend's birthday. Pugs and Kelly talk to Brad Sham, voice of the Dallas Cowboys. Brad finds the entire conversation he just came into weird. Kelly used to date a guy who came home one day and thought he was Jesus. Kelly is pretty sure he wasn't really Jesus, just crazy. Pugs and Kelly talk football with Brad. Pugs wonders if there's anything worth watching left in the Cowboys. Brad reminds us this is just the first half of the season, and you never know what's going to happen. Brad says he's not uncomfortable with the sexual humor on the show, but he is very uncomfortable with Pugs' "glass is half empty" view of things. They go into Kelly's Practical Picks. You can see them here.

Segment 3 (1:10-1:40)

Pugs and Kelly talk about the Five City Food Drive they're doing. On Monday, they'll be at Stratos in Dallas. Tuesday, they'll be at Bellbottoms in North Richland Hills. Pugs oppines about how much he hates beets. Kelly likes beets. This starts the great Pugs and Kelly Beet Debate. And it's time for Sybil's News. Sybil is hosting the Adult Entertainment Awards tonight. Pugs doesn't think he's going to go, because he'd be pissed if his girlfriend went to "Hot Dude Fest".

Yassir Arafat is officially dead.

Liza Minelli made her bodyguard have sex with her if he wanted to keep his job, and now he's suing her.

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake got into a scuffle with the paparazii.

The leader singer of Marron 5 says Leonardo DiCaprio shoved his mom around and gave her the finger.

Vincent D'Onofrio fainted after a rehearsal of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent".

Segment 4 (1:57-2:29)

Pugs and Kelly give away an Everbody Loves Raymond prize pack. Bruce, owner and proprieter of Planet X is in studio with Dennis Hoff from the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Dennis is in town for the Adult Entertainment Awards tonight. Laura Miller is giving them heat. Dennis finds that funny, because she used to write for the Observer, what he calls the Bigger Pimp in Dallas. Dennis thinks "whorehouse" is a derogatory street term for the Bunny Ranch. His customers aren't "tricks". Mr. Mix of 2 Live Crew fame shows up. Pugs wonders what happened to 2 Live Crew. Pugs likes the "junk washer" they have at the Bunny Ranch.

Segment 5 (2:47-2:55)

Karen Duffy of MTV and Revelon fame joins Pugs and Kelly in studio. She talks about being sick. She talks about peanut butter and jelly sushi. She's going to be at the Macy's in the Galleria on Saturday from 2pm to 6pm showing people how to cook from her new book. And that's it.

Send hate mail and death threats to: paco@apacolypseproductions.com.

Kelly complains about DAG on Love Line last night and reminds us that she'll protect Dr. Drew till the end. Pugs welcomes Gavin AKA "The Hatchet" to the show. Kelly wonders when they started calling him that and PUgs explains that they just started. Gavin likes the nick name. Pugs teaches us that this is a brutal business and asks Gavin if he takes joy in shattering people's dreams. Pugs has received an E-mail

Hey Guys,

As most of you may already know I am no longer with the show.

Pugs wonders if this whole E-mail is going to rhyme.

After I had a sit down with Management, we decided that my time on the show was up. Although this was not my intention, it was the option that best suited the situation. So seeing as if Monday was my last day, I want to take the time to thank you for everything you have done for me. All of you have giving so much to me, so much as to one day I hope to repay the gratitude that you all have given.

Everyone thinks that "repay the gratitude" is a weird phrase.

I could go on and on with the thanks, but I feel as if I should spare you all the cheesy lines that would have followed. And please don't see this e-mail as a final goodbye...I still will come and support you guys at appearances and things like that. Again I cannot thank you all enough for all the things you have done and the things you have taught me too. Well thanks for everything again. And.......I guess that is all I have to say, Thanks and Dang-a-lang.

