Kelly had to get her stuff cut for the gynecologist. She thinks he's a jerk for suggesting an advil. She needs something more powerful. She's in a lot of pain and discomfort. Kelly can't have sex. Pugs is freaked out by strange things in the vagina. Kelly isn't comfortable with sex acts during that time of the month. Her boyfriend doesn't care. Pugs notes that he must have his red wings then. Pugs and Eric agree that it's nasty. Whatever dude, just lay a towel down. Sybil isn't into periods either. Pugs brings up that people they know look forward to that type of sex. Kelly bought a new fridge. Her boyfriend was complaining about her upkeep of her fridge. Kelly thinks that's an awful thing to say to a woman. She wants to design her house so that he can feel more comfortable. She bought the fridge because of that little comment that he made. Kelly and Cody moved the fridge. she explains the problem that they had and it reminds me that Cody is lucky that he's pretty. Pugs thinks it's insane that she would spend 1200 dollars for a fridge just because of an off-handed comment. Kelly reminds him that he's crazy. She always wants to buy more things in order to lure him to her house. She has a room that she can decorate for him. Pugs just has a curling iron and a blow dryer for his girlfriend. Pugs likes going to her place because she has great junk food for her kids. He loves uncrustables. Bobby calls in to say that she should get an X-box for the boyfriend. A guy says to get some guy smelling soap for the shower. Sarah calls in to say that she should at least have a 40 inch TV. Pugs thinks that's very important. A guy needs a good place to watch sports center, baseball tonight, and the NBA finals. Eric says that his girlfriend used to have rabbit ears. The show goes off the air for some reason. Must be the government again... It comes back on... then back off... back on.. back off...

*break*

I had to run to the bank during this segment... they talked to the guy that did Super Size Me and his new show. It looks like an interesting show so check it out.

*break*

Kelly tells Cody, who is at her house, that he can have a candy bar...

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!!!!

OK, I'm still not sure how this came to this but Pugs says that for a 100,000 dollars, he'll hammer a nail through his testes. Eric agrees. Kelly is a little disturbed. Pugs explains he'd do it like he was setting up a tent. Hell, I'd do it for 50 grand and a taco. God, I love tacos. Pugs would like to know what the worse medical scenarios are for testes nailing. Kelly wouldn't hammer anything through her "lips". Sybil agrees. Pugs thinks that they don't have to worry about hammering nails through their balls because they're women and they can just sleep with a man to get money. Eric would have somebody else do it to him. Pugs wonders if a nail gun would be good. Eric thinks a nail gun is cheating. Kelly doesn't think the nail gun would hurt that much. Eric points out that a nail gun would go completely down though. Pugs would like somebody to punch him in the side of the head when this act takes place. Kelly thinks it would be bad if you hit the berries. Pugs warns the children to stay in college or you'd end up considering options like this. They remind us that people get it pierced down there all the time. Eric points out that Steve-o from Jackass always staples his testes sack to his leg. They add this to the list of topics that no other radio show is talking about. This goes right along with "black guys named Brian", "Asian guys named Roger", and "Jenna Elfman's family tree".

1. The 11 year old boy scout that was missing in Utah was hiding from rescue workers because of his stranger danger lessons.
Kelly thinks she needs to rethink this "stranger danger" thing.

2. Governor Perry apologized for playfully saying "adios mo fo".
Oh man, that's so cool. I don't like this guy but I think it's cool when a political figure is candid. Hell, I'd say "adios mo fo". That makes me like him. I bet he drinks too much and chain smokes, just like me! Pugs doesn't think they're anything wrong with that. Kelly thinks that he's a dork because nobody says "mo fo". Sybil agrees. Eric thinks that it sounds like he thought he was off camera then. Pugs thinks that he's not being a dick because it's upbeat.

3. In Canada, a man injected another man with aids infected blood and carved the words "rat" on his forehead. This guy was going to rat out the other guy over a murder they pulled off in a motel room. So he pulled an Adebisi on him.
Kelly thinks that this is what they do when there is no hockey.

*break*

Call me a dumbass. I didn't realize that I wasn't recording the show until about halfway through. It's not like it matters though. This blog is pretty much obsolete now. You can listen online at live1053.com. The link for it looks like an ad for poker. It's the big green thing under the "** ON AIR NOW **" sign thing. It's right above the picture of that hot piece of ass that won the bikini contest last year at the Summer Kick Off Party. Did I say piece of ass? I meant the intelligent woman with beauty that can only be matched by her inner beauty. Man, what a fine piece of ass though...

Anywhoosel, I'll get to the half of the show that I did record. Great, it's mid segment too. This is going to be so confusing. Boo spurs boo.

Kelly says that it's the third call in which somebody has linked something to Scott Peterson. Pugs wonders if Kelly ever got herself out of a situation by claiming that a relative died. Kelly says no and Pugs admits that he's pulled that crap all the time. He points out that he doesn't' really have any first cousins so he didn't jinx anybody. William calls in to say that he probably went into details because she may have asked him more about it. Pugs thinks that she could appreciate his creative side then.

