James, former producer/intern, is running for Dallas City Council. Pugs says that they want to talk to him but he's in class. They play James' Maverick song to reintroduce everybody to James. Pugs doesn't think that playing politics is James' strong point and points out that he couldn't even play the political game well enough to stay in the building. Kelly reminds us that James wants to be president. They agree that James can never be president. Pugs suggests going through James apartment right now to see what's lying around that would prevent him from ever being president. James asks to set up a table at the next appearance in order to get enough signatures to be on the ballot. He also has voter registration cards in case anybody needs to register. Pugs thinks that James probably stole them even though they probably would have given them to him. James says that this election is important because the strong mayor referendum is on the ballot. He is also going to write a new campaign song. Headkrack (bad ass hip hop artist and radio DJ) is on the paper work and will be working as James' campaign manager. Kelly says that she would put Headkrack in charge of the money and Eric points out that he's business savvy. Pugs lets us know that while he loves Headkrack, he's not going to vote for anybody that has somebody named Headkrack working for him. Kelly wonders if James would take the job seriously. Pugs points out that he didn't take his radio job seriously. Pugs reminds us that James dicked around a lot. He thinks that the minute James disagrees with anybody on the council, somebody will hire a private investigator and destroy him. Kelly thinks that in order for him to be destroyed, he would have to care. She believes that he'll probably just say, "yeah, I remember that". Pugs gives James credit for being smart and quick but believes that he's the definitive slacker. Kelly gives James props for keeping his waiting job. Sybil says that when you gave James a task he wouldn't get it down in a timely manner or at all. Kelly points out that he's tall and has a good name, James Parker. Pugs wonders if this is a goof and Kelly thinks that James probably thinks that he's going to win. Kelly wonders if he's even old enough to run. Pugs thinks that James probably doesn't even know. Kelly would vote for him if she lived in the district because he would be like their puppet. Eric wonders where he'll get the money to campaign. Pugs reminds him that Headkrack is the treasurer and assures him that he can find the money to run. Go To Leslie calls in to suggest that they have James run as the first official Mepublican. Pugs half heatedly comes up with a slogan.. "Mepublicans, putting US first". Kelly and Eric laugh and Pugs seems surprised that it was good. Pugs points out that James is the highest profile person running. Kelly learns that the opponent is Louis Finkleman. Pugs says that he'd vote for James Parker. Eric sees that she's in a lot of boards. Pugs thinks that James doesn't know what he's getting into. Pugs suggests doing a head shot of James because they can clean him up. Kelly says that they should get him out of the Franken-James look.

*break*

Future City Council member James Parker joins the show. He's running for city council in District 11. He's running as a moderate independent. James assures us that he's never done speed at the trinity river. He's also never done speed at the cotton bowl. James also heard rumors that the incumbent isn't planning on running. Kelly wonders where you can hear the Louis Finkleman rumors and James tells her that she's hanging out at the wrong bars. James says that he has older friends that keep up on these sort of things. Kelly wonders if James plans on showing up to all of the meetings. James tells her that you have to show up to a certain amount of the meetings or they kick you out. Pugs and Kelly are alarmed that he knows that. Pugs wonders if James is concerned that an opponent will look into his past. James invites it and wonders what they could find. James lets us know that he doesn't cheat his taxes. Eric asks about James' known associates. James admits that he has a lot of friends that are criminals but assures us that he's not a criminal. Kelly wants to know if James is sure and he reminds us that it's not illegal if you don't get caught. James points out that the president is friends with Kenneth Lay and he just got reelected. Pugs thinks that it's acceptable crime but the crimes associated with James isn't as well received. James reminds us that Marian Berry (former mayor of Washington DC) smoked crack on camera and got reelected. James says that he's not a crack smoker. Pugs wonders if this is to just do a bit on the show and James says that he's always been interested in municipal politics. Pugs admits that James has always been interested. Pugs and James go through a little Q & A....

P: Have you ever done drugs?
J: yes

P: Have you ever done drugs today?
J: no

P: are you planning on doing any drugs later on in the afternoon?
J: ummmm... maybe

P: What kind of drugs do you do?
J: Marijuana

K: Do you think it's a good idea to show up high for city council meetings?
J: It's probably a bad idea

P: Do you think yo'll ever get stoned in your car before a meeting starts?
J: No no..

P: So no "taking a walk" with any of the city council members?
J: not unless it was for black mail purposes... for example: if Mayor Laura Miller wanted to go to the car... I'd be like lets go.

