I haven't been able to update in a lately but, here we go.

Happy President's Day

I have picture's of Pugs'Monkey.


Emil, The New You Show, is going to be watching them to learn how to do a show. He felt like he could learn something by watching them how to do the show. Pugs points out that they have to be brilliant at the basics. Pugs teaches us that the people that he and Kelly grew up with were awful at the basics. Sybil is sick. Kelly is going out but she doesn't want to tell where she is going. Kelly brags that people have been telling her that she looks good lately. Shemp told her this morning. Pugs thinks that it pisses Shemp off that Kelly looks so good now. Kelly says that her ex-boyfriend never let her work out because it took away from time they could spend together. He also took her to places where they had good food. Pugs thinks it must have been awful for Kelly to have a boyfriend that wanted to spend time with her and forced her to frequent fancy restaurants. He wonders how many women would love to have a boyfriend that let them put on a few pounds. Pugs thinks that Kelly likes to be dominate and believes that is why she has an unhealthy obsession with nerds. He also says that his current girlfriend is good in the way that his ex-wife was good. She's a ball buster and he appreciates that. Kelly feels bad if what she was saying can be seen as bad mouthing him. Kelly also hated that he got mad when she had to flirt for work and he called her a liar. That bothered her because she never lied to him.

Manny calls in and Kelly says that she met Manny this morning. Kelly has a rat problem. Manny tells us that she had Norweigian roof rat and that they're on of the larger rats. He lets us know that there is an assortment between large and smaller rats. Manny had to leave some extra-poison. He teaches us that in a neighborhood like Kelly's you can see lots of rodent activities. Kelly wonders if they're going to sneak up when they die and Manny says that they can until you remove them. Pugs asks about the size of these rats and Manny says that he's seen a few that were the length of his wrist to his elbow. He tells us that Kelly's aren't that large. They are probably about two pounds.

*break*

Pugs hasn't had a girlfriend that has gone crazy after their relationship. He wonders if it's because he's not any good. Kelly claims that she has the potential to be a crazy girlfriend but she lacks the motivation to actually go out of her way to do anything.

I was asked to do something else so I missed a lot of this segment. The moral of the story is watch Nascar.

*break*

They have some visitors from Silver City. Kelly reminds Pugs that he thought he was dating a girl from Silver City but it turned out that she just wanted another client. Pugs thinks the girls are a little over-dressed for the occasion. It's Jordan, Lane, and Kelly. Kelly points out that they can remember Kelly because she doesn't have a name tag and now there are two of them. Sybil bar tends at Silver City on Wednesdays and the Pub and Grub on Thursday. Pugs points out that the room smells like perfume and food. Pugs wonders if the girls have either been a crazy ex or had a crazy ex. Stripper Kelly says that she's done some crazy things. Stripper-Kelly has slept out side her ex's apartment and followed him to his job. Radio-Kelly thinks that if you're going to be stalked then you would prefer to be stalked by a stripper. This happened 5 months ago. Radio-Kelly wonders about his best quality. Stripper-Kelly tells her that he was older. Pugs thinks that means he had some cash and Stipper-Kelly tells us that he didn't. He was a 40 something waiter and wasn't very attractive. Pugs wonders what the hell is wrong with her. Jordan is 30 and Eric says that she's hot. Pugs thinks that's a big compliment because Eric is gay. He brings up "Say Anything" and how in reality, John Cusack would have been arrested for staying outside Ione Skye's window all night blasting Peter Gabriel. Jordan says that she thinks it's a little romantic but reminds us that she's older so she grew up in that whole... oh man wait for it.... wait... she grew up in that whole "jandrah" of movies. Some other stripper says that diamonds are better than staying on your lawn. The girls brought them lunch. Silver City is redoing their new buffet.

*break*

It's now time for the Pugs and Kelly Institute for Human Growth and Development. Pugs realizes that he's reading the wrong E-mail. Susan e-mails to ask what she should do about her boyfriend's ex-wife. After they dated for a while, he started picking her up from her house and bringing her back to his house. On the occasions when she actually drove, he had her put her car in the garage. One time she asked if his ex-wife was spying on them and he said no. Last Friday, she didn't park it in the garage and at 5:30 am, he got a phone call. It was the ex-wife and she wasn't happy. She brainwashes the kids as a weapon against their relationship. Julie calls in to say that she was an ex-stalker-girlfriend. She parked outside of his house and called him so many times that he had to block his number. She was trying to make his life miserable. He got her pregnant and had her get an abortion. He explained that they couldn't be married in a catholic service if they had it. After the abortion, he dumped her. A girl calls in to say that guys are scary stalkers and women are crazy stalkers. She admits that she told a guy that broke up with her that she was pregnant. He gave her money for the abortion and that she kept it. She wasn't really pregnant and he never found out. Kelly considers that's a fine. Jennifer calls in to say that she had a crazy ex-boyfriend. They split up and the father of her daughter was getting sent pictures of her dating other men. She had to get some guys to threaten him so that he would stop. She admits that she has done some crazy things too. She stuck fish sticks in his air vents after a guy cheated on her. Kelly thinks that's a fair trade. Josh calls in to say that he should never be a stalker because he's not good at it. He broke up with a girl and he started hanging out with another girl to get over it. He drove by the first girl's house and saw a car outside. He decided to call her but he accidentally called the new girl. He didn't realize who he called and things got messy. Pugs thinks he's the worse stalker ever. Paul calls in to say that he went too far one time. He broke into his exes house while she was with a new guy. He went insane and pistol whipped him to death. He spent 5 years in prison. Pugs wonders if they got back together and Paul says no. Sean calls in to say that he was in a relationship and in the last 4-6 months she broke up with him on a weekly basis. Three months into this game, she got knocked up and they decide to get an abortion. She breaks up with him and he goes to to rip the bong with his friends. She goes over and decides that she wants to get back together. He tells her that he rather enjoyed the three hours of being apart and lets her know that there will be no renege on their arrangement. He came home one time after being awake for 72 hours and passes out on the living room floor. A person that lived there told him that his ex came and watched him sleep for 4 hours. Pugs and Kelly are creeped out. Sean lets us know that it took 5 years of therapy and daily prozac for her to cope. Kelly gives Sean a prize for having a crazy ex. A guy calls in to say that his ex took one shoe for each pair he had.

*break*

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. A DISD math teacher has been arrested after allegedly trying to solicit sex from a police officer posing as a 14 year old over the Internet. He suggested meeting her in parker county and told "her' that he'd bring marijuana. They arrested him at 2:30 PM and was suppose to be in class.


2. Gay Prostitute in the White House...
Pugs and Kelly are excited about this story. Pugs explains that this story started to develop after it was discovered that a reporter from a phony news was at a press conference. They remind us that it's hard to get cleared for those things. The guy from the "Talon News agency" is named Jeff Gannon. Pugs tells us that Jeff Gannon isn't even his real name. When you dig a little deeper you find out that this guy is a gay male prostitute who advertises on a website. So, fake name from a fake news agency who actually takes it in the mouth for a living received clearance that some of the most credible media dudes in the world can't receive. The website is (this site is gay and not work safe) hotmilitarystuds.com. Kelly says that this guy had day passes before. Pugs believes that somebody in the white house was visiting a gay whore and had them enter the press room to ask pro-Bush questions (it's also been revealed that staffers have been paying off media sources to ask pro-Bush question and write pro-Bush stories)

3. Two Kenyan Boys had their penises cut off by a group of men. The men wanted to develop a potion out of the severed penises so that would cure AIDs. The boys had their junk reattached in Spain.
Pugs wonders what their penises looks like.