*break*

Pugs brings up t he e-mail they got from James. He reminds us who James is and the reasons why he's infamous in the history of the Pugs and Kelly show. James got a job in some pisstown in Oklahoma. He's doing a morning show on a country station. Pugs says that his sidekick is a 60 year old man. He wants tapes of the show because he would love to hear James trying to get along with an old country music DJ. Pugs and Kelly are very happy for James. Kelly hopes that James doesn't get down on himself. Pugs warns that he shouldn't get comfortable in that place. Pugs and Kelly agree that a 60 year old country DJ isn't going to like his songs. Pugs thinks James is brilliant but doesn't think that everybody gets his humor. He adds that just about every program director at this building doesn't get his humor.... I just want to add that if any of you people find yourself in Woodward, Oklahoma for whatever reason, support our homeboy James. I don't know the call letters but just surf around until you find a station with an old man being freaked out by a young weirdo while playing the latest Toby Keith album....

SYBILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!

1. The 11 year old boy scout that went missing in Utah is still missing.
Pugs says that he got eaten by a bear or taken hostage by a pack of wild Indians. Kelly thought that all Indians are wild and Pugs thinks that's racist. He believes that we should embrace our native brothers.

2. The Shiavo Husband and the Shiavo parents are still bitching at each other.

3. GQ magazine interviewed some national guardsmen about Saddam. It turns out that he was a pretty nice old man who loved cheetos and doritos. My partner Paco did a piece about this story that you can read HERE They even said that he gave them relationship advice.
Pugs thinks that Saddam had his own Institute for Human Growth and Development. Kelly wonders what kind of advice he would give and Pugs thinks that he finished a lot of his stuff with "just behead her and have your son rape her body in a soccer stadium". Saddam also hates froot loops. I just love this Saddam story. The "Butcher of Baghdad" eats and acts like a stoner. it's hilarious. I couldn't write a better scenario. He probably watches old episodes of Sienfeld and acts out things that Rasheed Wallace does. Hell, we could probably be friends.

4. Jennifer Wilbanks did an interview. She says that she feels guilty because her family is upset. She wants them to know that it isn't' their fault.
Pugs is bored with this crap. Kelly loves this. Eric points out that there is a lot of stuff on TV last night. Pugs and Kelly declare that they were violently angry that nothing was on last night.

*break*

Late breaking news!!!!

They found the missing boy scout. He's alive. Go Jesus or whatever super hero you believe in!

5. The latest issue of Men's Health Magazine has done a poll. they found that at least 50 percent of men have gone out with somebody from their office.
Kelly married somebody she worked with. She says that she didn't have time to really meet anybody else. Pugs thinks that the kids would love to hear that the reason why they exist is because mommy was too lazy to find a better one. Kelly realizes that what she said seemed a little mean but assures us that they she didn't mean it like that. Pugs and Kelly are tired of people IMing and E-mailing about the repeating commercials on the webcast. They would like people to know that they have no control over that and wish they'd shut the hell up. You people were complaining all this time and now you complain even more. There is no pleasing you people. Next thing you know, you'll want Pugs and Kelly to come out to your house and talk for 4 hours. Well you know what? Pugs and Kelly don't want to do that, you weirdo. I'm sure you have a lovely home but doing the Human growth and development segment for 2 or 3 people is just a little creepy. Just enjoy the repeating commercials, enjoy when the show comes back on, enjoy a nice bran muffin in the morning to help with your fiber intake, and shut up. I swear...

6. In Kenya, a shoe repairman was caught banging sheep. He was nearly lynched for it. Dang, all for a sheep. A sheep is a good looking animal too. It's not handsome like a deer or anything but it's cute. At 2 am, closing time at the bar, if there is a sheep around... yeah, I'd probably bang it too. Pugs teaches us that sheep have human like vaginas. He claims that he has no idea how he knows that. Pugs thinks that it probably feels nice to make love to it cause when you hug it, it's warm and soft. Sybil calls him a Ba-a--a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ad man.

7. Researchers at the University of Kansas are working on a birth control pill for men... will this pill give us acne and make our asses bigger? Cause I'm sooo not taking it then....
Sarah calls in to say that sheep really do have human like vagina.

8. There is a 15 year old boy in India that has periods. He bleeds from his wee wee every third week a month.
Kelly would be so pissed if her doctor narced to everyone about that. Pugs thinks that India is F*ed up. He wonders if they have a president because it's a mess. Pugs and Sybil agree that it's probably the elephant thing with lots of arms. Kelly says that they have a guy that has red flowers that travels around. She thinks that they think he's god. Her Indian friend couldn't come out one night because God was going to her house. Pugs thinks it's pretty awesome to have God hang out at your house. Pugs and Kelly thinks it's odd that God can't get lease for a place. Pugs wants a religion where God is so accessible that he'll actually come to his place and crash on his couch. They wonder what the Dali Lama has to do with all of this.

9. Sarah Michelle Gellar will be starring in Alice in Wonderland.

10. Texas Rangers lost to the Angels. They're like 2.5 back now.

11. Game 6 is tonight, Well, it happened. I wrote about it HERE.

*break*

I worked all day yesterday... yes, I work too... I barely got to listen to the show. But hey hey hey hey, you can now listen to the station online. Just go to Live 105.3.com and click that ad that says "listen online" or whatever. It looks like a giant poker ad. I've tested it and it sounds damn good. Enjoy.