Frank calls in to ask where he could score a sack. James says that if you hang out in the valley view area, there is a 7-11 on the corner. Kelly wonders what James feels about the trinity river project and James says that it worries the crap out of him. He points out that they voted to pump millions into it in 1998 but he hasn't seen one shovel go into it. James thinks that the plan looks lame. Pugs recievged another E-mail from James about an hour ago and he wonders if this is the first sentence you want out of your city councilman.... "I finally have a phone again".... Chris calls in to ask if when James is elected, would he still refer to drunk chicks in bars as "easy whores". James teaches us that there are different levels of drunk chicks in bars and some may still fall into that category. A caller calls in to ask what type of bud James likes the most. James says that he's not really involved with the nomenclature of weed. Pugs and Kelly wonder if that's a word. Kelly reads the rest of the e-mail that James wrote, "Sir James and Vitamin D are playing on Feb. 6th at Tomcats... I'm planning on going to your superbowl party then heading over to the show on the 4th quarter. Vitamin D is probably going to jail on the 18th and this is our last gig for a while.... Chris calls in to say that he'd vote for James because he's honest and down to earth. He's a common man and he'd vote for him. Pugs doesn't think James is common. James informs us that his parents work at the post office and that makes him common. Pugs brings up the "strong mayor" issue and wonders about James' feelings. James says that he never liked the city manager system because he's appointed and not elected. He feels that if the strong mayor system does go through, we should wait until Laura Miller's term is over. He points out that when people voted for her they didn't vote for her to have as much power as she would be granted if this passed. Pugs says that James is on par with what Laura Miller believes. Pugs thinks that Dallas needs a Guiliani type to be a strong mayor. Eric calls in to say that while he appreciates his honesty, campaigns aren't won on honesty. Pugs doesn't think that James should be breaking the law while running for council. Josh calls in to say that he would vote for him but he's a stoner and might forget. James says that he might have to keep the polls open till midnight in order to actually get the sonter vote. Pugs wonders what Headkrack's role is and James says that he have somebody. He lives in the district, he's high profile, and he reaches a demographic that James doesn't normally reach. Kelly suggests that James get the Will and Paco team (Team Wilco... biatch) working on it. Pugs thinks that we could be James' Toby and Sam. Headkrack is his Leo.

*break*

Pugs hasn't been getting as many e-mails lately. Kelly needs to meet Marsha from gamestop because she sends a lot of E-mail. IT's always a toss up as to wether it's going to be good or bad though. Pugs would like to thank a few regular e-mailers.... Alison, Weid (John from Drinklocal), Brian Booker, Tall Chris, Brandy, Edwin, Daniel, Wendall, Lulu, Jeremy Flores, Stephanie, Rosemary, Paul, John... Pugs got one from Mary Ann that says that she's not sending anymore since he never answers. Jill, Jen Black, Retsam, Lori, Amanda and the whole lot of you.... Kelly brings up the Eric from Jesus Christler Supercar update. Eric is alive and she hasn't slapped her yet. He isn't out of the woods yet but he sees an opening. He thanks P and K for the "free help". Kelly and Pugs thinks that he likes her more now that she's crazy. Pugs thinks he just wants to bang a crazy chick. Pugs is still confused about which intern is thing one or thing two.

Pugs and Kelly are going to the friggin' grammys. Kelly is really nervous about this. She doesn't want to die or look stupid in front of other people in their business. Pugs points out that they'll probably get to sit down with Paris Hilton and all the other freak shows. Pugs wonders if Kelly is going to be OK with being with him for four days in LA. Kelly says that she and Pugs need a buffer. They can't handle being by themselves. Pugs says that there is nothing exciting about spending their time with each other in LA. Pugs thinks he'd like to sit in the audience at the Grammys with her more than anybody else. Gavin joins the show to shed some light on the Grammy trip. He says that Pugs and Kelly will be back stage broadcasting live on Thursday and Friday. Pugs and Kelly bring up the "Sanford Inn". Pugs just doesn't want a hotel that opens up into the parking lot. Gavin told some of his people in LA that Pugs and Kelly are big shots and need to be taken care of. Pugs cheers and Kelly sounds upset. Kelly wonders if her and Pugs have to be tied together so that they don't get separated again. Pugs wants to get one of those powder blue tuxes that Bowling For Soup wore last year but Kelly warns that he doesn't want to be the radio guy in the showy suit. Pugs doesn't want to be that guy. Pugs and Kelly discuss if they should wear jeans. They don't know if they're allowed to. If they are allowed to then what happens if they get invited to a cool after party? They then realize that they'll probably end up back at their hotel room at 10:15. Pugs thinks that they need experts on the phone to talk to the different music stars. Gavin wonders why they just don't talk to the stars. Pugs says that he really doesn't have much to say to them He'd probably just ask Usher if he was aware that he looked like a grown up version of Webster. A jewelry guy calls in to say that he gave a few stars some stuff to wear to the grammys and offers to let Kelly wear some. Pugs wonders if Kelly can handle loaned bling. Kelly is worried that people in LA will look at her clothes and think that's she's "so mall". Kelly thinks that they're going to expect them to be wearing cowboy hats. Paul calls in to say that he can be a music guy on the phone. Kelly wonders what he knows about Ashanti. Pugs takes him off the air so that he can tell his too hot for radio info. Pugs is happy that he knows something about somebody he's never heard of before. Gavin doesn't think it's good if they have callers with dirt on them. Pugs says that he could just ask her.

*break*

Pugs announces that Lady Friend will be coming to LA with him. He reminds us that it's Valentine's Day. She was upset that Pugs was going to be out of town for Valentine's and pointed out that if they bought the ticket now, she could probably get a good price on a round trip ticket. Pugs isn't' sure if he really wants her coming out to LA with him. Kelly says that she's not giving up her ticket to the show. Pugs says that if anything he'd give up his ticket to go hang out with Sean Rouse at a bar. He then realizes that he wouldn't squander this. He's thinking that this is a built in gal pal for Kelly so that he can watch movies in his room. Kelly says that if she had a boyfriend, she'd have him come out. Pugs points out that Rouse is out there and asks if they hooked up. Kelly says they didn't but he kept trying to convince her that it's OK.