Cody

Pugs thinks that Cody is cute. He demands to know why Gavin fired Cody and Gavin tells us that he didn't. Kelly wonders why Cody isn't there then and Cody explains that he still works for the station but he can't work for the show. Cody tells us that he messed up while board opping over the weekend. Pugs and Kelly reminisce about the guy they worked with that got caught masturbating while board-opping. Gavin assures us that would be a punishable offense. Gavin explains that he isn't with the show anymore because he wasn't receiving school credit. Cody has been hired on as a part-timer at the station and should have been getting paid for doing stuff for the show. Kelly doesn't see why they can't have volunteers and Gavin teaches us that it's slavery. Pugs wants to know if he can hire Cody to be his personal assistant at minimum wage and Gavin tells him that he can't. Kelly says that they can and Gavin thinks that's something they'll discuss at a later date. Pugs admits that he doesn't want to pay Cody. Gavin tells P and K that they'll look into adding somebody as the show expands. Kelly doesn't know what that means and Gavin explains that it's management's way of putting things off. He goes on and on about how what Cody was doing was "illegal"... whatever that means... Gavin thinks that Cody should thank him for allowing him to still work there and Cody proclaims that he'll thank Gavin everyday. Gavin thinks that Pugs should thank him too and Pugs reminds Gavin that he thanks him all the time. Gavin apologizes for adhering to company policy. Pugs wonders if Cody will be going back to Wal-mart and Cody reminds Pugs that he's still working for the station. Random people start thanking Gavin for letting them work there as they walk by. Pugs points out that Cody wanted to work for the show for free and Gavin lets Pugs know that he doesn't want any of his employees working for free. Everyone laughs. A guy calls in and says that they can hire Cody as a body guard and Pugs teaches us that Kelly needs somebody to walk her to her car. Pugs asks Gavin if Cody can still come to remotes and Gavin says that Cody can do whatever he wants. Pugs wonders if Cody can get him coffee during a remote and Gavin says that he has the r ight to refuse him. Gavin points out that once Christina Brinkley's internship is up she'll be gone too. Pugs and Kelly both agree that if you don't stick around long after your internship is up then you won't get too far.

*break*
Pugs has some research on in-breeding and invites Eric to remind us why it's been the hot topic on the show as of late. Eric reminds us that his friend Same Penis Mike received mouth fun from his cousin. Pugs reveals that he was shocked by the amount of people that didn't see any thing wrong with that. Kelly thinks that when you start a conversation with "well, technically" you're not off to a good start. Pugs doesn't think of any of his family members are hot and Kelly assures us that she has never wanted to sleep with nay of her step-cousins. John calls in and asks if it's OK to sleep with your mom's first cousin's daughter. She took his virginity and rocked his world all through out college. Pugs thinks that it's OK but gross. John says that there was nobody else around and Pugs and Kelly are officially disgusted. John teaches us that when you're 16, it makes boring family Christmas get togethers more fun. Josh calls in to ask if it's wrong for his brother to marry his wife's cousin. Pugs and Kelly don't see anything wrong with that and wonder why somebody would find that to be wrong. Sue calls in to say that her ex-boyfriend was married to his second cousin and had an affair with his step sister. Everyone agrees that is gross and Sue reveals that the step-sister told her that they started fooling around when she was 12. That would have made him 19.

Pugs has a 2 year old USA today article that reveals that it's OK for cousins to have babies. Pugs is shocked that the scientist behind this study are from Stanford and not Alabama. It is less likely that there will be deformity amongst the offspring of first cousins then previously believed. He hopes that they didn't spend any federal money on this study. In America, it is believed that 1 in 1000 marriages are between first cousins.

*break*

We're back with more inbreeding talk. Michael calls in to say that he's living with his ex-wife's sister and he doesn't see anything wrong with that. Kelly wonders what his child thinks and Michael says that he guesses that he now has an Aunt Mama. Pugs and Kelly agree that it's OK but very Springer-esque. John calls in to say that the rule should be "anyone that can show up for Christmas dinner is off-limits". Gene calls in and reveals that he's been sleeping with his two adopted sisters. Kelly accuses him of bragging. Pugs thinks that is majorly messed up and Kelly wonders if there was any abuse while growing up. Gene says that there was a lot of abuse. Pugs wonders how they started and Gene tells us that he had to share the same bed as his sisters. Eventually, the younger one started playing with him. Pugs asks if he's having a good time with all that. Toni calls in to ask if it's Ok to date her Uncle's wife's nephew. Pugs tells her that it's OK but suggests that if you have to ask if it's OK than it probably isn't OK with you. Larry calls in to say that when he was 13 his cousin "showed him something she learned". Kelly thinks that it screams abuse. Larry shares that it's been continuing for 40 years. While Pugs didn't seemed bothered by the talk of cousin sex, he gets sickened by the thought of old cousin sex.

