Bruce called Kelly to deliver bad news. Pugs wonders why Bruce suddenly turned into a black crow. Kelly says that it's the influence of Dr. Schwartz. Bruce told Kelly about how it's going to rain in Playa Del Carmen. Pugs and Kelly leave at 4 am on Thursday morning. Pugs is going to stay at Tammy's house on Wednesday and Kelly tells him that she is staying there too. It's a P and K slumber party! Kelly says that weather.com has a good outlook. Kelly isn't going into the town. She is going to stay at the resort. Pugs thinks that's outrageous because you go to town to sight see and shop. Kelly wants to be safe. Pugs reminds her that it's Playa Del Carmen not Mexico City. Kelly also says that Bruce told her that if you type in pugsandkellylive.com then it send you to a Shamus McNasty site. That's if you drop the "www". I don't know what the deal is so don't e-mail me about it please. This seems like a Scott thing. Kelly complains that every time she eats off resort in Mexico she gets sick. Pugs says that you don't really here much about people getting violently ill when they go to resorts in Mexico. Kelly says that you just hear about them getting raped and beaten.
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It's now time for the Pugs and Kelly Institute for Human Growth and Development. This guy e-mails to complain that he overheard a few of his wife's co-workers calling her the hottest woman in the office. He doesn't like the idea of these bozos checking her out. He wonders if she should be defended. Kelly sarcastically says that he should defend the honor of his wife by telling off these people that find her attractive. Pugs thinks that he might be leaving some details out because it doesn't sound that bad. He wonders if he said something like "man, look at that ass... I just want to bend that over her desk and give it to her". Kelly doesn't think that's bad. Pugs thinks that it's an overly aggressive tone from a guy that is around when the husband isn't. A dude calls in to say that he should sit his wife down and let her know what's going on. Then the ball is in her court. The caller's wife had a problem. She gave the suitor three strikes then told her husband to handle it. He told the guy off in front of the boss. The callers says that she felt good because she tried to handle it and only used her husband as a last resort. Greg Hill calls in. Pugs wonders what Greg does when people check out his wife. Greg says that he doesn't care. He says that if she was to follow it then the law would be on his side. He also adds that if he is ever able to break free then he knows he has a ton of options. Pugs thinks that Greg is too honest and too secure. Pugs says that the problem with Greg is that whenever he's in a relationship, he's the pretty one.
*break*
I went to the bank to do the stuff that I was suppose to do yesterday. I didn't get to do this segment. Pugs and Kelly discussed which local news people they'd bang.
*break*
Pugs wished he had a guy to go with in Mexico. Kelly reminds him that Mr. Negative, Bruce, is going to be there. Pugs gets an e-mail from a lady that tells him that the TV in Playa Del Carmen's resorts sucks. She advises to bring DVDs. Pugs is upset. He can't watch TV, he cant chase girls because his girlfriend will be with him, and he can't do the drug thing because he doesn't do that stuff anymore. He wants to know what he can do in Playa Del Carmen now. Kelly thought that you can get pills everywhere. Pugs doesn't think that's true. He thinks that the rumors are just BS. Eric laughs at that and Pugs asks if you can really get them at a resort town. Kelly wonders why'd you be able to get it at a border town and not there. Pugs tells her that he went with Bruce to several pharmacies and tried to get pills but they couldn't score any. Eric says that he just walked into a pharmacy in Cancun and asked for xanax. Pugs wants to get a pinata, a sombrero, and some mind-altering drugs. A guys calls in to say that some people might make you work for it a little more but you shouldn't have too big a problem getting it. Pugs wonders why it would be such a hassle and Eric tells him that they can get in trouble by the government. Kelly doesn't think they have a government. Pugs assumes that the doctors at resorts are American doctors that left a sponge in somebody. He says that isn't a big deal because it could happen to anybody. All the blood makes everything very confusing. Jessica calls in to say that you should bring an ATM card because you get a better exchange rate. A lady calls in to say that you can see the pyramids south of Playa. Pugs is taking a resort helicopter to the pyramids. Kelly thinks that's silly and wonders why he won't just drive. Eric says that it sucks to get pulled over by federales because they single out Americans. Eric had the scariest time with federales when he was in a bus in Mexico. He was backpacking and transporting weed. He hid the weed in sandwiches. He had to give them 500 dollars. Pugs says that the cops are just doing their jobs then. Eric clarifies that he didn't say that he didn't do anything wrong, he just had a scary time. Jaime calls in to suggest that they do the Mayan adventure. You get to snorkel in the reef. Pugs gives her the buzzer. You also get to jump off a cliff. Pugs gives her the buzzer. Kelly wonders why Jaime thinks that they'd be into that. Jaime attempts to sway them by adding that they give you corona. Kelly reminds her that they also do that at the bar. Pugs is fine with sitting at the bar and hearing about people's tales of the Mayan adventure. Pugs just wants to see the pyramids. Jaime tells him that it's so hot that it sucks without jumping off a cliff. Kelly wants to go body surfing in the ocean. Pugs is going to watch his girlfriend surf from the patio. Eric calls in to ask Pugs if he's going to see the ruins because people are telling him to check it out or if he really wants to see it. Pugs wants to see the ruins. He says that he's seen Irish, English, and Scottish ruins. Eric, the caller not the producer, says that he did it once and it sucked. He advises that it takes too much time out of your drinking schedule. Pugs says that he's sincerely interested in the history and Eric tells him that it's too much walking in the heat. Some guy in the background of Eric's office or home or prison says "that's not what vacation is about". Les, expert of everything cause he has a British accent, says that the pyramids aren't really pyramids. Nothing at the ruins is over 3 stories high. Pugs feels deflated.