Kelly had a date with Chicago Rob. He told her that he described her to his friends as "having a really hot body". Kelly thinks that's very bizarre to her. Pugs thinks that's a bit uncouth. Kelly has never had anybody describe her that way except in an e-mail from a listener. Kelly says that's not a compliment that she's normally looking for. She would prefer him say that she's funny or smart. Pugs points out that guy friends don't care if she's funny. He says that the first things he asks about is her appearance. Pugs understands that he would describe Kelly as hot to his friends but he's confused as to why he would tell Kelly about his comment to his friends. Mark thinks that this guy is like Beavis. He's so hot and bothered to tell Kelly what he said to his friends. Mark thinks this shows a lack of emotional maturity. Pugs wonders if he was hoping for Kelly's response to be "want to see it?". Kimberly calls in to say that if somebody tells you have a hot body then you take it and run with it. Pugs thinks that Chicago Rob got the e" dating an Old Chick" handbook and knew to compliment an old broad's body. Pugs also points out that Kelly and him over-analyze everything and informs people that if you're dating either one of them, the best thing to do is to shut up. Dave calls in to say that when he says that a girl has a great body, he means.. "she has a great body... but her face leaves a lot to be desired". Kelly says that she thought of that. Pugs thinks that it would have been better if Chicago Rob would have said that "I told them you were hot". Kelly wonders if it's a defense mechanism since she's older than him. Pugs acts it out.. "no, dude.. see, she's old... no I'm not denying that, she's old... but dude, that body's hot." Pugs and Kelly season 3 dodgeball co-MVP James "Napoleon" calls in to say that he's trying to take Kelly for a ride. Pugs points out that we're getting his version of what he told his friends. Larry calls in to wonder if he was saying she has a "Buttah Face" (everything is good buttah face).

*break*

YEp.... My lap top screwed up and I'm mad. I had the whole show on it and my notes. I was half way down with the last half of the show. I'm on my other computer right now. I just remembered how I can't do anything with it. I'll probably sodomize myself with an active grenade now.

Pugs and Kelly are unsure if they have an appearance at Sherlocks in Arlington tomorrow. They scramble to find out and Sam the Mailman tells them that they don't. Pugs wonders if Kelly has been watching the West Wing and Kelly expresses her love for the show. Pugs hasn't been watching it as much lately and Kelly thinks that the show isn't as good as it used to be. She doesn't like to see the president with MS. She likes to believes that the West Wing is real. Eric says that he feels like a puss watching the West Wing because the opening almost makes him cry. Kelly admits that it gets her choked up just like Eminem songs. Pugs doesn't like how they have to show these losers on the campaign trail. Kelly reminds him that they have to show them because the current president couldn't be president unless the change the constitution. Pugs thinks that they're the only people that watch the West Wing in Dallas because the phone lines aren't lit up. Kelly suggests that it's because a Texan isn't in the White House so people don't care. Kelly reveals that Chicago Rob can't tell the difference between the West Wing and Spin City. Kelly says that the last TV he watched was Survivor: Outback. Pugs scoffs at that and then reminds Kelly that he likes to watch porn and sports. Kelly explains that something that he has no interest in (TV) is about 30 percent of her income. She points out that they spend 30 percent of their time talking about TV. Tracy calls in to say that a lot of people watch the West Wing but they're all smart people. She reminds Pugs and Kelly that smart people don't call into radio shows. Tracy admits that she use to think she was smart but now here she is on the phone. They want to give her a prize for being a first time caller and to celebrate her newly earned stupidity. They give her "Alien VS Predator" on DVD. Jeremy calls in to say that the reason why nobody is calling in is because it's on Bravo right now. Pugs wonders what episode is on and Jeremy says that he cant' tell yet because the credits just started. Kelly knows because she watches West Wing Mondays on Bravo and informs us that they're on that part where Zoe gets kidnapped. Pugs tries to find Bravo on their TV so that they can watch it. A guy calls in to ask if they watch 24. Kelly doesn't like the forced 24 straight episode commitment. Pugs informs us that he doesn't like Kiefer Sutherland. He thinks it goes all the way back to Lost Boys and he doesn't trust him. He always thinks of him as a dick or a vampire. He didn't even fell sorry for him in that movie where his girlfriend got scratched and buried in a back yard. Parker calls in to say that the ones on Bravo at night are out of sequence and the ones during the day are in different. Pugs thinks that they need Alan Alda in the office because they need a republican president in there to keep it fresh. Cecil calls in to ask who the women was that got buried in that Kiefer Sutherland movie. Pugs laughs at his poor excuse for trivia and says that it was Sandra Bullock in one of her first roles. A guy calls in to say that he doesn't like to watch the West Wing because it's too close to the Clinton regime. Pugs thinks that the West Wing is good at showing both sides of the argument. Jessa calls in to ask if they watched Medium and Kelly says that she DVRed it. She watches it on Tuesdays on with her son. Pugs says that his girlfriend watches it and she has good taste in TV. She's not the type that only watches porn and sports. Pugs hates that Medium is opposite CSI: Miami. He feels that if he watches it then he's cheating on David Caruso. Kelly doesn't think that you shouldn't show loyalty to David Caruso because Caruso didn't show loyalty to NYBD Blue. Don calls in to say that he and his wife are hooked up to Iron Chef. Pugs says that he had enough of that show 5 years ago. Don had to wake up at 6 am but his wife reminded him that Iron Chef come on at 2 am. So he stayed up to watch "Chinese Cabbage Battle". Wayne calls in to ask if they ever watched Nip Tuck. They ask what that's on. Wayne says it's on FX and about two plastic surgeons. Kelly thinks he's lying and Pugs tells him that nobody wants to watch a show about plastic surgeons. Pugs realizes that he's seen that. It's when they take an ugly girl and make her pretty. He thinks that's cool. Melissa got addicted to Trading Spouses and they've asked her to be on the show. She's wondering if she should do that because they could make her look like a psycho. Kelly reminds her that when you're 12 you can go to the judge and decide which parent to be with. Terry calls in to say that Reno 911 is the best comedy on TV. Pugs agrees. Pugs thinks that it's too far under the radar and the comedy is too over the top. Kelly wonders if it's like police squad and Pugs explains that it's a spoof on the show "cops". Pugs explains that last night they called 911 to get a cop to show up because they were having a surprise party for him. The cop walked into a dark room. When they jumped out to yell surprise, he shot one of them. Brad calls in to VH-1's I love the 70s, 80s, 90s. Pugs thinks that there should be a network that plays those non-stop. Pugs and Kelly are getting bored. Zach calls in to say that he can't believe they've never heard of Nip Tuck. Pugs has Sybil write Nip Tuck down cause it sounds like something they should be watching.