4. Sybil reminds us of the California guy that parked his truck on a rail road track that caused a train wreck that killed 11 people. His wife says that he was trying to get her attention and now she has a restraining order.
Pugs brings up the strawberry truck that got hit by the train. It's been in the news all night. He thinks that's quite the traffic jam. WEEEEE!!!

5. A casino in Atlantic City has given a warning to their female staff stating that if they pack on too many pounds then they'll be suspended. IF they fail to lose the weight then they will be fired. Any weight gain attributed to pregnancy or other medical conditions are exempt.
Pugs and Kelly agree that's an awesome policy. Pugs tells us that he'd love in the NFL but he doesn't have the body type or the skills. If you're not hot then you can't be a cock tail girl at a casino. They remind us that when you go to a bar and the bartenders and the waitresses are fat or ugly, then you don't want to hang out there.

James calls in to guess that the gay reporter is the fake story. He's wrong. James thinks that's weird.

6. A school district in Ohio is being sued because a fourth grade teacher made a boy spray himself with lysol in front of the class because of body odor.
Kelly thinks that stinks. WEEEEEE! Pugs thinks that we need to raise the standards for teachers and raise their pay level so that they can weed out these awful people. Kelly thinks this kid has to move because now he's the fat stinky kid forever. Pugs, Kelly, and Sybil run through names of people that were stinky, perioded, and booger pickers.

7. Howard Dean was debating with former Pentagon advisor Richard Pearl and a protestor threw a shoe at Pearl.

8. Former Dallas Cowboy's Head Coach, Dave Campo, has been named the assistant coach and secondary coach to the Jacksonville Jaguars.

9. Bill Cosby will not face charges for his sexual assault charge because of insufficient evidence.
Pugs explains that they don't have the evidence to bring down somebody of Bill Cosby's stature. He thinks that they believe that he did something wrong but they realize that he'll get away with it.

10. Paul Newman has field for divorce from Joanne Woodward.
Pugs is shocked. Sybil reads that he filed after he walked in on her with Gore Vidal.

Melissa calls in to guess the penis cut off is the fake story. Michael calls in to guess the guy throwing the shoe. Jackie calls in to guess the Paul Newman story is fake. Jackie wins!

*break*

Bowie Hogg joins the show to discuss the Apprentice. Bowie tells us that they were given a 5 grand limit Visa credit card and a traveling trailer. They were suppose to create a business out of it. The street smart team came up with a deal where they charge 25 bucks a pop to talk with a top casting agent. The other team came up with a mobile spa. Pugs thinks that the mobile spa was bad because somebody walking down a busy Manhattan street wouldn't want to stop. Bowie thought the idea was just unoriginal. The Street Smart team won by 80 dollars. Pugs brings up that they fired the gypsy looking guy and he doesn't trust him. Kelly thinks the crystal ball is a little too much. They play a clip of the guy explaining that he's the "escape goat". Pugs wants an escape goat.

*break*

Pugs has been trying to research the history of the Liger. Chris calls in to say that LIger have been around forever. Pugs tells us that the story floating around right now is that... Eric says that Lions and Tigers are natural enemies and won't breed with each other. In captivity they occasionally form a bond and breed. Their offspring is the liger. (lions and tigers don't live on the same continent so they can't really be natural enemies, Lions are African and Tigers are Asian) Pugs says that the couple in a Siberian Zoo mated without being forced by zoologist.

and that's the show.

Pugs lets me know that the girl in the pictures from the grammys does not need her face blurred out anymore. Kelly says that Pugs called her last night freaking out about the face not being blurred. Pugs teaches us that anybody that hangs out with them, there is a good chance it'll end up on the website. Sometimes, people get put up on the web-site without being aware of what that means. People don't always realize that people listen to them until their face ends up on the website. Kelly says that her hair-dresser Michael Morgan had a client that saw his picture the website. Kelly would like to say hello to Nikki. They met at the grocery store yesterday. Kelly explains that Declan was very hyper yesterday. She says that when he's hyper he likes to wrestle. Kelly had to yell, "DON'T TOUCH YOUR SISTER!". She hates yelling that because it seems creepy. Nikki heard her and told her that she listens to the show everyday. Kelly learned a technique from watching the TV show "Super Nanny". Super Nanny says that when you go to the store, you have them pick out things.... for example, "Declan go pick out three lunchables that you want". Giving them a task chills them out. Tommy calls in to ask about what happened to reaching over and bopping them in the head. Kelly brings up the time she smacked Declan for looking under dressing room stalls. Pugs thinks it's bad to smack him for being a peeping tom because it could haunt him as an adult. He tells us that his mother made fun of him when he told her about a girl he liked and it still bothers him today. He has a hard time telling her what girls he's interested in now. Kelly says that everyone's parents did that and Pugs lets her know that his mother was crueler. He tells us that his mom told him that no girl will ever like him because he's an ugly boy. Kelly thinks Pugs is lying and points out that his mother loves her little Johnny more than anything else. Pugs says that she would say that nobody will love him as much as she'd love him because he's an ugly little boy. The conversation goes into disciplining you child. A guy calls in that sounds like Gary the Retard from the Stern show. That's fun. Kelly says that her mother saying, "just wait till your father comes him" worked very well. Pugs reminds her that he didn't have a father. He says that his mother chased him around with a hair brush. Kelly's father broke wooden spoons on their asses and Pugs thinks that parents that attended catholic school are big on the weaponry.

*break*

It's not time for the Pugs and Kelly Institute for Human Growth and Development. A woman sent an e-mail asking if should her feelings be hurt if her husband watches porn that involves women that have no likeness. She's a black woman and her husband only watches porn that involves black men on white women. They've been married for three years and she's 9 months pregnant. Sex has been scarce lately and they've both dated outside their race. He has a child with a white woman. Pugs says that it's obvious that he's into white chicks. Kelly says that she's met a lot of black men that are into black women. Pugs reminds us that a lot of successful black men go after white women. However, he points out that porn isn't about reality. Porn is a fantasy. Kelly would prefer to watch two girls but she doesn't think she could do that in reality. She would be hurt if she was in the e-mailers shoes though. Pugs reminds us that most men aren't married to women that resemble porn stars. Kelly says that she would be bothered if she found out the guy she was married to/dating only watched Asian porn. It wouldn't matter how much she worked out or dyed her hair, she would never be Asian... well, we are the superior people.... Robby calls in and tells us that he's a black guy. He prefers black women. He only watches porno with big butts. He feels that if he was to watch porn with only white women then his wife would be right to be concerned. Bruce calls in to say that he dates white women because all the black women he's dated were complete ball busters. He says that white women have never tried to get into his pocket. Pugs tells him that he knows a lot of women that are after money. Ty calls in to say that there are a lot of black guys that are only into white women. They believe that they're better. Pugs and Ty know each other and Pugs calls him out because he sees Ty always chasing a hot white chick. Ty says that is not true and tells us that his ex-wife is black. Pugs realizes that he only sees Ty at their appearances and there isn't too many black women at their appearances. Ty says that more white women take care of themselves. Preston calls in to say that if he caught his wife watching black porn then he'd be upset. He'd feel like she isn't attracted to him. Michelle calls in to say that as a black woman she has to be a bit of a ball buster because black women are at the bottom. Pugs reminds us that black women are minorities on two levels. Michelle points out that black women in Europe are very sought after but in America it's just not the case.

