Kelly is upset because she has been misquoted on the blog. She sees that I wrote " Kelly also had the best date of her life on Friday. She says that the negative part is... off the air...."... Hey, you said it. It had to do with the listener's Tyson comment. You went off the air for some reason. I don't misquote.... Kelly says that she has never said anything bad about Kelly Raspberry and that you people that are trying to rabble rouse are bitches and hoes. Kelly informs Pugs that they invented a new plant that curbs binge drinking. She reminds us that lack of funds also curbs binge drinking. She also points out that a lot of people that binge drink do it on purpose and don't want to be stopped. Kelly thinks it's ridiculous that scientist think that four beers in one night is binge drinking. Pugs welcomes Gavin, Program Director and genuinely good guy, to the show. They have a big announcement. Pugs is upset that Gavin isn't as excited about it as he probably should be. Pugs and Kelly agree that this is a fricking great idea. Gavin says that they don't have a start date but it could be in a week. He doesn't sound too excited. Gavin brags that they're now digital on the radio. Pugs and Kelly don't know what that means. Gavin says that in newer car radios, you can hear in CD quality sound. Gavin wants Pugs to announce it. Pugs will wait till the next segment.
*break*
Pugs says that their boss is such a ball buster. Justin calls in to ask if the show has been syndicated. Pugs and Kelly reveal that Gavin scoffed at the idea of syndication. Gavin says that he meant it in a loving way. Ben calls in to ask if they're going to stream the show online. Ben wins. You will be able to listen to Live 105.3 online. Pugs thinks that this will be great for the morale of the troops in IRaq. James "Napoleon" Hamrick calls in to say that he loves this. Pugs wonders what time it is over there and James says that he's not in Iraq yet. He's in South Carolina. Pugs says that they only want to talk to him when he's in Iraq. They put James on hold so that he can listen to the show.
*break*
I just lost my whole segment. This sucks. I really thought i was doing well with this one. Krazy Kurt and his misadventures... I want to finish this so I'll try again in the morning. If you've been reading
Team Wilco blog then you know that I kind of broke my lap top. This means that I have to work on a 3rd rate machine. This is what it sounds like when doves cry.
Kelly asks Kevin, her brother, if he has something to tell Pugs. Kevin says that he does in ten minutes. Kelly has a thermometer for the room. Pugs wonders if their studio is going to be turned into Russ Martin's sauna because it's really hot. Kelly assures him that in about a half hour they'll be complaining that it's too cold. Eric reads that it's 82 degrees in the room. Pugs thinks it feels worse because it's really humid. Eric has back sweat. Justin calls in to wonder if Pugs enjoyed the zoo. Pugs doesn't know how he went to the zoo. Justin said that he saw him walking around. Pugs thinks it's a great zoo. Kelly heard that the Dallas zoo is ghetto compared to the Fort Worth zoo.... well, they do shoot gorillas there... Eric brags that the Fort Worth zoo is the only zoo in the United states with all four species of great apes. Pugs brings up how the big giant orangutan looks like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons. He isn't convinced that it's a real orangutan. Kelly hates going to the zoo because it's stinky and hot. Pugs also liked being really close to a real American bald eagle. He says that they're the size of Eric. He also got to see brown bears wrestling around. He complains that they don't have any polar bears. He thinks that he had the best Saturday he could possibly have at the zoo. He says that Fort Worth is beautiful and wonders how the hell they got it. Eric says that it's because of the strong mayor. Pugs says that they are a bunch of pretty parks near TCU and complains that a park in Dallas will get a Banana Republic put up inside 3 months. Kelly says that the gays own the parks in Dallas. PUgs also looked around the Colonial section. He says that it's an affordable Highland Park. He also noted seeing hills and trees in Fort Worth. Dallas is all flat and boring. Pugs is a Fort Worth guy. Kelly and Pugs agree that the problem with Fort Worth is that it's so far away. He also likes the down town district. Kelly says that the problem with Japanese Gardens is that an hour after you leave, you want to go back. Pugs also played with his friend's wallaby. Kelly also had the best date of her life on Friday. She says that the negative part is... off the air.... Kelly picked up her boyfriend from the airport. They did went to go see Tom Leykis at Firewater. Kelly had to make stage announcements. She thought it was awkward to ask people if they're ready to listen to talk radio. Kelly says that a listener yelled that her boyfriend looks just like Tyson. Pugs notes that he doesn't look anything like Tyson. Kelly hopes that Rob doesn't think that she's trying to replace Tyson with a guy that looks just like him. Pugs reminds Kelly that a lot of people are socially retarded. Pugs and Kelly agree that it's scary when you meet listeners when you have your parents or kids around.