*break*

David Letterman's debut show since Carson died. He was on vacation last week. Kelly forgot. Pugs admits that he only remembered that it was on because he was watching CSI. Pugs and Kelly do not doubt the Sincerity of Letterman when he says that when compared to Carson, he has no right being up there. They disagree with him. Pugs says that Letterman came out and started doing a monologue and that it was all jokes that Carson wrote in the last few months. They play Letterman's thoughts on Carson. he says that he felt this sad when Johnny Carson died. It didn't matter what was going on in the outside world, Johnny was there at the end of the night. Pugs and Kelly agree that there are too many choices these days so nobody will ever be as important. Pugs thinks that Letterman isn't giving himself enough credit because he's been on for 22 years. They play more clips. Pugs informs Kelly that Oprah announced that she'll be retiring in 6 years. Kelly is outraged and upset. Pugs thinks it's the height of arrogance for Oprah to announce that in six years she'll be leaving. He would like to announce that he's retiring in the next 40 years. Kelly thinks 6 years is too short. Pugs tells her that Oprah might not be on for 6 more years and suggests that she might make an Opie and Antony mistake. They play more clips.

*break*

Kelly wonders who they're the boss of at the office. Pugs thinks nobody and wonders if they really want to be the boss of anybody. He brags that he's the boss of his dog. Kelly brings up how Bobby swore at her and swore on the air but she couldn't get him fired. Pugs says that Bobby didn't respect her authority and Kelly thinks that Bobby was right since it took her so long to get him fired.

It's now time for Pugs and Kelly's Human Growth and Development. Amanda says that she's a single mom with 3 boys. She lost her job when her company relocated to New Mexico. Pugs brings up how big the cockroaches are there. He says we call them armadillos here. Because of the custody agreement she has with her ex, she can't relocate. She's recently realized that with the money she would save on child care, from child support, and from her unemployment, she would be making four hundred dollars more a month. Kelly brings up how unemployment isn't welfare because you pay into it.

This was a fairly shorter Human Growth and Development. Since everyone that called in agreed she should do this, I'll just leave it at this. I don't really want to write 50 times in a row.. "blank calls in and says that she should take it". So there...

*break*

Apparently sometime during a spot Pugs bashed handy men. I didn't hear it, I didn't have notes on it, and I haven't heard it on my recording of the show. Jack calls in to confront Pugs on his comment about "slightly touched locals with tool belts comment". Pugs tells Jack that they're almost always a little touched in the head. They can't get a normal job so they have to work with their hands. Jack says that a lot of people in every profession are a little touched. Kelly doesn't think a lot of CEOs are touched. Jack says that he takes pride in his profession. Kelly thanks the stars for handy men and Pugs says that you should take pride in your work. Pugs brings up how handy men are always suspects when somebody goes missing. they have a bit of a shady history. Kelly wonders why Lee Harris looks upset. Lee says he's fine. Kelly reveals that normally when Lee runs in it's because the GM called and wants them to stop talking about something. Pugs is pretty sure that the GM isn't a handy man. Gary calls in to take issue about locals being touched. He reminds Pugs that he's in the heart of Texas, not Chicago, and he should mind his manners. Kelly wonders if Gary is a little touched because they didn't say anything about Texans being touched. Tim calls in to complain too. He says that he had to get a job as a handy man because he left the military because of a disability. Pugs points out that Tim WORKS AS A HANDY MAN BECAUSE OF A DISABILITY. Rex calls in and calls Pugs comment stupid and idiotic. Rex thinks that Pugs opens his mouth a lot without caring about other people's feelings. Pugs says that he doesn't care about other people's feelings. Handymen are the people that listen to the show. Jay says that Pugs is wrong because the service industry is the largest growing industry in America. Charlie calls in to say that everyone is classifying themselves as a handyman when they're really not. These other guys are actually contractors and remodelers.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. People who go to super bowl parties start planning 41 days ahead of the game. This beats New Years and Anniversary. It also beats birthday plans.
Kelly says that Pugs is planning his party now. Pugs reminds Kelly that he doesn't plan his party. His job is to show up.