*break*

Frank Caliendo joins the show and breaks into his Madden impression. Pugs brags that he knows how to say his name correctly now. Pugs wonders if mad TV is still on and Frank assures him that it's still on. Frank knows that Pugs isn't kidding when he asks that. Pugs thinks that Mad TV is a great launch pad and Frank agrees. Then he realizes that it was SNL. Pugs reminds him that they have Artie Lange. Pugs brings up how it's on the Comedy Channel now. Frank tells him that it's Comedy Central. Pugs brings up how Frank is on the NFL on Fox. Frank does his Bradshaw impression. OK... Frank does a million people in 30 seconds. You should really listen to this to get it. Recapping Frank is the hardest thing to do. I'll just plug him... sorry.... however, Frank brings up fathers and Pugs tells him he doesn't have a dad. Frank is unsure if that is a joke and Pugs tells him that his dad was murdered. I also want to point out that Frank is more than impressions. He's also very funny when he's not doing voice.

Frank will be at the Addison Improv there aren't many tickets left but call 972-404-8501...

You can visit Frank Caliendo's website

*break*

Pugs ask Frank about the Super Bowl. Frank answers in his Madden voice and lets us know that the secret to good football is good football. Pugs asks about the trick to doing Madden and Frank tells him that you have to speak in circles. Madden starts with one statement and repeats it over and over in different ways. Pugs has some audio he wants Frank to hear. It's from an ESPN special on Joe Nameth. They talked about how Joe was a smart Quarterback.... "The great surprise is that they discovered that he could control the game with his mind rather than his arm. When the jets found success running the ball to the left side, Nameth continued to all plays to the left side"....

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. A Romanian man went to the hospital after he tied a string around his penis to prevent himself from going to the bathroom. He now faces months of complicated surgery to correct it.
Kelly thinks that he should be on a watch list and Caliendo does his Bush voice saying that he needs to know what time it is. Pugs wonders if they're going to fix his head because his thought process was off. Frank explains, while doing Bush, that he likes to think of that penis as terrorism and the string around it is America.

2. A man was Arrested in South Carolina for posing as Enrique Iglesias so that he can lure a 14 year old out on a date. He met the girl in a K-mart and spoke with her on the phone for weeks.
Frank teaches us that Enrique spends a lot of time at the South Carolina.

3. A Vatican linked university is offering a class on Satanism, black magic, and exorcism.
Kelly says that if Satanism was a penis... then America would be the string around it.

4. In Ohio, a family, husband, wife, and three kid, reported seeing 15 corpses in a fun house at a county fair on Saturday night.
Pugs thinks that it's scary enough to be at a county fair on a Saturday night with your family.
Authorities arrested 49 year old Erwin Eugene Lucas who went on a 3 week killing spree with his 18 year old son. They sacrificed and consumed the body.
Frank reminds us that anybody with three names is trouble. Pugs thinks that with that name, he was probably torturing rabbits as a child.

*break*

Frank does an impression of Chris from the Improv. It's damn good.

5. The woman who claimed that she found a baby being thrown out of a car window has been caught being a big fat liar. The baby actually belongs to her. Numerous men have come forward claiming to be the baby's father.
Kelly thinks that Charlie Gibson most feel real stupid now because he did a segment on how she is a great person. Frank tells us that if we find a baby, turn it in. Kelly doesn't understand why she would throw a baby out of a window. Pugs wonders if Kelly is surprised that she didn't think this one through and points out that she doesn't sound like a planner. He wonders if the crazy lying lady knows that the kid could be worth money on the adoption scene. Pugs tells us that he's thinking about adopting lately. Kelly wonders if he should be married first and Pugs says that he would raise it himself. He tells us that it cost a lot of money and adopting wouldn't help those gay rumors.

6. A musical condom has been invented. The music plays faster as the sex becomes more intense. The songs change as the positions change thanks to the sensors inside.

7. Michael Jackson got out of the hospital yesterday.

8. Jennifer Aniston is dating Vince Vaughn
Pugs thinks that Frank should come up with a Vince Vaughn voice. Frank adds that he looks a lot like Vince. Pugs gives him the assignment.

9. Living with the Lohans is a reality show Lindsay's father is pitching.

10. Production on Arrested Development has halted and there are rumors that this is the last season.
Pugs thinks that Arrested Development is too smart for Fox. Frank says that people watching "Who's Your Baby Daddy" probably won't get Arrested Development.

After a few people guess incorrectly, a guy calls in to say that the Carnie-vore story is the fake story.

*break*

Pugs informs us that Encore Scott from Encore Tickets is in the hospital. Pugs and Kelly wish him a speedy recovery. Richard calls in to tell Pugs and Kelly that Dr. Schwartz has been cheating on them. The Godfather music comes on and Pugs tells Richard that he appreciates the information. However, Dr. Schwartz asked permission to go on the radio show and they granted. Kelly gives Richard a Half-Baked DVD for being a loyal listeners and a snitch. Pugs reminds us that Dr. Schwartz was Dallas' premiere PLastic Surgeon long before he was associated with the show. Joe calls in to ask if Richard had permission to listen to another station. Kelly gives Joe a Motley Crue CD and Joe asks if he can get the Half-Baked DVD instead. Pugs tells him that it isn't choose your prize and calls him a jerk. Joe hangs up. Richard says that he was just surfing during Howard's break.

*break*

During the break, we're get to hear some behind the scenes stuff... it sounds like a choir of foreign retarded people singing Abba. It's on for two seconds and then it disappears.


They come back and assure us that they weren't airing a retarded choir. They were talking about how there is a new girl at Jack FM, Brenda. She is really nice. They were discussing how great it is to have pleasant people at the work place. Back in the Wild 100 days, they weren't so nice. Kelly brings up how one girl never even responded to people and everyone had drama. Pugs teaches us that if you want to be remembered by people then you should be nice. They were talking about the old girl and they couldn't remember her name. Sybil tells them that it was Bethany Park. Sybil wins! Pugs likes the new girl, Breastsy. Kelly wonders what her breast are like and Pugs says that he thinks he called her Betsy. Kelly suggests that he introduce her to his friend Tammy.