*break*
Kelly has an e-mail from a guy. He says that he's assuming that Kelly is stupid because she's made about 50 racist comments. He says that not everyone in Mexico is a stupid-poor wetback. Kelly says that she is stupid and never pretends to be worldly wise. She thinks that she can't be called stupid for not wanting to wander around a foreign country alone. Pugs says that Mexico is a big place and there probably are places where American tourist aren't safe. Jay Gormley, CBS 11 news, joins the show. He's doing the news because Sybil is on vacation. Pugs reminds us that Jay is the blood and guts guy. Jay says that he hasn't had to do a blood and guts story in a while. He's doing a report on the crappy panhandling law that isn't working.
JAYISZATION AS WE KNOW IT
1. All 4 suspected bombers are believed dead in London. They are all British citizens.
Pugs thinks that it's really convenient to come out a week later and say "all the bombers are dead". Jay points out that they said that it wasn't suicide bombers and now they're all dead. Pugs says that it's all semantics.
2. A bus driver that was on a bus where a bomb went off pulled survivors from the wreckage.
3. A mother has been charged with child abuse after she made her two children take turns riding in the trunk of her car during an 8 hour road trip.
4. Hurricane Emily is being a bitch.
Pugs isn't frightened by hurricanes. Jay wonders if he's ever been in a hurricane. Kelly says that you know it's coming and only dumb asses and reporters hang out in the storm. Pugs thinks that Geraldo is the best at this because he waits for the hardest part of the storm and then does a bit. Eric likes it when he fakes stumble. Pugs thinks that Jay should try that.
Jay's mic goes out. Wow, what a piece of crap studio.
*break*
5. The Dallas PD is starting a new program that forces all it's cops to run a beat.
6. Colleyville is the best place to live but some old man is upset about it because it's not as good as it was back in his time. You know the good ol' days when black people couldn't drink out of the same fountains and those damn kids didn't have those damn video games and gangs.
Pugs' light is burnt out. Kelly laughs because normally her light is burnt out. They realize that somebody just switched the bulbs. Pugs complains because his head phones sound funny. He tries out Kelly's pair but it sounds weird too. I have technical problems too. My recording goes out until segment 3. The first two segments were short. THe first was just "hey, we're back and we think that Kelly and hr boyfriend did it on a jet ski". The second one was about the death of comedian and frequent show guest Freddy Soto. Freddy was a great comedian and will be missed. He helped start getamexican.com and screwed with Grandpa Munster.
*break*
Pugs and Kelly are still shocked by the news of Freddy Soto's death. Pugs reads a blurb from latinocomedy.com. Kelly called somebody at the Improv and they confirmed it. Pugs called Sean Rouse. They bring up how Freddy wasn't a party guy. He liked to drink a little bit but he didn't do drugs. He just had a baby with his wife. They want to take a break so they can regroup and restart the show.
*break*
They're back after that quick and morbid break. It's now time for the Pugs and Kelly Institute of Human Growth and Development. Some guy who can't seem to put a clear thought in his E-mail is having problems. He's 44 and has been married for 20 years. He has twin daughters and a bitch wife. A year ago, the bitch decided that she was going to cheat on him. She confessed to the affair 6 months ago. He didn't make her leave because she's the mother of his children. He also pledged an oath to stick it out. Kelly thinks that drug addiction and cheating are deal breakers. You should be allowed to leave if that happens. Pugs doesn't think that drug abuse is a deal breaker. The other night, one of his friend's daughter's roommates, who is 23, tickled his fancy. Now he wants to fancy her tickle. Pugs notes that he has short eyes. Kelly doesn't know what that means. Pugs explains that it's a prison term for guys that like younger meat. She told him that she had a big crush on him. His mother was at the party and told him to go for it. Pugs thinks this sounds very dirty. The girl is sweet and looks like Carmen Electra. His wife was being bitchy to everyone. He'd like to take her out but he's wondering if it's OK to break his oath. Pugs doesn't think that she's sweet because she's 23. She's a lolita. He says that if he can just bang her with no stings attached then that's fine. He shouldn't spend more time than that. Kelly says that there are other options. You don't have to just be married or bang the new chick. Pugs thinks that she probably looks like Carmen Electra after a car wreck. Kelly thinks that he just doesn't want to be alone. That's why he didn't kick his wife out of the house. Pugs and Kelly point out that we don't know if she cheated because he's not close to her or if she cheated because she's a dirt bag. Sandra calls in and she's the 23 year old chick. She proves it by saying his e-mail address and first name. She says that he's very warm and welcoming. Yeah, I bet he's welcoming tot he 23 year old Carmen Electra lady. She says that the wife is really snotty. Kelly says that I just told her that I'm sure that the wife has a reason to be snotty to the 23 year old Carmen Electra look-a-like that has a crush on her husband. Sandra assures us that she's a bitch to everybody. Pugs wonders if she's looking for a daddy figure. She says that she doesn't think so. Her father wasn't around growing up though. She says that guys her age are kind of stupid. Sandra has big real boobs. Pugs blesses Sandra.