2. Today is the two year anniversary of the space shuttle Columbia. It dismantled over East Texas while reentering the atmosphere. NASA is trying to rebuild it and the families of the victims are upset.
Pugs and Kelly agree that they should build a house on the moon and leave him there. Pugs points out that the challenger's anniversary was last week. They agree that this is a bad time of year for space shuttles.

3. In Angleton, TX, this mother's car broke down and it cause her daughter to be late for school. She served detention for her daughter. Her son was a hellion growing up and had to pay 10,000 dollars in legal fees. She set up a payment plan where she would pay 50 bucks a week until it's paid off (that's a little under four years of weekly payments). She has been jailed because she missed a payment.
Sybil admits that it's not that good of a story.

*break*

4. Leonardo Dicaprio is receiving a life time achievement award at the Santa Barbara Film Festival.
Pugs comments on how you want to be mad that he's getting one at 30 but he's been around for a long time and had a big impact. Sybil thinks he earned it. Pugs thinks that there are a lot of people in their 50s that deserve this. Kelly thinks that if he was slowing down or planning on retirement then you give it to him. This is just to get a draw. Everyone agrees that Alan Thicke makes him a better actor. PUgs and Kelly agree that they should give out a life time achievement award. Eric suggest Cody but Kelly wants somebody that people would actually show up to see. She says Lassie but Pugs reminds her that Lassie a very honored canine. They think about it for a while. Hey, what about Jimmy Walker? Good Times was an awesome show.

5. Laura Flynn Boyle flashed the crew on a trans-Atlantic flight. She also snuggled with a random strange.
Pugs thinks that she got really skinny and gross. He thinks that she has pasty skin and her ribs poke out real bad. Her boobs probably look like a little boy's.

6. Skinema.com is handing out Skinny awards for stars with skin conditions. Nicole Kidman wins one for life time achievement.
Pugs thinks that Julio Iglesias is HOT and looks like a chick.

7. Duane "the rock" Johnson had lypo to get rid of a fat pocket.
Kelly wonders if he has scarring. Sybil says she's never noticed but he does have a lot of tattoos. She wonders if she had them set in certain places to hide scarring. Pugs wonders if he has that stupid barb wire tattoo then he apologizes to Kelly. He remembers that Chicago Rob has one. Pugs thinks that the barb wire tattoo is the new mullet. He bring up how Metro-Aaron has a mullet and tells everyone that if they want a limo from a guy with a mullet, call Metro-Limo. Kelly thinks it's the soccer player in him because those types always sport mullets.

8. The mother of the latest Michael Jackson accuser is named Janet. She married a guy with the last name Jackson. So in court, Janet Jackson is testifying against Michael Jackson.

9. Carmelo Anthony, superstar for the Denver Nuggets, is in a DVD that teaches kids about saying no to drugs.
Pugs is disappointed because he thought he was in a sex tape. Kelly wonders if Pugs wanted to see Carmelo's dong.
He was in a different DVD called Stop Snitching. He advised up and coming gangsters to not snitch because they'll get a hole in their head. (what kind of loser wannabe street thug pussies have to have a "HOW TO" video on being a hustler thug?) Carmelo claims that it's not him.
Pugs reminds us that a kid in a ghetto snitching on gang members will end up dead.

10. Tom Browkaw signed a two book deal.

11. Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom have split up. (I didn't know that Kate was a lesbian, that's a shame.. that Orlando Bloom chick is hot)

12. Roy Williams and Kelly Roland have postponed their wedding.

13. A & E will run the Sopranos.

*break*


Pugs hates valentines day. He says it's a lot of pressure. Kelly wonders if he has any plans and he says that he'll break up with ladyfriend. He figured they can break up on the 12th and get back together on the 15th. We talk to Kathleen Molden, Senior manager from Match.com. .
Go to Match.com.
Go to Match.com.
Go to Match.com.
Go to Match.com. .
You might meet the person you're going to marry or get some awesome strangers off the Internet sex at MATCH.com.

*break*

Pugs brings up how everyone has bad things to say about NBA players so in an effort to be kind, they'll bring up somebody that did something really nice. Josh Howard, Dallas Mavericks,... Kelly wonders if he use to be on Happy Days. Pugs thinks that NBA players always seem so ego tistical and self-centered. Kelly wonders if it's because they're tall. She points out that we always have to look up to them. He dedicated a gym in a crap neighborhood. He fixed it up for the kids to hang out at. He got really choked up. They play a clip of the news of his ceremony and an interview. Wow, he is a cool guy. I won't trade him on ESPN 2k5 on X-box anymore... unless I can get Nash... cause Nash is awesome.


comments? E-mail me at will@pugsandkellylive.com

Kelly says that she's tired of being Russ' pawn to make other girls jealous. Pugs tries to read the details of the "Joey" contest but coughs something up half way through it. Kelly says that she'll have to watch Joey this Thursday but admits that she's never seen the show. She doesn't watch any new sitcoms and this makes her feel old because older people never like new sitcoms. Pugs tells us that his mom can't stand sitcoms. Pugs and Kelly discuss shows they like. Kelly and her kids watch Super Nanny.