They bring up the story from yesterday. "What's good for the gander is good for the goose". Pugs wonders if a gander is a male goose and Kelly tells him that they think it's a female. Pugs points out that normally that saying is backward. Eric looks it up and says that a gander is a male goose. Pugs wonders if most of the geese we see are female. Dave calls in to say that a gander is a flock of geese. Pugs and Kelly reminds him that it's a gaggle of gooses. Kelly wonders if multiple pairs of geese are called a goosi. Pugs thinks it's Gie. Then they remember that it's geese. Kelly wonders if it's a gaggle of geese. Pugs wants Sybil to call the Fort Worth Zoo. Pugs finally reads the story. It's the study done about guys and engagement rings. Pugs wonders what kind of Guido is upset that he doesn't have a ring and Kelly thinks it's the same guy who's protesting the Miss Black America pageant complaining about not having a Miss White America pageant. Pugs reminds us that it's a traditional symbol of love and not an expensive trinket exchange. Male engagement rings are popular in Sweden where sexual equality is paramount. It's also big in Syria where the Muslim population feel that it's a way to insure that the man won't stray. Pugs reminds us that a ring on a finger won't keep a man from straying. Kelly doesn't like the idea of guys with engagement rings. While people assume that she's very liberal, she finds that she's a lot more conservative every day. She likes the idea of gender specific roles. Since she started living in Texas, she's grown to appreciate the door opening gentleman. She tells us that she hasn't dated a guy that has opened her car door. Pugs says that he always takes her girlfriend's coat off and pushes her chair in. She doesn't like it though and tells him that she can do it. Eric says that his mom taught him that you should always open the door for the women you date. He doesn't think his girlfriend has opened a door for herself. Kelly has a fear that she'll be sitting in a car waiting for the door to be opened. He'd walk off and wonder if she's coming. Pugs remind us that when you're at a restaurant and they bring your food out, nobody eats until everyone is served. They have friends, that will remain nameless, that just dig in. Pugs tells us that his mother wouldn't associate with men that wore rings. She believes that they're all show-off used car salesman type. Kelly says that she was also prejudice against Italians. Renee calls in to say that she has a problem with the 5 percent that said they want something in return because thy dropped cash on the woman. Bill calls in to say that the man's engagement ring should be made of brass and shoved his nose. He thinks that if you follow this tradition then you'll be lead around for the rest of your life. Pugs points out that it's impractical for men to wear rings. He tells us that he randomly punches himself in the head and reminds us of the time when he wrapped himself in bubble wrap and started punching his head... pictures in the gallery.... Pugs says that if your a woman and you want to give your husband something after he gives you a ring, give him tickets to a mavs game.

*break*

Pugs like how Kelly has started calling the interns, thing 1 and thing 2. Sybil will wait at the door until her boyfriend opens it. She thinks it's a little prima donna but Pugs thinks it just means she's a cool chick expecting to be treated like a lady. Kelly says that she expects her date to open the door but not to lay a coat over a mud puddle. Kelly likes a guy that can help her feel feminine. Chuck calls in to ask if this is a different dimension because he remembers Pugs talking about farting in the car with his girlfriend. Pugs says that he does do that but he also opens her door and pushes her stool in. Kelly wonders if Eric dumped the part where he said "push her stool in". Another guy calls in to say that Pugs also refused to get out of bed to help her change a tire while she was in danger. Kelly brings up how her ex-boyfriend was very romantic until the end. Pugs tries to be romantic with Lady Friend but she tells him that it's cheesy. Pugs brings up the rose girl at the bar and wonders if people actually want the rose. Kelly says no and that the rose vendor try to guilt you into buying it. Sybil says that it's too expensive and you have to carry it around. Sybil would rather get a round of drinks. A guy calls in to say that when you have to deal with the rose person you just tell them that the rose isn't rare enough nor beautiful enough to give to the woman you're with. Pugs thinks that's awesome and Kelly agrees. A guy asks if Sybil or Kelly say thank you to people holding the door. Kelly says that she does. Pugs tells us that he has a no way of handling people that don't say thank you to door opening. They were at Bob's Steak house and he excused himself from the table to use the phone. While outside, he opened the door for a group of stuck up 40-50 year old Plano housewives and they didn't even acknowledge him. So, his new line is "you know I'm not the F*ing door man".


*break*

A guy sent Pugs an E-mail calling him gay for wanting to treat ladies like ladies. He says that women like to have their power you standing up in the room and opening doors take their power away. To do it too early in the relationship makes the woman think she's too important. He also says that he says this stuff because his girlfriend is listening and he's kissing up. Pugs points out that if Lady Friend was listening then she'd know if he was lying or not. A guy calls in to say the e-mailer obviously didn't hear the show where Pugs refused to go change her tire.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

Everyone sings Bruce Hornsby... for a long time. Long long time.... long long long time. Yeah, they ran out of time for news.

*break*

Now it's time for news...

1. Mobile PC Magazine has released a list of the worst inventions of all time.
5) Dancing Hamster Dolls
4) The Bow-lingual dog translator
3) The Furby
Sybil confuses this with the flowby. Kelly's kids have them and they're freaky looking. She doesn't know had to lock them in a bathroom far away because they talk too much. Eric thinks it's scary.
2) A VHS tape rewinder
Josh calls in to say that his friend's furby survived a house fire. Sybil thinks it's creepy. Pugs sounds creeped out.
1) The Alarm Clock
Pugs thinks they're just trying to be cute. He thinks they should put toilet paper on there because he doesn't like using that the way it was intended to be used. Kelly thinks going to the bathroom is a waste of time. Pugs loves going to the bathroom. If he has to go number 2, he'll wait an extra 20 minutes to help build it up. The way he has his place arranged now, he can watch TV from the toilet. Kelly wishes that the body would find a new more efficient way to get rid of waste. Pugs points out that a guy will read anything in the bathroom. Eric says that his most relaxing time of the day is the time he spends while dropping a dook. Pugs says that the best book to read in the bathroom is the book "America" by Jon Stewart. Pugs and Eric have eaten in the bathroom. That's god awful.

2. Sealy Mattresses did a survey and they found that 67 percent of people let their pet sleep with them at night.
Pugs says that he gets really sad when his dog isn't sleeping at the end of the bed. Kelly was thinking about getting a cat from her baby sitter Amy. She wants to use it to catch the rats. Pugs wonders if that's just cartoon science or real. Everyone agrees that dogs have no bedroom etiquette. They'll take up as much room as they'll like. Pugs' dog will stretch out and kick him in the bed. He thinks dogs are A-holes. Patty/Patti/Pattie calls in to say that she borrowed a cat and it caught the rat in one day. Kelly hopes that the cat doesn't bring it to her because her dog does. Pugs says that his dog kills raccoons, birds, and coyotes and brings it back as if to say "hey! dinner is on me tonight!". A guy calls in to say that his girlfriend's dog killed a bunny and brought it back on Easter. Kelly points out that Pugs doesn't want his girlfriend to sleep in the same bed with him but he wants his dog to. Pugs explains that if Lady Friend wants to sleep in a ball at the end of the bed then it would be easier.