*break*
Chad calls in because he wants to hear the Grandpa Munster call. The recording went out again and I was going to the bank. My car battery died so I was dealing with that too. I missed this segment and I have no clue what it's about. I"m going to guess that it was about the possibility of a global arms race in space. I come back after being unable to find a booster pack, jumper cables, or battery charger and some guy is on the phone. He says that he accidentally told his girlfriend that he loved her. He was on the phone with her and his mother was at his place. His mom left and he told his mother "I love you". The girlfriend thought he was talking to him and said "I love you too". Pugs laughs at him for being in love.
*break*
Sean Rouse calls the show. Kelly tells him that they're waiting for him to die and wonders if he's getting himself healthier. Sean promises her that he's watching it. Sean is on to talk about Freddy Soto. Sean says that he was in L.A. and they think it was an aneurysm. Freddy did a set two nights ago and then the next morning he was dead. Sean says that Freddy wasn't a druggie but he would knock back a couple of beers. Pugs says that when Mitch Hedberg died everyone figured that would happen because he lived life on the edge. Sean says that a blind man could see that coming. Sean was hanging out with a few comedians at the Comedy Store last night reflecting on Freddy. He was with Joey Diaz, Steve Trevino, and Bobby Lee. They just got hammered. Sean isn't hung over. He assures Kelly that he isn't a sissy. He just had ten drinks. Pugs notes that Sean has only been on to talk about dead comics lately. It's not a very good vehicle for his comedy. Sean points out that two are gone and they're waiting for one more to complete the cycle. Pugs hopes that it's not Sean. Pugs wonders if he's taking care of himself. Sean says that after the last time they saw him he was in the hospital for a week. He had inflammation of the heart sack. He woke up from a nap and knew that something was wrong. He did a show and his chest hurt. He was still out of breath. Pugs is shocked that he did a show with chest pains. Kelly reminds Pugs that Sean is used to pain. Sean says the F word and they have to dump out. Pugs wonders if he's still living at Ralphie May's house. Sean says that he's back with his ex the black girl. Kelly wants to know what issue broke them up before. Sean says that they were probably together for too long. Pugs tells Sean that Kelly was trying to lead him into his stand up material. Sean says they're back together because he needed a place to crash. He adds that she's a sassy sister just like they are on TV. He likes it because it gives him something to work off of. Sean says that you know Freddy is a good guy because all the Mexican comics like him. Pugs and Kelly don't get that. They guess it's an inside comedy joke. Kelly thinks that Sean should put that in his act. Sean says goodbye. Pugs and Kelly are worried about Sean. Kelly wouldn't be surprised if Sean died because he's unhealthy and an alcoholic. Pugs thinks that he's Keith Richards. Everyone will die but he'll live on. He then realizes that Hedberg's death throws a wrench into that theory. They play a clip of Freddy's first appearance on the show. He and Steve Trevino are screwing with Grandpa Munster. They make him think that they have a show with a Good Ol' Boy DJ and a fresh from the border Mexican. Grandpa Munster reveals his old man racist side. It's good fun. He keeps calling Steve Trevino "Choo Choo Frito" Recapping this wouldn't do it justice. If you missed it I'm sorry. I'll figure out how to put it on the website but the website has a file size limit. So... yeah.
*break*
And again with the recording failure. This friggin' sucks. Will somebody give me a free computer? I have to use my laptop to work and this giant piece of crap is crapping out the recordings. Give me, give me, give me, and make sure it has cool stuff on it. My birthday is coming up you know. July 22. Just a thought.
Heather Hays from Fox 4 did the news because Sybil is on Vacation. She almost added credibility to the show. Almost, lets not start handing out Peabody awards yet. They then talk to Brooke Burns. She;s that hot piece of ass that's now on "Rock Star- INXS". It's a new show that's looking for a new lead singer of INXS.
weeeee