Pugs would like to give his girlfriend credit for being able to handle this weekend. She was the lone girl on a trip to Austin for a debauched time in a college town. On the car ride to and from Austin she had to deal with their gas. All the guys tried to out do each other for style and potency. Pugs complains that he was the only one that got hit though. Pugs likes to go "silent-but-deadly" because he likes to watch the slow build of horror in other people's faces. Kelly seems grossed out and annoyed. She doesn't see why you can't just hold it in. Pugs and Eric explain that it's unhealthy to hold it in. Kelly wonders when Sybil did a story about a guy who died from not farting. Pugs doesn't understand how Tammy didn't fart. Sybil teaches us that girls don't. A caller says that single girls don't pass gas because they don't have a butt hole until their married. Pugs doesn't get it. Kelly does. Kelly says that she never had a guy she dated do that in front of her and Pugs thinks that's why she's single. Pugs teaches us that Donald Trump probably farts. Eric tells us that his mom called him the other day and he told her he had to tell her something. He then farted into the receiver. Kelly doesn't think you would be able the same phone after that. Eric proves her wrong by pulling it out and sniffing it. A guy calls in to tell Kelly that she should be more tolerant of people with digestive conditions. Down Under Wayne calls in to say that Pugs and Aaron torture him with their gas. Pugs doesn't like how Wayne is playing innocent and informs us that Wayne plays too. He also tells us that Wayne has bad gas. Eric and Pugs teach us that bigger guys have bigger gas. Mark calls in to say that he doesn't fart in front of his wife. Pugs feels sorry that Mark isn't secure enough in his relationship to bust a high stinky. Pugs brags that he can tell his friends apart by their scents. That phrase made me want to vomit. It was a bad visual. Kelly suggests that Pugs go hot box himself in the other room if it's so entertaining. Jeff calls in to say that he's been married for 11 years and has never let one slip in her presence. However, when he's with the guys... bombs away baby.

*break*

Kelly wants to pay Cody 60 bucks to w ash her car inside and out. Pugs thinks that women down in Austin are hideous. He feels like he's been spoiled by the good looking Dallas women. Kelly reminds us how a lot of people tell her that Austin has all the hot chicks but every time she's gone.. it hasn't been good. Pugs noticed that there seemed to be a shortage of implants and make-up in Austin. Ron calls in to say that Pugs is out of mind. Pugs thinks that girls in Dallas look like girls but they look like fugly dirty hippes in Austin. A guy calls in to say that girls in Cincinnati are the worse. Kelly thinks it's unfair to say that about Ohio because it's.. Ohio. They have to brag about their lame chili because their lame state is so lame. Eric points out that girls in Austin like to smoke a bowl, eat some cereal, and watch cartoons but girls in Dallas would rather do some blow, go work out, and dress in almost nothing. Kelly reminds us that cocaine is a great dietary supplement (this statement was in jest... I know how you people are about jokes about coke in regards to this show.. shame on you all). Pugs thinks that women in Dallas are crazier though so he gives props to Austin for having girls that probably wouldn't stab you. He'd rather take a fugly sane chick than a super hot crazy bitch. A guy calls in to say that women in Austin are more natural so you know what you get. He thinks that if you were deserted on an island with them you wouldn't be shocked by how they looked. Kelly reminds the caller that people in Austin and Dallas don't really have to worry about being stranded on an island anytime soon... I'm sure that Forrest Gump guy said that too in that volley ball movie... Pugs points out that the Dallas chick on the island would kill time by doing sit ups and jogging on the beach. He thinks the Austin chick would just look for something to smoke.

*break*

Pugs got an e-mail from Dr. Moon concerning a medical advisory that he wants to share with everyone. But since Pugs isn't interested with the health and well-being of his listening audience.. we go to Eric from Jesus Christler Supercar fame (a superstar staple dodgeball team made up of pretty boys). He says that he's been seeing a cute girl since right before New Year's. He's at a place right now where he could stay or go. Around this time I get a catchy Clash song stuck in my head.. I attempt to rid it from my mind with some pilates followed by deep meditation. In one of the biggest "huh... small world eh?" occurrences, Eric found out that his administrative assistant is dating this girl's ex-boyfriend. She told him that he should worry because he has a restraining order on her. He's trying to figure out what to do.... She must be super hot and awesome in bed. she has to be in order for him to even consider a possible relationship with a girl that might stab him in the eye with a fork. Then again, I prefer dating women with some type of problem or hang up maybe Eric feels the same way. Normal girls are boring.... He heard that she broke into his house and sprayed cola everywhere. This caused an ant infestation. His landlord, supposedly, caught all this on film and the boyfriend quickly got the order. This is one of the most devilishly splendid scheme's I've heard in a while. So far she seems truly worthy of my time. If this thing with Eric fails, I'm looking into her. Eric assures us that she doesn't listen.. then why are you even dating her Eric?.... Pugs suggests that maybe he really screwed her over and she's a "take no crap" kind of girl. Pugs and Kelly want to speak with her in order to assess her and the situation. Kelly wouldn't trust the source of this information. She reminds us that information an ex tells his new significant other about their ex is always suspect. Sybil says that she called the "possibly crazy girlfriend" and she but she refused to go on the air. She tells us that she told her that Eric called a talk show to discuss her alleged shady past. Eric sounds a bit worried. Kelly points out that if she wasn't listening before then she's definitely listening now. I'd like to take this time to welcome the newest listener to the Pugs and Kelly audience.