*break*

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. A 29 year old woman is being charged with having sex with an 8 year old boy. She considered the boy to be her boyfriend.
Pugs and Kelly agree that this woman is insane.
Police investigated after the third grader's mother discovered a note from the woman. It read " I only want you".
Pugs wonders if an 8 year old can read and Kelly tells him that they can. She reminds him that she has an 8 year old son. Declan recently told her that he knows that he'll probably have crushes in the future but he's still supporting his icky stance when it comes to girls. Pugs wants to know if an 8 year old boy can get an erection. Shemp joins the show to inform Pugs that an 8 year old can achieve an erection. Shemp says that Declan refers to it as a "love alert". Kelly reveals that Declan wanted to sit by Lady Friend's 8 year old daughter while they were at the movies.... I can see the e-mail now.. "Dear P and K, in regards to inbreeding... is it wrong for me to be interested in my mother's partner's "partner's" daughter?".... Shemp also told Declan to stop wrestling with the baby sitters because he has started to press against them. He also tells us that he told Declan to stop looking at Maxim magazines in the restroom for long periods of time. Kelly would let him look at the magazine because he needs to even out. She has him watching a lot of Oprah. Shemp tells us that over the weekend Declan told him that he really had to get home because a fabulous episode of Trading Spaces was coming on. Kelly and Shemp reveal that McKenna would like to be married within the year.
Sybil continues the story... The boy is a play mate of the woman's 7 year old daughter. The woman also gave the boy a key to her apartment.
Pugs thinks that she needs to go to a mental hospital instead of a prison. Kelly points out that if the genders were reversed, he'd feel differently. Pugs still wants to know if an 8 year old can sexually perform.

2. A guy got his legs pulled into a wood chipper and died.
Pugs doesn't want to be within 10 feet of a wood chipper and Kelly has seen "Fargo".

3. An inmate was peering out of his sell door and the doors closed on him, killing him.
PUgs says that it's no big lose and Kelly teaches us that doors in prison don't close like doors in Star Trek. She imitates the sounds that each door make to further prove her point.

4. The Mavericks beat the Warriors.
Pugs thought they had a mavericks theme and Eric says that Cody was suppose to load it into the 360. Sybil thinks that they should just blame Cody for everything that goes wrong now.

5. Michael Phelps, 6 time Olympic medalist, has been issued a DUI.

6. Another girls says that she was banging Bill Clinton back when he was Governor of Arkansas.

7. Nicole Kidman and Steve Bing are dating.
Kelly thinks that Steve Bing is a dick.

*break*

Mr. Tony Dorsett joins the show and he's promoting www.tacklingmenshealth.com . Pugs says that growing up his guys were Walter Payton, Tony Dorsett, and Earl Campbell. Mr. Dorsett doesn't like a lot of the knucklehead mistakes that today's team is making this year. Mr. Dorsett thinks that they over-achieved last year and Pugs shares with him his "first year fluke" theory. Kelly wonders if Quincy Carter was under-rated and Pugs tells her that he's starting for the Jets this week. Kelly informs Pugs that she wasn't talking to him. Mr. Dorsett would love to be a good will ambassador for the Dallas Cowboys and informs anybody that has any say in that, that might be listening, he's available.... meanwhile Paco and I decide that we should become good will ambassadors for the Pugs and Kelly show... Kelly wonders how a young running back would get a hold of Mr. Dorsett for any advice and Mr. Dorsett reveals that he is willing to talk to any young athlete. He tells us that any Dallas Cowboy can find him by just asking management how to get a hold do him. Mr. Dorsett wants men to become more pro-active in their health. Pugs wants to know if Mr. Dorsett has tried viagra or levitra.... what's up with Pugs' questions about former Dallas Cowboys named Tony and their wieners?.... and Mr. Dorsett has tried levitra. Pugs says that he loves taking all of them even though he really doesn't need them. Mr Dorsett tells Pugs that he should always consult a doctor before taking any type of medication. Pugs reminds us that people can check their macho stuff at the door because Mike Ditka is involved. Chad calls in and brings up Anthony Jr. Mr. Dorsett says that he should be playing for a team right now and suggests that the Cowboys should pick him up. Pugs reveals that Anthony Jr was at their appearance last night and Kelly comments on how his ear is glued to his phone. Patti calls in to let Mr. Dorsett know that he's handsome.