3. JD, a Labrador retriever from Fort Worth, was with his master while they were playing Frisbee golf.
Pugs points out that the master must be a stoner.
... a police officer stopped them and asked for ID. JD then went into the pot stash and gave it to the officer.
Kelly calls the dog a narc. Pugs wonders if Man's Best Friend, doggy training school, can teach dogs local ordinance pertaining to marijuana possession. Pugs says that anybody that plays Frisbee golf is a stoner. He points out that if you visit any smoke shop you'll find a full assortment of Frisbee golf accessories. Kelly points out that Frisbees move slower than a ball. Pugs thinks that's why stoners play catch with Frisbees. Eric and Pugs act out stoner Frisbee toss.

3. In Beaver, Oregon, 17 year old over dosed and died from marijuana. This is the first ever case of pot overdose. They estimate that he smoked 3 ounces of weed.
Pugs says that nobody ODed from weed.

4. A gay rights group are trying to shut down a German Zoo's effort to set several gay penguins straight. They're brining in new female penguins to try to break up the three gay couples. The gay relationships are halting the zoo's reproduction efforts.
Pugs points out that penguins are very well dressed so it's believable that they'd be gay. Kelly wonders about the thought process that went into to designing tuxedos after penguins.

5. The Mavericks beat the Golden State Warriors.

6. The 2005 NHL season has been officially canceled.
Pugs reminds hockey guys that it could be worse. You could be a soccer guy.

7. Kid Rock got into a fight with strip club DJ over the selection of music.

Mike calls in to say that the fake story is the gay penguin story. Mike is wrong. Another guy, they never say his name, calls in to say that the story is the death by marijuana story. Charles calls in to say that they're generalizing about guys who play disc golf. He says that they have an organization in Lewisville and just wrote a check for 40,000 dollars to a charity. Eric calls in to say that the previous caller doesn't know what he's talking about. All you got to do is go out into the woods, get lost, toss a Frisbee, and smoke all day long.

*break*

Pugs is surprised that the Frisbee golf and stoners guys are so organized. They've sent e-mails in bulk. One guy writes that since Pugs is so good at making generalizations then he will do it to them. Pugs and Kelly point out that they do that every day.

Mid day radio host are fat.
Pugs- yes
Kelly- No

Lazy
Pugs- yes
Kelly- no

Loud mouth
Pugs- Yes
Kelly- Yes

Uneducated Cocaine Addicts
Pugs- no
Kelly- no

Pugs admits that he's done cocaine and people in Dallas introduced him to it. He hasn't done it in two years. He remind us that to be an addict then you'd have to do it regularly. Pugs tried it and realized that he liked it so much that he had to stop. They both have college degrees.

The guys asks if they ever played disc golf because there is more to it than you might think. Pugs says that he's tossed a disc around and played golf but he has never mixed the two because he's never been that high. The e-mailer says it's good exercise and fun. He explains that when people start associating it with drug use then it ruins the chances of cities building more courses. Pugs says that he doesn't want his tax money to go to Frisbee golf courses. He points out that everyone that has ever asked him to play Frisbee golf are stoners. Eric says that people ask him to play Frisbee golf like this, "hey man.. you want to get really stoned and play Frisbee golf?". Gavin enters the studio to say that he plays disc golf. Pugs points out that Gavin is the furthest thing from a stoner. Gavin has 6 or 7 discs. He explains that he played it as a kid and they had parks in Vegas. He eventually got addicted. Pugs says that if you play disc golf an you're not a stoner than you're just a dork. Pugs wants to play hockey tennis. Gavin invites him out and tells Pugs that he'd get hooked. Pugs doesn't think so and Gavin assures him it's a walk in a park. Pugs reminds him that stoners go for walks in the park. Ron calls in to say that stoners play disc golf and some people drink beer. Pugs adds alcoholics to the list of people that play disc golf. Ron thinks that disc golf is as real a sport as ball golf. Pugs and Kelly get hung up on the use of the phrase "ball golf". Kelly wonders if it's like an east coast/west coast thing. You're either ball golf or disc golf. James calls in to say that he's not a stoner and he plays disc golf all the time. James says that it's a great exercise. Kelly hates when people say that because the only way golf helps you lose weight is because it keeps you away from the fridge. Pugs points out that if somebody says that they're going to follow the Grateful Dead around for a summer then he assumes that they're a stoner. If somebody says they play a sport and the only place Pugs knows to buy the equipment is at a head shop... then he has to assume that it's a stoner sport. Kelly lets everyone know that I don't appreciate the assumption that everyone who smokes weed plays Frisbees golf because I don't want to be linked to the disc golf dorks.

*break*

Funny thing... Right around the time I heard Pugs and Kelly say.. hey Will, ignore this segment. My radio went crazy and changed itself to the old school R &B station. I would never listen to Pugs or Kelly's demand that i leave things out of the blog because it's not fair to those that can't listen... like those in Chicago but, what am I suppose to do? God changed my radio and I sat back and enjoyed listening to a song from Stevie Wonder's album, Songs in the Key of Life.


comments? E-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com

Kelly think that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are different from the rest of the women of the world because Mary-Kate wears dress that try to make her look fatter. Kelly says that they have the body of 12 year old girls and wonders if there is some kind of psychological problem that makes them want to stay that way. Pugs wonders if Mary-Kate and Ashley are still A-list celebrities. He knows that they'll forever be childhood icons for an entire generation but he doesn't know if they still have any kind of impact. Pugs brings up the Electric Company and how it was Morgan Freeman's launch pad. Kelly isn't too fond of the Electric Company. Pugs and Kelly do their impression of the silhouette guys from the Electric Company...

B... ob.. Bob
D.. oy... Doy
G... ate... Gate
Pugs says he was trying to go with gay
Ho.... Kelly tells Pugs to shut up and that she doesn't like being called a 'ho'... mo... Homo

Pugs brings up how everyone making children's TV were raging drugahohlics. They wonder what shows are timeless for their generation. Pugs brings up Zoom. They both sing a song with the word Zoom in it a lot. A guy calls in to bring up Fraggle Rock. Kelly says that it came after them but Pugs admits that he watched it in '83. Pugs explains that the fraggle rock universe was inside a fat man's wall. Pugs brings up the Space Coaster and Kelly sings the theme. Joshua calls in to talk about the Gigglesnort the hotel. Pugs talks about the characters, BJ, the dirty dragon, and blob. Pugs does his blob impression. He was a big ball of clay. BJ, the only human, would take blob and turn him into a cool clay sculpture. The next day he'd be back as the blob again. God only knows what happened to blob once he left the lobby of the hotel. Pugs says that looking back at the show he realizes that the hotel was a really seedy transient hotel run by a guy named BJ. Pugs brings up the crow named Jim Dandy and starts singing again. Lisa calls in to talk about the News in Review. This turns into Pugs and Kelly singing again. Pugs brags about how Morgan Freeman taught him how to read and goes back into more Electric Company bits. A guy calls in to say that Gigglesnort hotel ruined his childhood. He explains that his mother convinced him that everyone could understand blob but him. Kelly admits that would be something she'd do. Pugs thinks that screwing with kids is one of the only good reasons for having them. Wally calls in to bring up Lidsville. A kid went backstage to a magician's show and fell into a hat. He ended up in this world where everyone was a giant hat. Pugs reminds us that "lid" was a drug reference back then. He thinks that it was a retelling of going backstage at a rock star, doing drugs with the band, and ending up in a trippy world. Pugs and Kelly sing some song from the Banana Splits. Kelly gives Wally a copy of the complete series of Lidsville. Pugs is surprised that they have that and seems envious of the prize. He wants to go through Sam's closet to see what kind of cool stuff they have.