*break*
Pugs wonders why ice cold chocolate milk is delicious and hot chocolate milk is delicious but when it's piss warm then it's awful. Kevin, Kelly's brother, joins the show again. Kevin has something he has to tell Pugs. He searches his brain and remembers that he got engaged over the weekend. Kelly says that her grandmother told her and Kevin is very angry about that. He asked her to marry her at their favorite Greek spot. Pugs reminds him that he's marrying into a Greek family. Kevin "yeahs" him. Pugs is surprised that they accepted him because those people are normally very selective about who they let into their gene pool. Kelly points out that they're getting married pretty quickly. She wonders how long they've been seeing each other again and Kevin says since November, 7 years ago. Kelly warns her younger brother and tells him that he shouldn't rush into anything. Pugs busts his balls because of his tone. He wonders if they myth about Greek women is true. Kevin says that if it is true, then he got the one that doesn't adhere to the tradition. Pugs thinks that it's on the table because it's part of her culture. Kevin says that if she doesn't want to do it then he's not going to force anything. Kelly thinks that's very big of him. Kevin stumbles around trying to say that he's not interested in it but can't manage to form the words. Pugs thinks that if it takes him 7 years to ask her to marry him then it's going to take even longer to pull this one off. Kelly says that the pressure is on their other brother, Tommy, because he's been with his girlfriend for a long time. Tommy hasn't even told his girlfriend yet. Kevin thinks this may get stinky because their grandmother and Tommy's girlfriend's mother are close. Eric calls in to say that he's dated Greek women but he doesn't know what they mean when they bring up how Greek women would be more inclined to do it. He says that he's in the dark. Pugs thinks that "in the dark" is a good hint. Pugs also bring up how Greek girls have big boobs. Kevin thinks that's a good bonus but says that a lot Greek women have the big as to go along with it. Kevin says that the marriage next year and lets Pugs know that he has a year to come up with his excuse for not going. Congratulations to Kevin for going Greek.
*break*
Pugs saw "Mr. Dallas" walking around the halls. Pugs thinks that Emil on "Sheer Dallas" on TLC is like the black chick disc jockey in "The Warriors". Emil says that the radio spots of him is the non-reality part of this reality show. Pugs thinks that none of it is reality and announces that they'll unveil the evidence a little later on. Kelly got a lot of e-mail asking if Emil is gay. Pugs thought that Emil came off great. He brings up his date. Emil says that it wasn't suppose to be a date. The producers just asked if he'd like to go to a pet party. Emil didn't know they actually met pets. He was hoping it would be some penthouse pets or something. Pugs says that it was a ritzy party for people that pushed all the humans out of their life. Pugs says that Emil's date was an old woman. Emil hasn't seen the episode yet. Kelly thinks that "sooo Dallas". Pugs says that Emil was partying with a bunch of Phoenix Suns on Saturday.... Thank you for the win on Sunday, Emil.... Emil says that he doesn't recalls seeing Jim Jackson at Candle room. Pugs says, aside from Stevey Nash, the suns seemed tired. Kelly thinks that we should adopt this method. She suggests that people buy Suns players a shot when they're running around the city. They go back to the old lady date. Pugs says that she's had a lot of plastic surgery and it made her look like a burn victim. She had three dates. One of the guys only wanted to talk about the dog. Pugs thought it was amazing that she trained the dog to go down the elevator, tip the doorman, use the restroom in the grass, then turns around and goes back up. The third date she had was with Emil. His date was a threesome with the dog. As soon as they get there, the dog started running around. Emil had to chase after the dog the entire time. Emil told the camera that he didn't get to spend time with his date. This is Pugs' evidence. He explains that Emil dates nothing but 10s and he wouldn't be upset about his date with this old woman. Emil says that the acting that he did was awesome because people actually bought that he was upset about not scoring with a 69 year old woman. Emil says that he didn't have much to talk about so he preferred to chase the dog all night.
*break*
Pugs brings up how he mentioned his friend's wallaby. Kelly doesn't think you can buy one of those legally. They wonder if kangaroos really box. Kelly wonders if they can keep their hands up. Pugs thought about it and realized that boxing kangaroos on cartoons have to originate from somewhere. Kelly wants to take kick boxing classes at Freddy's karate school. Pugs thinks it would be cool if it was taught by a kangaroo. Jennifer calls in to say that Freddy is Kelly Raspberry's husband. Pugs and Kelly tell her that she's wrong. Pugs says that the Fort Worth zoo had an "owl". He reminds us that owls have been extinct since the 1884. Sybil marks the boxing kangaroo segment as one of those times where they're the only show in the U.S. talking about a particular subject. She says that and "black guys named Brian" are up there. Kelly brings up how the Mexican President said that Mexican workers are doing the work that not even blacks want to do in the U.S.. Pugs' mind is blown away.
SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!
1. IN Britain, 1 in a 100 abortions are carried out for medical reasons. 33 percent of women have had multiple abortions. One person taking the survey had 6 abortions in one year....
OK, I'm sorry but my recording of the show hit some rough spot. It's all static now. This is obviously the Bush administration's attempt to censor me. Freedom now bitches!