Pugs brings up Kelly's prescription drugs in her bathroom and how she's worried that a future boyfriend might run into them. Kelly gets mad because she was planning on hiding this in a Human Growth and Development fake E-mail. We learn that Kelly always keeps a few prescription pills for future use. She has some wellbutrin from when she quit smoking in a basket. She's concerned with how somebody would judge after they found anti-depressants in her house. Pugs thinks it would be more alarming to find and empty bottle because that means that she's no longer in possession of "make me normal" pills. Pugs wants a fake bottle of herpes medication to leave in other people's medicine cabinet. Pugs and Kelly discuss how everyone with herpes seems to leave near beaches and seem rather content. However, they agree that herpes would be a deal breaker. The official show expert on everything (cause he has a different accent) Les says that he wouldn't break up with a girl that had anti-depressants but he'd sleep with one eye open. Kelly is thinking about getting some more because she's been smoking a little again. She doesn't think she could call herself a smoker since cold weather makes her not do it. Pugs wonders if Les thinks it's important to rifle through somebody's medicine cabinet and Les says he doesn't feel it's that important. However, he's guilty of this. He isn't as psycho-pharma-advanced as Pugs and Kelly so he wouldn't know what any of these pills would be used for. Kelly wonders if there are higher grades of psycho medication and if so, what are they. Pugs advises her to run if she sees lithium... heh.. hehehehe.... Kelly says that his ex-boyfriend Jesus Dave was on anti-psychotics. Pugs wonders what exactly xanex is and a caller says that it's for crazy people. Eric corrects her and teaches us that it's just for anti-anxiety. It's also good for a boring weekend night when mixed with a cocktail. they discuss how much Xanex strippers take. Kelly thinks that if you have anxiety over being on the pole then maybe it's god's way of saying "don't be on the pole". Pugs suggests a deal breaker list of drugs on the website that provides information about things you might find in a girlfriend's/boyfriend's medicine cabinet that might be useful.. something like this HERE Pugs and Kelly also suggest a bunch of other things that I can't possibly do.

*break*

Pugs got an e-mail from Lulu that suggests that they name their new crazy medicine back ground check website idea "bustanut.com" Eric looks it up and sees that it redirects you to "thebigswallow.com" Jesus Christler Eric have talked to his "allegedly crazy chick" and he sounds really down. She was outraged that he didn't go to her first. Pugs thinks that she acted like a crazy chick. Kelly says that if she was to have a guy attempt to find out stuff about her on the radio as opposed to just asking her, she'd be mad too. She claims that while she dated the guy, he doesn't have a restraining order. Pugs suggests that Eric just give them the name and then they can find out if she's lying or not. Kelly thinks that it doesn't matter if she does or not because it's over. Eric says that she wants to meet for drinks and doesn't suspect that it will go well. He thinks that curiosity may kill the cat but at least he'll die knowing. Pugs and Kelly assure Eric that there will be no charge for their services in this matter. Kelly takes Eric off the air in an attempt to get the name of the girl so that they can research her.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. A 35 year old man in Plano exploded while he was trying to hold in his gas.

2. Senator Hillary Clinton collapsed during a speech in Buffalo, New York.
Pugs has an official statement from Clinton's people. They said that she had a stomach virus and got immediate medical attention on the scene. Kelly points out how everyone made it seem like they were on a death watch for her. Pugs assures us that she's fine.

3. A road rage incident in Oakcliff...
Pugs says they had a near road rage incident on their trip back from Austin. This car flipped off his girlfriend for no apparent reason. Sybil thinks that maybe the driver of the other car confused his girlfriend for somebody else. Kelly reminds us that they are on record as saying that all Asians look a like (the Lady friend is half Asian).
a 14 year old boy and his mother's boyfriend were shot at. The bullet went through the man's arm into the 14 year old boy.. He's dead.
Pugs isn't afraid of terrorist. He's afraid of regular Americans.

4. Snoop Dog has been accused of sexual assault. Weeks after he filed a claim that he was the target of an extortion claim, a woman says that Snoop and several members of his entourage sexually assaulted her in his dressing room before a taping of Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Pugs and Kelly agree that it's smart to file a pre-sexual assault charge extortion claim after you've raped somebody. Sybil reads that the incident took place two years ago. Kelly admits that she just though "get over it" in her head. Kelly wonder if she's really upset or if she just did it because "Drop it Like it Hot" is a really big song. Pugs questions the validity of a woman that waited two years. Sybil tells us that her family warned her not to go to the cops because he was involved with gangs. Kelly reminds us that Snoop "wears it on the left side... yeah.. that's the crip side". Pugs questions any girl that tries to hang out with snoop dog. Kelly is surprised that he can even get it up considering that he's so high all the time.

5. Mets' catcher Mike Piazza got married over the weekend to former playmate and baywatch starAlicia Rickter. I guess he made a... nice catch? hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pugs pegged him as more of an Andy Richter type.

6. Barry Williams (Greg Brady from the Brady Bunch) has filed for divorce.
Kelly thinks the weirdest thing is that she only want him to have supervised visitation rights. Pugs thinks it's tough being famous but not rich. Sybil if he had AIDs and Pugs tells her it was the dad. Pugs and Kelly teach us that Mike Brady was gay.