*break*

Pugs is so happy to be home. Kelly says that she's happy to see her kids but other than that, she was fine in LA. Pugs hated the bed and the shower. He wants to get a glass wall installed at his place because it was hot to see her shower. It was also neat to watch TV while cleaning. Kelly says that she needs to get out of her house. She's surrounded by critters at her place. She thinks they're living in the attic and under the house. She complains that they sound so close. She thinks it's opossums or maybe raccoons. She says that her shower isn't draining and she thinks it's because something is living there. A guy calls in to say that it sounds like rats. He teaches us that rats move to a warmer place during the winter time. Kelly says that she's not going to be the one to set rat traps. He tells her that they're only 8 feet above you and they're probably making babies. Kelly is officially freaked out. Jake calls in to say that it's rats for sure. He tells her that one day he found 5 feeding out of his dog's bowl. Pugs thinks that they should call them mice instead of rats to make her feel better. Jason calls in to say that they're called Norway rats. They're giant and breed like crazy. He tells her that there is a service you can call. Eric reminds her that the land lord should be the one to handle all that. Kelly tells him that the last time she had a pest problem, he put ant poison on the kitchen counter. Kelly doesn't think it's cool to have poison around your kitchen. Kelly is freaked out and is considering staying in a hotel. Kelly says that she can handle this stress and says that she needs to find a guy to marry. She needs a rat killer, garbage taker outer, sex machine, and light bulb changer.

Pugs says that he gets really critical of people that Kelly brings around. There was a situation with comedian Craig Gass while they were in LA. Pugs stayed away while Craig did his thing but monitored in case Kelly needed some help. They reminds us that Craig does all the voices on Stern and a lot of TV. He's a friend because they had him on before he made it big. Pugs teaches us that Craig is always banging Howard's interns. There was one intern that Craig invited to lunch but convinced into making a pit stop at his hotel first. They ended up having sex. The intern asked if they were still going to lunch and Craig told her he was too tired and wanted to sleep. Pugs says that the first time he was in town, he took out a lot of sale girls including a girl that was seeing Russ. He's a player of the highest order. He even hit on two of Pugs' girlfriends in front of him. Eric says that he had to stop Craig from hitting on his girlfriend Melissa. They agree that Craig has no loyalty toward the guy code. Kelly tells us that Craig wanted to get a script messengered over to her hotel room. Kelly didn't want him hanging out in her room because there is only one way to sit. Kelly had to tell him three times that they weren't going to sleep together and on the third time, Craig asked if they were going to at least make out. Pugs tells her that he was trying to play the ''lets hang out as friends" rap up until Kelly told him that there would be no sex. Chris Booker then joined the group and Pugs says that it made him feel better. He didn't think he would make moves with Booker there. Kelly says that after she spoke with Booker for a while, Craig left. The next morning Kelly received a text message from him saying "there's nothing but blue skies at the beach right now". Eric is shocked. Pugs explains that they were at retro-diner in a hip LA hotel. It's like the world's hippest Denny's. Pugs could hear Craig speaking to Kelly. Craig told her that he just bought the first car he ever owned and he just likes to take off to Tuscan to hang out with his mom. Kelly admits that she missed what he meant. Pugs was staring at Craig, made the universal "phhhhhft" face. Craig saw him and quickly dropped eye contact with him.

*break*

Kelly got an e-mail from a guy that sent her a list of ways to humanely get rid of her rats. Kelly says that she doesn't care if it's humane or not. Pugs thinks that at this point she could care less if somebody walked up and individually cut the throat of each rat. He suggest pulling a Vlad the Impaler. She should line her field with spikes and impale rat bodies on them. This will serve as a warning to all rats that they should stay out of Romania. Kelly has placed Cody with the duty of critter control management.

Pugs and Kelly did an impromptu radio show on the plane to help calm their nerves. Pugs thinks it's a shame that it's not broadcast because they always have the best radio during those times. The guy with the window seat turned out to be a listener. Pugs admits that he doesn't have an inner laugh. If he's reading something on a plane and he finds it funny, he'll laugh really loud. He was reading Stuff Magazine and proclaims that it's his favorite out of the men magazines. Kelly tells us that I just reminded her that Stuff Magazine has the guy that always lied on their show. They had a list of life's biggest disappointments.

Lap Dances: Do you really need to pay top dollar for sexual frustration?

Yasser Arafat: We're so disappointed that the Palestinian peace hater died of natural causes and not by being eaten by rabid dogs.

Nude celebrity photos, Brittany Spears' choice of sperm donor, actually meeting porn stars, tour of an aircraft carrier, job promotions, the function keys at the top of the keyboard, ...

your 18th birthday: Congratulations you can be tried as an adult.

Kelly says that on her 18th birthday she went to dinner with her mom and dad to the Olive Garden.


yoga: kind of like the Kama Sutra without the orgasms.

Kelly says that losing her virginity was a big disappointment.

Cocaine: If we wanted to spend 100s of dollars to be nervous then we'd hang out at starbucks all day.

Penthouse Hotel Rooms: A Jacuzzi in the living room? Sweet! Too bad check out is at 11 AM.

Vick calls in to say that going in the back door is a big disappointment because it's too much prep work. Vick says that it looks way easier in the movies.

Learning and mastering Algebra: We use it all the time, huh?
I knew I wouldn't need that crap. Was there a point in failing me twice?

Tanya calls in to say that marriage is a letdown. She says that you get married and then ten years later you're divorced. Pugs thinks that you romanticize it too much. A guy calls in to say that the first time to a strip club was a big disappointment. He went to a place on Harry Hines... yikes. He saw a 300 pound behemoth of a woman walking around naked. Kelly says that unless you go to the high end ones then you're always in for a horrible shock. Rob calls in to say that any bachelor party is horrible. Pugs reads that it's on the list too.

Bachelor Parties: 99 percent of bachelor parties end when somebody does something so completely embarrassing that you can never look that person in the eyes again, unless that person is you.

Kelly thinks that I have a good one. "I think that traveling outside the country is a letdown. You romanticize traveling the world and visiting exotic locales but all you find are people that talk funny and god awful food." Pugs adds confusing exchange rates. Kelly says that she doesn't like authentic Mexican food. A guy calls in to bring up how when you graduate college, your first interview is with a guy that tells you that you can't get this job without experience. Tony calls in to say your first adult paycheck. Pugs says that it does suck and it's never as much as you expect. Jason calls in to say meeting a radio personality. He explains that you meet this old bald 300 pound guy and then he gets in his old beat up chevy cavalier and drives away. Kelly is surprised that he met Steve Dahl too. Kelly says that Gavin had "wedding night". Pugs didn't even have sex on his wedding night and everyone agrees that you're just too tired. Gavin also said high class restaurants because the people are always stuck up and the food is always over-priced and small.