*break*

Pugs didn't like the Rebel Billionaire. Kelly misses her friend Sherry. Pugs gets dumped out for saying something about Sherry.

Kelly says that when they go places, they have specific places that they sit at. At their appearance at Nick's Sports City cafe last night, there was somebody in their spot. They reveal that the problem was more complicated because the guy was a retarded person. Pugs and Kelly tells us that this was the same retarded person they thought might be faking his actual level of retardation as an excuse to inappropriately touch women. Metro-Aaron wondered why they just didn't go and kick him out. Pugs didn't think it would be wise to make a fan's first impression of Pugs and Kelly, as "retarded guy kicker out of chairer". Pugs and Kelly bring up how rude Wayne is to the guy. Kelly lets us know that Wayne knows him better so he would be a better judge of character. Wayne calls in and says that he use to be nice to the guy. After a while, he drove him insane because he's trying to be funny. Wayne complains that he can't understand what he's saying most of the time. Pugs tells Wayne that he can't understand what Wayne says half the time but he doesn't hold it against him. A guy calls in to say that Kelly should get a guy to smack him around... this sounds like a new job for the newly self-appointed good will ambassadors... Kelly doesn't want to burn in hell though.

FIN...


hope you enjoyed this blog, you really have no idea what I went through to post this one... please be grateful. I probably shaved a good 40 years off my life for this one.

Get well soon wishes can be sent to Will@pugsandkellylive.com

Kelly had her date with the "Out-of-Town-Psuedo-Boyfriend (OTPB)" this weekend. She went to the wrong Mi Cocina first and then eventually met OTPB at the right one. Alfie had a dismal opening. Kelly's date was nerve racking, which is easily remedied with heavy drinking, in this case, margaritas and mambo taxis. A caller informs us that the chosen spirit in a mambo taxi is Everclear. Ouch. Kelly and OTPB bounced around and ended up at TABC. Pugs wants to know how far she went. Kelly didn't give it up and Pugs berates her for not getting any. Kelly doesn't want to hit it if there's no chance of a relationship and declares that long distance relationships are stupid. Pugs theorizes that Kelly really wants to bang OTPB, but she's holding out for sociey's approval.

We take an insta-poll on whether or not Kelly should bang this dude.

Sybil runs the tally, and the listeners vote 6-4 in favor of Kelly nailing the guy.


***BREAK***


Wyndale sends an email and pleads his case in favor of Kelly getting humped by OTPB.

We have some post Cowboy game recap time with Tony Casillas. The loss to the Bengals yesterday was horrible. The boys whipped out a 26-3 stinker, with no redeeming footnotes; however, Pugs, Kelly, and Tony all agree the new Cincinnati uniforms look cool. It's highly unlikely the Cowboys will make the playoffs this year, and it's only the halfway point. Parcells sounds like a beaten man, and we hear his exhausted audio from the post game press conference. For the next few minutes we dwell on how much the Cowboys suck. The poor guys have to play the Eagles next week. Kelly finds the practice of using the first down chains to be archaic and suggests they use lasers like the wall levels they sell on TV. Pugs recommends they use lasers for the goalposts, too.


***BREAK***


Come out to Nick's tonight for Monday Night Football. Seriously, Metallica tickets, man.

DELENE CALLS IN! That's the crazy laughing chick I recorded last week at Dukes. Shes been getting emails and calls from friends who heard her laugh on our show friday. Delene labels me (james) a pervert and shares her freakish laugh with us some more. Hopefully she'll come out to an appearance soon.


***BREAK***


Go to Nick's tonight in the Colony.

Sybil thinks the Grudge sucks.

Sybilization as We Know It:
Eric will be at the Blockbuster in Flower Mound for the Halo2 midnight sale.

The Mavs beat the Grizzlies saturday night.

Britney Spears is taking a couple years off from touring and whatnot.