7. The dude that owns the celebrity club named Lotus is dishing out the dirt. He says that Joaquin Phoenix was sent home once and Paris Hilton had to be carried from her own party.
Pugs and Kelly aren' t surprised. He reminds us that Joaquin Phoenix has the overdoing gene.
He's also kicked out Courtney Love and Mark Whalberg twice.
Pugs is surprised by Marky Mark because he seems like a together guy.
NIcole Kidman and tom Cruise got into a bad fight in the kitchen.
Pugs and Kelly act that out.

*break*

Dr. Moon joins the show to warn everyone that the flu is attacking. He warns that with the lack of flu shots, a lot of people will probably pick this up. He says that if you haven't gotten a flu shot yet then it's probably too late. He teaches us that people with the flu can barely stand to sit up. Dr. Moon has a website now... www.moonfamilypractice.com. Kelly says that she needs to go see him for her... ewwww eczema.... Pugs wonders if it's on her girly parts and she says no. He wonders if her yeast infection has cleared up and Kelly reminds him that he was the one that diagnosed her with that. Pugs reminds her that she sent Paco to go buy yeast infection stuff and she points out that was four years ago.... for those of you that don't remember or listened at that time.. Paco was sent to a drug store to ask about various yeast infection medicine. If I recall correctly, he came back with yogurt....

we're back with more sybilization....

8. Kevin Federline (Brittany SPears' husband) was in Vegas and she wasn't with him. She showed up to surprise him.
Pugs bets that he and Brittany break wind in front of each other. He imagines that her gas is cute.

9. Hillary Swank had a foot infection while filming Million Dollar Baby... she had to pop it.
Pugs is starting to like Hillary Swank. Kelly wonders why you wouldn't. He says that when she was in that Movie Boy's Don't Cry where she played a white trash dude it bothered him. She also plays a dykey chick in this Million Dollar Baby movie but she looks hot in interviews. They bring up the time where she forgot to thank her husband during her Oscar award winner. Pugs points out that Chad Lowe had to grow up being Rob Lowe's little brother and now he's Hillary Swank's husband. Kelly reminds us that he was on that show with Corky. Pugs recalls that he had AIDs on that show and reminds us of his theory that if you play an AIDS victim on a popular show it'll ruin your career.

10. Pick your favorite vodka.. raspberry, citrus, or peach....
Kelly picks raspberry and Pugs picks peach.
A doctor did a study about celebrities, their personalities, and the different flavor vodkas they like... it's good to know that this doctor keeps up on the important things... Raspberry drinkers are like Madonna and Russell Crowe. they're leaders but they tend to get furious in rush hour traffic. Citrus drinkers are like Michael Moore and Larry David. They're pessimistic doom sayers that people view as cranky and irritable. Peach drinkers are like Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton, they're flirtatious, sexual provocative, and the life of the party. Kelly thinks that Citrus sounds more like Pugs.

11. A new reality show on TBS called "Love Thy Neighbor"
Pugs thinks they got to go to the Gieco people for show ideas because they have some great fake reality TV show commercials.

12. WEEKEND BOX OFFICE UPDATE!!!
5. Meet the Fockers
4. Coach Carter
3. Million Dollar Baby
Eric saw this and thought it was awesome. Kelly watched Miracle. Sybil saw Elektra and assures us that it's better than Dare Devil. Pugs saw Alien VS Predator on the ride down to Austin. He thought it was stupid. Kelly thinks that was a night mare trip. Passing gas and Alien VS Predator doesn't seem like a way to win her heart guys. She thinks Lady Friend is quite the trooper.
2. Are We There Yet?
Kelly says that she needs to take her kids to see a black movie so that they're not afraid of Her daughter told her that she was afraid of black people and that made Kelly sad. That's when she made them watch the Cosby show.
1. Hide and Seek
Pugs describes this as "I see dead people" with Robert DeNiro.


*break*

Kelly informs us that it's national bubble wrap day. Pugs thinks that's the only good thing about moving. Kelly thinks it's good to hae some at work because it's better than shooting people. Pugs suggests that people just work at work. Kelly thinks you'd have to be a mental midget if you couldn't handle popping bubbles and working at the same time. Sam the Mailman brings them bubble wrap. Pugs and Kelly try to do the show while popping bubbles. They're silent for a bit, aside from the popping, and then I suppose they lost interest.

They do a instant poll.. all the details are wrapped up int a nice little instant poll result in the instant poll result section of the website. So go there and scroll to the bottom.

THE END.

Oh and in other news, I'm looking to do a more personal blog. And by personal I don't mean I'd talk about my life or my feelings. I hate blogs about people and their lame life. (if you write a personal life blog or keep an online diary... don't bother e-mailing me hate mail or calling me ignorant.. face it, unless you're life is spent fighting ninja cowboys on the surface of mars.. you're not exciting or unique... well, I guess it's all in how you present your boring life so, I might be wrong about your life not being interesting. I might be more interested if your blog had naked pictures on it. You blog writers out there.. more naked pictures.). Anyway, I'm looking for a nice staff of talented writers to help contribute to both this blog and my new blog... when it will officially debut is still up in the air.... I'm not really looking for something in particular but I want some super great talent. I have a few people in mind already and a few people that I would like to maybe do a few "guest blogs" (mostly because I know they're too busy to be regular contributors)... So, if you're interested E-mail me a sample at will@pugsandkellylive.com. A knowledge of the most basic HTML would be a plus and/or busty and cute.