*break*

1. A dentist in Dallas and a group of other guys were arrested in San Diego. The group was on the way to Mexico to go have sex with underage boys. THe group was discovered when an undercover cop infiltrated NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Lovers Association).

2. In Sweden, a woman and her family were having dinner. They had a bottle of ketchup and they found a penis inside.
Sybil thinks that it must have been a jumbo size and Pugs assures her that it doesn't have to be a jumbo size. Kelly thinks that it would have to take up a lot of space and Pugs tells her that it really doesn't. Sybil starts singing the Police- Penis in a Bottle. Kelly thinks that ketchup is the new cool condiment. Pugs admits that he takes ridiculously large quantities of hot sauce from Taco Bell. Kelly says that you're suppose to go to the store to buy that and Pugs teaches her that they give it to you for free. Kelly thinks that if they're going to charge only 60 cents for the burrito then you should feel guilty for robbing their sauce. Pugs also takes all the napkins. He thinks he might have been alive during the depression in another life time.

3. A Canadian police officer is informing people that they should drive with both hands on the wheel. He pulled over a woman yesterday morning who was curling her hair with both hands. Last week they pulled over a guy who was shaving, had a cell phone on his lap, a cigarette in his mouth, and he wasn't wearing a seat belt. People have been caught reading, watching DVDs, and having sex while driving.
Pugs had a friend that read while delivering pizza.

*break*

4. The Us Substance Abuse Association did a survey to discover which states do the most drugs, what type, and which ones consume the most alcohol.
Pugs says that even though he and Kelly worked in the highest rated radio station in Chicago and he never even saw cocaine until he was in Dallas for a year.... wooooo, Texas pride!.... Kelly thinks that the drinking would be the cold state because there is nothing else to do. Pugs thinks that it's always in the states where there is nothing to do.
Alaska has the highest percentage of people that do illegal drugs. Kelly thinks it would suck to be on coke in Alaska cause you can't even go outside to do anything. Pugs points out that there isn't a lot of people around so you can't even talk. He teaches us that when you're on coke, all you want to do is chat people up. Alaska also has the most marijuana smokers. Pugs thinks that it's just like Canada and he teaches us that weed in grows like weed in Canada. Colorado and Rhode Island came in at the top for cocaine. Massachusetts came out on top for alcohol usage. Pugs thinks that all this proves is that when called for a survey, people in Texas are liars. He tells us that there are more drugs in this state then any other state he's ever been.

5. Emergency workers in San Francisco responded to a call from St. Joseph's cathedral late last night. A church attendant, Michael Cross, had "fallen on" a crucifix. The EMT workers aren't buying his story.
Pugs says that his mother worked in emergency and she told him about a book that the doctors had of things that people "accidentally fell" on. Kelly wonders about the last time anybody fell on their butt. Pugs points out that you don't really fall on your butt with your cheeks spread.

6. Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital yesterday and it has delayed the trial for a week. (it was later revealed that it was because of the flu)
Pugs thinks that he's the biggest drama queen.

7. A contestant in Sylvester Stallone's new upcoming boxing reality TV show has committed suicide.

8. Janis Joplin's Estate is looking for the new Janis Joplin and have created the show "Search for the Pearl".

Steve calls in to say that the fake story was the guy with the crucifix... he's right.

*break*

Pugs thought it was weird when they interviewed Peter Brady because it looked like he had an engagement ring. According to a new survey, 42 percent of American figure that if a woman wear an engagement ring to show that she's taken then a man should too. Kelly doesn't think that women really want to give a ring because then they'd have to pay for it. Five percent of those surveyed say that if he spends that much on a ring then she should too. Pugs thinks that's a very jerky attitude and Kelly suggests that she just get him a big screen TV. 32 percent of men are firmly against it and 21 percent is unsure.

*break*


They ran out of time and couldn't finish the ring segment.

will@pugsandkellylive.com

They open the show with a song from James about how they're going to die in a horrible plane crash. Pugs and Kelly are still in LA. They're broadcasting from the same place that Tom Leykis is at. Eric told Pugs and Kelly that Gavin hated the song. Kelly thinks that if there was a line about him banging a 15 year old then he might like it. Pugs thinks that Gavin hates James. Kelly had a Collin Farrell moment. Pugs brings up how everyone in L.A. tries to dress like a homeless person because it's chic. Kelly thinks the look is too fake. Pugs doesn't think he'd like to live in LA because he needs a normal city. He points out that everyone he met is "somebody, about to be somebody, or on the right path to become somebody". Pugs wished that they'd just shut up and realize that they're a waiter. Kelly discovered that celebrities look just like real people. Pugs points out that the halo gives it away. Kelly observed that they're all really small too and Pugs teaches us that the guys in Greenday wear pants that could fit a 7th grade girl. Pugs thanks Gavin for hooking them up. Kelly wonders if they should thank Cain even though he almost got them killed. Gavin joins the show and says that he doesn't hate James or his music. He says that the song just went a little long. They were on Sunset BLVD on Saturday night. They just left a placed called Rainbow. They explain that Cain's Chinese wife accused this creepy skin head drug user dude of grabbing her ass and she kicked him. Cain walks five steps ahead and stayed there. The guy got mad and told her that she wasn't allowed to kick him. Cain starts walking away. Tammy and Kelly wonder what's going on. Pugs explains that the guy looks like he could have been an extra on the HBO show "Oz". Wayne, down under pub and grub, confronted him. The guy then put his hand behind his back and kept it there. It appeared as if he might have had a concealed weapon. He then begins to tweak out of control. Wayne then asked him what he had behind his back. The man said that he'd kill them all. Cain and his wife are now three blocks away. Pugs explains that they had the choice of grabbing the women and crossing the street or getting into a confrontation. Gavin says that he'd avoid because you don't know what the guy has. They do an instant-poll and it turns out that all the guys agree that you have to cross the street. Pugs is proud of the male audience.