Paris Hilton had some issues at the playboy mansion's Halloween party. Drama queen.

Some chick is suing Burt Reynolds for stepping on her foot.

Pugs and Kelly were not impressed with the Dallas TV show reunion.


***BREAK***


Sybilization continues...

James Belushi and Julie Numar are neighbors and can't get along.

Mariah Carey and Puff Daddy were holding hands.

Sybil's Box Office recap:
10 Team America
9 ladder 49
8 friday night lights
7 shark tale
6 shall we dance
5 alfie
4 saw
3 the grudge
2 ray
1 the incredibles

Pugs doesn't want to go see The Incredibles in a theatre with a bunch of freakin kids.

Greg Hill chimes in with his two cents... Pugs is a pussy, and Kelly is lookin fine these days.


***BREAK***


Pugs and Kelly Human Growth and Development:

Jeff from Lewisville writes...He met a chick and they've tried to go out a few times, but she always breaks the plans. Three dates have been cancelled... should he stop asking her out?
Yeah. This chick isn't interested in you, man. Maybe you should hit the gym.


***BREAK***


Ruben Studdard is fat as hell. 450 pounds!? Jesus Christ! Pugs shares with us the press release saying Ruben is quitting his diet. We lament the plight of the fat man, and show no sympathy. Fat people are fat because they eat like livestock. Fat parents have fat kids. No kid wants to be fat in high school. Freakin pigs, get a hold of yourself and put the chicken down. Eat a piece of fruit.

We hear from some callers who've had issues with the fatties of the world, but no obese person was able to stop eating long enough to pick up the phone and call in.


***BREAK***


We were going to do Don Jamieson's Period Pieces, but after the cool new intro, we were out of time.

Kelly had her date with the "Out-of-Town-Psuedo-Boyfriend (OTPB)" this weekend. She went to the wrong Mi Cocina first and then eventually met OTPB at the right one. Alfie had a dismal opening. Kelly's date was nerve racking, which is easily remedied with heavy drinking, in this case, margaritas and mambo taxis. A caller informs us that the chosen spirit in a mambo taxi is Everclear. Ouch. Kelly and OTPB bounced around and ended up at TABC. Pugs wants to know how far she went. Kelly didn't give it up and Pugs berates her for not getting any. Kelly doesn't want to hit it if there's no chance of a relationship and declares that long distance relationships are stupid. Pugs theorizes that Kelly really wants to bang OTPB, but she's holding out for society's approval.

We take an insta-poll on whether or not Kelly should bang this dude.

Sybil runs the tally, and the listeners vote 6-4 in favor of Kelly nailing the guy.


***BREAK***


Wyndale sends an email and pleads his case in favor of Kelly getting humped by OTPB.

We have some post Cowboy game recap time with Tony Casillas. The loss to the Bengals yesterday was horrible. The boys whipped out a 26-3 stinker, with no redeeming footnotes; however, Pugs, Kelly, and Tony all agree the new Cincinnati uniforms look cool. It's highly unlikely the Cowboys will make the playoffs this year, and it's only the halfway point. Parcells sounds like a beaten man, and we hear his exhausted audio from the post game press conference. For the next few minutes we dwell on how much the Cowboys suck. The poor guys have to play the Eagles next week. Kelly finds the practice of using the first down chains to be archaic and suggests they use lasers like the wall levels they sell on TV. Pugs recommends they use lasers for the goalposts, too.


***BREAK***


Come out to Nick's tonight for Monday Night Football. Seriously, Metallica tickets, man.

DELENE CALLS IN! That's the crazy laughing chick I recorded last week at Dukes. Shes been getting emails and calls from friends who heard her laugh on our show friday. Delene labels me (james) a pervert and shares her freakish laugh with us some more. Hopefully she'll come out to an appearance soon.


***BREAK***


Go to Nick's tonight in the Colony.

Sybil thinks the Grudge sucks.

Sybilization as We Know It:
Eric will be at the Blockbuster in Flower Mound for the Halo2 midnight sale.

The Mavs beat the Grizzlies saturday night.

Britney Spears is taking a couple years off from touring and whatnot.

Paris Hilton had some issues at the playboy mansion's Halloween party. Drama queen.

Some chick is suing Burt Reynolds for stepping on her foot.