*break*

Pugs points out that Green Day, Collin Farrell, and Cory Feldman all stayed at their hotel. The Grammys were last night. Pugs ended up giving his ticket to his girlfriend. He points out that he'd be more likely to enjoy his time alone in a hotel room. Kelly says that she had a great time. She thought it was weird to see people that you've seen on TV. She tells us that she thought one guy looked like Billie Joe from Green Day and then noticed that the guys sitting with him looked like the Green Day guys. Kelly was sitting in the radio area. There was chick sitting behind her that thought she was really cool cause she was on the radio. She was super loud. She did a call into her station and she was yelling through the break right into a performance. Kelly wanted to remind her that they were all in radio and nobody was impressed. Pugs points out that they would actually think less of her because she has to do call-ins on her day off. Kelly started making fun of her and she's sure she heard him. Kelly and Tammy had to move over a chair because the guy sitting next to them smelled so bad. When Green Day won they gave thanks to radio. Kelly tells us that one guy felt the need to give them a high five double side gesture because he knew that they meant him directly. Pugs tell us that the girls were absolutely beautiful. Pugs didn't even get to see the grammys in it's entirety because of the tape delay. Kelly thought it was more of a concert where they threw a trophy out every once and a while. Pugs only got to see 4 of the performances. He thought the J-lo and Marc Anthony thing was brutal. They play a clip of the opening cluster-f. It's good that they crammed all the most popular songs together because I absolutely needed to see that dumb ass Tim McGraw 48 times. Pugs really liked the red neck southern rock jam. He thought it was cool and it appears as if nobody agrees with him. Kelly loved Usher and has a huge amount of respect for him now. Pugs heard that they're going to scrap the national anthem and just play "Yeah" before every sporting event. Kelly thinks that Usher is Michael Jackson at Thriller. She can't believe that he can get his body to do that sort of stuff while dancing. He lost album of the year to Ray Charles. Kelly thinks that Usher has to be pissed that Ray Charles died this year. Just calls in to say that Melissa Ethridge doing the Janis Joplin tribute was awesome. She blew Joss Stone out of the water. Pugs admits that he thought Melissa Ethridge was just being a militant lesbian because she was sporting the shaved head but it was just cancer. Sybil thought the same thing. Pugs felt awful after he found out that she was just embracing her chemo because he thought she was just being a man-hating lesbian. Eric thinks that she's a great singer for somebody with chemo. Sybil thinks that she's a great singer for somebody that's a lesbian. Pugs says that he's responsible for Green Day's big win. Emil and Pugs were hanging out at the patio of their hotel. They were drinking mohitos and having their own little red carpet special. Green Day was out to prove that they're a real legitimate rock band. Pugs said.. "Billie.. hey Billie... this is your night tonight.. good luck". Billie said thanks. Kelly thinks that isn't really helping Green Day win a Grammy. Pugs admits that it was more in his own head. Phil calls in and sucks up 4 minutes of my life to just say "the drummer for Green Day is a good guy". Eric congratulates Pugs and Kelly on their big Grammy win. THey play audio of them accepting their award.

*break*

They play a tape of their interview with Papa Roach. There are a lot of members and I can't tell the voices apart. They'll be in town in spring with Trust Company. Kelly tells them that it took her a while to jump on the wagon with Papa Roach because she didn't think she'd like a band with that name. Kelly wonders which one writes all the songs about being heart broken and she asks if he's OK. He says that he just wrote it about a time that he was severely heart broken. Pugs reveals that Kelly is in need of getting laid and one of the Roaches offers Kelly some d**k. One of the guy says that he's married to a Kelly. It's a short interview.

*break*

Pugs thought the Papa Roach guys were very cool. Kelly points out that one of the guys said that he wasn't going to promote their show cause it was run by a different station. Pugs brings up how one of the Papa Roach guys is married to Mya Tyler, daughter of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Liv Tyler's fat sister. She is on that Celebrity Fit Club show. She threatened to physically harm a judge because they criticized her for not losing her target weight. Pugs can't believe that nice Papa Roach guy is married to that bitch.

Pugs rings up the sexual exemption list. Lady Friend's, Tammy, list is Ben Affleck, Ed Burns, Matthew Mconahaalahaly, and Brad Pitt. Pugs tells us that while they were trying to get away from the creepy tweaker with a gun incident, Ed Burns walked by them and she didn't notice. Matthew Maconhallly was at the Grammys. Kelly tells us that Pugs made Tammy swear to call off the exemption list. Pugs says that he gave Tammy the ticket under the guideline that she can't bang anybody on her list. Kelly tells him that he gave her the ticket the day before he came up with that stipulation. Kelly is insulted for his girlfriend. She wonders why Pugs thinks that they would walk up to somebody famous and attempt to get a groupie hook-up bang. Pugs says that he believes she would because right before the Grammy's she gave him his valentine's present. Pugs thought that meant that she was planning on not coming home. Tammy says that she knew how Pugs likes to party and wasn't expecting him till late.

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. In Arizona, a woman is being held for eating her baby. She admitted to smoking a large amount of pot.
Pugs thinks that's a seriously messed up case of the munchies. Pugs makes everyone laugh by saying "I said to eat a Baby Ruth... not a baby, Ruth." Pugs thanks everyone or the charitable laughs. Sybil assures him that it was genuine.

2. A website did a poll about what movie most resemble their love life.
13% resembles Pretty Woman.
15% said Fatal Attraction
18% said High Fidelity
20% said 50 First Dates.
Pugs says that his is most like Blow. Kelly's is Alone in the Dark.

3. List of the 100 greatest tear jerk movies. (1-10)
10. My Girl
9. Field of Dreams
8. The Champ
7. Shawshank Redemption
6. Bambi
5. Ghost
4. It's a Wonderful Life
3. Titanic
2. The Green Mile
1. E.T.

*break*

Kelly thanks Mike for calling in and identifying the first story as the fake. Pugs admits that he forgot about the fake story. Kelly wonders if Sybil made up the Brittany Spears divorce and pregnant story and Sybil says that she did. Pugs tells her that another DJ told them that he heard about that story. They tod him that they made it up and those DJs told him that he got it from a different source.

4. The mavs barely beat the Seattle Supersonics.

5. The AFC beat the NFC in the pro-bowl.

6. Christina Aguilera is now engaged.

7. That School teacher that got knocked up by her student is getting married to him. She's 43 and he's 22 now.
Pugs goes out on a limb and says that she has something wrong with him.

8. Chris Rock might not host the Oscars this year because of the things he has been saying. He said that only gays watch the Oscars and that awards for art are F***ing idiotic.
Pugs agrees with everything he said but admits that he watches the Oscars. He heard the interview and he was saying the things Chris Rock would say. Kelly says that while she normally agrees with Pugs on this matter, she points out that it's not like Chris Rock is a comedian or anything. Pugs thinks there is no chance that he could be joking.

9. Jose Canseco...
Pugs thinks he has a cool name but it's a shame that he's not a nice guy.
Jose Canseco has been outing people for steroid use in his new book "Juice". He was on 60 minutes and they have a clip. Eric explains that it's Jose Canseco says that Rafael Palmero, Ivan Rodriguez, and Juan Gonzalez using steroid. Eric also explains how Jose talks about his career being fueled by steroids. They play the clip... Jose Canseco says that Rafael Palmero, Ivan Rodriguez, and Juan Gonzalez using steroid. He explains how his career being fueled by steroids....

10. Weekend Box Office Update
5. Pooh's Heffalump Movie
4. Million Dollar Baby
3. Are We There Yet
2. Boogey Man
1. Hitch

*break*

They play their interview with Rob Schneider. Rob says that he loves Dallas and in particularly Deep Ellum. He says that he remembers back in the day when you could still get ecstasy at a club. Rob didn't even know what ecstasy was until he went to Dallas. Pugs reminds us that Dallas put ecstasy on the map. Yeah.. it's around this time when my equipment decided to go... "HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" for the rest of the show. I didn't know it was doing this because I was out running an errand. There wasn't that much left. Rob promotes Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. They also talk to the guys from Collective Soul.

e-mail Will at will@pugsandkellylive.com